5 Things Secretly Running Black Women'S Lives And How To Drop Them

Hey: hey: hey, hey good morning, hi good morning, all right, so we have to talk about why i have this background and not a background that shows you that i'm in costa rica, why am i in delaware, with my regular instead of in costa rica, but we'll Talk about that later today, what we're going to talk about is the five things that i think are running black women's lives secretly right: five things that are secretly in charge and uh what we can do about it. How do we change that? Stop it drop it. Uh, i'm gon na tell you the five things right away right. I think our hair, i think our weight don't get nervous all right. There'S not gon na be a bashing fat, women, uh, video, okay, i think uh our concern with other people's concern. Other people's opinions are running our lives. You know, i think our jobs are running our lives i put secretly, but that ain't even secretly we're gon na talk about some religious doctrine. I don't have the range to cover that subject really thoroughly, but we'll talk about it. In the chat, okay, these are the things that i think are running black women's lives, uh that we can change. We can stop it, we can change it, we can fix it if we want. I want hello good morning if you're new here welcome. My name is stephanie perry, i'm a house sitter, i'm the creator of house sitter school, i'm the co-creator of exodus summit and i help black women take a sabbatical from work. I help black women move abroad. I help black women bop around as a digital, nomad, nomad and embrace ease, and all of these things, if that sounds good to you, make sure that you subscribe to my youtube channel hit the subscribe button. Please and turn on notifications ring that notification bell so that you'll be notified when i post a new video or when i go live with my friends. Welcome. Okay, welcome! I need water okay good morning. Welcome! Hey thanks! Anita! Thank you, girl, i'm in delaware, uh, but it's fall, not it like we're having fall winter weather right now, which i appreciate thanks: delaware, uh! Thank you! So much all right, hey, simmy! Okay, wait! Wait! Where are we at okay? Hey sami thanks for dana yeah so because i usually don't do fall all that much. I don't get to wear fall colors, so i'm wearing fall colors. Today, hello anita good morning, tasha good morning, southern rose tia d good morning, camille, hey professor lch good morning, y'all good morning, the 13th goddess, yes, uh-huh, hey alexis we're going to get right to it. Okay, we're going to get right to it. Uh good morning, missy tv good morning, zana, hey from costa rica, all right so i'll tell y'all real quick, i'm not in costa rica, because i was exposed to covet and i couldn't get on my flight. Okay, i was supposed to fly to costa rica yesterday. Couldn'T get on my flight, and so i'm here i'll still i'll be here. I pushed everything back a full month until after exodus summit, i host exodus summit, which is a sabbatical summit and move abroad summit for black women. This year's theme is move abroad money this year, we're helping black women get the money they need to move abroad. Our goal is 5 000 black women. Our goal is to have 5 000 black women come to exodus summit 2022 and learn how to make move abroad. Money right or uh, sabbatical money or bop around digital, nomad money or just retire, now: money, okay and i'm working on exodus summit, and so it's really for the best that i'm here. So i'm still here all right. Good morning, vitamin q good morning, terry good morning, thanks sasha all right. Thank you very much that was down to hello, selena, hey guys, all right, so hey crystal hey guys, alright! So so this is. These are the things that i think have been holding us back. I just posted a little uh thing in my community tab here on youtube. Just yesterday, maybe the day before, who knows what day it is? Okay, i think it might have been just yesterday. I posted something in the community tab here on youtube and there was a question: what do you do about your hair? How do you travel or move abroad with your hair right, which is a question black women have right? That'S a question. Black women have it's one of the first priorities when we start to talk about changes and doing things, but my hair right, i don't i'm used to that question. I understand the basis of the question. I don't insult black women who have that question. This is one of the things we have to consider when we start talking about things doing things making changes uh that, but what that means is that our hair is running our lives. It means that your hair is the boss of you seriously. If your hair is that first concern or second or third, your hair is the boss of you. Okay, i want to talk about that for just a little bit. We got five things to get through, but you, our hair, being the boss of us, is not a new conversation. I don't think i don't think anybody is surprised to hear that talk, but i do think that we can take things from a new perspective today. In 2022 that we didn't necessarily have a couple of years ago right because the natural hair there was a natural hair movement that was supposed to free us from that concern, free us from the shackles of our hair, and it didn't do it. It just placed new shackles on us right. I just watched um hi, i'm danielle. I do too much star puppy. I just watched star puppy's video uh talking about, should she leave the natural hair community uh the natural hair movement, which i think started popped up. So, mr coral, who is one who is the woman who wrote the book, that is the uh that birthed the natural hair movement right, sometimes she's here in the chat good morning. She lives in europe uh, but sometimes she's. Here in the chat right, she wrote a book on hair for black women that birthed the natural hair movement on youtube. All of those natural hair youtubers discussed her book as being a source of information for them right, and i think that was around 2009. Maybe a little earlier right and that movement was supposed to give us freedom, freedom, right, hair freedom. I had a college professor one time who was like i don't know if he said it or if he was quoting someone else. He said when black women come to terms with their hair. They can run the world right, but until well, but right now the hair runs them right. Right now our hair runs us um, but the natural hair movement was supposed to give us freedom from um. The like prison, the bondage of having to do certain things to