20 Things I Learned In My 20'S | Chit Chat Hair Grwm | Arnell Armon

Foreign, hey guys and welcome back to my channel. If you are new, I'm Arnell in today's video I'm going to be installing a wig while discussing 20 things, I've learned in my 20s, so the wig we're going to be installing today is from hair VV. So you already know it's going to come out good. Oh, this is going to look so good, so it comes styled for you and you could tell they color this themselves. You could smell the shampoo, like you could just tell they sent this a few weeks ago, and I've been waiting for this moment all right. So, let's start our Bobcat method and let's start this list of 20 things. I'Ve learned in my 20s. The first thing I learned in my 20s is to follow your heart. Now that sounds cliche, but what I mean is to follow your heart, especially when it comes to what you want to do with your career. If you guys didn't know, I started YouTube at 19.. Hey guys um, I just film this look. This super duper duper basic Foundation, routine um. I just want to say, welcome to my channel. I hate seeing that because I suck at greetings, I'm not like those kind of people. That'S gon na start. Every video off, like hey guys, you know, welcome to my channel like no, I just like I don't like welcoming. I just like be like hey what's up. This is the video that I'm about to make, and I hope you enjoy it. That'S like how I'm gon na greet you guys just a heads up, because I'm super awkward when it comes to greetings and prior to YouTube. I did a semester in college. If you're familiar with the Bay Area, I went to Cal State East Bay at first. I was going to go to Sonoma State, but then I went there and the lack of diversity was just like I'm not going to college here, and so I didn't go there and I last minute applied to East Bay, because I knew it would be easy to Get in, and so I was going to school there I was still living at home going to school because I was living in Oakland in East bays and Hayward. So it wasn't that far and for the most part I enjoyed it outside of going to class. But going to class, I just knew okay, like this really isn't for me. I didn't feel like I was learning anything and I felt like it was a waste of my time while at East Bay I got a job at Target and I was working in the beauty section. So that's kind of I guess I was kind of practice for YouTube because I I was technically hired for boots Cosmetics if you guys have ever been to Target and have seen the Brand number seven. I was working for them, so I was very familiar with those products because obviously I did training on them, but because I was in the beauty section, I helped people with pretty much all of the beauty products that were in that section, because I just I was There, so that's what I was helping with and I really enjoyed that job. Actually, I really really did, and so after my first semester in college, I was like I'm not. This is just not me. I don't want to do this anymore and at the time I remember my sister and I we tried to do a joint Channel together, but that didn't work out, and so I kind of gave up because I didn't have the proper laptop. When I got my financial aid check, I did not buy a new laptop. I forgot what I spent it on, but it wasn't a laptop. I do remember the first thing I bought the first two makeup products that I bought that I couldn't afford. Until I got my financial aid check, was this Buxom gloss at the time they were 18 and I know I would always try them, but I couldn't afford to buy it, and then I bought the Nars sheer glow because I always wanted it, but it was 45. So I remember buying that, but I didn't buy a laptop which really slowed me down. I did buy a camera. I bought a Canon T3. I wanted a T3i. The T3i comes with a flip out screen. I would have been able to see myself, which would obviously help with filming but Walmart at the time only had the T3 and I was like okay, if I don't buy a camera now. I know I'm gon na blow this money, so let me just buy the T3. That was a mistake. This is before I knew of monitors and just I didn't know much about cameras at all, and so when I would film my videos, I would have to put a mirror behind the camera to see myself and I couldn't afford a tripod. So I'll put the camera on top of a stack of books but prior to starting YouTube. Everyone online was asking me to start my channel and, to you know, make videos for whatever reason they, like my makeup, looks, and so I kept I kept getting requests to start a channel and Alyssa was also doing YouTube, so I think people just figured okay. If she's on YouTube, Arnel should be doing it as well, and I'm like you guys like I, I don't know how to use this camera and I really should have just did my own research and I ended up buying a laptop. But I call myself trying to save money, so I bought a laptop off Craigslist. It was like a dinosaur, I got it for like 250 and it sucked it was not. It wasn't good enough to like edit or do anything, and so I'm feeling super discouraged, and at the time I was also getting a little bit of discouragement in real life of people telling me that I shouldn't start YouTube. I shouldn't do it and I remember thinking I almost use that as motivation to start YouTube because I'm like you know, I'm not gon na, be told what to do and if I want to start YouTube and everyone's asking me to start YouTube. I'M gon na do YouTube, and so I figured it out and I was determined to start YouTube, and I remember so. I quit my job at Target and then I was briefly working at Macy's, terrible experience and I'm kind of making it work with my little dinosaur laptop, but I'm still not able to post as much as I want it to because you know it was a struggle To film, but when I was working at Mac, one of my co-workers one day we're on the floor talking and I told her about how I really wanted to be. You know I really wanted to take YouTube seriously. I just needed a laptop, a better laptop and I needed to update my camera, because I was struggling to film me because I couldn't really see myself while filming, because I didn't I didn't know what a monitor was and she mentioned QVC and that's how I was Able to get my first Like official laptop and my mom really helped me out with that, because I had to make like six monthly payments, and I want to see my mom made like half of them so shout out to her and then I happened to buy A new camera, the perfect timing, it was around Black Friday and Canon was having to sell. So I got a Canon T5i and I was ready