Black Women Hate Their Hair | Camryn Elyse

Breeyon: The thing is though, your hair looks healthy and LONG. Most black women would love to have HALF the length of your hair. I think the biggest issue that black women have with their hair is the LENGTH, not the texture. The women that wear wigs/weaves-wear LONG wigs/weaves, because longer hair is considered more feminine. I love my “nappy” hair texture. But i only recently started wearing my real hair because it is now longer. When I first big chopped, I felt very insecure. I felt boyish with such short hair. And let’s be honest, shrinkage is real so even if our hair is long, in it’s natural state it’s STILL short lol ‍♀️ i guess maybe that’s where texture comes into play. A looser curl pattern like yours, will present more length. And your hair is absolutely beautiful.❤️

Grace Osas: I agree a lot with what you said. Personally, I don't find any problem with mixed people wearing 4c wigs unless they're actually mocking the hair.

Tiara Williams: Doja Cat is biracial and has type 4 hair. She hates it and always has on a wig, I don't see why wearing 4C wig is such a problem. It's an actual hair type and should be normalized, I also need to embrace my coils more.

Tara Patrice: As a black person who has kinky hair, I don’t have an issue with a mixed person who is wear 4c hair. There are a bunch of biracial people who naturally have kinky hair. And there are fully black people who have loose hair. Black people come in all shades just like hair.

Cactus Flower: Fun fact if you have long natural 4d/4e hair SOME black people will think it’s a wig, I’ve been chased around in Walmart by two black women trying to figure out if my hair is a wig or not. I kept running y’all, we can grow long beautiful hair it’s not that serious, but, Be safe out there guys! ✌️

Anne Banga: This is so true about blackness being a spectrum I have a cousin who has two lightskin parents yet she came out dark brown with long loose curled red hair and green eyes ,so I dont get why people try to limit black people's looks like we can come out in so many different ways without being mixed

itsniquenique45: We have to talk about the prevalence of straight hair weaves. It's seen as the default weave texture for black women. Yet our natural hair is literally the polar opposite. Somethings not adding up!!!

Melissa Mbogo: The problem is if someone who wear their natural 4c Afro hair they would get hated for it but if someone who has loose textured hair and wears a wig with the 4c hair texture they would get praised

Adaora Renae: I’m just trying to understand how black women can wear a wig identical to Zendaya’s hair type but when a women who is half black with a whole black parent puts on a Afro textured wig to represent her mixed identity it’s a problem.

madame paka: Speaking of edges, I'll never forget that black girl that modeled for H&M a few years ago. The one where the theme of the photo shoot "after a day of play". There was a white girl, some mixed kids, I think an Asian girl, and the pretty black girl - every one of them had hairstyles that were disheveled after "playing outside". Only the black girl's hair got crucified by black women. "H&M did her dirty!" "It's the naps for me." "They couldn't get her some edge control?" "I blame her mother! Desperate for a check smh." "That ain't how black hair is supposed to look." "My child would never." Completely ignored the theme of the ad/photoshoot altogether. It sucks because H&M did get checked (rightfully so imo) for doing a racist ad (the black boy in the "monkey" shirt) before this incident, but this time around the tables were turned. Once again, a light was shined on the ongoing issues within the community - texturism, featurism, colorism, etc. I bet the H&M executives were eating a lot of popcorn that day, watching everything play out online.

Marchelle Upshaw: I didn't hate my 4C hair because it was "kinky", but the reaction I got from people for wearing my hair out. What I hated more then anything is my low density. Then I started watching YouTube videos on "wash and go" and eventually learned that I didn't have the texture to do that. So after years of wigs and weaves, I went for locs. Best option for me. So now I can be "nappy" not bother with edges and still be confident and get compliments. I do think women use wigs as a security blanket. A protective style shouldn't be for 365 days.

Akeria: In reference to the Zendaya situation: From my perspective, someone with 4C/kinky hair, it was an issue with representation. Zendaya, a biracial woman, can wear a 4C wig & get the representation. But there are hardly an unambiguous black women with 4c/kinky hair getting the same representation. It further perpetuates the european standard of beauty that says these features are okay on a non black or biracial person.