our hair, but really the natural hair movement really just gave us new shackles. It just told us, okay, so all right, so you're, not relaxing your hair, but you ha here here are the things you have to do your hair, your curls must always look defined right. You must always, if you have a certain hair type, you must always be rocking a twist out or a braid out or a bantu knot out. Never just your hair doing what it do. You don't have the type of hair that should be seen in public doing what it do. Your hair must be must fit into these parameters in order for you to be truly natural, otherwise you're going to need to do some stuff to your hair right. That'S really! What the natural hair movement did to us. It really just gave us new parameters. It didn't free us, the natural hair movement, as i know it right. It really just said here are ways that you can mock hair of uh type. Three women. Here'S here are ways that you can pretend to have type three hair right and then, let's slick down your edges, even though your hair is telling you it does not want to be slicked down, your hair is growing up. We'Re going to slick it down. Okay, here are ways that we can pretend to have 3b 3c hair. Let'S do some twist outs right, that'll, look very type 3ish. Let'S do you know all that is what the natural hair movement did uh. So we've we're seeing a new, no hair movement. I don't know that this movement has been called a name, but there is a new, no hair movement for black women. They out here thriving they out here, living with no hair right, yes, yeah. I think i don't yeah. This is what happened right as a person who probably was the first person in my friend group to stop relaxing her hair right 2009 right. This is what these were. This was the message i got with this hair right. That was the message. I got right. Okay, you don't relax your hair, but let's pretend that you have a different type of hair than you do. Okay, your hair actually should not be out in the world that was the messaging. Your hair, as it is, should not be out in the world. Let'S spend hours and hours a week trying to emulate a different hair type. Let'S do that uh. It didn't take me long to drop that i'ma tell you it did not take as a person who does as little as possible. It didn't take me very long to drop that, but some of you are still struggling with this. We talked about it a couple months ago and i'm sorry i don't remember which video, but we talked about it a couple of months ago, um about the struggle of natural hair and somebody in the chat says she just hates it. She hates it. Well, you don't have to do it that way right! You don't have to do it that way. I think one of the least talked about things that women can do if you want to have natural hair, if you don't want to straighten or relax your hair use products that make things easier for you use silicones silicone gives that slip. Silicon conditioners with silicone. They have it for a reason, because it makes it so much easier to comb your hair if you need to detangle your hair. When i go for months and months, which i do i go for months and months without detangling, my hair, i think the last time i detangled my hair was right before cancun, which was july the end of june. I put my hair in some twists. The end of june, that's the last time i detangled it. I'Ve washed it and just let it go since then um. This is the zero. This is like hour, zero of me, washing my hair and just letting it go right as time condenses as time passes it. It tightens up and changes shape a little bit and yeah. It gets a lot tighter, but this is like the very beginning stage uh. This is what i've been doing since since since july, right since july, but when it's time for me to detangle my hair, please believe i'm putting some silicone in this bad boy, i'm getting out them strong conditioners, i'm not doing it with those silicone free, uh sulfate. I think sulfate is in the shampoo i'm not using. I can't use no silicone free conditioner to detangle this, not if i want to get it done in a reasonable amount of time, because even in a reasonable amount of time for me, i'm breaking up over two days like even even with silicone, i'm gon na take Two days to do it: okay, my arms - i don't want to do all of this right. So yes get it. If you want to uh, make things easier on yourself, make things easier on yourself, you don't have to qualify, you don't have to check anybody's boxes. I don't think, there's anybody going around saying: do you qualify as a natural or is your hair actually natural? I don't think anybody's doing that if they do, who cares their opinion? Doesn'T matter the today we're talking about the things that are running black women's lives secretly right, we're gon na expose some secrets and we're gon na stop we're gon na address these secrets. I think that the natural hair community has been running our lives too long because they did it wrong. They got it wrong in the first place. Right if they had said your hair as it is, is a gift wear it that would have been freeing, but that wasn't the messaging okay, so yeah all right, all right! Okay, i see y'all in the chat, but y'all made me quiet the notifications, so i haven't been paying attention. Let'S see, it's called ease, anita, that's right! Anita said it's called ease, but i can't click on it because you move too fast right. Yes, they call me corp diva, oh good, lord, so this i got a new computer. This is new computer week, and so everything i have to reset everything so ecamm live is not already ready. Already. Okay, i cut my hair into a very short afro. Many years ago, when i was a freshman in college and in marching band a relaxer wouldn't hold, i was the only black woman rocking that style on campus. I loved it yeah right. We have to decide what is going to give us ease in our hair right because you can fight. You can fight your hair. If you want some people, some of us are still doing it. You can fight your hair, you could do you could spend hours and hours of your week fighting your hair to make it do something. It'S telling you it don't want to. Do it don't want to do that. It don't want to do it. My edges don't want to lay down your edges, some of y'all y'all. I just don't want to lay down you're spending, all this time and money on products to do stuff that your hair is telling you it don't want to do. Could we instead focus on? How do i embrace what i do have and what i do want to do, yeah all right. It'S called e there. You are okay, that's where i was. I