So...We Permed Our Hair For...Lies..!? & Why Some Are Returning Back To Perms.

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The Ongoing Projectpatreon: patreon.com/mayowasworld

paypal.me/mayowasworld

venmo: @mayowasworld

instagram.com/mayowasworld

Music : "Love so Good"

The Ongoing Project

#permboxgirls #texturism

Something that I noticed - and I think a lot of other people were noticing as well - was that a lot of these girlies who were on the cover of the perm boxes, wasn't even getting perms. So it's funny because 3C hair people were also were the people in the perm box, but 3C hair people were also the people on the as the face of the natural hair movement. It'S wild Hi, Welcome to Mayowa's World hi, everyone um, so I want this video to be pretty quick, because this was something that I saw on the internet that was going around trending a couple like a week ago, a couple weeks ago about how the girlies they People started this tweet where they were like hey, if you guys had natural um. If you were on the perm box, show us where you are now and a lot of these girls were showing pictures of them. Something that I noticed, and I think a lot of other people were noticing as well. Was that a lot of these girlies who were on the cover of the perm boxes, wasn't even getting perms? And you know it's fine, I'm laughing! I'M like. Oh, I remember that girl, but really, when I think about it, it's making me mad yeah. It'S making me mad because listen we were going through it.., we were burning our scalps. Like I literally remember, being a kid praying. I looked like the girl on the cover of the perm box. I was so confuzzled by why my hair wasn't doing what the girl on the perm Box's hair was doing. Like I don't know, maybe it's just the people I talk to, but every friend I had who had 4C very kinky dense hair. As soon as we permed our hair, we would lose so much of our hair, like perming, does not make everyone's hair look straight and silky perming made my hair look really dry I'll see if I can even find a photo. Don'T laugh at me if you laugh at me anti-black, but perming was not good for me or my friends who had hair textures similar to mine and perming, really made me think that I just naturally had thin hair, which is so funny, because my hair is really Really thick, I was taking Biotin vitamins trying to get thicker hair. Meanwhile, it's the perm, that's making my hair thin, and it wasn't until I started to see them as adults that I was seeing. A lot of these girls had a 3C hair texture and it was just blown out and straightened. It was just blow dry, blowed out and straightened and put on the cover of a perm box, and then you have me a future 4C Baddie in the making. At five, eight years old, wanting the same thing that these girls was having. Meanwhile, it's not even achievable and it's funny, because when I started doing um more work about colorism and texturism, I saw this commercial of Debbie Allen where she was promoting perm and girl. You have a loose curl, you don't. You are not perming your hair. That was not a perm, but I feel like there is historically a thing where you get people who benefit from texturism. You straighten their hair and then you sell it to people who are affected by texturism, so you're having us chase an image of something that essentially isn't going to be possible and for a lot of us perving our hair. Had our hairs come smooth off. It'S very funny for me, because you know I used to perm my hair and I would lose my hair so much. My hair would fall out in bulks and even just normalizing the pain that comes with perming. That'S another thing that people you know in the this concept with like the longer you keep it in the more it hurts the straighter. It will become something very psychologically warped about how perming is and not to mention the dangers that it brings us, and all of us were doing these things to chase an unachievable thing, and this is why I always talk about discernment on my channel, because it's very Important for us to have discernment and for us to be very careful with what we consume. Yes, looking back, these are things that were big in the 90s and 2000s. These were girls who we were seeing on the perm box, 90s and 2000s, but now I still see the same things happening, especially with the natural hair movement and how people were always selling us um products. They know damn well, they know damn. Well, it's not doing nothing in the hair. We was using so many products that we were. I remember when I had loose 4C hair. So before my hair locked, I was doing like a 12-step conditioner than a conditioner, then a deep conditioner and a special shampoo and then a lotion. And then, oh, my God, and like the real gag, the real tea is, if you have 4C hair you're trying to manage your 4C hair literally, all you need is like need is like water and some kind of butter like something like for me. Shea butter works just something to detangle it like you, don't need all the products are selling you and for me, when I started my channel, I had a lot of companies hit me up to try and sell products, and I always just found it to be very Comical because the whole point of freeform hair is that you don't need products. Of course you can have your own little special shampoo. If you want, you can have your own, like everything works different for different people, but of what is being sold like it's. Just there's more invested for people to make money selling you things that they don't really use, and there is for them to tell you the honest truth that you just really don't need it. So that's why I always say with watching people on here. Just be very careful and very weary of what they show you, so it's funny because for 3C hair people were also were the people in the perm box, but 3C hair people were also the people on the as the face of the natural hair movement. It'S wild. So you know what I think was one of the biggest downfalls within the natural hair community. The rhetoric that became so normalized of saying that 4C hair is so hard to take care of natural hair is so hard to take care of because think about it. If you have created a system that you make people feel like, you need 12 steps. You need all these products that are incredibly expensive, that only when you have those products will your hair finally do what it `` should'' be doing. If that has become the rhetoric, then what that subconsciously tells us is that our hair is something that has to be managed and has to take a lot of steps and takes a lot of energy. Not only are we making people feel like that, they need to have products to have um acceptable hair, but then also we at the same time we're telling people that only when your hair is in a braided out in a twist out in any kind of style, Where it's not in its shrunken state, is it considered beautiful if the natural hair movement had flipped its formula to where you are celebrating, or we had celebrated kinky hair in its shrunken state, which is the healthiest State? When you have 4C hair, your healthiest state is when your hair compresses into itself, because that's how kinky hair works. If we had taught people to celebrate that part, we would have a completely different outcome. We wouldn't have people saying. Oh, my hair is too takes too much to manage because who taught you that your hair took a lot to manage. I mean I know who taught you, but you know I'm saying and a lot of these companies when they found out that black hair. You know all these companies that own black hair aren't even on aren't even like owned by black people. When these companies realize that black people was needing hair products, they started just, I feel like they just started, making up stuff. They started making up. Oh yeah, you got ta, have you also like Eva Marcelle? Even with locks, you tried it with the loc Community was like absolutely not. You are not about to come over here, you're lying on this internet, saying that you need 15 products like that. They did that in the natural hair community and these in these companies that never cared about black people started making all these products, and it's the same, I feel like a lot of these products were the same things that white people were using, but they just made It in brown - they just made it for an urban demographic. I don't actually believe they changed much in the formula. I think they just started making things, because they started to realize that black people want needed to buy hair products. So I feel like the the the extension of what happened with perms right. You know how perms is like you need this one product to get this outcome. Then the natural hair community ended up being unique. You need to buy these many products to have this once again, one outcome and and which is essentially, everyone striving towards 3C hair, because everyone in the natural hair community was striving towards making their hair look looser. So these are the things that went wrong in the natural hair community that ended up. That ended us back to where we are, and I still feel like we're having conversations even within the lock Community, I'm seeing a lot of people. Finally, addressing the texturism that happens between when people, sometimes when people have manicured locks and they look down upon people who have free Farm locks or people who look down upon people who have shorter locks versus longer locks like we're having this conversation. But these things are embedded in all communities and they're all rooted in anti-blackness. So now that people are going back to perming their hair, I'm seeing a rise people going back to perming their hair. I'M now seeing that the people who are going about to perming their hair is a lot of people who have 4C, who were made fun of who are made to feel smaller than, and something that I didn't like within the natural hair movement is the way that We would really shame people for not wanting to wear their natural hair out, like I remember so many dark-skinned people who have 4C hair and when they wear a wig people were like. Well, you don't love yourself, just like a really simple analysis of why they wouldn't show their hair, but then, when you have your 4C hair out, you're getting made fun of, and people want to tell you about what you need to do differently about your hair. Like still to this day, we have so many videos of people laughing at particularly dark skinned 4C hair people, people with kinky hair, that's still a butt of a joke for a lot of people. It'S really upsetting and I feel upset that we were buying these prom products and and hurting ourselves, because perming is actually painful and we are hurting ourselves to have a looser hair texture that just isn't that isn't natural. We were doing so much and it really damaged a lot of people like, even though I'm making jokes like perms a lot of these perms, especially with the idea that we're buying into something that isn't real, like it, really hurt people and we're continuing to hurt them. Now and when people going back to parents, I'm just like listen, I can't I'm not going to get mad at you, because I understand the system and I understand how painful it is. But it really is upsetting, because the people who are going to you know I think people are trying to make it into some kind of new reclamation or make it seem as if it's really radical to go back to having perms or it's it's just like we're. Trying to assimilate like I get it, it's it's hard, but yeah, it's sad! So I don't. I I see that the trend is going back and I think a lot of it happens to like the failings that naturally occurred within the natural hair movement. The prioritizing of people with 3C hair, the idea of stretching your hair to then bantu knot it a couple like something that I also find really interesting about 4C hairs. I see a lot of people doing 4C, hair and they're, always using so much force, and it kind of reiterates. This idea that, like you, only force or violence or or power, is, can be used to tame 4c hair, and it really doesn't have to be like that, like if you're having resistance, you need to add more water and in life like even on a deep wave. That'S a lot like the things should not be resisting the way that it is because you can easily like. Let'S take our time. Let'S add water, let's add softness, I really enjoy like I love this person online. Their name is TheeSudani and they do their hair and they just do it with so much softness and tenderness, and that is really what is like. 4C hair is about like the softness, the tenderness, the the prioritizing the scalp, the prioritizing you know healthiness over always stretching it out. We were stretching out our hair so much to achieve a 4A hair texture, a 3C hair texture to where now people are getting texturizers to change their hair. To like a 4C, a 4A hair texture, like the root of the problem, was never really addressed, because we were so fixated on the shininess of of look bouncy curls like four threes, 3C hair texture. I see this to say that we were really priming our hairs for an unachievable look and like we're low-key. Going back to that now. Let me know what you think if you guys have been seeing, if you also have noticed a rise in people wanting to go back to perms and how did y'all feel when you saw these little girlies and they was Wash and Go Girls. How was y'all feeling? Because me me, I'm mad, I'm mad yeah yeah mad! So yeah, thanks for watching have a great day, bye.