Truly Mademoizelle: You look beautiful today my dear! That being said, yes--black girls still hate their hair and it drives me crazy!!!! The unholy fetish black women have for lace wigs needs to be talked about Absolutely no one in entertainment shows their natural hair except Chloe & Halle, Taraji, Gab Union and Lauryn Hill. It's not protective styling if you never show it!!!! The only thing they are protecting their hair from is people's eyes smdh.

BabyG: I noticed & find it really interesting that alot of black women who have nice, presentable natural hair—primarily nice type 4 hair, always have a problem with women who have a hateful relationship with their hair because they dont have this type of luxury; which is why I stopped speaking on black women who struggle with their natural hair. If you’re someone who’s natural styles(twist outs, Bantu knots, wash-n-go’s etc) for the most part ALWAYS come out good, or you don’t have to worry about looking boyish or like a 10 YEAR OLD WHEN YOU WEAR IT, then you are coming from a place of privilege that alot of type 4 women don’t live in. I have type 4 hair, and while my “curls” come out nice initially, it does not come out nice once stretched and I look very child-like, which is not what I’m trying to look like @ 24y/o…so it goes in a puff. And I don’t know too many naturals who are grown, that care to wear their hair in a puff EVERYDAY…*enters the convenience of wigs* I wish ppl would give black women more grace while they are on this natural hair curve. We didn’t wake up 1 day and hate & neglect our hair, so it won’t be resolved all in one night: and this is coming from someone who’s been natural for 10 years.

Jay: As someone who grew up in a caribbean country, I want to say it is easier to find a way to love my 4c hair. I already love my hair but what I think had an infleunce was that I would see girls that look like me wearing puffs, afros, plait, protective styles and others that I cant think of. It just takes a little more work to maintain 4c hair and with no one to see also wearing their 4c hair and stylist refusing to do 4c hair. Im sure it would be really hard to have pride in your hair. Im not saying we're free from texturism and the occasionally "nappy" comments. But nobody is going to take kindly to it if youre surrounded by people with 4c texture and have 4c hair yourself.

Erica Phelps: THIS!!! Also the myth that out hair grows when we “don’t touch it” irks me to no end. I have my hands in my hair (lightly) everyday and my length is flourishing. If your hair only grows when it’s under a wig you’re more than likely just perceiving it that way OR your haircare routine isn’t right for you.

Akeria: I definitely agree that there is a lot of work for black women as a collective to do! We’ve got to start caring for and loving our hair and release the attachment to hair types that don’t look like ours!

Zahra: Every now and then I hear black women talk about natural hair, it's shocks me how it's still socially acceptable to say negative things about kinky hair types. A couple of years ago, I remember talking to a middle aged black woman on the bus, who was going natural, tell me she doesn't like or want the "afro" look. I have natural, type 4 hair, and was giving her hair growth tips. Another woman said, on another occasion, that she was glad she didn't have "nappy hair." Older generations especially have no filter

Rebecca Saintil: We need to pour more love into 4c hair. It’s gets such a bad rep and our community makes it seem like it’s a curse to have it. But to those whose have 4c, your hair is beautiful don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤️❤️❤️

Aanya Mallick 🇯🇲: Also, I've plait and wet my hair before and wore an afro to school and I've been told(granted I'm Jamaican and Jamaica is a predominantly black Caribbean island with more African influence) that my hair was "big" and "distracting" when it was wet and I had immense shrinkage, they told me to put it I a poney tail and I didn't . It's the same thing with locs, they would tell a Jamaican with locs (also, in Jamaica some rastas are rastafarian so it's a cultural and religious thing) that their hair should be cut, like when my neighbour was registering his son into basic school and he had to cut his locs because it wasn't allowed. Lmaoo I guess this is because Jamaica isn't really free from British rule. As you said about biracial women wearing 4c hair "it's for clicks and views and to boost their ratings" is sooo telling of Jamaica's tourism because they will use Bob Marley as a tourist attraction but won't allow Jamaicans with locs in some schools. Also I use blue berry bliss products , yeaaa Aussie is for loose hair but it works for mine tho(the deep conditioner)