don't know how to fix this thing. I'M gon na have to work on it. Another time hi monique, michelle natural hair can be easy to maintain it's about saving money. For me. Yes, i love my natural hair. I just keep my hair cut short, yes yeah. I went live on instagram this week and you know how i have beef with hairdressers. Lately, the hairdresser, the price of hairdressers have just the price and the demands the hairdressers put on their clients have just skyrocketed, so i can't see turning back, i can't see turning back to doing things to my hair. That would require me to go to a hairdresser right. I know how to throw some shampoo and conditioner in my hair and some olive oil or whatever oil i have at the time i can't imagine going back to having to have a hairdresser. Now i did have a woman come and twist my hair, but i even i even that i had to detangle it ahead of time she came and did some twists. She did a little style for me probably a year ago, which was wonderful, a wonderful, wonderful experience. I got to sit in my chair with my phone in my hand, doing nonsense while she put work into my hair, but i can't imagine going back to hair that would require a hairdresser for the cost and for the demands that hairdressers have started. Putting on clients like pay, a deposit like pay 10 times, what relaxers, what what a hair well not 10 times, but like five times, what a hair point we used to cost. They have five x, the prices of hair appointments, right, shelly bass me and my twa became friends when i started going to the barber shop. Yes, a good cut and oil is working for my 4z hair. Yes, that's right right ease, it is really about ease. Hair is one of the um ways that we're adding strain and stress and struggle into our lives that i don't think we have to. I don't think we have to so. If ease is the thing that you're starting to look at if you're starting to look around at your life and look at ways that you can embrace ease, maybe you started bringing in a housekeeper once a week or twice a month or whatever. Maybe you started getting your groceries delivered. We'Ve talked about this. Maybe you've started uh uh do other things getting your laundry taking it. Taking your laundry or having somebody pick up your laundry right. Maybe hair is the next frontier. Maybe your hair is the next frontier. Yes, sonia, yes, sonya did a big top in july. Yes, she did looking good. We were when i saw sonia at the uh in cancun at the meet and greet we were like yes, tony braxton. Yes, that's looking good i've been doing wash and go since i big chopped in july. Yes right yeah, so i think the natural hair movement that said yes to to not relaxing your hair, but no to the actual natural hair right. I think if we mislabeled it, it was the no relaxer movement. It wasn't actually the natural hair movement. So how do you find ease in your hair figure out? You do what works for you, okay, do what works for you, shanna braids are my go-to. I get a deep condition and trim in between the hard part is finding someone who does natural hair. That'S not locks. Yeah yeah people don't want to do it. Stylists don't want to do it uh because they don't they want to do if they yeah they won't. Yes, it is hard to find someone a natural hair, special person, natural hair specialist, who is really into doing natural hair right, yeah yeah. So if you don't like doing it, pay pam color, i just hate doing my hair. If you don't like doing it, what are the options right? What are the options, someone else doing it uh-huh finding products and stuff that make it easier if you, if, if the problem is just the process right, are there products that make it easy? I'M telling you i use silicones and whatever's in my conditioner. Yes indeed. Yes, i do right finding products and like tools to make things easier. Is the answer no hair yeah, it could be yeah. Is the answer uh like you, just go into the shop and somebody braids your hair down and you wear wigs and and wraps and scarves and stuff all the time? That'S fine right! That'S an answer! That'S an answer right and then tony i saw tony's um hi. Tony comment in here about, i think it was tony. Let me type in the word great yeah tony is rise up in bloom and tony said. We don't even talk about gray, natural hair right, that's another struggle! Right now she says i've been breathing embraced. My gray. Now proud of my silver crown yeah, that's another struggle right. This is this is where i'm not yet i'm not there. Yet i'm using any method, i can to try to figure out how to not have gray hair, except for i do keep the gray hair because i'm distinguished, i have chosen to keep this part gray. But yes, i dye my hair right. I this is about uh. Just the look of aging right, i'm not above i'm not saying that, i'm above all these things all these outside influences. I am not ready to look my age right, i'm not so i'm not ready to to go gray. I don't think well, i know i'm not ready, i no, i know i'm not ready right. We have. We all have things that we add into our life. That makes things harder for ourselves. For me, one of those things is not being willing to have gray hair right. It'S just making things harder on myself. I have to diet and i have to figure out well, i'm not like. We said i'm not going to a hairdresser to diet, but we don't even gray hair something we don't even talk about like. Let'S pretend like our hair doesn't even go gray. It goes gray. If you stay alive long enough, your hair will go gray, yeah, alright, so hair, i think, running our lives. Anybody here made a life decision based on their hair that you want to share with us. I told y'all when i um, i joined the army to live in germany, but then i got stationed in texas, but then, when i got out of the army, i found a u.s military post, hiring pharmacy technicians in germany, and my first question was: how am i Going to get my hair done back, then i was had a relaxer right. First thing i did was google and search for black hair stylist near that military post in germany before i applied for the job before i applied for the job i checked to make sure there were black hair. There was at least one black hair stylist there and i still follow her on instagram. It'S like the drop or the drip, or something like that very retro. Looking logo yeah right, my hair was running my life. My hair was in charge of my life decisions yeah. So and i don't know that it's super secret right - i don't know i've titled this video five things that are secretly running our hair running