Natural Hair + Chat: Opening Up About My Problem...

Foreign, I can explain, I was ready. I was ready to do my hair and reset my hair on Monday, and then I realized that I had to do my taxes, because I tend to put things off that I really don't want to do. It'S a really bad quality of mines, and it leaves me in a tight situation. I had to file to do my taxes late. I got accepted. It literally waited until the last day to file your taxes late, and that was on Monday. Of course. Of course, that was on Monday the day I needed to wake up early and do my hair long story short. I didn't do my hair because I had to do my taxes - okay, so I'm gon na have to retry again. I just wanted to show you guys that I was committed. Okay, I even bought a plant. I was committed, so I say this to say: we're still rocking the damage. Look! Okay! That'S what we're doing today's gon na be a hair and chat video. I need to set a timer for myself, so I can be organized. I'M just gon na be refreshing. My hair I'm kind of low in product I'm gon na, be using as I am leaving conditioner as my leave-in conditioner, and then I'm going to go in with this that they actually sent me. I don't even know how to pronounce this their name oi. I realize with damaged hair, your hair needs more especially my ends. It needs more product to stay moisturized and it needs a heavier product or it's just going to suck it all up, because your ends are dry they're damaged, so it needs a lot to be moisturized. So I'm going to start doing this thing where me and my boyfriend actually used to do these check-ins to see how we're doing like how we're feeling within the relationship - and we would call it like your love tank. So I would tell him you know of, like. Oh how's, your love tank doing like Is Your Love tank full. That means he feels loved like he feels good in love through the relationship. His knees are being met and blah blah blah, and vice versa. For me, you know if my love tank is full. That means that you know, I feel good in the relationship. I feel less. My knees are being met and all that stuff like that, so I thought it would be cool as a anytime. I do these kind of videos just to be like hey how's, your mental health tank how's, my mental health thing just to check in and let you guys know like give her overall of how I'm doing in this moment it. How I'm feeling and stuff like that - and I think it's also a good thing to check in on yourself like how is my mental health tape doing am I feeling fulfilled like in my feeling, like I'm meeting my own needs, am I taking care of myself? You know how am I feeling mentally mentally first because that's important, but how do you feel overall and I think, whenever you're checking in on your mental health tank, you can realize what you may be missing and what you could just like do more for yourself. There'S this podcast called: let's get real, they do like mental health check-ins in the beginning of the episodes in the podcast, and I love it so much because it reminds me of like the love tank. Check-In 25 means, like obviously like it's low 50, is like half and half kind of thing like and then 75 means good, but could do use some work and then obviously 100 is like you're good, like you're, fully satisfied, you're fully loved. You feel feel fully good. So when I asked myself how's my mental health tank feeling, I would say that I feel right now. How do I feel I'll probably say my mental health tank is at 50? Maybe it'll probably be even be lower because I don't feel like I've been taking care of myself really that much, I feel like I've just been in like go, go go mode and you know I do work out. That'S something that I have implemented. You know on my last I think Karen Karen chat, video. I said how I wanted to start like working out more and I have been working out more um and I feel really really good um after work. Whenever I'm done with work, I meet my boyfriend at the gym and we have literally not every day but like we'll, do it as many times as we can Monday through Friday yeah. It'S not like we're focused on going like every day. If we do cool, if we don't, we don't, but at least we want to go like at least two times a week um. So that has been great. That thing, that is something I've been doing for my mental health and my body, and I feel really really good. I hate going as you guys saw in my last video I don't like going. I don't like the preparation. I don't like that, but also the cliche thing when people say like when you're done with the workout, you never regret it. You always feel good so that I can say I'm proud of myself on, but other than that. I can't really say that I've been really taking care of myself that much like the self-care things that I want to do like I see, even with my hair, that's something that's important with me. My nails are trash. I need to shave my face, which is a periodic thing that I do because I'm a hairy person and I have a little peach fuzz in my eyebrows, blah blah just knit little things that may not matter to other people that matters to me um. I need to do my nails, my toenails. I just want to take care of myself, so I feel like that. I haven't really been doing. I'Ve been seeing my family a lot more, which makes me feel good because I feel like I'm. You know spending time with them so and work has been good. I'M grateful that I've still been at work and everything so overall I'll just say I'm at a 50, that's literally it there's a lot of things that I could be making more time to do. For myself also, let me think about what I want to do to my hair. Do I want to add a gel to it whenever I use a different product like this, I don't know if the gel is going to sit