Miss Pisces Dreamz: The beginning was nothing but facts! I am Blaxican. As I've gotten older I've learned my hair and wear my hair in natural styles. As a teenager I straightened my hair at all times. Early 20s I wore an afro and a lot of black ppl would tell me to do my hair and I would say I did. I literally washed and combed my hair out. I got my first weave and fell in love. I had leave out all around that way I could put it up in a ponytail. I only felt pretty when I had a weave. I didn't like my natural hair anymore. My leave out was getting damaged smh. I stopped getting weaves because my stylist moved. I always encourage my black girl friends to wear their natural hair. Natural hair is beautiful just have to learn to care for it. Some women never wear their hair out and that's sad. New subbie

Kay Dubya: Most ppl hate it, because it's the most hated on. I.have a dark brown daughter that has had THICK long hair reaching her elbows, since she was 17 months of age.. Now she is 7 , almost 5 ft tall, and it reaches just above her navel, when stretched, BUT at "full shrinkage, it barely passes her ear (above her shoulders) She gets treated COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, when her hair is shrinkage , vs "trim day, when its blown out. " And I don't mean different like "just compliments" . Im.talking about being treated differently as in "getting FREE merchandise from stores.. (even when I say she can't have something because of her behavior , a person will say she can have it because she's so pretty) Even to the degree of " little old ladies and men her grandparents age GOING IN THEIR PURSE GIVING HER DOLLARS FOR BEING PRETTY , and too many other perks to name.. The caveat.. I swear we can go to the same store on let's say a humid or rainy day, or a day when her hair is full shrinkage, and THE ACTUAL SAME PERSON, won't even speak, won't even crack a smile, when dealing with her ( basically if her silhouette isn't her long mane of hair, there's no reason to look at her, "which is why I have taught her years ago "not to get excited over corny ass ppls obsession with her hair, and not to even value compliment. You know you are beautiful, you know what your hair is , so if somebody likes it "good for them" it means nothing TO YOU. And they need to GTF off Zendaya. I have a 22 y.o. biracial daughter who looks just like her, and HER HAIR IS BOTH she doesn't have to put on weave to look like her hair is 4c...Neither does Zendaya Her hair is almost like a curly white person's hair, blow dried, it appears kinky like 4 c hair.. My 7 year old has way more hair than her, and literally had to have 3 boxes of relaxer,, the one and only time I gave her one..