our lives, but i don't know how secret that is because one time i was at work and my work, neighbor was a White dude and i said, he's we're talking about something and i said yeah i want to swim, but i don't want to get my hair wet. He said, oh, the black woman's dream and i was like how does he even know that he's just a regular white dude in his early 20s? How does he know that? That'S that's our dream. I want to go swimming, but i don't want to get my hair wet right. Even he knew that. So i don't know. Maybe it's not a secret good morning, patrick patty patty ogie. I think you point to a big question. Why are we changing it? Because we love ourselves or because we hate that part of ourselves yeah, we that's, that's always the question right, why? Why is this a struggle for me? Why am i embracing something or not embracing something? Why am i rejecting something? Why am i not considering something right? Is it because, and if you, if you anyone who hates a part of themselves, it doesn't come from the inside, i don't think that comes from the outside right. Does it come from the outside and where, in particular, where does that come from and do i need to shut that off? Do i need to shut it off right, rashida went live yesterday on her instagram and she used the filter and she was at the sun. Was in her face - and she looked amazing - she's she's super pretty anyway, but the she used the filter and i thought to myself. I can't i am a person who cannot use filters because i don't know that i would be able to then not chase that look for myself all the time in real life, because filters aren't real right and i would be a person who would always be chasing That look and never feel satisfied with how i look without a filter and then have surgeries y'all know, because you know i don't mind doing stuff to myself. I don't mind doing stuff. I already have these two teeth are veneers right. I don't mind doing stuff to myself um, so i don't know that i would be able to see myself with a filter on a like some, nor regularly somewhat regularly like some people who do live streams and always have a filter on. I don't know that i would be able to turn that filter off and look in a mirror or look at a picture and be okay with me right. These things do things to your brain, the mess there's there's constant messaging out there that we're not good enough. That'S how it drives the economy right, it drives the entire economy, i'm not saying anything profound right. This is not a groundbreaking topic, but i don't want. I there are things that i know i can't do and there are other things i know i can do that are not going to get into my mind right, they're not going to mess with my psyche. For example, if i were to go get my hair straightened, i know that's not gon na take hold in my psyche and tell me that this is how my hair should be, because i'm not doing all that work. I'M not gon na do all the work it takes to keep straight hair right so straighten my straightening. My hair, i think, would do no damage to me right, starting if i decided i was gon na, find a hairdresser and start straightening, my hair, i don't think it would be take a permanent do any permanent damage to me. I think filters would for me. I think they would. The only time you see me use a filter is when i use that, like i don't know, it's like a laser turned you into like a robot. I love that filter. I love it. I feel like stephanie from the future other than that. I don't know because i already nitpick things about my appearance as a person who thinks i'm beautiful right as a person who really i really do. I don't have uh, i don't have low self-esteem, but i do have individual things that i'll pick out about myself and that i i think i would go overboard in trying to correct if i let the filters run, run right, run wild in my brain, because our Brain just keeps repeating messaging, we get messaging. It'S that's why it's important to take pay attention to what you're listening to and what you're paying attention to, because it doesn't just go through. It doesn't pass through it stays and it plays on repeat over and over and over some stuff. I don't think i have the ability to withstand some stuff. I don't think i have no already knowing myself some stuff. I don't think i have the ability to to fight yeah, okay, teresa richardson, i still pressed my hair one time it took three hours, that's how i know that. There'S no danger in me going to one my in me wanting my hair straight. All the time no danger, i'm not going through all that, i'm not going through all that in a on a regular basis. So if you do see me with straight hair, sometimes no it's not because i'm like trying to do it all the time. I no! No indeed, i'm not going through all that the time the effort, the money indeed kathy, says in a few weeks i'll be rocking locks all right. This is just another level. Is this? Is another level i'm taking it just want to change it up a bit? I'M excited about this change. That'S very exciting kathy! Yes, yes, one of so we have amazing hair. We have amazing hair, it's wonderful to explore the options that our hair gives us. Do it do it? I love it. I'M excited to see this too kathy yeah. We have amazing hair utilize that we have a an advantage. We can do things that other people can't do, there's pretty there's nothing. We can't do to our hair right. Yes, comfort says it really is about minding my own business. It'S not harming anybody. Yeah yeah! We that's right, that's right! We do what's best for us, so the next point, the next thing i'm going to skip, wait and go on over to the next thing. The next thing that i think is secretly running our lives is our concern about other people's opinions. Um, when you mind your business, i think there's a natural inclination to be less concerned about other people not minding theirs. I think right when you mind your business you're less concerned. Let me say this: the right way when you, when you're minding your business, i think you're naturally going to be less concerned about other people's opinions of you right. If you become a little less judgmental of other people, i think it helps you. Let listen less to other people's judgments. Am i saying this right? I really believe that i've seen that in my life right once i decide that i'm not gon na have an opinion on other people's things, i'm gon na. Let them do what they do. My dad! That'S my dad's like life's motto: they can do what they want once once i started embracing the they can do