well on it sit on it. Well, sit it's gon na blend in well, and I do not want my hair to be flaking up like. Let me get, let me add a whole bunch to my ends, so my ends don't be dry enough throughout the day, especially now that it's colder outside, but I'm running out of that too, I just need to read up on products um, hmm. What should I do? Should I risk it, or should I just be like forget it well, I'm gon na have to redo my hair tomorrow, so I may just hmm. I may just uh forget it. I think. Am I feeling just like natural curls, and I just want my curls to be natural and don't mind a frizz, because when it dries, it is going to dry up a little bit and it's going to be more frizzy. It'S not gon na be as defined, but do I care no okay? So no like I care for the camera. To be honest, that's the only thing I'm like oh and the camera should I, but then I'm like in my throughout this day. Do I care? No? So so yeah anyways. Next, let's move on from that mental health like, like, I said overall I'll, like I will say I'm good but I'll I'll, say 50 because, like like, I said I've been doing certain things. That makes me feel good, but I'm not quite there. Yet - and I feel like I could be putting in more time for myself, like even like me, posting on YouTube and just doing certain things that I want to do. I haven't been at uh, where I want to be, and just a whole bunch of other things. Like just so 50, it will be where I need to be so that makes me feel like okay, then I need to make a day the where I, which I planned for that to be on Monday, this money coming up when I'm off work. When I don't have to do any other of my other job - and I can make a list of what I need to do for myself to make me feel good to feel that 50, let's get to the meat of the video which is, I have been telling You guys that I've been on like I'm in this stage in my life, where I'm kind of better myself, I'm trying to become more a lot more self-aware, I'm trying to work on my weaknesses. I know my strengths, I know I'm a creative person. I know I'm very like I love to help a lot. I'M creative and I like to help a lot and I'm nice, it's weird when you talk about good stuff about yourself, but, like I know like that part of myself, I guess that's literally, not even that many things, but it's weird. I'M not gon na go into that, but I know my strengths, but my weaknesses, I'm trying to work on that. You know for myself and also just to grow as an adult. I think it's important to grow in life like for me. Self-Growth is like essential to like living. You know like if you're not growing like in my eyes what what am I doing, what am I living I'm just floating through life and I'm not utilizing like? Oh my gosh, my time's up already. Okay, so I feel like at this stage in my life, I am majorly prioritizing self-growth trying to work on my weaknesses and trying to accept my weaknesses mainly and work on them. You know you're living life right, at least for me. If I'm, if I'm always growing, you know if I'm changing and I'm evolving, especially right now, where I am I'm 26 years old and I feel like in order for me to attain the things that I want. You know to fulfill my goals and all the stuff like that. I need to grow as a person. You know if I want to become successful at certain things and reach my goals. I need to put work on my weaknesses, which may be hindering me from some of my goals in life and also potentially having a family becoming a mother. Like you know, I know I'm never going to be like fully prepared to become a mother, but I definitely want to be a good example as a mother to my children and be able to do the best that I can because I feel like a lot of People there's just a lot of people who don't literally think about those things, there's a lot of parents who just or people who just have kids and end up having children who struggle, because the parents, just they didn't realize that life as a kid really affects you. As an adult, so me just realizing that, like a lot of my my things that I like May struggle with or whatever like a lot of, it stems from childhood and just certain things things that I maybe you know and like once again, no parents gon na Be 100 perfect because I feel like I had a great childhood, but there's also like there's things that I didn't realize that I'm like. Oh I'm like this because of maybe something in my childhood or whatever so anyways. One of the things that I have like noticed just about me and honestly this stemmed from like a disagreement that me and my boyfriend had um and one of his frustrations about me, and it's also funny because, when you're in a long-term relationship, you guys know each Other really well to the point where you know each other's like weaknesses, you know each other's strains, some things. You know that your partner may tell you about yourself. It'S a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth, because they've known you and they've seen who you are and also when you realize just certain things within yourself is just one day. I just felt like one day. I was just like hmm, that's it that's my problem. This is why I'm this is. This is a huge problem of mine that has caused me to struggle a lot in life. So the thing that I have a problem with that I am going to really prioritize working on, because it's definitely something that has definitely caused a lot of me to like challenges in my life that I may have not faced. If I wasn't like this, or just whatever I just something that I know that it that it'll help me out in life and will help me grow better as a person - and you know just sort of things like that, like that self-growth, that's something that I really Need to