RealityCheck1993: I have a lot of thoughts about this, surprisingly . 1) I actually think throwing away the hair chart would only exacerbate the problem you spoke about (where people are looking for hair hair help but are unable to find it and become discouraged), and simultaneously ignore the root of the problem. I see all of these stories of girls (who weren't black) who grew up with wavy hair or curly hair who didn't recognize that they just had a different hair texture than people with straight hair. They're hair would be frizzy and puffy (because they didn't know how to define their texture properly), and because their peers would mock them or purely out of shame from their own realization that they were different, would go on to flat iron their hair to death. On a similar note, trying to do a twist out on my nape, which has a looser texture, is exceptionally different from trying to do a twist out on the side of my head, where it's tighter. While over-simplistic, the previous chart did help me find more women with hair textures close enough to my texture to help set style expectations for my own hair. Moreover, the LOIS system still relies on tightness being defined as a spectrum, but this time with no real way to define or discern one level of tightness from another. It's just "loose" or "tight", which brings back the same problem as saying that someone is "type 3, type 4" or "curly" without distinction. I think that the problems are that A) the old system should be a gateway to finding a general community, and you specify from there with LOUIS, but even now we cast both systems as being antithetical to one another, causing people who ascribe to one to see the other as superfluous B) black girls and women are so caught on the myths of our hair's limitations, that we refuse to believe that the tightest textures could be long, define to curls, or do what the other textures can. 2) I refuse to entertain another conversation about wigs and weaves and self-hate in black women without discussing the environment of black women. Any and all validation I received about my natural hair has been from another black woman. ESPECIALLY when it was short. Every man who has approached me has only done it when I had braids, or pressed hair. Hair companies will pick a looser textured model to represent curly hair every time-- never 4C, even if they also mean 4C too, unless they are specifically targeting black women: then it's a toss up. The Pantene Gold Series was the most pro-natural hair thing I've ever seen in the public zeitgeist, but go to the Pantene Gold Series page on their website AND LOOK WHAT KIND OF MODEL THEY PAID TO HOLD THE BOTTLES. Not to mention the route mechanics of caring for our hair. That girl wasn't saying that her mom's hair was ugly, she was saying it was a lot of work. And she's right. My straight haired dormmate in college had a 45 minute wash day, max. Mine was never less than an hour. That doesn't include drying time, or styling time. And god forbid I dared to take my bun down that week and brave the Houston Humidity. The shrinkage will make detangling a nightmare. It takes a different level of time and skill to care for natural hair, as opposed to braids or a wig, and depending on the weather where you live it may not even carry you into the next week without more maintenance, so long as you're shooting for the optimal health of your hair. I know plenty of black women with great hair who wear wigs because it's a good way to both minimize haircare time and not have to worry about the stigma of cornrows at work or school. And don't get me started on corporate life and natural hair. I'm not saying that there's nothing to be said about women choosing to shirk the change they themselves they want to see in their community, but I am saying there's more to be said about whether we've ever considered that there are many black women with tighter textures who wear their natural hair out, but they aren't the images uplifted by the male half of the community, or media (though StarPuppy makes a good point about scene continuity in movies or shows, that doesn't account for indoor shoots for images), or social media? Has it occurred to us that we never had to ask them to "care" about our lips, hips, or dancing, or how we speak? And I think there are literally entire book loads to be said about discussing the faults of black women in "pedestalizing" looser hair textures without discussing all the ways they're penalized socially when they don't. I'm just tired of seeing conversations about black women's issues being blamed whole hog on black women with no context. This take is as old as Adam by now and it just reads lack of nuance and compassion.

R.K.C: It’s like some of them don’t want to ascend past the trauma. When we call them out on bashing natural hair they use the excuse that black women were taught to hate their hair. If there are blk women who moved past that hurdle and learned to embrace their natural hair then so can they.

Kamryn Trammell: People have to realize that sometimes you have to be the representation you want see. If you’re mad a mixed woman wore a 4c wig and was represented in mainstream media, maybe fully black women should also wear their 4c hair out more. The new age natural hair movement was cool and all but it grossly excluded type 4 hair types even though the main consumers of natural hair content/products have type 4 hair themselves! This internalized texturism is not going to stop with gatekeeping. It stops with self acceptance. Of course there is still societal pressure for people to appeal to a Eurocentric beauty standard. But take a look around at the influence black women have had in recent times on that standard! The full lips, the bbl epidemic, streetwear…all these white women swooping their baby hairs and getting braids/locs…shit these white women are wearing wigs and weaves themselves now! The standard has and will continue to change. Black people are the blueprint! So let’s try love and embrace type 4 hair till the rest of world has no choice but to!

Romelda Fuentes: At the age of 11, my mom relaxed my hair. Therefore, I never learned to care for my hair. I no longer have a relaxer, but I’m trying to learn what works for my hair. I have different hair types including 4c. Let’s be real, the fact that wearing our natural hair became a legal dilemma, it tells us how far we came. It’s going to take time to revert the damage we have encountered because of having 4c hair. I was married to an African man who hated my natural hair, and he is from Africa. The damage is deep, and we need to be patient with each other. We don’t know what people have experienced that has affected the way they view themselves. Tolerance is my new monogram for 2022!