what they want motto. I have become less concerned with other people's opinions of what i do. Let'S go i'm not saying unconcerned, i'm not sitting here as uh, some paragon of virtue, i'm not sitting here as some perfect person who has achieved nirvana or whatever they call it in the hindu world or whatever right. I'M not that i'm just saying i'm a work in progress, and this is something i think i've made progress on. I think i've made progress on the being concerned with what other people do, and i think that's helped me not because not care about their concern about what i do. I think that's been really helpful anita when you have goals for your life and you're focused on them. You don't care what other people think, because you're focused on your goals. I think there's a second step in there anita. I really do because there are a lot of people with goals for their life, who are focused on what they're doing and still very concerned about other people. That'S why i put this on my list. Other people's opinions really matter to some people, uh yeah! That'S why? I put it on here. I think i think there's a second step. I think. Yes, you have your own thing once you put your head down and you focus on your own thing. Yes, but then also, you need to just actively not concern yourself with what other people's opinions are today, because it's really easy to get other people's opinions. Today you just pick up your phone and there's somebody's opinion of you or whatever of something that represents you or some group that you belong to or whatever right, it's really hard. It'S it's really easy to get people's opinions of you today. So i think we have to, i think i see what you're saying, but i think that there's an extra step in there, i think we have to actively say i'm not going to uh put other people's opinions prior, i'm not going to prioritize other people's opinions of Me because it's real everywhere, you go, there's opinions everywhere! You go right. We had some big some some prominent deaths on twitter. Lately i spent too much time on twitter, but it's a it's a thing that i can let go of like instagram when instagram was good. I used to lose hours of my time on instagram now. Nobody, no nobody does that on instagram anymore, but back in the day when instagram was pictures, i used to lose hours of my day on instagram, but i could open up twitter read for two minutes and then close it. So twitter is something i can pick up and put down. So we've had some prominent deaths on twitter. Lately, okay, we know england's queen died. Uh kevin samuels died recently because semi recently everybody's going to have an opinion on you right and it's really easy to hear people's opinions. It'S really easy, so i think that there's an extra step that requires you to actively not prioritize other people's opinions, because today is just they're everywhere, people's opinions are everywhere, so i think it requires some extra. I really do. I really do think it there's an extra step. I put this on my list because i think that a lot of black women in our community are are working towards a big goal, making amazing progress and some some still are concerned about what it looks like to the world. Does this look like i'm running away? Does it look like i'm giving up? Does it look like um a colonizer on the other side? Does it look like a i'm, not saying that some of these things aren't things that we do need to consider, but some of them are not right. Does it look like i'm giving up on my career? Who cares? Who cares? Does it look like i've wasted my entire career if i'm gon na retire now, if i'm gon na retire, who cares right? Who cares? Who cares what it looks like to a group of people who you don't even like anymore? You don't even like them, people, no more right. I uh. Yes, you you can i don't you can't escape it today. I don't know so i did see so i like. I said i spend, i spend time doing nothing and then i do spend time doing unproductive things. So i i'm on twitter, chris chris pine is in a movie uh. I know from twitter that chris pine does not have a cell phone. He has a flip phone. He has a flip phone right. Maybe that is the way you avoid people's chris pine, the actor um, and so when there's a thing and he's taking pictures and he's actually using a disposable camera, it looked like a maybe a regular digital camera, but not a phone. Everyone else is using a phone or a professional camera he's using a little camera because he doesn't have a phone right. Maybe that is a way that you avoid people's opinions. I'M not prepared to do that. Okay, i'm telling i'm not prepared to give up. I like having a phone, i'm not prepared to get off of the internet, so i think the answer is because the internet has done some wonderful things for my life. So i think the answer is we there's an active step where you have to actively choose to not listen to other people's opinions and not or not at least prioritize them, because you're going to hear them you're going to hear them. I don't know i don't. I don't know yeah so yeah, so number two number one five, five things: i think that are secretly ruining black women's lives or five things that are the boss of us that we're going to change our hair uh other people's opinions, uh friends, other people's opinions includes Your adult children's opinions, yeah right, some of you - are afraid to do things because you're afraid of what it will, what your adult children will think: they're adults they have a life, they are their living and when they decide to make a big change, they're going to Do it right when they decide that they want to move abroad or change careers or go off the grid or get a tiny home or whatever they're going to do it right and then you'll still be stuck stuck in the old life like they? Don'T left me behind, i stayed behind for them, and now they don't left me behind right. That includes your adult children. I dash i've been strongly considering a flip phone because of how the smartphones eavesdrop yeah right. They got all our business, they know everything. They know everything i teach youtube um stuff right. I have a youtube coaching community and i'm like youtube knows everything right. There'S! No! You, google right! You! Google owns youtube. They know everything. They know what you're looking shopping for. They know what you're talking about uh. That'S how they're so good at getting people to my youtube channel right. They know you're interested in this kind of thing, they're, even they're, in