The #1 Downside To Going Gray From Dyed Hair

Katie Goes Platinum: Has this ever happened to you? I’d love to hear your stories!

MJA MJA: The "you are so brave" has happened so many times to me....don't really think it's intentional on their part to be critical or negative. I think it forces them to accept their own issues about aging and makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, I've received so many wonderful comments about my white hair and it always is an instant ego boost! I don't remember too many compliments about my natural or dyed hair.....almost never, but having "let it go" seems to give people permission (in their way of thinking) to have an opinion and state it.

Marta T.P.: "Wow" is good and you already gave us the best reply: going gray is not for everybody. Thanks for all, Katie. Spanish lady living in Germany for 22 years. Went grey 4 years ago and never had been involved in this kind of conversation, but in the case that this happens in the future I will know how to reply.

joni4taz: I'm in the US. The same thing happened to me when I went vegan. All the questions about why, how, when, etc became tiresome. I would get to the point of saying I had to use the restroom and left the conversation. In a society where everyone says "you do you", it almost seems silly then when people make comments about your silver hair or any of your other choices outside of what is considered to be the norm. Since I went gray back on 1/21/22, I haven't seen my core group of girlfriends. I did see a couple of their husbands though at a funeral and they said nothing. I think the women are more prone to asking all the questions right?

mbmotto: I am from the US. The only comments I have gotten have been the exact same “are you going to let the gray keep growing?…..that’s so brave!” Brave seems so strange to me but I get it. I will admit that before I started to transition I would have been guilty of saying my gray wouldn’t look as good as other people. At that point I truly felt that some people looked better with gray hair than I would. It wasn’t so much about the hair as a lack of confidence in myself causing me to think that. I am approaching a year and I love the shiny silver I have. However I cannot yet tell what it will look like when I am done I enjoyed this video!

Proverbs31 El Paso: Thank you Katie for this video. First I’d like to applaud you for your honesty and your willingness to help others through their journey as you have shared yours. You look beautiful. Those comments from those “friends” are really more about themselves. It’s been my experience that insensitive people tend to be jealous of your successes and want to bring you down or have you question your life decisions. I have found that most of the negative remarks are from women that I have known for years. Strangers have been more complimentary especially men. The word “courageous” is the wrong “C” word. The correct word is CONFIDENCE. Those comments come from jealous individuals. They lack self confidence to stand out. You shine Katie! Unfortunately we tend to take to heart the few bad comments then hold onto the many many good uplifting ones especially when they come from “friends” or family members. And by the way I too used cloth diapers when my kids were babies and to boot hang them on the clothes line to dry. And no not in the 50’s or 60’s before disposable were invented. Lol it was the late 80’s and early 90’s. Thank you again for sharing your story and all the resources that you provide. I transitioned cold turkey just like you. Last time I colored was November 2014. You couldn’t pay me money to ever go back to dye. I’ve woken up from nightmares that I’ve been to a salon and for a trim and fell asleep in their chair and woke up with dark brown or black dyed hair.

Andee Anko: Hi, you look fantastic! I stopped colouring my butt- length hair just before Covid hit, so I'll have 3 years of silver growth by January. I'm an American living in Ireland. You are right, people tend not to share / over-share as much here, so I do get compliments and the odd "you're so brave" every once in a while, but that's it for the most part. I am and always have been an unconventional person who also does not get into trying to convince others to change. You are right, insecure folks in the past have angrily projected onto me about my life choices - being vegetarian, not drinking alcohol for example. It doesn't happen so much these days though. I find the more at peace I am with myself, the less it happens. Or maybe I just don't suffer fools anymore and people Intuitively pick up on that and leave me alone!

Polly King: I had some regrets at the beginning, but was fully committed to going gray and I love it and am so happy I did it. It's a very personal choice, and as you say I am not here to convince anyone. I have had many of the uncomfortable comments you mentioned (mine would be ugly, you're brave I could never do it, etc). For the most part I just nod and smile and move on. I'm not sure it really dawns on them that it could be a hurtful comment. (I'm in the US.)

Margaret R: People get defensive when someone makes a different choice than they do. Happens lots with parenting: homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bedtimes, etc. people should do what works for them (and their family) and let others do the same without judgement.

Susan Isham: I'm in the U.S. in Washington state, and I am the only one of my close friends who is gray/silver. I've heard all these things. Or, even worse, people don't say anything. Some days I have to keep reminding myself of all the benefits: no hair dying $$, no rigid upkeep schedule, no more drudgery of dying at home or worrying if I missed a spot...Favorite bonus: my hair is SO healthy now with curls galore. I don't like the immediate assumption that I'm older than everyone else in the room, but that's just how it usually goes. Thanks for posting this video!

Rosemary Purnell: Love your silver hair and you look beautiful. I decided to stop coloring my hair during covid and have never regretted it. I dyed my hair for over 40 years and going silver was absolutely liberating!!! I get more compliments on my thick, silver hair than I ever got as a brunette. Haven't got any negative comments at all. I live in the USA in the great state of TX.