Kendall Glover: Yes, I had to deprogram myself from thinking that I needed to use all these products to get my hair to hang down and be super defined. I'm biracial and I've had people act like I got ripped off because I got type 4 hair. Now, I pick my hair out, moisturize it and wear it big and fluffy and it feels so soft and amazing. Also, I think that the natural hair movement did more to stigmatize type 4 hair than make people actually like their type 4 hair. The movement really put loose curls on a pedestal and made people perceive undefined/kinky hair as bad, unmoisturized, damaged hair.

faucikillspuppies: I think everyone, including our own people, put us in a box. Whether it is in regards to looks, personality, the way we speak, etc. It is doing us a disservice. I'm sick of people trying to gatekeep blackness. I'm sick of people assuming things about me based on however I wear my hair or because I have lighter skin. I'm sick of people saying that a black person who doesn't speak a certain way or act a certain way is acting white. I'm sick of people assuming that all black people must feel the same way about everything. I can't tell you the number of times people assumed I must be a bot or a troll who stole some random black woman's picture just because they believe that all black women must think alike. I just want to live my life without people putting their personal problems, feelings, and preconceived notions on me. I know this was about our hair, but I feel like this goes way beyond hair.

Aliyah Harmon: Sadly we’re at a disadvantage when it comes to our hair since we’ve been taught and conditioned to not like it. We’re still in the baby stage of embracing our natural but I think we’ve come a long way in the last 10 years alone

The Only: As a mixed race woman with 4A-4B hair I’m so glad you touched on these subjects. When I was younger I can say my curl pattern was way tighter even around a 4B/4c. I was taught by both sides of my family. (That being black and Mexican) that I had the WORST hair, and a “mixed person wasn’t supposed to have hair like that.” After all the tugging, and degrading I went through just because of the hair that grew out of my head, I can totally understand why so many black/biracial women and men hate their hair type. I wasn’t completely black, in fact I definitely fall on the very light shade of the spectrum, yet I was taught to hate my “blackest” features. So admittedly, I hated and still to this day strongly dislike my hair. I wrap it up under scarves, braids, wigs etc to hide it but recently have been embarking on my own self love journey. This video has brought so many realizations to me that I try so hard to ignore. So thank you! (Sorry for it being so long and dramatic, but I truly felt this video was on my recommendations for a reason!)

Emma Ganta: I’ve never been insulted for my natural hair by black or white people……..yes white people did a number on us but we absolutely love some of the scars they gave us. I’m sorry but white people don’t walk around screaming at us that our hair is ugly. Micro/ aggressions, silly questions or even distaste will never excuse that fact that we still fucking worship them and that’s the tea ☕️

Rachel M.: I love Zendaya. She always switches it up with her hair! In my humble opinion, black women who complain about their type 4 hair are those who don't want to invest the time to learn it. Anything new will be trail & error. No way around the error part. I discovered type 4, natural hair influencers on YouTube in 2015...I didn't look back. Our hair is truly magical, and what I've learned in the past 6 years is textured hair falls in line with water and repetition. She needs a routine schedule. I grew my kinky, coily hair nice & healthy. From a big chop to the middle of my back in 3 yrs (could only see true length when stretched of course). No protective styles whatsoever; other than two-strand twist on my natural hair every so often. I was dedicated, found out what works, and now I don't spend a lot of time on my hair. I wash/condition once a week and set in a wash and go. Just like a plant, our natural hair cannot be ignored or she'll dry out, shrivel up and fall off.

Sara L: Zendaya was not appropriating 4C hair. If anything it was appreciation. If Zendaya was appropriating, you can easy argue that black women are appropriating Asian and Brazilian culture by wearing their hair as wigs and weaves. I understand why some women were upset but it definitely is not appropriating, especially when there are mixed people with 4C hair.

Alex King: 1st off I agree about abolishing the hair type chart, as a person who has multiple hair textures it’s confusing. 2nd I don’t think that black women HATE their hair. I think that everyone tries to look their best when they step out the door. They pick clothes that flatter them and accessories that make them feel confident. There has been a lot of stigma around black hair for hundreds of years and it takes a lot of self confidence to embrace something that has been so stigmatized. Its much easier sometimes for people to slap on a wig than to cultivate that self acceptance (it takes time) I went natural in 2020 and it has been a journey but throughout it I learned to embrace my natural hair. I still wear wigs when I feel like it because its my prerogative. I honestly think that everyone should just worry about their own hair because at the end of the day its just an appendage.