Adams: Unpopular opinions: 4c hair is NOT difficult to manage and it's actually the loud whining and complaining about 4c hair that is part of what makes 4c girls hate their hair. I'm 34 but I've been natural since I was 10 and I never knew there was a problem with my 4C hair until the natural hair movement happened and I saw people all over social media whining non-stop about how awful it is to have. Women would go natural only with the hope that they were type 2 or 3 and if they found out they didn't have it, they would just live vicariously through type 2 and type 3 women online. Absolutely sickening. I'm honestly not mad people are going back to relaxers. If it means it'll silence the chronic screaming about 4c hair that we've had to listen to for the past 10 years or so then so be it. ‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️

Hey hey ningen SUCKER ah ningen ningen FUCKER: you can not risk damaging the models hair, but you can sell lies to your client and damage their hair? girl that's a LAWSUIT.

s.w.: I never got a perm, bit when I saw that Twitter thread, I was thoroughly pissed and annoyed. Them "boxes" caused arguments in my house. My two older sisters were permed. When it came my time, my dad started fighting with my mom because he was convinced perms caused hair loss, cancer, etc etc. I never wanted one either cause I liked looking like Erykah Badu when my hair got wet . Anyways, mama wasn't happy lol

Tamisanqa: I honestly think that a lot of the colourism and texturism in the US is contributed by the normalisation of the One Drop Rule, which means that mixed people are also considered black. Due to that, because they're more diluted, palatable forms of "blackness", mixed people especially mixed women, ended up being the representation of black women and because of that, became the beauty standard in the black community, so even the idea of what is light skinned is even lighter than what it should be, because mixed people are involved. Same with texturism- all the black girls with hair insecurity because looser curls of women women are deemed the standard. I feel really bad for black girls growing up in the US with those kind of comparisons and unfortunately many, even black women, have adopted the One Drop Rule, not realising that they are ruining their own representation. At least nowadays, some are waking up to the disadvantages of it.

J B: As someone with 4C hair who eventually locd and never looked back, the only time I felt free with my loose natural hair was when it was in its shrunken state/afro. My hair never did well with wash and go's, twists outs and I felt so MUCH self hate watching the whitneys and other girls with loose hair textures looking the way I wanted my hair to look but could not achieve. And the gag is, people even lied about their hair being 4c because they make money off of our self hate. I'm still learning to love my hair but its been a long road. I have medium density and fine strands. Thank you for pointing out the audacity. Its important to point out the ideals that we could have never reached. Like the BBL girls doing fitness videos and content.

natasha rules: What you said about 3c hair girls being on the box AND being the face of the natural hair movement is golden

Mishella Saurusrex: Oh girl, that last bit about the force and manipulation, the softness and tenderness. I've been pulling and dragging my 4C hair all my youth. Now in my late 20s and my hair is beautiful (but sparse, with breakage). I'm slowly but surely learning to love my 4C hair and show it extra care and attention with gentleness and tenderness. I don't use a comb anymore to detangle just my fingers. I braid my hair, but very loosely and usually just do 2 strand twist. I'm hoping and praying it will grow back to its fullness that I once had.