to start, but I say all that to say there were a few like obstacles I had to get through in order to start my channel. But I was determined to start and initially when I did finally start because everyone kept requested videos from me. I was bullied a lot. I don't think you guys understand. I was bullied so much and I didn't know why but uh I think it's just. I don't know oftentimes people pit siblings against each other. So that's a thing, but I kept being told like you know: why are you doing YouTube? We already have your sister or you know. How does it feel to be the loser twin? Why do you have so many less followers like? I would get really really mean comments, but I was determined to to still do YouTube and sometimes it will really make me sad and I'll call my friend Bree crying like oh, like it's pointless. I don't know why. I still do this, like you know and she's like no like she goes. You know people like your personality, like you, don't quit, you need to keep doing it, and so I'm, like you, know, you're right, like I really enjoy doing it and I feel like I do have a purpose on the platform. I just have to find my way, and I eventually found my way - and here I am today. So that's one of the number one things I've learned since being in my 20s is that if you truly want to do something and you feel like you're meant to be doing it, don't let Outsiders, control or even have an input on? If you do it or not, just do it because you never know where it may lead you and that's just me being transparent, and so I would feel discouraged feeling like. I had no true purpose on this platform, but, like look at me now, I've created my own Community people who watch my videos because they really enjoy me. They enjoy my vlogs. You guys just enjoy me for a variety of reasons and looking back, if I wouldn't have fallen my heart and allowed people to discourage me from doing this, I would have just fumble. I don't know around right now. I do not know what I'll be doing and every time I make videos, I know for a fact that I'm doing exactly what I meant to be doing so follow your heart. That'S number one number, two guys don't screen record this. The last time I was like spitting when I was wearing my wig cap, people want to screen record it. I'M like, I know, I'm seeing some good stuff but come on. I look crazy, so number two I have learned that is. It is very important to learn the lesson and leave and move on, and what I mean by that is you'll encounter certain situations, especially like in your dating life, or even with your friendships that they're not meant to be permanent. They aren't, if you're ever in a situation, and it's constant problems, constant just it just it just no matter what is just not going smoothly that that's probably not meant to be a permanent situation. You'Re not going through these things to to get stronger within the relationship or within the situation you're going through these things to get stronger and leave. It learn the lesson and leave. There'S been many times in which I have either been manipulated into situations or I've. Just simply put myself into situations due to my own ego or other reasons and I'll I'll, find myself learning the same lesson over and over and over because I'll stay in certain situations for longer than I need to stay in them. Thanks again, uncomfortable things could get just really really bad and I'll still feel like. I need to learn more when it's like. No, like the lesson has already been learned. It is time to let go and leave. That is the second thing I have learned since being in my 20s. Learn the lesson and leave know when to end things, I'm telling you what God wants for. You is not going to be super crazy, complicated and difficult. It'S not going to stress you out. It'S not going to have you depressed, it's just simply not so if you find yourself in a situation in which is just like, yo like this is just not good. Yeah learn a lesson from it. Maybe the lesson could be like for I'll speak it for myself. I feel like sometimes or at least with some of the situations I've been in the lesson more so had to do with me and my own character, development and like okay. Why did you choose to be in this? Knowing that you can, you can do much better. There was a lesson that I needed to learn in that you know what I mean like there's: a reason why you know you have to figure out that reason and dip. Okay, that's the second thing: I've learned in my 20s. The third lesson I have learned in my 20s is oftentimes and it's unfortunate and it's something that we don't really want to believe. But oftentimes people don't change. Do I think people can't change. Of course I know that because I myself I've changed as a person. You know I haven't always been, who I am today, so it's it's it's possible to change, but sometimes people aren't meant to change when they're in your life. Some people may change five years down the road. When you not even think about that anymore, you know, but some people, some people, just don't change, but the thing is: is some people don't want to change people, don't even think they they need to change some people, don't even reflect long enough on themselves to realize. Hey, I should probably change this about myself, so it's not not even a matter of certain people. I I won't. Even I'm not trying to be harsh about it. Certain people may truly not even realize they should change, because a lot of people don't take the time to reflect on who they really are they don't that's the reality of things they just simply. Don'T you can't fix anybody? That'S another thing. I'Ve learned that's a little bonus. You can't fix anybody if you're spending too much time trying to fix people, there's probably something in you that you need to fix, because no, you don't need to waste your time, fixing people, but that is that is something I've learned in my 20s oftentimes people. Just simply don't change and that's fine, you either remove them from your life or you just move them around. You know, but it's important to just know and accept that not everyone is going to change, not everyone's going to be who you want them to be. For you, some people need to leave your life in order for them to change them. Girls, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm talking about friendships as well, because I've experienced this within friendships. Some people just don't change. The fourth thing I've learned in my 20s is the value of friendship and why it's so important to just