Romerré: Also, there are biracial black-white people with dark skin and 4c hair.

Kayla4217: I stopped wearing my natural hair out for two reasons. One, because at the time I was 16 and devoted to only dating black men so I tried harder to be the ideal "non black" black girl in order to be accepted. After I decided to divest I noticed that my hair was actually celebrated and attractive to other races of men. Great! Exceptttt... I don't think that society knows how to take care of natural hair. We haven't caught up on how to style and show it off yet. I noticed there was never enough information, never the right products, not enough education on technique that I could find IN ORDER TO take care of my hair. So I keep it covered because I simply didn't get the tools I needed to learn how to take care of my hair, at 26. In my generation, the hottest stylists only know how to slay WIGS, EDGES, ETC. I can watch plenty of tiktok videos on how to lay a wig. Much harder to find videos about products to grow black hair, to maintain health and various styles. I think the younger generations are not like this though, there's more information on black hair now, and Black girls are realizing that there's more than one way to take care of natural hair to be long and feminine.

chocolatemodel30: I have always loved my 4c hair. The health of my hair shows it. For me, it all started at home with my parents pouring into us and affirming our beauty. With that I embrace, appreciate and celebrate textures that are different from mine. No jealousy. Only love for the diverse beauty within our race

jo jon: I have never heard someone online agree with me on the baby hairs debacle. I think they look cute when they are not the size of Pringles stuck to one's forehead. I think that we have overkilled the look, and I cannot wait to see it leave. I didn't really know that people lay their baby hairs to look more ambiguous until I saw a girl who was light skinned, like Zendaya but with clearly black facial features, lay her edges. She kinda solidified my dislike for the practice. I do not like baby hairs because it is not a real representation of what black hair looks like, it is phony.

Peggy Gilespie: "We're going to be talking about how black women hate their hair, and how black women hate their hair." Preach! Black women are usually straight talkers, but when it comes to our hair we suddenly become politically correct. Pretending that we wear straight and loose curly hair 99% of the time because we want to "switch it up" and natural hair is "hard to manage" lol. Why not wear wigs/ weaves that look like our own hair though, like everyone else does? Because we think it's less beautiful, full stop.

Shelby Nicole: As someone with 4C hair who loves my hair, good actual 4C kinky wigs are hard to find. I recently made my own and it matched my natural texture so well people thought I took out my starter locs . I love that I now have something that matches my hair type

Taylor Walker: It still amazes me how dark skinned women are ok with light skinned women wearing box braids and locks but get offended when they are wearing 4c or 4 type hair texture wigs. Anyways I liked how you did your hair so shiny and defined ❤️.

Jazz Thrasybule: I hate that she's apologizing. If I can go around wearing different texture wigs than why can't she go around with different texture wigs? How has society become so illogical?

Grace Osas: Also, I really like how your hair looks, by the way. Honestly wish I could style mine this well.

BrightShinySiren: I agree with your points in this video. Except hair typing, as a 4c girl, I can tell you that the division existed long before Andre Walker made the hair typing chart. Putting a name to a thing is not inherently divisive. Once I learned to manage my 4c hair, people started questioning my hair type. Not because of the system, but because of black womens insecurity around their hair. The truth is, most black women with damaged hair think they have 4c hair. Most think dry and frizzy hair means type 4. Once they begin actually taking care if it, their true curl type becomes more apparent. I don't think that it's rooted in deception. I've been in the YT space since 2009 and I've seen many women learn their true hair type over time. It's not offensive. Personally, I ENJOY the hair typing system because it has made finding styles for my hair type MUCH easier. Black women just need to stop being so defensive about their hair and put that energy toward deep conditioning it. PERIOD