your business right. That is a something we need to be aware of. I'M i'm telling y'all i'm not getting rid of my stuff. I can't imagine i'm not okay. This is what i'm telling y'all, i'm not some highly enlightened person. Okay, i'm a person who wants some ease and some comfort. I really love doordash and instacart. I'M not getting rid of my cell phone, i'm not okay, latasha! I just got my smartphone and i like it. Yes can make life so much easier yeah. So you don't yes right, but we have to decide on for ourselves. Everybody has to decide for ourselves for their sales. My opinion is not gon na help. You right, my opinion is not one that you should be using to live your life michelle when you do things differently from other people's expectations they get jealous because they aren't brave enough to do it. That'S right right, jealousy and envy are really just signals that they want to do that thing. That'S what they want. I actually use envy to do some more some future planning for my own life. I use envy when i'm envious of people for things. I write it down. Oh i'm envious because i want that thing too. I use it, write it down right and then once i start moving towards that thing in my own life, don't you know that envy goes away, uh, yeah right so but michelle's point. When people speak to you in that way, it's it's not out of um. It'S not probably out of a real concern for you as much for some people. You know people right as much as it is uh. I can't do that. I don't think i can do it, so i don't want you to do it. How dare you leave me behind right? That'S a real thing that really does happen in people's lives. It'S okay! He done that who i don't know, that's fine! You don't have to i'm just saying he's a grown man with all the money and no phone with a flip phone. That'S all! That'S all tony from rise up in bloom says i had to get some age to not care. Yes, that's a wonderful thing about aging. That is a wonderful thing right. So i told you my struggle with looking my age, but i love being my age. I love it. I wouldn't go back. I would not go back. I wouldn't go back right. I love it that i don't care, i do not care uh, that's a wonderful thing that has come from age. Yes, indeed, all right, so uh, two things i think we've already covered. How did we have we done on this hair, other people's opinions? Jada? What would you advise someone who's in their 20s and realize they're already the black sheep of the family, i'm not a therapist or a psychologist, or anything like that? Okay, but in my experience the person who thinks they're the black sheep usually is not right. I have i have two different friends who used to say describe themselves as the black sheep of the family as an outsider, i'm like girl. You are like the perfect amalgamation of these two people. You are the mother and the father. You are them you're, not that how could you possibly think you're the black sheep? When i see them, i see snippets of you uh, so i would say labeling yourself, the black sheep is probably harmful. Okay, now saying you want something different from what they want. Fine you're an in an individual, that's part of life, that's life, that is life, wanting things for yourself that are different from what other people want for themselves or for you what's different from what they want for you. That'S life, there's no advice! I don't right! There'S no advice: just keep living live your life yeah. I really do anybody. Anybody am i missing something. Anybody notice this in the world, the i never. I would never describe myself as a black sheep, because i am exactly connie and joe perry. I am exactly those two people, there's no question a little bit of russell a little bit of lucille a little bit of willy a little bit of martha, even though i never met her right a little bit, i'm a little bit of those two people right. I'M a little bit of helen and florence, my aunts, i'm a little bit of right. I i so i see it very clearly, but you see a lot of people who call themselves the black sheep and i'm like you're, exactly a combination of these people. It may be the way you're treated okay, so monique. This is a good point right. It could be the way. Okay, so there's a difference between being treated differently and being different. Okay, so monique monique michelle, because the family treated them that way. They are the perfect, perfect combination, yet the parents or siblings, treat them differently. Okay, being treated differently is, is the real concern, then? Okay, thank you for clearing this up. Okay, so it's not necessarily being different but being treated differently. That'S them! That'S an important distinction! Monique that i did not get thank you, okay, so this is a this is difficult for me because i'm 48., i can't i can't you are your own person, all of you with people in your 20s, you sometimes just don't realize that life is going to keep Happening you're just getting started. Okay, thank you. Review tv, okay, y'all, get something that i don't get. Okay, it's about the treatment. Okay, you are your own person might as well start living like that today, i don't know. Was that helpful, so y'all get this jessica. Okay, y'all get something that i didn't get cause my one of my girlfriend one of my best friends. She used to always say that i'm like girl, you are exactly him plus her exactly 50 50., okay, um you're, an adult live your life. That'S my advice for everyone in the world. You'Re an adult, live your life relationships change over time wasn't until i was in my in over 40, when i quit my job at 41 and started traveling. That'S when i met my parents as people right. That'S when we started to get to know each other as people so time time change time can change relationships, i'm not a relationship counselor or therapist. I can't give you relationship and advice. I can give you advice on living as an individual, and that advice is to remember that you will die, you will die. You'Re gon na die. Okay, so you might as well live. That'S my life advice might as well live, you will die and people are everybody's. Gon na have something to say: we just saw that right everybody's to have something to say so you might as well live live the way you want patty, says therapy time for consciousness and self-love. Okay, these are the end. These are patti's answers, therapy time for consciousness and self-love and monique says yes time and distance yeah patty peachtree. This whole channel is about how to be the black sheep and be happy okay, yeah, okay, i'll take that i'll. Take that i'll. Take that so i'm okay! I would describe myself as a weirdo - maybe i'm just using semantics - to get around things. So i would describe myself as a weirdo, but yes, we're a whole channel of weirdos we're a whole channel of weirdos. You do need to find your people somewhere, find your people somewhere, so that okay, now i'm getting it more y'all are helping, explain things to me. So, yes, so that's more more answer. More answer find your people, your biological family, serves a purpose, but they don't have to fill every need. Every need that you have find your people create that space find them out there they're out here, as patti says we right here, hello, my name is stephanie. Welcome. We right here: okay, okay speaking of finding your community. Let me stop for just a minute and talk about exodus summit. 