have good people in your life, good friends, in your life, okay, I have they're good, I mean I have a lot of friends, but, like super duper, duper Close friends like a good handful and I value them all for different reasons, but I truly value friendship because, in times of which I haven't had the best relationship with my family, my friends have they've. Given me a sense of stability that I I needed. You know - and it's just I don't know it - I I just really value friendships, especially friendships with other women, because I just view them as sisters. Sisterhood is very important to me, and so in my 20s, like that's something I really learned to just value friendships. Don'T don't allow a relationship to ruin or take you away from a friendship and if you get into a relationship with somebody that somehow finds an issue with all of your friends or they're, trying to put in your head that your friends are hating on you or I don't like them, they're, not happy for us question that, because sometimes people come into your life, especially narcissistic men, and they will try to pull you away from everyone who loves you and supports you, because they don't want you to have that and oftentimes. Those are your friends and so they'll, slowly start to say, make little commentary here and there about how this friend or this friend it seems jealous of you. This friend seems this. This friend seems that if you meet anyone doing that, you need to question where that's coming from sometimes people, especially narcissists that are abusive, they will definitely try to pull you away from your friends, because the reality is they want to abuse you in a safe space. They don't want you to be able to go to anyone for help or for advice. You know what I mean like they. Don'T they don't want you to have anyone in your corner, so they can attack you on when you're by yourself. You hold on to your friends, especially the ones that have been around for years, that you've built actual solid relationships with, of course, friendships have their ups and their downs. I'Ve had friendships in which there's been betrayal involved. You know the trust have to be rebuilt. It really depends the case-by-case basis, there's friends, that I've cut off because I'm like you know, no, it's not worth forgiving and trying to trust you again and there's friendships that I didn't end or even friendships that, like I've, taken breaks from and we've come back because They'Re, just still a friendship by value at the end of the day, it really depends and it's up to you, but in my 20s I've just learned to really value friendship, because good friends they're really there when you need them the most, and so I just they're. Just really important to me that leads me to the next lesson. I'Ve learned number five be selective when choosing your friends, there has been times in which I have become friends when honestly, just any just about anybody. Just because I don't know I just someone could seem a little nice, I'm like okay, I'll, be your friend. No, no, it's important to be friends with like-minded people, but also at least for me. I don't want a friend that agrees with everything. I say that actually really annoys me. I I've had a couple friends like that, where, like they were like yes, men and it's like okay, I see what you're trying to do, and maybe you think that's like appealing to me, but I can't grow with yes men around me. I can't grow up. Everyone around me is agreeing with everything. I'M saying it literally would drive me insane. I hate it so yeah, that's not my cup of tea, but I also don't want a friend that, like is constantly trying to debate everything you know, because that's also no, I'm not gon na deal with that either. But I've learned to be selective with who I become friends with because of the experiences I've had with choosing the wrong friends. There'S friends that I've made that's the thing it's so tricky, I'm not gon na, say uh. So, in my experience, because of what I do, some of the friends I've made they've started off as just people who watched me on YouTube right and I'll. Never say that I'll never become friends with a supporter again because, like at least two of my closest friends started off by watching me and they're great. But the couple of friends that I did have that ended up being like for when I chose to no longer be friends with them. They showed their true colors. They also started off as people who, like watched, my Channel or, like you know, they knew me from social media and it was clear. Their intentions were just not good towards me. I feel like anyone who goes on to bash you if you no longer want to be their friend, they weren't genuine. To begin with. You know, because I mean I've: had people no longer want to speak to me, I'm not going to go bash them. That'S their choice. You know what I mean like that's, so, if, if I'm going to bash them, and especially if I'm saying certain things that means I was not being genuine with them, you know. Oh, this is gon na. Look! Stop oh yeah! This is gon na. Look really good so because of those experiences in which I befriended people who I was aware that they were like fans of mine, but I'm like. Oh, you seem cool, but then, when I no longer want to be associated with them and I'll tell you guys my reasons like as to why I'll choose to not be friends with certain people. There'S been people who have been just flat out like rude and I'm like or like say they gave me advice, but I could tell came from a very nasty place. I'M like I don't really feel safe with you anymore. I don't want to talk. I don't I don't want no or as you mature you'll want to surround yourself with people who are also maturing, who are also growing. You don't want to be around people who are stagnant, and so you know there has been friendships in which I've ended, because I'm, like you, know what I just there's certain people. I just prefer not to associate myself with, because I feel, like your friends, are a reflection of you and I just prefer to be associated with people who carry themselves in a certain way. It'S more so of what are you working towards, like you know, or do you have something to lose? Associating yourself with people who have nothing to lose is a very dangerous thing. Trust me I have experienced it. It is very dangerous. Someone who has nothing to lose. Will do their best or try their hardest to take everything away from you, so you lose everything because they have nothing. Trust me on this naive. It