Bobby'S Replacement | Ep 137 | Bad Friends

Hey bad friends, I am going to be playing New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve. Eve shows in Boston, Massachusetts December 30th and 31st. Go to andrewsantino.com, I'm gon na be playing the wilba theater, I'm so excited to be in Boston. You guys, I'm so happy to be playing New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve on the 30th and 31st in Boston, so go to andrewsantino.com for tickets, andrewsantino.com for tickets. Also, look at this. We restocked bad friends shirts. Look at this some of the highest demand, bad friend, shirts. That'S me and Bobby talking closely, and then this is also the bad friends. Mug faces you guys loved them uh we ran out of them. So now we restocked them so they should be on the merch bar down below or it's in the link. The bio will be in the link to go, get those bad friends, shirts pick them up and come see me this New Year's Eve and eve even Boston. Massachusetts andrewsantino.com we're bad friends welcome back to splitting up together three of the best castmates on earth. Once again, it is the return of the mole woman. Oh wait, yeah! Let it play out Pete, that's the way to do it. What is that hey girl is, that is that a new girl I mean New Girl, New Girl, welcome back to everyone's favorite podcast splitting up together, featuring Rudy, Jules and the one and only kalilaku sitting in the hot seat today is you know my last name is Not that's not how you say it the racial slur. Is it really cool? How do you say your last name so much better? That way, isn't it no? Ah Rudy Rudy wasn't here on time. We were here 15 minutes ago. Rudy forgot that it was bad friend's day, she's gon na blame fancy B. Is that true yeah cause? I thought he said Thursday expect your test, your text, yeah. No, I think the original way you said it check your test check Test. Please check your test and then he text Ed again yesterday and I thought he'd change it to 8 P.M, Thursday yeah, but it's Wednesday, 8 P.M. 8 A.M, Wednesday. You know what I found a better, a better you in the Philippines, really who yeah it's like. You know it looked like you, but she's way, cooler looks like you, it talks like you, it walks like you. What do you mean? Is this a woman that you fall in love with so you're, leaving your wife for a woman you met in the Philippines. I know who it is it's your little sister. Oh, is that your little sister, oh Rudy, and is she doing the eat, [ __ ] thing yeah. I don't think that's! Okay. How old is she 14. yeah? Let'S not that's not, okay for her to zoom. In on that she looks just like you, that's so wild you guys have the same um. What is it the thing? You know that people can point out if it's the eyes of the mouth or the nose, it's nose mouth it's right here. It'S just a little nose mouth. This little part right here is the most alike. Do the do the [, __ ] eat thing with your look at me, yeah! That'S your little sister he's in a pod she's, 14 years old, so fancy yeah, she's smarter than Jules. Is she really yeah she's a genius? Is she really she taught herself Japanese over the pandemic, she's, like fluent in Japanese, now, she's just she's, one of those girls that is just so switched on? She talks about her gay Awakening in, like oh really just like, like matter of fact, she gay she's. She they she's well, she hasn't determined her pronouns yet, but she says that she is she's talked about her gay Awakening. Wow pull this closer. I can't hear you that way. Um am I Rudy. Today you are yeah, get closer to the mic. God, man, you brown people, it's hard to control, wait. So she has a gay Awakening. She doesn't know if she's a she she's, not a. She doesn't know her pronouns, that's what it is yeah I don't. She hasn't figured that out yeah. What are your pronouns? She her. What are yours, everybody sees me, goes: ugh, uh, uh, the big cheese, the big Cheeto. I don't, but I'm gon na call the imma call to him. I'M a call to him, but I refuse to like when people put it in their emails or any of that stuff that drives me nuts. I do that in college. I know because you're in a liberal, [, __ ] College college is making people do stuff like that. Now, right yeah, you got to say: do you when you introduce yourself to the class, you have to say your pronouns and even on Zoom, you have to put it on your name yeah, but if you don't put it, who cares? No, but it's just they say it like when the teacher says, if you want just put it it's better. Oh, so it's just a suggestion. It'S not a requirement! Yeah! That'S true! I mean the world is look. There'S a woman running for Orange County Congress names just to bring up a picture of Michelle Steele. I don't know if you know this woman, the one thing she hates the most. What do you think it is that Michelle still the Korean um immigrant running for Orange County Congress? What do you think Michelle still hates the most? Let me think give you both one guess: uh Koreans. Oh no, she loves Koreans. What do you think she hates Filipino China, she hates China? Oh yeah, she did a whole commercial on how much she doesn't like China. It'S very she's like we must stop China. I always thought I wanted a Chinese husband. Did you really yeah because, like for the Moon, my God shoot for the Moon, a Chinese husband? Why um? Because I have a lot of like Korean friends that are female, yeah and um watch this oh [, __ ] did nobody tell you, nobody told you, you have lipstick on your teeth. I couldn't see you [ __ ], Jules, even if you saw it, you wouldn't tell me dude, that's the most [ __ ] up [ __ ] he's [ __ ] up. You know you would you know you saw lipstick on her teeth. I didn't see you're a liar you're, a bad girl also Jules like knowing that I'm single and I need the extra help you're not gon na tell me I will tell you if there's boogers or anything what was there, what was just going on there. You made the decision to not tell her, I didn't see, and