Sheila Cole: The amount of money Black girls and women paid to have relaxed/ permed smooth hair …. All lies to get our hard earned cash . Thanks Mayowa for highlighting this

Tone Slater: Havent even finished the video and I absolutely love it! I went through the exact same thing when I first went natural and was using like 10 products when I styled my hair. Now, you guys are going to get whatever my hair gives. AND I LOOOOVE IT!

Mara Jones: Mayowa, Mayowa listen to me love. You are a gem and a gift to this world. Thank you. "If the natural hair movement had flipped it's formula to where we celebrated kinky hair in it's shrunken state which is its HEALTHIEST state" GURL I have been saying this to my friends for the longest time and felt like I never got heard. SHRINKAGE IS NOT THE ENEMY. It's a sign your hair is healthy. It's just how our hair is. But we were taught to hair shrinkage cuz the natural hair movement used 3c hair as its symbol and end goal when that's not the reality for type 4 hair. Our hair is beautiful, strong, tenacious, and versatile. Type 4 hair will never look or present itself like type 3 hair and that's OKAY. It's beautiful. As a teacher, I have learned so much from your channel and you are one of the reasons I stopped killing myself to use a bunch of products to manipulate my hair to look defined and look like type 3 hair. Now, I literally just use water, and raw shea butter and maybe some coconut oil. And my hair is so healthy omg. I still shampoo and condition here and there but I haven't touched my gel in months because my hair is beautiful the way it is. And some of my students wear their hair natural, in puffs, in braids, or fro and I make sure to CELEBRATE their natural hair and tell them everyday how beautiful it is. I even quote you Mayowa to my kids. I tell them, "Our class is like our hair. We have type 4 hair that is strongest when coiled together. Our hair is stronger together and so are we. We need to be kind and build a strong community in our classroom because, like our hair, we are stronger together". Thank you Mayowa for teaching me to love my natural hair because I am now teaching this new generation of black boys and girls to also love their natural hair and girl its working. These kids are confident, bold and happy <3

Angelica Mendes: I joined the natural hair movement in 2016 convinced by social media that underneath my permed hair was 3C curls. I’m 4C and now have microlocs that I adore

so.many.obstacles: For many of us, getting a relaxer wasn’t a choice. It then became engrained that it was a necessity for various reasons. I started growing out my relaxer in 2007 when I worked in the West End, ATL. I saw a lot of BW with natural hair and they inspired me to let go of my relaxer. I have no desire to straighten my hair with heat, let alone go back to a relaxer.

Patricia Ramirez: I was never chasing anyone! I did what I wanted with my hair. I had a perm for over 30 years! After I thought that going to the Salon became too expensive; I went natural! I have been natural for almost 9 years now. I have had my hair flat ironed 3 times in 9 years. Know who you are; do what you want with your hair! I am getting old, I am dark-skinned and I have never called what anyone else was doing to their hair.Live and let live; it is not that deep!

Terri Sargent: I believe most advertising is set up to lie. Hair industries have been doing the same thing, e.g. YouTubers who play the natural style thing and act like their hair is 4c when the hair, in front of our eyes, is 4a, 3b, 3a, etc. I literally watched one YouTubers say with an attitude "I know my hair isn't 4c but yall know how it is". NOOOOOO WE FREAKIE DO NOT. When natural hair YouTubers went crazy and the twist styles were hot, so many 3b, and 4a YouTubers lied through their teeth, they knew that the product they used worked differently on 4c hair, and they didn't care. Shoot, even using edge control, so many had slick edges already but made it seem like the product made their edges look a certain way, no your edges aren't kinky so of course, it's going to lay down a certain way. I struggle to support the black hair business because their advertisements bothered me the most by lying right in my face, nothing manners to them but duking people for their dollars.

No: I love working remotely now instead of being forced into these "professional environments" where I have to make my hair suitable to the yt gaze to be respected. I do almost absolutely nothing to hair now and it is so healthy

Matxalen C: I can't stand it when people say 4c hair is hard! It's really not. When my hair transitioned out of a relaxer after not going to the hair salon anymore (my mom was laid off during the '08 recession and had to take a cheaper job), I was fortunate to read 'Curly Like Me' by Terri LaFlesh. We have very different hair textures, but because she focused on technique, I could use what she was saying. At the time, I didn't know there was a natural hair movement going on. I think if I had been watching YouTubers who were just promoting products, my hair would not be in good condition and I wouldn't know how to care for it. That being said, I think for a lot of these women, the natural hair movement was a trend to be followed. There was nothing spiritual behind wanting to take care of their hair like wanting to love yourself, there wasn't even just a desire to maintain healthy hair. I think they were hoping it would be a fun, cute trend, but because they were following women who didn't have hair like theirs, but was telling them they could have hair like theirs if they used certain products, and it didn't work, they stopped wanting to follow the trend.

Ireally Dontknow: I got tired of doing those hair routines so I just washed my hair and used Shea butter and left my hair alone after and it started growing

aTropicalTwist: I just discovered this channel, and let me tell you....this video NEEDS to go viral! It's insane that, for decades, so many women have been (and are continuing to be) misled into thinking that something is "wrong" with their hair, all because of false advertising. Having studied Communications, I know a bit about marketing, but this right here is just shameful and people NEED to know the truth.

Scandal Candy: I remember keeping relaxers on as long as possible, just so I could get that straight hair, then my scalp would be weeping, and finally my hair would break off! And then chasing that 3c look even AFTER going natural! Now, it seems so ridiculous to me . I'm so so glad I've got locs now. You talk the truth Mayowa THANKYOU !!

Ohana ohana: Maybe I'm the only one, but I LOVED Just For Me kiddie relaxer. I was a grown woman using it and it did the JOB. I rememer bringing the box perm to my beautician, and she gave me the side eye and told me it wouldn't take. Needless to say, she was amazed at the results.