is friendships. Relationships, do not associate yourself with someone who has nothing to lose. They are dangerous, but I don't know. I just I went through a phase and I I guess I'm still in that phase, but just I'm more so referring to when I decided to cut certain people off I'm like you know what like, if I want a girl as a person I need to be. I need to be around women, who honestly are damn near more mature than I am who are better than me. I just want to be around like boss, women, just women like women who are like. I don't know I like being around confident women being around people like that. Inspire me P.S, I'm sugar Cody a lot of things. So if this is not making sense because I'm trying my hardest to say what I want to say, without being without being too specific and without being harsh about it, but that's that's something. I'Ve learned in my 20s just being selective with who I choose to be friends with and who I let in my circle. You know because it's it's just it's important to keep good people around you and you just got to be selective, which leads to number six. I try to group these in categories, so they kind of flow knowing what to let a friendship just fade out, not all friendships have to end in like drama or beef. It doesn't have to be that way, especially if, like one friend didn't do the other friend wrong and vice versa, it doesn't always have to be that way. Sometimes people outgrow each other. Sometimes people yeah, like that's it's just that simple. Sometimes people outgrow each other and you have to know what to just allow certain friendships to fade out. Like I said there doesn't have to be any drama involved. There doesn't have to be any harsh feelings. Just okay, like you're, going a different path. You know maybe you're attracting a different type of person or a different type of friends. That'S your path! I don't hate you. You know. I still wish you the best, but we just simply are going in two different directions and that's okay. Number. Seven. I have learned how how important it is. It'S almost crucial to not surround yourself with people who are envious of you, and that includes both men and women. Honestly, nothing is scarier and more dangerous than a jealous man. A man who is jealous of you is terrifying. Honestly, both women and men, I've just I've, experienced both and I feel like experiencing a jealous man, which is a little more intense than experiencing a jealous woman. But it's it's pay attention to how people react when you tell them good news. So if you call you know, maybe a friend about something good like oh, this happened and their response is: oh, that's, nice and like that's it and you could tell their tone you could tell just by their toe the look of their face like oh, that's, nice And you're, just like oh my bad, okay, next subject, you know like if they don't ask you details or oh wow, like I know, you've been hoping for an opportunity like this. This is so cool, oh wow! This is great, like no excitement, no interest. Just oh! That'S nice, like I don't know about y'all, but that kind of stuff like it's like, oh okay, and I I've dealt with that where, like I'm like. Okay, like you know, I'm not gon na cut you off, because I don't hate you, but I'm also just not gon na share my good news with you, because the energy in which I receive is almost like. You don't think I deserve this or I don't know, but I don't think that energy around me, and especially the worst thing you could do especially is either have a super, close friendship or be in a relationship with someone who is jealous of what you have, because They will either try to take it away or they will work overtime to try to convince you that you do not deserve it and by doing so they'll either tell you like, for example, me me doing YouTube they'll, be like oh you're, fake. Your followers don't know the real. You say you get into an argument with them. I'M in your career, I'm you know you think that, like you know, like certain statements, I'm trying to think of more examples. Certain statements are made it's like, or even if they recognize that you're not really posting, but they're, aware that this is your job, and this is your passion and while you're not posting, not once do they even ask you hey, what's going on, why? Why aren't you posting - or you know like, is there anything that I could do to help you cheer up like and they're just completely content with you allowing your career to just grow a pair of legs and run away? Beware of those kind of people be aware of them, because I'm telling you, when you have someone that close to you, that is envious of what you have like. I said they will either try to take it away by trying to destroy it, or they would try to convince you that you don't deserve it, so you essentially let it Fade Away yourself. You, you fumble your own bag, be cautious of that. That is something that I've learned in my 20s. I might just spend this whole video in a ball cap. This is crazy. Oh my gosh water to dry faster. This is nuts number eight. I believe I've learned the importance of support now. Here'S why I say this because of certain circumstances. I guess you can say I kind of taught myself to. I taught myself to do things without the need of support, because I wasn't getting it from the people that I wanted from. So I just taught myself to just: do it anyways without their support at all, and I convinced myself, I didn't need it until I started to receive it specifically in my relationship and that taught me wow, like the the difference in like my work ethic, and just My confidence when filming and just everything like the difference in when I'm getting support from someone who's close to me. It like it makes a huge difference and it's had such a positive impact on my overall workflow and just everything and it's crazy, because I really convinced myself, I didn't need support at all. I believe it or not. You guys. There'S been times, I've been around people who were so what's the word? Is it unsupportive non-supportive? Is there a word for that, whatever they just weren't supportive? That, like when I was excited talking about my YouTube channel and how well I was doing they literally said we didn't come here, talk about your channel and it hurt my feelings so much because I'm just like well dang, like I'm, just really happy right now that It'S doing really good but like I would get feedback like that. So I convinced myself that okay, I don't need the support whatever I don't need