2022.. It'S time to get your ticket if you don't have your ticket yet exodus. Summit 2022 is a virtual summit for black women who are planning to move abroad or planning a sabbatical or planning a career break or want to plan these things or planning to bop around as a digital, nomad. Okay, it's a sabbatical. It'S a virtual summit, an online uh summit to teach you how to get the move abroad money. You need to do that thing. I'M trying to paste my link in here enter. Did it do it? Yes, all right. I just was trying to copy and paste without saying copy and paste, and you know that's really hard for me all right. So exodus summit happens online october, 8th 9th and 10th, with a little welcome get-together something online october: 7th, okay, get your tickets at exodus summit.com! This is where, if you feel like the black sheep, if you feel like the weirdo, this is where you will meet your community. You'Ll meet your gang okay, you're gon na meet your friends, you're gon na meet people who get it. People who you don't have to say well, i want to do this, but i want you know, here's why i want you don't have to justify why you want to do the things that you want to. Do you don't have to explain you don't have to say. I want to go to mexico, don't worry it's safe right, you don't have to say i want to move abroad. I love my kids uh and my grandkids, but i need it's time right. You don't have to. We don't have to do all that. We already know this is what we do here. Okay, exodus summit is a virtual summit with classes, so we have uh right now: 20 black women coming in to teach you a variety of ways to get move abroad. Money. Okay, we've talked about some subjects that we're covering already some sessions that we're covering already rashida and i went - live on the exodus summit youtube channel on monday and we're going to do it again on sunday evening to talk about some of the sessions. But i'll tell you some sessions right now: okay, we have a session on real estate, investing without being a landlord. We have a session on airbnb out the home that you live in right now, while you're traveling uh, the our speaker, who did that was pam. Our speaker, who did that, made fifty thousand dollars her first year? Okay, we have a session on breaking into tech. You don't have to have the tech skills to work for a tech company. You know that these tech companies are out here paying, and you know that these tech companies are giving a more flexible work. Environment right tech companies in the u.s are probably your best bet for getting flexible work right for getting literal work from anywhere jobs. Not just work from your home in your state, but literal work from anywhere jobs. I think tech companies are your best bet in in america uh, but you don't have to become a data security network analyst to do to work for a tech company. You know who they hire, they hire hr people, they hire project managers, they hire olivia just did a talk on educators and teachers moving into tech because they hire people in instructional design right. So we have a speaker coming in to teach you how to break into tech. A daily session is on how much money is really enough right when we talk about saving and investing and all of that, how much money is actually enough. Some of you all got it now. You just don't know it. We have a session on uh virtual phone sex. We have a phone sex operator coming in to talk about how she makes money on through phone sex without being super committed to it, which i think is a real, strong, pull right. She can make some money doing this thing and she doesn't have to be super consistent right. She could just pick it up and put it down when she feels like it uh, and then we have a woman who's. Making big does selling feet pics. She said black women selling feet. Pics on the internet is an untapped market. We have that session at exodus summit uh. We have i'm, of course, teaching how to get clients from youtube. If you have a business already how to get clients from youtube, we haven't confirmed this speaker, but i'm really excited about her and i think she's going to be a hundred percent in she's, like 99 in uh on running an online marketplace from anywhere in the world. She'S, a drop shipper right. She has an online store people buy from her. She does not make a product, she does not ship a product, but her online store supports her yeah right uh. There are ways out here and then, of course, we have a session on how to teach your thing to people for money right. You do something, you know how to do something. People come to you for help with something. Can you teach that on the internet for money? Probably yes, okay, some some of you do tradition. You teach traditional subjects already. Some of you are already a math teacher and english teacher or whatever right, but some of you just know how to do something. You know how to braid right. You know how to cook. You know how to do something right. No, you already said it suck rasheeda's on here. Acting bad rasheeda already said that session uh yesterday in her live stream. She just forgot she's the one who announced it. She announced it yesterday. Rasheeda is the co-host of exodus summit. Rashida lives in mexico, city uh. As i told you, if you don't know me, i'm a house sitter i bop around. I go where i feel like it. I go where the weather is good and where i can get free accommodation with a swimming pool right, because we both have income that we both have move abroad, money right, because we have move abroad, money right, and so we host exodus summit every year. This is our third year we host exodus summit to get black women to that spot. To that place, where you have that freedom, where you can be where you want for as long as you feel like it, if you get to a city and you fall in love with it, and you want to get residency in that country, do it if you Just want to bop around do it if you want to stay where you are and just not go to work, do it right register at exodus, summit.com, okay, exodus, summit.com, get your ticket. Okay prices go up on tuesday. Monday is the very last day for prices. As you see them, okay, monday september 12th, monday september 12th, is the last day for the prices so go ahead and get your tickets. Okay, exodus, summit.com, i'm not in trouble. Darleisha, don't let her scare, you i'm not in trouble! She already announced it. She just forgot. She already announced it yesterday, which is why i said it uh, so okay, so these are some of the sessions we have lined up. I feel like i got through about six of them. We have 20 or 18 18 sessions. 