Sibusisiwe Shabala: True truth I remember using the “kiddies” box relaxer and wondering why my hair didn’t look the girl on the box it’s truly something that affected my self esteem as a child going into my teens. Side note: MAYOWA!!! Why the heck do you look so fricgen cute??? Da fuk!

Jamaal Curry: Your commentary is brilliant and your dreads are beautiful

Rexx Lashell: Growing up, my mama always permed my hair (I think she permed my hair for the first time when I was like 4 or 5 years old) and I used to wish my hair came out like the girls that was on those boxes (and also my best friend at the time was a light skinned girl who had really long 3 type black hair that was down her back and I wished my hair was long like hers ,but my hair never came past my lower neck) but instead it made my hair dry, and by time I was 11 years old my hair was slowly breaking off due to the amount of perms I was getting (it was getting so short my mama couldn't even put my hair in a ponytail), so when I was 11 my mama had cut my hair into a TWA and added a texturizer to my very short hair. So from 11 until I was 17 I was getting texturizers put in my hair (I couldn't believe I thought I was natural back then lol) but then the texturizers started breaking off the hair on the side of my edges, so at 17 I stop putting texturizers in my hair and just went fully natural. But even then I was still straightening my hair (which always came out terrible), so for like 4 years I was wearing afros, plaited twists/braids, and straighten my hair, it's even been a few times I shaved all my hair off and rocked the baldie look. But as of a few months ago, I decided to let my plaited braids loc up and now I have beginner stage Freeforms after growing my hair out for almost a year (my hair is a little bit longer than my profile pic now). Now all I put in my locs is H20, and 100% organic coconut oil and wash my locs with real African black soap because those products make my hair and scalp always feel so moisturized I feel like this is the best hair growth journey I ever had. I give thanks to my big bro (he's been having freeforms for like 7 years now) and you Mayowa for inspiring me to get Freeforms ❤️

Live Breathe: I’ve been relaxing my hair for 16 years! It damaged my hair, my scalp and even my skin. I was doing it myself so my skin would get burned. I got chemical burns. My hair was falling out so bad and got so damaged beyond fixing. This year, I had enough! I shaved my entire head for the first time since I was a little kid. This is the first time since I was a teenager that I got to see my natural hair texture. As my natural hair is growing out, I’ve learned to embrace my hair in it’s natural state. I let it shrink and won’t force my self to loosening it. I wash, condition, leave in conditioner and seal with oil. Thank you for teaching me to be gentle with my hair ❤!

D K: There are so many myths against kinky natural hair... A perm is easier to maintain, a wig is easier to maintain... When I look at the "healthy perm girls" routines, it seems pretty complicated, same thing when I look at wig tutorials... They often use as much products and time to style the wigs than what we do with natural hair.... Nothing against the perm and wigs girlies but I wish we stopped spreading the "it's easier to maintain than kinky hair" myth

crystal williams: I was so mad when I recently found out the perm box girls never had the product in their hair. I have 4b,c hair and all the chemical burns & nights of getting hit in the head with comb by my mama!

Player456: I was always told that I had difficult hair even after perking it. After I stopped and went natural I was shocked at how easy it is to work with my hair especially when I stopped treating it like a different hair type! I love my hair so much. Been natural since 2015!!! I stopped using too many things, just moisturizer and hair oil. I used to have like 20 products before 2020

Jackie Brown: This brain washing has made millions for "Them". Who else would use acid in their head in desperation to get their hair like the oppressor. We are waking up. Your hair is a crown. Love it. Please keep educating us.

Keturah Stephen: I'm honestly so glad my mom stopped perming our hair early on because it allowed our hair to recover by the time we were teenagers. Whereas my mother still had very damaged hair after decades of not perming. Thank you, love the video!!

T R: you know those commercials that be like “if you’ve ever suffered from xyz back in xyz then you’re entitled to compensation!” i feel like that’s all of us right now. it was all a lie! we need compensation no but seriously, i like the correlation to how the looser curl pattern girls were on the boxes and also the face of the natural hair movement (when they’ve always embraced their natural hair) they know damn well it didn’t start with them. I love my 4c hair now and anyone else that has 4c hair your hair is beautiful

Carli Marie: I wish I was surprised by this, but considering what we saw with representation during peak movement, it makes sense. The day we don’t compare and judge ourselves by a fake standard will be different for everyone.

Paloma: Type 4 hair is only high maintenance if we are trying to make it look like a well defined type 3. Any hair is high maintenance if you are trying to change the texture tbh. In the beginning I'd also use 20+ products and a year-round hair care routine until I realized my hair wouldn't expontaneously change because of products. The alternative was either focus on making it healthy or spend 4+ hours styling it after every shower. Now my routine consists in a gentle shampoo, a paraben-free conditioner, 3-day fermented rice water, a bit of leave-in to keep the shape, and an oil blend at night. It's still a lot comparing to more natural approaches, but it's been working for me for 3 years now and I have no plans to change.

Jaja Apples: Yes with 4c hair, if you don’t wear it people say you don’t love yourself. If you wear it, then they want to criticize your hair. You can’t win. Especially the fact that men and society don’t accept 4c hair on black women but that’s another conversation.

Nicole R: We were fooled!!!! I always wondered why my permed hair (back in the day) never looked like the girls hair on the box smh ‍♀️ #youliveandlearn

B P: Your video made me remember Malcolm X's great words about the psychological violence of the process of hair perming on Black Americans in his autobiography. Thanks for another great video !

Mew Mew: That's so fascinating! It's definitely super sad that these companies bold face lied to everyone. Perms hurt, my scalp was really burned by the one done on me as a kid. I hope people can learn to love their hair, although I understand wanting to fit in.

Tae Hyung123: I’ve BEEN telling my mom this ever since I found out at the age of 13 and she still didn’t listen. It’s almost like she WANTED me to burn off my edges. Now I’m starting my 1 year natural hair growth journey so I can prove to my mom and these aunties that you don’t need a “relaxer”

GAs honeybear: From reading the comments, I think I have a unique experience: My parents were extremely opposed to me getting a relaxer. I got "You should be proud of your hair! It is what makes you unique! There is no need to do anything to it." But I didn't want to be unique. At least not in the way where I stood out to where I would get bullied. And I did. All through school. I had relaxer thrown in my hair, my edges shaved off, wigs thrown on me and pictures taken... it was awful. When I went to college I got a relaxer so I could blend in and mind my business. My parents were disappointed. I did go back natural due to finances. I found out a few years after college I had a condition where I needed to take medication. One of the side effects was it made my hair softer. It didn't change my texture--I was still 4c--but this was the only time in my life where I could do just water and butter. I actually felt okay combing it and I could actually wear it like out like some other ladies. Once I timed out on that medication, it reverted back to its original state, where it responded to nothing and it felt super dehydrated no matter how much LCO/LOC I did or products I applied. I noticed later that when I tried to wear natural hairstyles, the people who complimented my hair were non black. I realized that throughout my life, the vitriol I got about my hair came from the black community. I was either the self hater when I had relaxers/weaves/wigs, the poser when I wore twists/braids/locs, or the busted one when I wore my own natural hair.