she was already talking so I just you're a little [ __ ] scumbag pal, just because you're in a relationship she's single, let her [, __, ] catch and you're out there locked up. So you want, you, don't want other people to prosper. Is that what it is? No, but I thought I had monkey pox. She really did think she had it from your boyfriend. Yeah. Okay, I was good in my body and I told atikulaya's sister and she said, go to urgent care now yeah. Well, if I had the bumps didn't look like pustular, that's the word question. It didn't look like [ __ ], I would have probably just say, said, like hey, like look at the dogs they're, all itching, probably fleas right. You probably just had fleas postular is a word by the way. Is it this type of uh psoriasis cause reddish scaly pus-filled bumps, so you have psoriasis, they were not pustular. Oh give me nope, give me uh, non-pustular red bumps. Let'S see what you could have had, because Google's gon na be better than whatever doctors have to say what the [ __ ] do. They know uh oh 25 causes, so we could be any acne. Was it no cold sore? Was it herpes herpes? Oh, it is a new boyfriend. It wasn't on my lips corns and calluses. No skin tags, no, which is that's, andreas's, nickname a nodule no by the way go back up. How do you even explain a [ __ ] nodule, if someone's like what is it you're? Like it looks it's like I burned myself with a lighter and you're like well, how did you get it like? I have absolutely no [ __ ] idea. If that appears on your skin, don't you think you're dying yeah? Absolutely I'm thinking, I'm dying. If I have a little, it looks like there's a mole underneath my skin. I think I'm dying it. It just looks like a blister yeah, but it looks like a burn blade, but if it appeared without any sort of burning, wouldn't you panic if that's lumped here's the deal? The proximity of a weird skin thing to your genitalia means everything. If it's on your arm, don't care, have you never had an ingrown like a giant ingrown close to your dick? No, oh God, so girls get it all the time because we we have to wax and shave and it's just the worst. So do you have a panic moment as soon as you look down, and you see that you think okay? Well, now I've got now. I'Ve got the herbs. Yes all the time. I think that I I've never had an ingrown hair near the only thing I talked about this today with my buddy Corey. I had one STD in college. I had molluscum. Do you know what that is? Look it up. It'S like a skin rash, but I had full-on panic attack. Do a image it's sexually transmitted. It'S a skin, molluscum uh skin rash. It'S like that is exactly right. This is what you had on your arm. You little you little dirty [, __ ]! This was on my pelvis so that, like I said the proximity of this to your penis, look at what that looks like what do you think that is? It looks a little like syphilitic, oh no, that actually looks kind of like herpes herpes, that's exactly right! So it was on just my pelvis. Wasn'T on my wasn't on my Papito. It wasn't on my Pepito. It was just on the right. It was on the runway and I got ta tell you [ __ ], I spiraled for like three days and I was bawling. I was crying and I was like I and the girl that I had had sex with. I had used a condom use protection and I thought how could this happen? I used a condom. It was on my pelvis and I thought what if it starts to move its way down to my wiener. Is it an actual sexually transmitted disease or it's just a skin, the skin thing, so my doctor said after I finally got the. I was scared to go in because I was scared to hear the truth, so I finally went in and he was like what that's he gave me like a cream and a pill and it was gone and like I'm not kidding like the same day, and he Was like it's a it's a skin rash, it's kind of like you know like jock, itch and all that stuff and like athlete's foot and all these things he's like it's a skin fungus, but it's typically transmitted it's actually because it gets around this area a lot. You know: what's so [ __ ] up this is so mean to say, but she looked like someone that would give me molluscum if you never even knew what it was. If someone goes that girl gives Santino molluscum he'd go. Oh yeah. Can I guess what she looked like go, please go for it. Did she look like a smashly dark hair? I think her name was Ashley. Really I swear to God. I swear to God in my life she has the dimples on her lower back. You better believe it does. She have a tattoo in between them. Yeah, you better, believe it. That'S. The thing that her generation will never have to experience is like [, __, ] stamps, and all that they're coming back, though, are they? Oh yeah, 100 girls are getting [, __, ] stamps again wow, because what because you got the the thing you've stolen from our generation, you guys are wearing really really baggy jeans, that's our that was that was our childhood, really baggy jeans and also you're stealing brands From our generation, which is [, __ ] insane to me, like stucy's, the biggest it's ever been, it's huge stussy's, huge dude, and do you know what this is no yeah? It'S back now. Young people like it you've, never seen this. When I was a kid it was dope it's now it's cool! It'S like cool again, it's just so funny. You guys are stealing all of our [ __ ]. Well, I hope you steal all of our dumb [ __ ] too, like lower back tattoos. I hope you guys get a little bit of that sauce. It'S you better, not get a [, __ ] lower back tattoo. Don'T do it Jules also, though they steal some elements of it like the low-rise jeans, they're back, but they don't know how low we went. Our zippers were this short, tiny, little Zips in the late 90s. Can I say that on the show I love them tiny little Zips, both Asian, we accept tiny little zippers, but we did. You had low rise, your p and they were. The cool thing was back back in the day to have your pants so low that women would sometimes wear like men, boxers or like uh, boxer, brief