work on in myself, and that thing is, and I'm sure when I say you're gon na be like wow. You literally are just realizing that about yourself, like literally gon na laugh at me, because you're gon na be like we've known this. This whole time. You'Re, just not realizing that no I'm not just realizing that I'm real, I'm accepting it and I actually have like a title for it that it's very just true, so I just just but Jessica Gamble am an inconsistent person. I'M inconsistent when, during one of a disagreement I had with one of my boyfriend's, what with one of them no, I did throughout a disagreement. I had a real when I went. I want to say a disagreement, but a talk. Like me, my boyfriend, we have like sit down serious talks with each other about certain things that we are not okay with within the relationship, and this is just with anybody that I love in my life. I'M a very person that likes to sit and do like how's your love tank feeling. How are you feeling check in mentally all this other things so um yeah that came about that? I'M just a very inconsistent person. Sometimes I say things and I don't follow through with it shocker right for you guys, and that makes me come off as a very inconsistent person and even though my intentions, by the way, unless it's a huge deal to me like it's like I'm, not gon na, Be I'm not gon na not follow through on something serious like big, serious things, I'm I'm definitely gon na. I'M gon na do what I'm gon na say, but when it comes to like small things that I may not deem as priority but to somebody else and maybe or something I don't know like, if I say like hey, yeah I'll watch these dishes before I leave The house or something like that and I don't and then I keep saying like certain little things like that and then I don't because I in my head, I'm like not prior, I have other things, that's more important that I can do in my head. It just deems as inconsistent and that's even with my channel. I realize I'm not consistent on my channel and no wonder why my channel is where it is right now, like consistency overrides everything, consistency is going to be success. It doesn't matter how you know creative. I may think I am or how great my videos. I think I that I think that my videos are I'm never gon na. I'M always gon na lose when I'm inconsistent, because I don't like people when you're inconsistent people do not trust you in a way like they you're. Not. You never follow through you're that person that never follows through you that flaky person and that's just not a good look, but that's a really like eye-opener for me, because I don't want that's, never my intention. Most of the time you know I feel like deep down inside. I know my intention, but my actions may show different to other people and that may deem me as like. I don't care, I'm selfish. I can never follow through I'm trustworthy when in my head. It'S not like that, you know like I actually really do care, and I really you know all that stuff so yeah. Just with that, that's one of my things. I mean there's a whole long list of things. You know that I need to work on, but I just feel like the inconsistency is something that like when I say that I'm gon na do something I need to do it. That is a huge man. I mean you guys know, I'm sorry, but I always have to say my intentions are good. I'M not like just trying to be like. I don't care, but it's like I don't know, and and then I try to think like why I'm at like that, and I feel like I'm, I don't know like I literally like I saw this quote or somebody said something like every day they wake up like A new person like they're, never the same person. I think Kendrick said that, like as he's growing and changing and working on himself he's like never he's, always he's, never the same person every day that he wakes up and I feel like that's how I am like my brain is always everywhere. I'M always changing. I'M always thinking I'm always doing stuff like I'm, not even a consistent person within my personality like I am, but I'm always changing like I'm still who I am, but I'm always changing as a person. So like I'm trying, I don't know I'm just like. I don't know my brain is all over the place sometimes so like, like I said sometimes I'm like. Oh, I can put that off that I told somebody that I would do even though in their head, like in my head, that's like oh, it won't be that big of a deal because I'll get to it, but I have to do X, Y and Z before Or whatever I don't know it's just like I'm just learning about myself. So the point is I'm acknowledging accepting hold on. Let me go get. My gel looks like I'm, not gon na, be doing anything to my hair again today too, but moisturizing it um and, as you can see, it definitely moisturized it's just like. I don't know if you can tell it's just not as like. It'S gon na be like frizzier, because that's just my natural hair, texture kind of similar to having like me having my natural, actual hair natural hair out dang, I literally have no. I literally have no gel left all right. Well, I guess this is. I guess we're rocking our natural actual texture today, I'll just put pull my baby hairs down a little bit in the front um one. Second, let me go get dressed really quick, so I can come back and we'll finish time. All right. I had to go, get dressed and do a couple of things get my food ready, but I'm gon na put this on but yeah. So I was just like if you are always inconsistent or you never follow through know what you say, how are people going to be able to depend on you, Jess, okay, I'm talking to myself out there and the other dresses out there. You know so, even though you have intentions, your actions speak louder than your