Jubei Kibagami Fez: I don't know if we're actually going backwards. I know, personally, I'm sick and tired of companies selling us shit instead of educating us on natural hair care. If they sellin somethin, they don't give a $&%! about us.

RadiantCactusDragon: I'm not black but I'm glad you're talking about relaxers. They are not good. They're ruining people's hair and scalp. Little girls get subjected to perm their hair. That's not okay. I'm glad you're talking about this and even better you're exposing the truth of the girls on the boxes of these relaxers.

S_Impeccable: It's unfortunate, the art of marketing is designed for people to continuously chase the unattainable. I remember when Fotki was the natural hair community platform and it was truly about meaningful engagement, encouraging one another, and sharing products that actually worked versus influencer culture.

Everything isPolitics: Another brilliant segment . Glad you covered this topic. It's important to mention/health the medical side effects of these chemical products. They include but not limited to: alopecia, fibroid, cancer etc. It's really disturbing that parents were exposing their children to these toxins, at such a young age (I was also a victim). As a collective, we need to continue loving on our beautiful features. We're perfectly created and adorned with so many beautiful attributes. These anti-Blk industries and beauty standards have been eating away at our collective self-esteem, for centuries. Enough is enough. We must continue to resist and stand in our power and magnificent natural beauty.

Naima Morgan: I'm so glad you put this video up. I was shocked that the perm girlies are all natural haired adults. My YouTube algorithm has been showing me girls getting perms again and I was starting to get weak and started considering that maybe I should try the creamy crack again,knowing that it destroys my hair. I'm nappy and proud and don't care if people are not used to seeing a 43 year old with plaits or shrinkage some days. We here get used to it.

AwesomeNess The Empress: I love how you always say we should embrace our 4c natural hair, especiallyour shinkage. My hair didn't start growing until I started wearing my hair in a fro and moisturizing every couple of days. Like you said, shrinkage is the sign of healthy natural hair. Plus, 4c hair is easy to take care of. People don't like it and just try to rip through it so they can get finished with it quickly.

Kaylah: Fun fact, I don’t think i ever would have gone natural and had my parents support me staying natural throughout high school if my dermatologist hadn’t let my mom know it was affecting my scalp and being very insistent about that fact. Sadly the whole side of my hair that wouldn’t grow past my ears was not enough for my parents (or me) to realize just how problematic it was for my hair and scalp health. Shoutout to that dermatologist, lord knows she saved me lol

Luvaje Noel: My mother started straightening my hair at a very young age my hair has been damage for years an wasn't growing past my shoulder it's not till I started educating myself about my hair type an learning history is when I started rocking my natural hair one of the best decision I've ever made.

DIVA: I would pay for your fashion look book if you created one. You just serve every single time with these outfits, makeup and hairstyles

One Girl One World: I've been waiting years for the texturism conversation to finally take off. I hope this video goes viral!

Nebula Mars: I want a commercial that says, "Have you ever been affected by perms/relaxers?" please call 1-800-PERMS and get compensated today. Because we all got perms to look like the girlies on the box. WE WERE SCAMMED!!!! Money lost, chemical burns, pain, tears, and my hair looked thin. THANK YOU!! The way you talked about texturism. A few years back, I got a "texturizer," and my hair fell out (my hair is natural and good again), and I should have known. The way the hairdresser talked seemed like she hated 4C+ hair.

deva190: I agree with you....natural hair in its shrunken state is healthy but I have yet to see anyone wearing it. When I do that with my hair, people frown as if it is unkept but I don't care. It's either that of plain ole fashioned plaits for me. I grew up in the 70s and never heard of "defining your curls" or 50,000 products to achieve a certain look. It was shampoo and grease for us.

Luci: I have fine natural hair so you can imagine what my hair looked like when chemical treated like that The natural movement hair was really bad for me as well because it told me I was doing something was wrong because my hair wasn't thick, long and unable to hold a curl. I'd follow the steps but that created curl wouldn't last. It was so liberating to leave that natural movement behind. I'm just doing whatever works for my hair.

Belle Vanille: I stopped relaxing my hair in 2006, when i was 16. Then been natural for about 15y. And now i have locs. I learned a lot and my hair journey made me realize how black beauty standard was affecting my self-esteem every day. My frustrations and despair were coming from the fact that I was expected, by fellow black folks - not white people, to look like someone who's biracial in order to be seen as beautiful. Rejecting black beauty standard was the key to love myself. Till this day, it is the best thing I've made.

Deneen Grant: This hit me in a deep place. I went natural 2 years ago after relaxing for over 30 years. I am still learning how to love my 4C afro textured hair.

Mulatta Locks: I was one who'd endure the burning as long as I could, thinking it'd get finer in the process and picking scabs for a few days just felt like par for the course. I kept looking for something stronger and more permanent and thought the Brazilian Blowout was it, but after one wash my hair still poofed up again, so I had to straight iron it on top of perming and it still didn't look fine cuz I never got the hang of the whole blowout thing before I did the big chop and then locd it. But I feel like the curl pattern system doesn't accurately represent how kinky your hair is. I have the same curl as someone white with fine hair, but their hair could never poof up like mine or have so much resistance to brushing or combing or need to be flat ironed before using a curling iron to get it to take. Not to mention, the person who came up with it felt that only 4C should get perms, so why support that!

Joey M.: SPOT ON. I’m 4c and could not figure out for the longest time why my hair wouldn’t look like 3c hair when I went natural years ago.