it, but now that I get it I'm like well, I do need it actually. I do need to hear that I'm doing good. I do need to hear that hey our Nasi you're posted consistently. Keep it up. Those that's really important to me. It really really is especially coming from people that are close to me, because it lets me know that I'm I'm doing a good job, and even though I myself can know I'm doing a good job, it feels good to be told I'm doing a good job. So I've learned just how how crucial it is to have support around you, because it makes a huge difference because, like I said I might get ready with me, you can still be successful without support, but I feel like you'll attain success even faster and just it Will just be a better experience when you have people who are genuinely supporting you around you. My boyfriend just got here to eat leftover dinner, but I'm so used to filming. Just by myself, I get so weird filming around other people. Anyways number eight! Oh now, this one may be hard for people to hear, but it's okay, because maybe if you're watching this, it's something that you haven't personally learned yet and maybe one day you will learn it. But it's something that I have learned and that is let me rub out this glue hold up. You are responsible for healing your own trauma, and I know that that's kind of difficult to hear because oftentimes, especially if it's directly connected to someone, we expect them to help us heal that trauma. But the reality is that's not always the case. It'S typically traumas, usually at least in my life - it's caused by someone, older, sometimes they'll, admit, okay. I did this and they'll apologize and that will help you heal a little bit honestly oftentimes people who are older than you or anyone who's caused you or trauma they. Don'T want to admit they cost you your trauma. They don't want to admit that you're now having issues in your adult life because of what they did. They don't want to admit that so sometimes they won't and obviously that's not going to help you heal your trauma. Sometimes people pass on where you ever even get the chance to get closure with them or get help to heal the trauma that they may have caused. That'S why it is your responsibility to heal it on your own. It really really is, and if you've been following me at least since 2019, I made a video about this once about how I call my dad and told him that I want to work on a relationship with him, because my lack of relationship with him had to Do with a lot of my trauma - and he laughed in my face Dad if you're watching this. This is no shade to you, because I'm not even mad at you about that anymore, but he left in my face. Didn'T take it seriously and I didn't speak to him for a year because of it and then when I spoke to him, I don't know I just I got to a point where I just chose to forgive him. It could be a matter of my age and getting older and just reflecting on the fact that okay, my mom, had me at 26. My dad was he don't like people like people knowing his age. So I'm like, I said, but now that I'm that age or around that age, in which my mom was having us as kids and I've, experienced different men that were my dad's age. I truly just his actions. I simply write it off to him being immature. I don't take it personal how he treated me. I don't take it, I don't take it personal, I don't take it as like. He was trying to destroy my life or ruin my adulthood or I don't think he was malicious and what he did. I truly don't feel that way. So with that I just forgave him, I'm really not mad anymore. I don't care like okay, I do care, I don't want to make. I don't want to say I don't care, but I just. I really don't think that he was being malicious. I truly truly don't. I really think that he was immature and he just he had a terrible way of going about it terrible, but I just I'm not. I don't know I just that. Just wasn't trauma that I want to hold on to anymore and the minute I recognized that it was in my control and it was up to me to either let it go and forget, give him or to continue to hold on to it. I just made the personal decision to forgive him and let it go and when I, when I forgave him like it's, not like okay, I just say I forgave him, but I still have this Grudge. No, I actually forgave him. I have no issue with him at all: we're cool. So it's it's you know and of course everyone's trauma is different. You know some people, unfortunately have experienced more traumatic things than I've ever experienced, and for that I apologize because I feel like what I experience is pretty traumatic. So I just I hate the thought of people experiencing even more trauma, but the reality is sometimes when we seek for others to help us heal. They just simply won't do that, and if you want to release that trauma and not allow it to consume your life, you have to figure out a way to heal from it either that be like with me, because the situation with my dad, I don't know, I Feel, like it kind of dragged on for a long time, am I okay, like I got ta let this go. It was. It was as simple as just choosing to forgive him or other traumatic things I've experienced. I have to talk to a therapist for it and a therapist really helped with that, but, however way I dealt with it, I dealt with it because it was my responsibility because the people that caused that trauma for me they weren't about to fix it. For me, they also don't have to carry it for you and it sucks it really really sucks, because it's like damn like you caused this for me now. I got ta deal with it. It sucks, but they don't have to carry that trauma free. They don't have to live with it; they don't have to go to sleep with it, so it's really up to you to either hold on to it or get rid of it. I think I'm, my number 10., oh crap. In my 20s, I've learned the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism and someone projecting their own flaws onto me. Learn the difference. There'S some people who will be giving you constructive criticism and they really just want to help you with your overall character and there's some people who project who they really are onto you because simply put their shitty people. It'S as simple as that, all I'm saying is in my 20s, I'm very difference between the two I could tell when someone is giving me advice because they genuinely care and they want to help me improve or when someone is just projecting their problems, their issues, their Flaws onto me, you got a little difference, because people will do that if you allow them