underwear, and then they would rise above them, and you could see both of them that [ __ ] was hot. On Tick Tock they have the song thing, that's a whale tail! That'S my it's a whale tail! Yeah! That'S thievery! Yeah! You guys are stealing. You know what the [ __ ] up thing is about fashion you'll, see some [ __ ] and immediately I'm like yeah. This is just someone took a took a shot. You just have to take a shot and look weird. You saw the tape girls. Did you see the the tape girls? Do the black tape, girls, runway models wearing only black tape? This is a this guy, [ __ ] has tricked the world. This is insane he went to. I don't even know it was like yeah. It was Miami. These women are literally wearing electrical tape over their entire [ __ ] body, and this like blew up in the scene. People are upset. I know this girl by the way. I personally know this person she's worked with a friend of ours, uh she's a model out here in LA and she went down there to do this campaign she's so hot her name's zida yeah. This would leave me a interesting trail of eczema. Look at that contact. Dermatitis big time you wan na you'd want to talk about ingrown hairs, but here's the thing zoom in a little bit. How do you get that off your titties that doesn't hurt your nipples when you're ripping tape off your tits? Well, girls are used to suffering, though, for the sake of fashion. That is something that we just kind of um have done our whole lives, because a thong is not comfortable and also the Beastie yeasties you get anytime. I see a girl with on with a thong on I'm like oh she's, rolling the dice yeah. You know a Beastie sees it right around the corner, just rumbling down there, oh my God and like it, doesn't catch the discharge. So you know it's just oozing from the side Drip Drop. We should invent something to catch. It though, like okay, I'm okay with the song Part being really thin, but it's got to have a bigger [, __, ] catcher or the juice catcher yeah, a pjc, a [ __, ] juice, catcher, just a little cup. You know, like the I learned about the um, I learned about the uh menstrual cups, menstrual cups, wow. I learned about this. This is I copping. I thought was something completely different. Michael Phelps gets the okay. Okay, that's an Olympic thing. Have you ever cupped? Have you ever done a menstrual cup? Oh I've done both and then I did old school cupping yeah. I'Ve done cupping on the back yeah yeah um, and then Jules tried to teach me how to use a menstrual, cupping wow and I couldn't figure out how to get it out. So I was in the cold, hard floor of my bathroom having to like birth. It out you had to why, because it was so, it was just so attached. I had to push it out like it was a baby. I something happened and I'm totally scarred by it, but all these girls - they just do it so efficiently, and I I'm just not wanted so you only be cupping wow, it's so much better for you. Tampons are like toxic. I know I read this whole thing about tampons with the amount of bleach. That'S in there, it's like really bad for you anyway, and then the women that get. If it you know if they stay in too long. You get uh toxic shock syndrome and you can die from it, which I heard years ago when I was a kid I think, like my mom to my sister or something that it was like, you can't do that all night, you can't leave a tampon in all Night and then, as I got older, then you read all this other stuff that they're like it's dyed: cotton, it's yeah! So it's like bleach cotton sitting inside of your body all day. So I get the cup dog. You be cupping, it's so much easier, but you have to like force yeah. Does it make a suck noise yeah? And then you have to pull it to make it tight, so it won't go out right. Yeah, yeah, I've just opted to free, bleed, you'd, be free. Blading, if I'm home - and I have nowhere to be I've - I freely tight and the dogs love it. That'S too much wait a minute we're there already, because the dogs can smell it and they love it God. I really want to show you a really bad video of my dog just going ham on my show me free, bleed, panty, so wait a minute. They eat the panties they like live in it. Oh no show me the video you know what's interesting about my dog. Is uh she's a little she's a girl, and when I come home she always sniffs. She always goes to my crotch. She wants to be up on my left up on my legs to bury her head in my crotch. Never does that to my wife. Ever never does that to her. She always wants to be down by her legs. But when I come home she puts her head by my crotch and even when she's done sniffing she'll turn her ear to it. Like she's listening yeah a little [ __ ], a cockshell yeah, you can hear all the [ __ ], I'm not getting in the cockshell far far away. She will, though, she'll put her head right and she'll rest her head underneath my balls and it's so funny because when she sleeps when she jumps in the bed with us, oh, this is what I do want to know when she sleeps in the bed with us. I think, when she's on her period, the dog will come to my side of the bed. Your dog doesn't like your wife's panties. No, no does not. In fact, in fact, by the way you know how everybody's doggy there's like panties or socks or underwear or the dogs, always have like a thing, some dogs traditionally have shoes and all that stuff none of these things, except for dirty shorts, dirty my running shorts. If I leave them in the other room, yeah loves because I think it's [ __ ] and ball sweat and she really likes [, __, ] and ball sweat. This is just a pervert, my dog, that way pal. No, but she is she likes [, __, ] and ball sweat. I think that that she likes that smell that, like maybe she wants her dick clip, it flip it for the internet she, but it is funny she does not she's, not a penny dog. Both of your dogs are panty dogs, all of the dogs, but it's not just my panty. It'S everyone's panty like I've, had people over and have lost three or four underwear. Julio Julio is