words. You know what I'm saying and nobody can nobody's inside of you. So it's like you. I really just need to get better at that. That'S even goes to with me being late. That'S when I'm a very I'm a late person, I am that person who's late to almost everything and it's such a bad quality of mine, and that is also ties to my inconsistency and and it's just I just want to get better at that. You know like I just really do so. Here'S my outfit hold on. Let me let me yeah so yeah. What am I gon na do about it? You know I say: oh I'm doing all this talking just chitter chatting, but what you really, but really what you're really about to do about it? What you really about to do about it! You know what I'm saying foreign, so I'm trying to show you guys the outfit, but it's not working. I hate that this is this. Camera is not showing everything. That'S really gon na annoy me, but anyways yeah. So I'm annoyed by this camera angle now because it's way higher, but it's okay anyway, so yeah. What am I gon na do about it number one. I'M gon na stop saying things that I'm not that I can't promise. I really have that bad, and it's only like I said it's because I have good intentions. I really want to show the person I care regardless, if I know for sure, if I'm gon na actually be able to follow up on it, which, in the end, it's better for you to like, like to disappoint and then maybe surprise the person in the future. Rather than over promising something that you don't know and then don't follow through and that becomes and that becomes consistent, you're in you're, consistently inconsistent, you know um, so I'm gon na. I have to really stop saying stuff. You know when I talk about videos and what I'm gon na do in the future. I'M not going to talk about that anymore and if I do it'll be General, it won't be like home, Monday or Saturday in the next week or I'm gon na guarantee V or I'm back, I'm gon na start doing two like. I can't do that anymore. It'S just like stop it's better for you to not to say than anything and just do it kind of thing. So I really need to stop saying stuff and stop over promising stuff. Stop just stop talking. Just hush stress, just hush. Okay, just do whatever you're gon na do and just hush um and then even with my videos like me, even with my inconsistency with posting, I really want to start - and I should have been on this, but I've never been the kind of person that had like. I will have a lot of videos filmed, but I'm never the kind of person that will have videos already edited and ready to be posted. Like multiple videos, you know I have a lot of videos filmed and then I'll edit one post that one then try to edit the other like. I need to start - and this is something that I've learned through my job like having multiple videos edited and ready to go. Then you can that's how you can become on a consistent, routine um, but so you know I want to get better with. Probably I don't know if I'm gon na do it with this video we'll see, but for the future I want to start like not posting a video unless I have like one or two edited already to be post to be ready to post. After that you know. So it could be a consistent kind of thing you know kind of I don't know so these are just certain things. That'S one thing I want to do like, I said not saying anything anymore, um just yeah just and these are other things I just need to work on - I'm kind of just talking, but I'm also kind of telling myself okay like what are you gon na, do About it kind of thing, I'm really like my outfit is cute. Let me show you, let me show you, I'm wearing my favorite skirt style differently, but yeah. So that's my rant, I got ta go. I need to go head to work. Oh gosh. I really need to get to work badly, um, but yeah. So that's just it that's what I wanted to kind of tell you guys you know, and if you're like me, don't be like me and if you're trying to do anything in life, you have to be consistent to win to win to succeed in it. You can't you got to follow through if you say something you got to do what you say: you're gon na do either that or you just don't say anything at all - draw my YouTube life. I'Ve always promised over promise. You guys and told you guys and just kind of it makes me cringe because, like there's people who are not like that, you know, like I don't know it's just. I didn't realize how like how terrible that comes across and maybe to some people they understand. Are there you guys are just being nice but, like you, got ta follow through what you say, you're gon na? Do you know that's what Disney partnership you know if you're in a team and your teammates are now following through and they're, always being inconsistent you're going to kick them out of the team like they're not going to be able to you're not going to be able To be successful, you know people are not going to be able to take you seriously. People are not going to take you seriously so with that being said, that's my rant um thanks for joining me. While I do my hair um, I didn't do much to it. It'S already, as you can see you see, these ends. Yeah anyways, you can see. My hair is already like kind of like getting a little poofy, but I don't mind it. You know my hair is moisturized for as moisturized as it's gon na be with it being. You know not in the most healthy State. I guess. Oh, let me show you a full of you. That'S that all right, thanks for watching that's it

Genesis McBride: I’m glad to see that you posted hope you’re doing well.

Breezy J: I hope you’re doing well

Jennys Mom816: How often do you wet and add product to your hair?

Chy A.: Never been this early

Diamond Gilliam: Heyy

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