Princess: I have 4a natural hair and my mom forced me to get a relaxer when I was only 4 years old because my hair was “too thick”. Even though both my mom and I had 4a natural hair, her hair was seen as “ better “ because she had silkier finer hair while mines is kinkier and thicker. Unfortunately, it was normal back then to perm your child’s hair. I use to have damaged thin shoulder length hair when I had a relaxer until I finally did the big chop. It took years but I did my research and found out what products and what routine worked for me and now my hair is long. I had to unlearn the misconception that my hair is only pretty when it’s straight. I still wish that my mom never put a relaxer in my hair.

Dieezah Translator-Songwriter: Saw someone else talk about these girls a few days back. The takeway is that you can't assume anything regarding another black person's hair based on looks alone! I might have already said something to that effect in a previous comment on some other video of yours but this even proves it further. No one can tell if what we're looking at is that person's natural hair, permed hair, the result of a texturizer, a twist out, blow-drying... The folks who have things to sell will use our tendancy to make assumptions based on phenotype, colorism and what texture we expect someone to have based on the above to peddle their needless products. I was not surprised regarding some of these girls. Even a pro hairdresser confused my friend's virgin hair/natural hair for permed hair because it looked so slick and her phenotype made it believable to them. They almost ruined her hair that day, assuming she had permed hair when she didn't. We were 14. When I was perming my hair it was mostly to cut down on the painful untangling process, not for the silky straight look. After a shampoo, I would let my hair dry freely so it would go back to something close to my natural curl pattern when dry in spite of being permed...

Zakiya LeGrande Rodriguez: "Don't laugh at me, if you do, you are anti-black" Girl, you made me laugh so damn hard!! You are about the false advertisement on the perm box I have 3C hair from a family of 2B-3A women . Everyone used a fine tooth comb in the house until I showed up. I tried to have a relaxer like all of my friends. It was not happening!! My hair would crumble like Charlie Brown's ratchet Christmas . I choose color and natural hair!! I have AMAZING, GLORIOUS sister locks. I am happily nappy!! I feel you sister. I'm the aunt of several nieces with darker skin & 4C hair. The ones who embrace their hair and what is does have the best hair!! The ones who fight their hair texture don't look nearly as nice.

Niemah Ra: I’ve never had a kiddie perm. My aunt first relaxed my hair with a TCB. That was after the previous year putting a curl in it. The curl made my hair break off. I never wanted any chemical processes because I really like my natural hair as a child. After she started perming it I just obeyed and kept doing it for many years. I was 41 when I finally like returned to myself and stopped perming it. That was 30 years of chemical processing just because I was trained as a child and went into autopilot. All I know is once I cut that perm out my hair it was like a weight was lifted. I saw my natural hair and smiled even though it was on about three inches. I don’t miss straight hair. I adore my hair.

Adele Nadine: Thank you! At this point I am just focusing on getting my 4z hair healthy and getting to really know my hair. Rather than try and make it do things it cannot do. I am seriously considering locs in the future, but I'm open to whatever works for my hair.

LAtttiful: Honestly not surprised since my cousin was on the male box for waves. He never used any creams and bullshit to get his waves. But thats what the boxes make you think that what the models did, but in reality its just a idealistic result. "Results may vary" as many companies like to say.

seleciaa: I feel you so much on the expectations vs reality with perming 4c hair. I experienced the same thing. So glad I started locs.

Na_lady Liz: I dream of the day we stop dictating what black women should do with their hair and just let them be. No one is bashing white women for dying their hair, because it's just as equally damaging. They just live and do what they want...what a dream.

The Life of Cann: I believe that 4c hair is hard to manage when you pull tug and manipulate it to do something it’s not supposed to do to mimic a looser hair texture (braid outs, twist out, perm rod sets all that non sense) I agree with wearing it in it’s true shrunken form. In that state, the hair thrives. Like you said, you literally just need water and shea butter to maneuver through the hair.

Ms. Williams: I've been natural since October 2000 and it was the best thing I ever did for my 4c kinks! But I would be lying if I said that 4C hair isn't harder to manage that looser hair types. That is why I do not wear my hair out. Just individuals or crotchet braids.

No, This Is Patrick: Thank you for this video. Im enjoying the few conversations coming around the perm box girls not having perms. And you brought up smth I haven’t seen yet talked about (in the videos I’ve seen this far) that all these girls had looser silky textures. We were fcked from the beginning. And you’re right against that these silky loose textures also became faces of natural hair. And again kinky haired girls were shamed for something we can’t fix and told to buy a billion products and become product junkies. I dont mind the idea of perms “coming back”, cause you can’t stop ppl, and i can only hope they’re doing it safer than when i was a child (my hair actually looked good permed and had that silky texture, but i guess cause my mom never based my scalp with vaseline or smth it hurt more than it should’ve and I believe my edges are still weak because of this today). I just feel bad for people all around, cause i know that some people aren’t going back just because they like the look (tho I believe there are some that are and they’re cool) but some of them are going back cause they were sold lies about products and were told false narratives about the effort kinky hair needed. And its sad how we’re put in this endless circle of struggle.

Leslie E Martinez: I have 3b hair and even I wanted my hair to look like those girls on the boxes and was confused to why my hair didn’t look like that.

fallenwings25: I've been following 'I am black girl curls' and they've helped me so much with taking care of my hair. I have tightly coily hair ❤️❤️❤️ They've helped me kick my product junkie ways cause I have things that work for me every time now. They've also helped with shortening wash day.

IS WHAT IT IS: I remember these when my sister wanted these badly because her friends were all doing these perms, trying to get results as on those pictures, but our mother never allowed it. Kept saying how perm is no good and that this whole thing looks like a huge bull because hair doesn't work that way. Seeing all this unfold, guess mama was right all along.

Vanessa Chino: I went back to perms because I am a busy working mom and I was tired of using 100 products on my hair. Because of the toxins in perms and the risk they provide to our health … I’m gonna try natural again but this time with low stress braids or twist. Very informative video. Your perspective is refreshing

Lesego D: A few weeks ago I found myself thinking, “Lord there’s no way my life must be soooo consumed with attending to my hair and for me to never get to enjoy wearing it out or whatnot” It’s not natural to have a regimen consume our lives so much. 4c hair doesn’t have to be this difficult mountain bear you wrestle with. We just need to be honest and realise that we were trying to force her to be who she’s not. Or at least I was.