a big corporate, but they take turns so like. Usually Julio will go first and when he's done, then Gobi will kind of tag him. You know tag herself in here, I'm sending it to you, fancy wow the video. It'S amazing, I'm I'm so over your knee yeah, it's so funny. After all, after how many years two years, I told her to pull the mic closer, you both of the Filipinos in this [ __ ] room by the way, thanks for the invite to the Philippines fancy. Well, it was such a wonderful trip. You you missed, like you know he, he was a ray of sunshine. It is so funny because we texted we texted. While he was there, because we were trying to organize all this [ __, ] and uh. I can tell fancy got a little dose a little dose of what there was one point where I was just so proud of fancy for sticking it to Bobby and saying you know what you're going to need more discipline than this. Did you go for it? Huh? You told him what the [ __ ] is up yeah. He said he was going to stretch me after that. You want me to stretch you out what an idiot, by the way he's such a [ __ ] liar the guy, told me we were texting for a second a second and he said uh he has food poisoning. Did he tell you this lie? Did he get food poisoning there [ __ ] liar? I knew he didn't get [ __ ] food, but no you know I I saw Imodium at home, so I think it's true. It was just had bubble guts, not food, poisoning, um, because you know food poisoning lasts. Food poisoning lasts. He said that on the plane he had to get up every two minutes, but you know um. He does have a very sensitive stomach, softy tummy yeah. Am I crazy, or is this an exceptionally hard to open, let a man do it, but I just realized that Bobby is like a writer who doesn't like to write. You know he a right, a writer who doesn't like to write. He has like yeah, he hates the process of making things yeah, but he likes to have them made. Yes, all right. Let'S, let's check out this video, oh my God, so that was a pair of panties with blood on him and you just work out, sweat. Workouts! Oh, my God rolling in it rolling in it. That'S insane wait for it. Oh my God look he's like seizing! Ah [ __ ], oh pushing oh, my gosh, but you know, like every man, look what he does at the end. When he's done, when he's gotten what he needs, when he comes look what he gets when he needs after he's, had everything he's ever gotten he's toiled around he's, ripping it apart a little bit. Oh yeah, I have so many holes on all my underwear, but I just can't you know they like it. So why would I this is like a post-workout on? Oh, when he's done, he just shakes it off. I got ta get out of here and then the second one comes in right. After a tag, team yeah tag team feels like that one's a good one, that's insane they like it so much. That'S so crazy. Is this super common and I just don't know golden? Oh look he's taking it she's a little bit more delicate about it. She just likes to chew. That'S the cuddle. Just A Lover see that's a lover yeah. I just want to nibble on your little dirty panties. Imagine that's something if they asked you they're like. Could I nibble on your dirty panties and your other dog is like Bears, give up give me the [ __ ] penis give them to me now. You should sell your [ __ ] panties, to dog owners. You know how much money you would make doing that. That'S your new: only fans, only dogs, only dogs with kalila, you sell your used. Panties I mean. Can you imagine the amount of money these people that are selling their used, [ __ ] online? I saw a girl that sells just her [ __ ] dirty socks. Nothing else no nudity. No none of that [ __ ]. She was making 20 grand a month. Does she have 20 grand a month name because that girl, the fart girl, the fart in a jar girl? She was already on 90 Day, Fiance, no yeah. She was famous, this girl is a right. This girl had been established as something else on the internet before I see, but even still who the [ __ ] is buying you socks. What are you doing with them? Oh well, never mind I for a second. I was like what am I talking about. I wonder what they look for like. Is this sound because I don't I've never had smelly feet in my life? Never never! Okay! You work out all day long at the end of a long day and my feet have never and my feet sweat a lot they have never smelled whatever do you have smelly feet only when I wear my socks for a week, oh well, that makes perfect [ __ ] sense yeah, you wear the same pair of socks for one whole week. Do you need some money wait? Why would you do that? You don't want to change it. I don't want to do laundry chip station. Hey you guys the best time to prepare for growth. Uh is before the opportunity arrives, especially for online businesses. 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You become a better Problem, Solver, making it easier to accomplish your goals, no matter how big or small they are talking to. Someone helps. I don't care what level you're at of finding out about yourself, but I got to tell you speaking with someone, definitely helps clear your mind and help you move forward in life to get through stuff or just to keep the train moving along. If you're thinking about giving therapy a try, better help is a great option: it's convenient, accessible, affordable and it's entirely done on the internet. Wherever you are, you can do it. You can get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and switch to therapist. Any time you want, when you want to be a better Problem, Solver therapy can get you there visit betterhelp.com bad friends today get 10 off your first month. That'S better help.com, bad friends. Can I tell you something I just buy it. This is new. Those are new socks dude. I like new socks, so much when I'm traveling and on tour. I will bring three pairs of socks for one day, one for the plane, one for like when I go to work out and then one for when I go to the show I have to change stock. You don't like the feeling of new socks. I don't really