to number 11. I'M gon na put this wig on this stresses me out. I have learned just how important it is to pay attention to red flags early on here's. The thing you guys and there's no judgment coming for me if you're currently still ignoring red flags. I literally can't judge anybody because I've been queen of ignore red flags a lot of times, we'll end up in situations that are absolutely terrible and oftentimes. It'S not until we're out of that situation by the way I'm putting powder on the loose that we look back and we realize. Oh, there was this red flag. It was that red flag. It was this red flag, it was that red flag and we just chose to ignore them. Don'T do that because a lot of times they're right in your face - oh wait! I want to cut off these clips, and the red flags you ignore in the beginning will literally be the reason why either why the relationship ends or why the relationship is god-awful and just terrible in in friendships as well, because there's friendships, there's red flags of friendships, Too, that I've ignored and then later I'm like see, I knew I shouldn't have ignored this pay attention to them. Please and it's okay, if you mess up the first time, but eventually you'll have to start peeping them early on save yourself from drama heartache, just unnecessary BS by paid paying attention to the red flags. Let me give you an example. I'Ll give you an example of a red flag that I once ignored that you know you may not think it's a red flag depending on how it's delivered to you, a red flag to me, is when you meet someone and they're trashing, the previous person they dated Now I know that, typically, when you first start talking to people or like near the dating stage, oftentimes people will discuss their previous situations or their experiences, because it's just because it's something that people do whatever there's a way to express that yeah. I was in a bad relationship, you know that's just it is where it is, but especially if you meet a man and he's talking about how crazy this ex was, how crazy that X was that X cheated on me. She dogged me out blah blah pay attention to that, because just pay attention to the way he's telling you it, because some people will do that because their goal is to Garner some type of sympathy from you and then they'll. Have you put your guard down and then you date them, and then you realize? Oh, I see why this ex did this or you know like you quickly, learn why they experience what they experience, but just I think I think it's crucial to pay attention to that. On top of that, most times, if someone is coming to you talking about how terrible this person was and how terrible that person was and how crazy they were, and then you experience them and realize, okay, they they aren't crazy, you're. The crazy one. Just know that when you're done with them, either in a relationship or in a friendship, because friends do this too they're going to do the same way. They'Re going to tell the next person how crazy and insane you are and how you're this and you're that they're going through the same thing so that that's a a red flag to look out for, even if even like, within friendships. If you have a friend that tells you everyone else's business, like all their other friends business, they will more likely tell yours as well. Maybe not yet, and maybe you don't know it yet, but they're telling you everyone's business yeah don't be shocked when they tell yours, because what makes you special you know, P.S, I'm so pissed off, because I turn my hot comb on and I thought it was on This whole time - and it was but I guess it has an auto shut off so now I have to wait for it to get hot again all right. The next thing I've learned in my 20s, this one's a really big deal. No for a fact that when you pray to God and ask for certain people to be removed from your life know without a doubt, it's going to happen, and I say that because each time I have prayed for God to either expose people to me or simply Remove people who don't have my best interest at heart the way certain people will just start it's just it just happens almost immediately. Now I got ta prepare myself. I'M like okay, like I know, for a fact that when I say this prayer, it's going to happen. Probably faster than I even wanted to happen like I wanted to happen, but it's just each time each it doesn't it never fails. It happens. So quick, I'm just like am so just just know that that's one thing: I've learned without a doubt, if you pray and ask God to remove people who are bad for you who shouldn't be around just know, what's going to happen and don't be shocked when you Lose your closest friend or when you lose the relationship you're in like don't be shocked. I'M gon na use this like trimmer thing, because I feel like it cuts better than scissors. I believe we're on number 13., that is to leave past people in the past, and this I'm mainly referring to friendships. I mean I'm referring everybody, but I've had friends that, like I've cut off that have tried to come back around and even if there was like a small part of me that I'm like, oh you know, maybe they can't come back around when I didn't. Let them come back around their reactions confirmed to me that okay, like you, were smart for not letting them come back around because clearly their intentions weren't good, hence why you cut them off in the first place, if you cut people off anyone, it's for a reason. Don'T forget that reason, just because time has passed, don't okay, because you wanna screwing yourself over when I end a friendship, especially because it takes me a while to end a friendship. I I I keep that door closed I'll, be cordial. You know like I. I won't always be mean to people I've cut off, I mean, usually I just don't speak to them at all, but, like I've been cordial in the past. Okay, like I don't hate you, but I'm never gon na. Let you come close to me again because I removed you from my inner circle for a reason believe past people in the past, and that includes exes too. I don't have that issue because, usually not usually every single time I cut off an X or in the relationship like it's almost like they're. This is going to be a very strong word, but like it's the only way I could describe it. They'Re like deceased. In my head, so I just simply that's just not my gig, but if you are someone who maybe your ex still texts you none of my exes could reach out to me because they're all blocked. So good luck, I mean one of them used to email me. A lot, but