Pitched Black: I too used to hate combing or getting my hair combed... Often times even our parents didn't have super kinky-coily hair, so man having my hair man handle created a disdain for getting my hair comb. I loved having my grandma do my hair. I don't know how many of you remember the routine of your grandma telling you it was time to get your hair combed or washed (I'm almost 60) and each cousin would sit and take their braids or plats a loose on wash day, use the spray bottle of warm water and vinegar mixture to pre-poo to loosen the dirt before our turn for washing. Our grandma used a chair up to the kitchen sink. If we were small, she propped her foot in the chair, sit the child on her knee facing away from the sink, and fold the child back so the hair was under the water. For the older child, we were on our knees, on the chair with our hair under the running water. After she was done, she would wrap our wet hair in a towel, assist us to our feet, send us on our way in order to make room for the next child. We mostly wore plats as very small children, box braids as older children, and no ponytails unless it was a special occasion. Cornrows were only for pre-teens and older who were learning to do their own hair or someone else's for pay. On braid day we would again take our own hair a loose, get the comb, brush, hair grease (to grease our own scalp prior to getting it comb (regreased, brushed, and styled)), and we each had to get a mason jar of warm water to dip the soft brush in to tame our edges as my grandmother used to call it. Then when our turn was up, we would put everything on the table, as my grandmother would wipe her hands on her apron from the last head she did. She would take a squig of her Diet Rite Cola, tap her lap, and that was the signal for us to find our place on floor between her legs to get our hair combed. When she needed to get to the back or side of or heads, to keep us from suiting in one place for so long, she have us turn left or right, and on our knees facing her with our forehead on her knees to do the top back. Just typing this, reminds me of the natural no product days... Wow! Thank you for this topic which allowed me to really reflect on my childhood. Great and yet simple times I forgot.... Today, I wear sister/ micro locs... I love my kinky-coily hair and would never trade it for anything. I don't sleep with anything on it... simply a satin pillowcase and prop it all to the top of my head before going to sleep. Like your hair ( which I totally adore), my hair is big on top... Looking more like a mane because I don't tie it down... Not at all... So... If you can, imagine this 6' tall woman walking around with what looks like a mid back length lion's mane... I love my 4cv

jrny 2mh: OMG! Talking about 'waiting to exhale'! Wishing I could get all that time and money back from all those products I used in vain! I swear I used to think the same thing, that the models on the perm box's hair couldn't possibly be 4C! Thanks for sharing and exposing the lies!

The Hardest Pill: Gotten perms so much the burning became numb, the more years went by the shorter my hair gotten I started at 5 stopped around 15 now I'm 24 natural gonna start my loc journey

Makaela M: GIIIIIRL 100%!!! I swear, I thought I had thin hair, always had short edges until I went natural and after that got locs… MY HAIR IS SO THICK OMG.

vallendior: I’m a 4c natural and I stopped putting chemicals in my hair in my early 20’s but I neglected my hair for years because I just didn’t want to be bothered with it since I had been raised on perms and had no idea how to properly care for it. Once I moved abroad about 8 years ago, I really started allowing my hair to teach me how to care for her. I have fine, low porosity, medium density hair so it’s very prone to tangles, dryness and single strand knots. I consumed so much hair care content that I tried. Most of it didn’t work. My goal was high density healthy hair but it wasn’t until I stopped listening to all the natural hair advice on the internet and instead began following my intuition that I started seeing results. I still consume hair content on occasion or read articles n stuff but I finally learned to take what resonates n leave the rest. Now my hair is the healthiest it’s ever been. It’s manageable and I keep my hair care routine very simple. My hair is nearly bra strap length and I still can’t believe it’s this long and healthy. But it took a lot of work and time to figure it all out. It’s a very personal journey and I think that’s where the natural hair movement and community missed the mark. It could have been about embracing our hair and allowing everyone to find her own way free from judgement. However, it was mostly about taming 4c hair without chemicals but still very much about making 4c hair something that it’s not often in a violent way, as opposed to embracing it for its own unique beauty. It’s like u said, the gentle love we put into our hair allows for healthy hair and i agree that it’s certainly a metaphor for life. Thanks for all the amazing content! xx

All Dai: THANK YOU! ✨ I have 4c hair and it was messed up finding out those girls didn't even have relaxers and have the hair type that was the face of the natural hair community! ‍ I got my first relaxer in 2003 at 12 years old. I stopped relaxing my hair in 2013 just to fall into two-strand twisting/flat twisting my hair every other night until 2021! It took me that long to realize I was trying to keep my hair stretched for the same reason I asked for a relaxer as a child. Now I have locs after realizing this is more aligned with what my hair would naturally do if I left it alone. ✨ Something you said about 13 minutes in that I agree with (and I'm paraphrasing)... There's something psychologically warped about normalizing the pain that came with relaxing your hair... Absolutely. I hate that I went through all the chemical burns trying to attain something that wasn't realistic for me.

A P: 5:33 YES! THIS! I went through product after product, routine after routine and couldn't figure out why my hair wasn't growing and my scalp was always scaly and inflamed. Eventually I figured out all I needed was oil and water. And a Denman brush. That's it.

Musa Moshe: I didn’t even know my hair was so thick until I left it the hell alone. It stays shrunken and I have zero stress since I decided to live and let my hair be.

Catalina Beatriz: thank you so much for your voice- the tenderness and care for our own version of natural hair, allowing us to love and discover the way our hair wants to express itself in its multiple forms…. I relate so much to your experience, and your analysis helps me continue to deconstruct so much texturism ingrained in some of my ways of thinking. Even though I’m not black nor from north america, as a latina my curly hair was also very much fetishized and simultaneously erased from the beauty canons…. not much of a culture of how to take care of it, but the violence my own aunties would inflict on themselves to “tame” their “unruly” hair, and that was then passed on to me. Watching your channel and other BIPOC who speak up about the racism of the beauty industry has helped me A LOT in these past years- so THANKS!!! gracias!! chaltu may ❣️keep on shining your beautiful world gurl

Maki: 0:21 This box always pissed me off because I knew good and well that it was the natural hair texture of the little girls and that they didn’t achieve hair like that through a damn texturized!

Gigi Armany: EXACTLY but that has always been the very nature of advertising & product selling, models are cast for months & professionally made up & worked over by huge teams of stylists & fotografed & fotoshopped then sold to the masses as the results of using a product the models never even heard of sometimes..it's a KNOWN fact & not even disguised or hidden by the industry but everybody still seems to fall for it..I Just dont understand, especially after all the reality shows & model casting shows( ANTM etc .) have exposed how things get marketed etc..