care okay, but when you take them off there for a long day, they don't they're not like yucky and no no smell your feet right now. It is yeah but just smell your raw foot. What are we talking? Nothing, nothing, maybe maybe filipino's feet. Don'T stink yeah, I don't think so: white people's feet, stink, yeah Bobby sweets, think really bad yeah he's got that kind of white guy in him a little bit sand. That'S a San Diego Highway feed! That'S how that is whose feet do you think stink the most out of the crew out of you guys who do you think for real out of the whole crew? I can George see I my instinct is George, but I, but I got ta, tell you something something says Carlos might have some stanky ass feet. Oh interesting, I should know this, I'm I am his lover after all. Well, you guys yeah, I was just gon na say this. Trist that's been going on between you. Guys is just look. I approve just because you know everybody loves a good mixed baby, so at least he's not a normal, maybe Mexico yeah because he's not or Philly Max cuter Philly Max. You got ta name him Philly Max. You know it took this long to realize that Will and Jada name their kids, Jaden and Willow after them. The internet just did a whole thing on it, and I literally did the same thing you just did. I was like. I guess I never thought about that. At all he's making a comeback by the way Will Smith is? Do you see what he's doing you see the movie he's doing holy [ __ ]? Is this a way for him to come back and not have anything be said about him at all things called emancipation All Is Forgiven. I don't give a [ __ ]. If you hit Chris Rock, I got ta tell you. That'S amazing. I'D love to be a part of something like this, but I just know that they're just gon na cast me as that guy, you know what I mean. I say I want to be a part of a movie, I'm going to be the crazy racist white guy. It'S like you're not belong here boy right there, my grandma was a redhead. Was she really son of a [ __ ]? You got any red blood in you baby. No! No! I know I can tell that's a great jungle out there, but there's no Ginger um show the video to kalila. I want to show. I want her to see this. This is this is very funny. So so let me give some preface to this. This is a local news station. You know, local news is always great fodder. You know what I mean. It'S always good fodder, um, not local. Here. This is Texas, sorry, but uh. It'S Halloween time almost and boy, oh boy, you know the goblins and ghouls are out, and this lady is both of those things go ahead. A worst case scenario is that you unleash hell on your kids and in your home. Jamie Gooch is a mother of three and the owner of Gooch Family Farm Troy. I love everything to do with house and home. I believe everything starts here. It Grieves me the thought of exposing our kids to Darkness. The whole movie is based on which is harvesting children for blood sacrifice. These people vote these people live and you've got to get. I hope the Big Stone comes soon. You'Ve got to give her a break. It must not be a KitKat. Is that what you're? Talking about it can't have been easy growing up with a last name: Gooch yeah, that's true, [, __, ], Gooch, Gucci, cooch, there's something that I realized. This woman is Evil by the way sure, and you I can tell you um a clear-cut sign, is that she rarely blinks yes, when people when people don't blink, I'm like how how like what what demonic force is, allowing your eyes to stay open when the wind Is blowing go back and, let's just go from the beginning, turn off the volume? Let'S just see how many times, if she blinks she's a redhead yeah, no she's, not this right right here, holding tight pause it on the fam love got ta love the gooches. How Gooch to the left is gon na be a cutie. I think yeah Aaron Carter type, yes yeah, he might, but I got ta tell you something daddy gooch. This is what happened. Look take this the wrong way if you want to America. This is what happens when you stay at home and you got nothing going on and you're focusing too much on stuff. That doesn't mean anything because no offense, I don't think she does anything all day. She may have a job. I highly [, __ ]. Doubt it because she said the house and home is her only focus and you got to know she spent too much time and after the house is cleaned and the kids are fed and they're off to school and papa Gooch is off selling in [ __ ] Insurance he's slinging that [ __ ] life insurance, she's at home, she's cooked everything, she's cleaned everything, she's sad, the wine is gone and now she's, focusing on what's infiltrating house and home Hocus Pocus too the evils of Disney Plus good for her dude. You know these people also hated Moana, because you know oh well, we know that tracks. I look, I don't think princess, I think princesses can be brown, I'm just saying. I don't think they are brown. That'S what I mean that what I meant was like the same argument about [ __, ] Little Mermaid being black, I'm the biggest Little Mermaid fan like I know, not just all the songs. I know every word from beginning to end. Do you really? I can recite the whole thing: I've got who's it and what's up thingama Bobs, I got 20 20., but who cares? I want more what a good movie by the way, also a redhead right and by the way, keep her red. That'S why I'm against The Black Mermaid keeper red, but she does have red hair, keep her white and red so stupid. We should be more concerned with them, drawing penises in the castles that they used to do. Remember that in the priest getting a boner yeah. Do you know about this? Do the penis castle for The Little Mermaid cover? This is like one of the most classic things on planet Earth. The original animators drew a penis in the original artwork of the castle. Look at that [ __ ] right. They do like subliminal stuff right, yeah, the sex, the owner. Do. The priest gets a boner show that image in the middle of them getting married on the boat. The priest is [ __, ] rock hard, because a little boy, I think walks by in front of him moment before foreign. So there they are getting married on the boat right they're, trying to stall the wedding right. Who is the sun's going down before the sun? Sets on the third day, that's right! Oh there. It was and look at the priest's legs. When you look here, you see it, it's very subtle, hold on. Let it play out because I bet they'll show there. It is, oh, my God, that's disgusting, why would they make him have a boner, but I get it. She does look hot there. Little priests are horny yeah, they don't get the [ __ ]. These guys don't get the [ __ ], unless it's somebody's kids, bad people, priests, not all of them, just almost all of them. They had a campaign, not all priests. That just did not do well think about Kanye's White lives matter shirt, Jules. What do you think did you see it? I saw some a bit of clip on Tick Tock, because you're anti-whites we've talked about it on the show. You know this right, she hates whites, and we love that that we are pro your hate for whites. And what do you feel about this now? Do you hate Kanye? I think yeah yeah, you do, I think, really liked what um Charlemagne said about it. It was super, it was sure what Charlemagne said was actually extremely um like extremely well set. It was like everything he said. I was like that's a good point. That'S a good point that, like everything he said beat by beat, was really really good, because I think that you know he Cycles in and out of his Seasons. Kanye does but there's you know several times like some Seasons, he really does seek white validation. 100. He that's why he plays this game. That'S Candace, [, __, ] Owens. You know who that is right, she's a republican political pundit. But what I find interesting is that you know how he made a big fuss about Adidas and all of these Brands allegedly sort of like stealing his work and profiting. But there is a small um designer who apparently he stole all of like the creative stuff from who's, not getting a lot of the credit. Didn'T they sue him too or went away. I mean something happened where, like he got into a or he or he or they um settled out of court or something like that for stealing some of the designs. Here'S the biggest problem think about the little Asian kid that made that shirt. That'S what I'm more concerned about these white lives matter shirt, they're being made by little tiny Jewels, little Rudies, your little sister, your little your little mouth V sister! What'S her name, Isa, Issa right! That'S really sad is that Jules is just now getting into older, Kanye albums. Oh, it's so good! Yes, it is so good. It almost makes up for all this kind of con this stuff, it's just like when you see why lives matter, I go. What are you doing this guy's, an idiot, then you, you know you go back and listen to College Dropout and you're, like you better believe it's [, __ ], it's worth all that stuff college or what album do you like the most? I think College Dropout yeah. It'S so [ __, ], good, there's a serial killer, Stockton right now, yeah yeah! Are you serious? I didn't think serial killers were a thing anymore, Stockton, serial killer everything we know and don't know so far. How many people has a guy killed six whoa. Six is a lot who was killed: 35 year old, Paul Alexander Yao, 43 year old Salvador Williams, at least he's being diverse in his murder, 21 year old, Jonathan Hernandez Rodriguez. Oh, there is a theme yeah. There is Juan Cruz and her Lorenzo Lopez and God bless the dead and God Rest the dead. Sorry about that, that's disgusting, so this guy, the 46 year old black woman, is the only known survivor of the shooting. Oh he's: shooting people, that's not a serial killer. That'S insane yeah, I feel like that's not a very clever way to yeah a gun is a cop-out. By the way, do you see all the [ __ ] heat that that uh uh whatchamacallit's getting from the lgbtq community um Dahmer they're they're pissed, because it was in Netflix's subcategory as lgbtq? Oh [, __, ] yeah and they got [ __ ] livid about it? Not crime and they were like - why are you sexualizing this guy homophobic hypocrisy and differing reactions to yeah Netflix, uh, resurrects, Dom or triggering criticism by the way? Have you guys seen it? I haven't yet it's [ __ ], awesome! It'S this kid! Evan Peters give whatever he wants, give him all of it. What he was Manson right, he did Manson wait. Did he do Manson and um American Horror Story? Uh? Oh right! Isn'T that what he did yeah, I'm almost positive, this guy's [ __ ] dude, he's awesome. Yeah, I love him and look at how ambiguous he looks. He looks like he could be everybody and nobody. He looks like a little bit like a Jesse uh Eisenberg a little bit there. There he looks like a guy played high school basketball with and the bottom one. He looks like the guy and there he looks like a sexy sexy serial killer. They did buff him up too, when he takes his shirt off. Do Evan Peter's, shirtless Dahmer, but Dahmer was not buff. I thought it was kind of scrawny. No, he was actually kind of a good sized guy, because that's why he was able to hold down all these other victims. Look at him up. There go yeah. No! That'S! Not it that's not it, that's not! It go to one of the frames up top from Dahmer. Look at that. Hey, oh Rudy, see he's hot yeah, yeah yeah. This is the guy on the left is a guy that was jogging. That'S not him! That'S not him! There you go there, he is, you know what I mean. I hate to say it. Do you hate this hand, though I'd? Let him kill me, stop it. That'S awful. I mean we're more his type than you because I think he liked um Southeast Asians. That'S not true black men, mostly black men, oh but definitely like um, but I guess you're closer to a black man than me. Yeah. Of course, you kind of look like a black guy. Well know my mom, like Filipinos right, like in the mountainous regions, before Spanish colonization, we called them