he finally stopped when I told him like yo, stop email me bro, but um don't fall for that, ignore it. Please ignore it. If you made the decision to cut somebody off stick to that, unless you have like a super valid reason, not to the choice, is yours bellies I've learned to leave past people in the past. There'S only been one time in which I've uh, I wouldn't say this counts because they technically weren't in the past. We didn't speak for some months, but I always knew that we would come back, can be cool again, so that doesn't count so number 14 trying to cut this lace perfectly without messing it up. I have learned the importance of self-care and by self-care me like having a nice like bath or shower routine. You know using fragrances to make you feel better to improve your mood, just all of that in one little bubble. I'Ve learned how important it is because, in times of which I'm like down and out just doing my skin care, my body care will improve my mood. So much because it's it will never be a bad thing to take care of yourself, but you have to determine what taking care of yourself looks like to some people that could be you journaling to some people that could be you taking a really nice bath or A nice bath bomb and bath oils, like everyone, has different definitions of self-care, but the reality is in your 20s, at least. For me, I've learned it's. It'S really crucial, it's very important and to not neglect it, because it definitely will improve your overall mood and just your overall sense of self I've learned number 15. Is I've learned to forgive people when appropriate? Like I stated earlier, there's been times in which I've experienced betrayal within friendships and obviously that's not ideal. You know, but there's been times in which I've chosen to forgive friends, because I recognize that they made a mistake and I just felt like it was a mistake that we can get through and if you're honest with yourself a lot of times. People are so much more forgiving when it comes to like their boyfriend or girlfriend versus their friends, and their friends be going through more with them or they've been around longer, and I just feel like some friends, not all, but some friends deserve the same level of Forgiveness, you're gon na give to someone you're in a relationship with are honestly even more forgiveness, so there's been friends of which you know I've experienced betrayal with they're. Just you know, we've had a falling out, but I have chosen to forgive them. Those friends are very special to me because if you couldn't pick up on it, usually when I cut someone off, that's it, but there's been a couple friends: I've had that you know: we've had some hiccups, but because I really value the friendship and because I just Know that person's heart or their overall character, I chose to forgive them and move forward with the friendship and we just rebuilt our trust, and I have no regrets. Am I tweezing this enough? Okay, that's looking good! I couldn't tell okay number 16 that when you think negative thoughts, you attract more negativity, and I know that sounds like a no-brainer. But some people don't realize that some people don't realize just how powerful your thoughts are and how your thoughts can manifest either positive or negative experiences. Some people don't realize that. But I've realized that I've realized that when I'm thinking very negative and I'm allowing just negative stuff to get to me, more negative stuff happens and I complain. But I'm like well wait. You'Re kind of giving more attention to the negativity, and so the negativity just sees that hears it whatever and it's like oh she's, giving me a lot of attention. Let me give her some more and boom. We don't want to cut that. No, it doesn't look like that right there. I, like that I've learned that negative thoughts will a thousand percent attract more negative experiences. Now granted life is gon na always life, so like you'll go through negative things, just just on some random stuff really but oftentimes. If you are just focused on the negative, oh no, oh, why that was really messed up great now I have to freaking, lift it. Oh, that was evil to do to me. I completely just almost ruined this wig We're not gon na talk about it, though. Oh, my gosh, that would have been so freaking bad. I cut off too much lace in one area what the heck, but you know what it's: okay, I'm not gon na focus on the negative, I'm gon na focus on the fact that I could fix it and just keep on going, but no um. Basically, if you're focusing too much on negative, you you'll create negative anywhere, you go and you attract more negative and I've definitely learned that it's definitely a thing number 17.. I have learned the importance of sleep and good rest. Okay, there's been times where I've gone through phases, where I was so focused on working or achieving a certain goal that I didn't sleep because I thought I just have to keep grinding grinding grinding. No, you need sleep in order to get things done, you're, not a machine. Our bodies, they're, not machines. Of course, there's gon na be a time and a place when you're working hard going crazy whatever. But you need sleep in order to do that. So don't think you're doing yourself a favor by missing sleep in order to grind no you're gon na Crash and Burn. It'S happened to me every single time, so I've learned. Oh, that's going to be really pretty how important it is to actually sleep there's times in which I'm going through like a phase where I'm like, I'm so inspired and motivated that I'm like. Oh, I don't want to go to sleep. I just want to keep working and I'll like fight my sleep, it's I regret it every single time because, because you can't even physically work your best when you're tired you can't it's just not a thing, you could try, but it's not sustainable. So it is important to allow yourself to rest there's times in which I'm taking a break, but because I'm so like my head's in the game, even if I'm taking like a break or I'm trying to relax, I'm not truly relaxing because, mentally my mind is still On content or work, you got ta, allow yourself to rest and take breaks from this. It is the only way to get enough energy to do your best work. As I said, I've learned the importance of sleep. Oh, this is looking better, I'm just customizing it to fit. Like my hairline number 18, I have learned to not allow negative situations in your life to make you feel jaded. Here'S the thing it's very easy to allow certain situations to make