Ocean Lover: New subscriber here. This was beautiful! I think that a lot of us tend to believe that our hair is so difficult to manage because we lack understanding about our hair and what it needs from us. A great book to help teach the basics of natural hair care is “Where Beauty Touches Me” by Pamela Ferrell. It’s not only okay to honor our beautiful spirals; it is beautifully divine, truly.

buttrpecan9: I don’t miss getting my hair relaxed. I was so used to getting chemical burns around the kitchen cause I was wanting that bone straight. I got so tired of the neutralizing tiny shampoos and had to keep washing until the pink shampoo turned white!!!!

crab rangoonz: Mayowa you've really put to words what my heart has been saying about the 4C journey so damn well. Growing up my mom nourished and adored my hair to the point where i was literally in tears when my dad forced me to get a perm at 10. my mom didn't even allow me to get extensions until i was in highschool, lmaooo. like i grew up loving my kinks and coils while defending myself from looser textured peers/kids with perms and i WAS READY FOR IT!!! it wasn't until the natural hair movement came about that i started questioning the texture of my hair and what it mean to be "natural". somewhere along the way i to began to attribute "natural" with 3c/4a hair and fell down the braid out/twist out/product junkie rabbit hole and just got sort of disillusioned with my hair. it was only through watching your videos that i realized how far i let myself get gaslit by the natural hair community. its been 2 months since i've said eff it to the box braids, extensions, twists out and all that and my hair has been FLOURISHING. and im starting to feel like myself again too. so yeah, many MANY thanks mayowa <3 <3 <3

Neoagegirl The Maverick: Loved the part about how the natural hair movement should of focused on loving our hair in its TRULY NATURAL state which is shrunken! Our hair NEEDS moisture aka water. So by applying water consistently with a sealant, that is when our hair is in its natural state and with proper maintenance should be healthiest. Anything else is altering/manipulation and technically isn’t its natural state but I know I like to style my hair in many different ways so I’m not going to bash anyone but I think people need to understand what being “natural” really means as black people. If you don’t want to wear your hair out in it’s shrunken state after it’s been moisturized then you are not really wanting to be truly natural. And that is okay, just recognize where you are and what you want. I personally love my hair being manipulated into twists (with and without extensions) with homemade flaxseed gel. My hair isn’t relaxed/permed, or heat treated but it’s not truly natural either, I have mechanically altered it to fit my style preference.

Jessica: As soon as I stopped the million and one steps, my hair became healthier.

N3wd8 N3wd8: very true. I could say so much. Black/African people just need to hear this ❤❤❤❤ yourself. The marketing definitely plays /played a role in what people (mostly women) have felt about wearing natural hair. Whatever we do, it should be because it works best for us not because we are chasing a "look". I too was shocked when my hair did not bounce and look managable like the youtubers lol. But I found what works for me and I'm happy with my natural style. The only thing I need for my hair is shampoo & hair oil. No overly priced products here. SN: My hair never recovered in some spots from having perms when I was younger. Hate them! always did!

S.n.q quick: thanks for bringing this up! I couldn't really use relaxers as a kid cause I had eczema on my scalp. so when my mother use it would physically burn me. i was actually the reason my mother decided to go natural with (along with my sis) a bit before the natural hair movement. when u learn the numerous hairstyles we can rock theres no reason to go the relax route unless u want ur hair straight for a bit. but even then there r still alternatives. u know what tripped me up was when I was in high school i was happy seeing all the natural girls in my gym class i saw girls like me. until they came to me and asked if i was wearing a wig. i was confused cause it didnt make sense for them to ask me until i realized they were all wearing wigs. It was trippy and slightly sad. my hair was long because i was natural for a long time and (thanks to my mom's help of learning how to properly work with my hair). it was literally just twists and taking them a loose that got my hair to that state. i feel Black people both men, women, non binary, etc etc dont be exploring the potential of what our hair can do. when i love at what our ancestors and elders both in the diaspora and in the Continent have done with hair I feel like we be lacking in the hair arena

Carina Elizabeth Paul: I remember looking at those boxes and as a person who gets perms. No way does the hair stay thick and healthy looking like the girls on the box. I'm currently dealing with an inch of hair due to perm damage I guess it was on too long or not washed out properly but my hair just fried and broke off.

Luvaje Noel: I love your hair I'm also doing my freeform locs as well an I've come so far in learning to love my hair an seeing your hair just makes me love locs even more an respect other locs as well.

Niesha Thomas: I let go of perms in 2009. I'll do anything but perm my hair. I'm currently on my second set of locs with your 4 hair. I only use aloe vera gel to retwist and oil and water every few days. I love how diverse our hair is. Your hair is thick and gorgeous. I hate that we think hair that's "done" is supposed to look a certain way.

S.n.q quick: another things : I wanted to give this it's own comment. Doing Black hair has always been a COMMUNAL thing. I feel like folks r struggling because we r now doing everything by ourselves instead together like we've done in the past.

Phoenix_Fya999: I just cut my 5th set of locs. I’m regrowing my 6th set free form. I’m a loctician in Atlanta. I just had to stop by & say your locs are an inspiration! You are absolutely stunning! Great review! The perm box deception!

AJ2ThaMaxx: So, I’m natural and have been for 10 years. When I tell you it’s wild that not only did I start perms at the age of 4, I was getting braids and crochets on top of it. Like what the actual hell is going on, obviously, my people didn’t want me to have no hair . Thankfully I stopped relaxing and straightening my hair. I’m at the point in my life where I can start locs and I’m excited to start that journey. Big ups to you on your vulnerability and content

libfuzzy: Also" 4c" hair can definitely be silkpressed by a bomb stylist and it look just as good. And to care for all hair including "4c" hair all you need to do is shampoo, condition and style with either a mousse or botanical gel. Don't put butter and raw oils on it it stops the hair from absorbing water and being hydrated.

Antoinette Chanel: I big chopped in September after not doing relaxers for almost a year. I’m learning my curl pattern and love how I look with this afro and I will not be going back!

Libby Lib: Regardless to how hard it might be, I am NEVER going back to perming my hair and all that chemical. Just naahh!!

Desirée Martínez: Them not being permed is wild to me. Like the people selling this KNEW that perms were not useful or necessary to anyone!!

Don’tworry Benappy: You’re so right about the abundance of products that they said we needed. Now all I use is a moisturizer and blue magic grease.

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