Sara Conklin, Frozen Pennies: This is a great video. I love these reflections on society!

Lucia Tat: I believe that the reason people are triggered when we do something differently, is that they also want to do that or know that is the right thing to do for them but don’t go that way becouse of fear or wanting to fit in and it does trigger that frustration of not having chosen that themselves when they see other people doing it. We don’t realize but the most powerful way we speak to people is by what we do, not by what we say and some people can feel attacked or judged by what we do even if we never had any intention to attack their own personal beliefs. I know it is not pleasant when it happens becouse I’ve also experienced it myself.

Adhara Lynx: First time here and I love it! I think this is true in all areas of life. We choose a very different path regarding to many aspects of life and it is very clear how people get triggered ( sorry English is not my first language). Great video, thanks!!!

QuickSilverHair: Isn’t it crazy how you can suddenly become the unicorn in the room in the US? In New Mexico this choice is a norm but still on occasion my hair becomes the highlight reel. It can be uncomfortable after two hours or so… . There is a psychology trick to derail a person’s train of thought and that is to say something really nonsensical and walk away while they order what the hell you just said. For instance, “you know I would have never spent that two years in college if it hadn’t been for that horse.”

Judith Drayton: Love the "wow" response to "I care too much about my appearance to go grey"! My hair is what it is--a mix of colors, mostly grey, thick, curly, and long. I stopped coloring 15 years ago. One frequent comment, "You aren't fooling anyone into thinking you're young with long hair." *sigh* If I wanted to look young, would I grow out this much grey hair? Rudest comment, "What's your real color?" All of them--every strand is exactly how it grows.

Tiny House: What a treat to stumble upon your channel today. I am in the U.S. and have had some interesting experiences with my own hair - namely loosing all of my hair during chemo after being told I wouldn't lose my hair. I was shocked and oddly enough, devastated. I had no idea it would impact me like that. During covid I decided to stop coloring and cutting my hair which is long and white (I was a blonde from childhood which is ANOTHER story for another time). Very few folks had even commented other than they didn't recognize me - but admittedly I don't see many people these days. What I find is how horrible my drivers license and ID card photos turned out in the last two weeks - I look like a ghost in yhe photos. I suppose the cameras aren't meant for beauty shots buy again, I wasn't expecting how drastic the difference from my daily look in the mirror. Hair is powerful. Thank you for this channel.

amy nolan: Perfectly put with humor and lots of great insight!

Sarah Tiekamp: I'm from the US. I've gotten a few comments, but not as many lately. Some have come from my younger sisters, who dye their hair, and are a bit worried about looking older than they are. The gray hair grows in early on my father's side, with my grandfather's hair turning mostly white by twenty-five, and my father being mostly white by his mid forties. I had my first gray hairs when I was fifteen, and now it's a nice salt and pepper and I'm not even forty, yet. I have also gotten a few winks/smiles from people who seem to think that I'm a cougar to my baby-faced hubby, who is actually a few years older than me. On the topic of doing things differently, I've seen too many people get overly critical and/or practically lose their minds when someone indicates that they have a food allergy or intolerance.

no name: its funny how our experiences go...I have only been all gray for a couple of months, having cut off this outside layer of dyed blonde which totally concealed all the gray hair from 9 months of grow out. no matter what I did, that stubborn blonde was always showing front and center. I got sick of waiting for it to grow long and I used a razor tool to shag out my hair. I was stunned at how much silver hair was underneath it. so now I go out in the world and get very interesting stares, and I forget I have gray hair! I will be thrilled when it gets more chin length but its already growing much faster than ever before. I never considered this decision to be one which would evoke these kinds of strong reactions so I guess I better get ready.

Silver Curls ZELDA: You're very right... Going gray is not for everyone. I dyed my hair for over 30 years and relaxed it for the same amount of time before I made the decision to stop!

Dawn Quegan: What you said about: " I wouldn't look good with gray hair"! My response was how do you know? Try it!!

Julia's Hair Journey: Honestly, I probably would end friendships and attending social events with people who mock someone because of their looks, etc.

Hyrunnisa: I am only 29 and I will love it when I my hair will turn gray. I loove loove loove grey afros!!

La La: In Germany I have never had a single comment about my grey hair. I am not fully grey, but stopped dying in 2018 and have salt and pepper :). Coincidently I used cloth nappies on my daughter (13 years ago) and no.one ever commented on that either.

Alyce Oakley: I love my grey hair! Other people’s opinions of me and my hair are not my business or problem.

Kristen W: I love it, great video!!

Silver Curls ZELDA: Your cloth diaper experience was my homeschooling experience with my boys. Lots of unsolicited advice. Sometimes I did not answer in some comments I answered. I'm in the USA.

ScentedKnits: I also get the men who want me to talk to their partners because they want them to stop coloring it, and that's awkward...

Louise Raindrops: You sparkle ❤️

Amandasilversister: I am 17 months in and have had only positive feedback or silence../ lol!