20 speakers 18 sessions right so come on. Come there, okay, all right! Thank you. Okay, we'll see somebody we'll see y'all there. Okay, our goal: we rashida set our goal at 5: 000 black women in this summit. Okay, so listen after the summit you're going to see an exodus of black women from the country just like last year, okay, just like the first year we've had we've. We'Ve created these exodus already all right, so you might as well get in because you don't want to be like what what happened, where, how come everybody, what every, where y'all go! Why'D y'all leave me here. Don'T leave me all right, we're we have told you! Okay, we have told you some of the women who have already done their exodus are here in the chat right. We'Ve got women right here in the chat who have already done it um so get in okay, get in yes, good, okay, egami upgraded! So we have a weekend pass and then we have the all access pass. The all access pass gives you access to more things. The weekend pass gives you access to all of the summit sessions all of the regular summit sessions, the all of the sessions that i just named, plus the other ones that i keep forgetting to name right, because i get so excited right. It gives you access to those sessions, but if you upgrade to the all access the weekend pass gives you access. Okay, but if you upgrade to the all access pass, then you get access to the replace for one full year, because these sessions are teaching you to do things right. Some of these sessions you're going to want to come back to over and over again. So you get refund refill re plays refills, maybe refill you get replays for a full year. If you upgrade to the all access pass. You also get um a couple of bonus work sessions where the speaker is going to come in and help you work through some things right. If you learn something and you need some help, you'll get some a couple of bonus sessions with the speakers. We don't have those confirmed, we don't have which speakers we're inviting to the bonus sessions to announce yet. Okay, uh you're, also getting a bunch of goodies you're. Getting a house sitter school you're, getting my get found on youtube: masterclass you're, getting a a strong, significant discount on from burnout to bliss right when you come to exit the summit. What'S going to happen, is you're going to be ready to get planning right away? How can i make the fastest exit? How can i get myself transitioned as soon as quickly as possible, you're going to want coaching okay from burnout to bliss is rashida's group coaching program and you get a significant discount on from burnout to bliss when you get the all access pass. Okay, and so, if you have the weekend, pass check your email, if you want to upgrade to the all access pass, there's a thing in the email for you to do that. If you don't, if you can't find it just email us hello at exodus summit.com. So if you have the weekend pass, you want to upgrade to the all access pass, email us hello at exodus, summit.com for that or but if check your email, an email just went out. I thursday, okay, all right. It'S amazing teresa! It'S amazing! So there's not any place like it on the internet right we already, we have a community and the community. Facebook community runs all the time, uh that it's there's it's the best facebook community there is. I already know that i'm in a lot - and so i'm qualified to say, hey, i'm in a lot of facebook communities, so i'm qualified to say that the exodus summit facebook community is already the best community there is uh going to the summit is life-changing. We, like women's lives, change after they attend exodus summit, not just buy the ticket, but come to the summit. Okay, you get yourself into accountability groups. You get partners in this thing. So if you do feel like the black sheep, if you do feel like the weirdo exodus summit is where you will get partners co-workers who will help you get get the things that you need move towards this goal of yours move towards this plan of yours. There'S no place like it there's no place like it. I i feel qualified to say that i'm in a lot of communities, i go to a lot of online things, summits, events, conferences, workshops, there's nothing like it. One of the reasons that we keep it black women. Only because anybody a lot of people could benefit anybody can benefit right right here in the live chat. There are some men secretly here in the live stream right because they benefit they learn good stuff - maybe not today because of the subject, but they learn good stuff right, but the reason we keep it black women only is because there is some magic that happens when Black women get together. That happens no place else when we know that this place is for us when we feel safe, when we don't have to worry about white women, gaslighting us about racism and black men, gaslighting us about everything else right. We don't have to worry about that when we can just be together, there is unmatched magic that happens. I don't know how, when the last time it is that you got to get together with a group of black women who were into your thing. I don't know when that last time is, but i can't i there are no words that i could use to explain to you how amazing it is how life-changing it is, how joy-filled how love-filled it is. Nothing like it. You see this chat right here, right, when's, the last time you so we're in the chat. How many people are here? 613 hi guys hit the like button. Okay, thank you. 613 black women in this live stream. Today and it's love. It'S help. It'S support! It'S care!