before his people. Don'T shake your [ __ ] head at what your people did you scumbag for Education before whoa this guy's, a bad person turns out before we enslave your people and gave you books? Is that what you tried to say you pig? I was so proud to tell him when we got to the Philippines I'm like do you know that this is where Magellan died, where he was slaughtered, yeah scumbag? How did they kill him? I hope they killed him slow. Oh, it was like this. So I'll tell you exactly how they killed Magellan, so it was actually in the water, so the Spanish Fleet would come in yeah and they would try to. You know walk on very shallow water to get to the land, and so these men would hold their breaths underwater and when the men would try to walk on the water they would like emerge from the water and just so dope. That'S so [ __ ], dope, Magellan, you got gas and my little breath-holding Filipino little like Lapu-Lapu, was like four foot: five. He had to jump up, grab him and then throw his throw right. Yeah. Can you imagine he's like trying to get this little bit? [ __ ] little tiny Filipino off his back. What does a Filipino little person look like? That'S got to be almost non-existent like an LP Filipino um. No, we have a lot an lpp yeah, it's just you down with lpp yeah. You know me um yeah, just like a regular little person. No, they got to be shorter. There'S no chance, they're, not smaller. Look at how tiny most of your people are. Oh, oh, my God. It'S like a collector's item. It'S like a wedding cake, topper! That'S so cute, that's like one of my bobble head guys, that's like what you get at a baseball game. It'S little person Filipino collectors night. I you know what I hate to say this or brag about my country, but we have way cuter Little People. Your little people are very cute zoom in on these two, these two lovable items by the way - and this is back when you're talking about this a time period you can tell from how old this is. This is back when people in general weren't that good looking. You know it's like you go back in time, there's way more hotter people now than there's ever been and there will be exponentially As Time grows. You go back in the books. Almost nobody was good. Looking like what what year is that say on there? I think it's because there were 18 what 1940 19 foot go. Okay, Google Google photos right now of, like average family in 1914, and look at how [ __ ] ugly. These people are gon na. Be you just go with Google image, let's see what the average family in 1914 look at the [ __ ]! Look at how wretched these people are horrific. Look at that little girl down on the right. Look at how ugly that kid is I'd. Leave that outside not bringing that in wait a second. This is what the average people look like horrific people, but don't you think it's because of like vitamin deficiencies and all right now, you're making fun of whites. I understand, I know what you're doing. No, it's also because we just didn't know how to care for ourselves at all at all. Look at that, let's just see you you ate till you died, you ate and drank whatever you could, but I mean in some cultures like you know, more meat really was the beauty standard right. The fatter, you were the better. You were yeah. Look at all these look. Look at my look at the mama by the way: she's 19, that mother that's what a 19 year old woman looked like in 1914., where do farts go when you hold them in um, because I held one in today and I'm not kidding my eyes, hurt yeah! Well, I used to do that a lot when I was working at Abercrombie, folding clothes um. I would squat down and I don't know why I like the image of you. Folding t-shirts, just like just holding in a fart like the [ __ ] out of here, get the [ __ ] out here, I'm following your shirt. Well, I'm not a crop duster! That'S just not my vibe! Really! No, like! I don't like to ruin people's days like that, so I would. It would bubble up to my kidneys and I would have extreme flank pain and I could barely walk home because I had to walk home after work - and I remember just like always just being in pure suffering when I'd hold him in. So they go somewhere. Probably out your eyeballs at some point because it hurt the back of my eyes, hurt I held one in so deep and it just hurt my it just it just was so uncomfortable when you block a fire from escaping some of the gas can pass through your Gut and be reabsorbed into your bloodstream, you got fart blood from there. It could end up being exhaled through your lungs coming out of your mouth via exhaling, so you can actually burp a fart. Is that why bad breath happens? Oh that's exactly what it is. You'Ve been burping a lot of farts in this room. Sometimes I always. I always hold my fart in school. That'S why look problems babe? You got ta, let it out yeah or else it's gon na come out your mouth, but it's gon na be smelly. I know, but would rather have a smelly, a burp mouth or be in such excruciating pain that you're probably hurting your insides. My mouth, okay, see what I mean. I can't believe you can get a fart. You can fart out of your mouth I'll. Tell you someone farting right. No, oh, that was such a polite. One. That'S mostly almost is like so more unattractive than a yeah. It was too cute. Well, I'm I held it. I just squeezed. I squeezed my farts uh, make the the onomatopoeia of like a town in the Philippines. Isn'T that sound like a town from where you're from yeah my farts always have a name of a town from the Philippines? Doordash hey! You got back to back meetings, errands to run and shorts, to take care of. What'S the secret to clearing your to-do list, a Little Help from doordash we've talked about doordash, so much on this show Bobby uses it. I use, it Bobby loves to use it. When he's out of Los Angeles because he gets freaked out and he doesn't want to go to a restaurant and he doesn't know what to do where to go, so he does doordash whether it's last minute school supplies, impromptu dinner, fresh flowers, for that special occasion with Doordash there is a neighborhood of good in every single order. 