you hate the world. Trust me: I've been there. Sometimes um like the world, makes me sick. I literally hate it here. It'S very easy, but I feel like. If you want to be happy long term, you can't allow certain situations you've experienced to like Harden your heart and make you Jade it to where you don't allow room for any new or positive experiences. Like me, for example, if I would have allowed my last situation to make me jaded and just I don't know mean and anti-min and just I hate him, they can all choke. I would have been so upset because I I didn't mean someone who's like amazing and it just worked out perfectly. So that's why it's so important to like not be JD, because you just never know you know you could be going through situation after situation and they're bad and you're like what the hell like. I didn't get any worse than this and then you could meet someone who just changes all of that, but you want me to meet people like that if you're, jaded and you're not giving anyone a chance so I've just you know: I've learned to not allow certain Situations that didn't work out, or even just life stuff, like things that have gone bad, I've learned to not allow it to make me jaded. Even with social media there's been situations, I've experienced that have really turned me off from content. I'M, like you know, I love content though, and although I had this bad experience all in all, I really enjoy creating content and for the most part I have a positive experience, so I'm not going to allow this negative experience to you know cause me to stop Creating content, because I'm not doing something that makes me happy that I really enjoy so it's very important to oh. This looks so good to not or just try your hardest to not become jaded when it comes to certain situations, because you just never know when things will turn out for the better. You know wow, I kind of like how this looks. I'M gon na plug the part a little more, but I like how this looks the no baby hairs. I just this looks really cute to me. This video might be along with you guys and for that I apologize I'm gon na try to like edit it to where it's not super long, but if it is long, I'm so sorry, okay, we're on number 19 we're almost done number 19.. I have learned that your family does not always have your best interest at heart, and now I say that because you know we expect our family to be our number one supporters, and you know like we expect them to be in our Corner, always have our best Interests at heart: that's not the case. That is not the case, and I'm here to tell you it's okay. Is it hurtful a worse? Is it unfortunate, of course, but it's the reality. You know. Rather, people are family. People are people, you know, and sometimes your blood. They won't have your best interest at heart. They won't care to protect you. They may not even support you and that's. Okay. I just don't think I know it's natural to have high expectations of your family, but sometimes your family will. Let you down more than a stranger would, as you get older, you'll learn to accept it when you realize. Okay, like it just, is what it is. But in my 20s I have learned that I have a whole side of my family. That literally hates me for like no reason that you should literally comment negative things anytime. A makeup page will repost to me so yeah that whole blood is thick in the water is a damn lie to me, because I have family that, like literally like they hate that I even have success, they hate it. No, no legit reason either. They just do so. In my 20s, I've learned that um, just because of your family, doesn't mean they're gon na have your best interests at heart. I'M gon na like cut the front part just so. Oh look. I have more glue right here. Not me lifting literally cut the front part, so it's like framing my face a little better and let's read number, why is my flat iron burning? Oh it's something on it. Oh, let me wipe my flatter. I don't know if you guys need to smoke. Success comes from consistency being yourself and support. You know the people you have around you, so there has been many times in which I have felt like. I can be more successful than I currently am, but one of the number one things I've lacked in my 20s is being consistent. I other two. Now I mean I've always been myself and now I have even more support, but it's the consistency I feel like when you're consistent with anything you're guaranteed to see results. It may take you know a while, but when you're consistent, especially when you have passion and something, let me not get ahead of myself with these scissors, because I'm like where this is going, you have to be consistent. You have to be. You could be extremely talented right, you could have the best personality, but you got to be consistent and put yourself out there for people to see it. You know you know like, of course, I feel like I deserve all of the success I have, and I want more because I feel, like I don't know, could have been hit a million subscribers, if I'm being honest, but I haven't because I've not been consistent. So you know this year, I'm, like you know, I'm gon na be consistent because that's that's like the only thing I'm like lacking is just being consistent. I have the talent I like my personality, you know I'm true to myself. I have all the support I need now. I have to be consistent and actually show up to work. I have to do the work if I want the results and I'm finally learning that, like I feel like I've said it before, and I was aware of it, but I I've also. I don't know if it's because, like my phone is able to hear my conversations or read my mind, but I feel like I've been getting like, recommended a lot of videos on that on how like you really need to be consistent when it comes to sorry when It comes to like posting, or you know doing it is doing whatever it is that you do. You got to be consistent with it, but I'm like you know what let me like apply myself, because each time I have been consistent, which I mean it hasn't been many times, but there's been a couple of times for me to have enough analysis or well. You know: that's not the word, I'm looking for I've been consistent enough times to have enough evidence that when I'm consistent, I I get pretty far with that. So I'm, like you, know, you've been consistent for a month before and you saw where that that lets you you've been consistent for three months before and you saw where that lets you now, let's see just how far you can get being consistent for a year.