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For 25 of your first order of the doordash subject to change terms apply so when Andreas got these wigs, he was he was like this is for the thumbnail. Okay, you have your hair net. I got ta pack, the hair net right, so I work in a cafeteria honestly, you you look like uh, you still look like a woman. Hey look is that a woman's hair that you guys bought is that a chick wig? Why that why the hair net? Why is he wearing a hairnet? Oh take that off you don't need to wear a hair net. Why I'm hairy all right, you're hairy, I get it! It'S my dad's middle name. Look at what you've isn't that wild? Oh, my God! What is this? It doesn't really. It look, it looks. I look like a Henrietta, yes, oh my God, I do look like Henry. This looks like you look like a woman from a from like the 50s like the housewife from the 50s. This is like an extra like a house like a uh. Pretty little boxes on the hilltop, okay, all right here we go all right, a long silence. You realize, of course, that we can never be friends. What do you mean? Okay, we'll do it again? Sorry, let's do it again. You realize, of course, that we can never be friends. What do you mean? What I'm saying - and this is not a come on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends. The sex part always gets in the way. That'S not true. I have a number of men, friends and there's no sex involved. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No you don't! Yes, I do. You only think you do you're, saying I'm having sex with those men. Without my knowledge, I no I'm saying they all want to have sex with you. They do not they do too. They do not do too. How do you know? Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her you're saying a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive. No, you pretty much want to have sex with them too. What if they don't want to have sex with you, it doesn't matter. The sex thing is already out there, so the Friendship is ultimately doomed and that's the end of the story. Well, I guess we're not going to be friends, then I guess not it's too bad you're, the only person I knew in New York. What do we? What do we think about that there? Can there can't friendships, I'm a big fan of platonic friendships, of course. Well we're friends, I know, but we've had sex, wait I'm! I really do not want to believe this, but there are people who really think that that's it's an impossibility to be attractive and and have male friends that don't want to [ __ ]. It'S probably easier to be friends with men and women if you're on a. If you are not attracted to each other, it's much easier. One of some of my best friends are men that are good. Looking um yeah decent looking. Do you find them attractive? No, but I'm starting to think if, like I wonder sometimes, if I just like said hey, would you like what they would say? They'D say: yes, I I think we should and would they will and they will say yes, but I know that okay. So if you don't want to believe it, don't ask because they're going to say yes yeah, that would ruin a friendship, they're gon na be like uh. If you want to the problem with men, is men, men may find a platonic relationship with someone that they that know is attractive, but you know they just kind of sectioned it off. But the moment that the woman's like, I think I would like to have sex with you - a man is like absolutely it's like in our [ __ ] DNA to be like yeah, [, __ ]. I'Ve got the [ __ ] a thing. That'S great! Should we test out this Theory? Should I call a friend I think so I think maybe is it a friend that you're okay to lose? I don't know, maybe okay, if it doesn't work out, the phone call doesn't work out. That'S fine! I'M excited it's a friend. Jules Jules we have friends, does it look funnier in this wig when I do stuff like that, ready get closer to the mic? Jules all right. Let'S hear this, I can't do it yeah yeah. I I just realized as soon he was causing. No, no. I can't do that as you were about to do it. I was like this is going to be insane, but I do want I kind of want to see. I can't do it, you can't what you should do for your own home test. Take home homework text him and go. Have you thought about [ __ ] me just like that? You know what. However, you guys usually communicate but then get to the point of being. Like you got ta, be honest. Tell me if you've thought about [ __ ] me, because I want to see if that, because that will be the gauge. If he says um I mean no, but why then he wants to [ __ ] you, but if he says no right away, if it's no right away yeah, it's probably he probably is like no, but if he says anything well, anything like that yeah. He wants to [ __ ] yeah. Okay, that's good to know! You don't have any guy friends because you're with you're with a boyfriend now yeah how's that going fine, she's gon na downplay it so much because I know her she's in love huh. She accidentally say it shut up. You shut your mouth because she's always like you know she always tries to play. You know when you're young you try to play it cool. You know, yeah tell yeah anyone how in love you are, but she accidentally texted me. Instead of her boyfriend - oh my God, what did it say and I'm like Jewel? What did it say? It was like with a lot of AIDS in it shut up. That'S the first part, just the first part. Even the first part, it was like babe with like 18 A's put it up, put it up on the screen, I'm kidding, relax, put it up on the screen, relax, so you said babe and then what did you say? You said otherwise we're gon na say it. I forgot was it anything gross? It was definitely sweet. It was like babe. I miss you so much along those lines, but if you ask her about it, she's always going to be like very dismissive. Like he's good, he doesn't know about the show right.