HonesltyAnonymous: I do agree with most of what you said but the part where you said people with 4c hair who wear 3c wigs can't really be mad at 3c hair people who wear 4c wigs I don't agree with. I think there needs to be more nuance to this statement. Cause at the end of the day people who have short 4c hair gets systematically oppressed because of their hair texture and length by society. And there isn't a variety of 4c wigs out there. I like to wear a wig so I don't have to dye my real hair and when I did try to find 4c wigs with different hair colors such as pink, purple, blue, green, or other styles it was really hard to find in comparison to 3c wigs, so that also plays a factor. Overall I don't personally have a problem with people with black people 3c hair wearing 4c wigs but I can see why other people might.

Crime Mia River: This is why I refuse to wear silky straight European hair! That is completely off the table! It gives them an instant flex. I've seen it with my own eyes. We really have to decolonize our minds. I wear weave but I definitely don't do silky. Women who I never see any of their hair ever make me wonder, and I assume that yeah....it is shame. It's sad. I have thin 4C hair. Man, if it was thick, and full, and "nappy" I'd be happy. Lol It's not about the texture, it's the fullness

Idara Aquaowo: Thank you for what you said about wigs and weaves! The “protective style” excuse is so tired. Y’all been protective styling for ten years and hair is still damaged . Please stop with the lies just admit you don’t like your hair…the gag is your hair would probably grow if you stopped hiding it. That’s what actually worked for me.

Queen of the Jungle: I don’t think 4c people are insecure or haters. When Zendayay wears 4c it’s fashion and acceptable but if a non ambiguous women wear her natural 4c hair it’s unacceptable or praised as valuable. So it’s not so black and white as dark skinned black women are insecure. And most wear different textures because it’s easier to assimilate into what society deems acceptable. When a woman wants to get a job in corporate America we know different hair types are more accepted..hence people don’t wear locs to the office.

lacasadelmango: This was so point. Thank you for this, as a community we really need to comfort these uncomfortable truths and self hate.

Aanya Mallick 🇯🇲: 6:58 Hey, I love your channel I'm glad I found it. And yes while I do agree people shouldn't drag Zendaya because they won't wear their own hair or more wigs of their texture but also, biracial black passing women can have that texture. My hair is 4b and 4a but I am a mixed passing woman simply because of the length and body. Though my mother is of Syrian decent her father was black with loose textured hair(but then again is mother wasa white syrian). B Simone hair is on the looser hair texture side but she's black. So yes, black women are indeed upset and projecting that someone else can rock their hair texture that they naturally have. It's not Zendaya's fault noone taught them how to love their hair , and I also believe some black women have a parent who has either self hate issues/colorists, or have black parents with "good hair" and thus, they get told "why couldn't you get your mom's hair"

masseiy: I think the system makes it easier for me to find tightly coiled girls try styles that I'd consider and have realistic expectations. It's not just a self-hate issue but an issue of stylists and society maligning coily hair. Coily hair is easy to care for but people don't have the proper techniques and overcomplicate things. Legit just need to shampoo, condition, and style and have people respect coily hair and appreciated what makes it unique.

naomi likayi: VERY LONG RANT: One thing I don’t like about the wigs/weaves argument is how black women constantly use white supremacy as a reason on to why they don’t wear their hair and invest in $300-500 Brazilian straight and wavy wigs. They say it’s because of the looks and the stares and the need for a job makes them look unprofessional. Maybe it’s just me, but I am going to fight for the right to be myself and the way my hair grows out. I am not going assimilate and gaslight myself as being the problem, they are the problem. Call corporate America for what it is, racist. I have too much integrity to go where I’m not wanted. Second thing I can’t stand about the investment of Brazilian over 4b/4c kinky hair extensions is that they feel “why would I invest in a hair type that is as time consuming as mine?” “Why would I spend so much time detangling this kinky hair when my hair is already a problem?” First of all learn how to take care of your hair and stop referring to it as a problem. Second, a lot of these hair vendors who sell this type of hair are processing a blend of human/synthetic hair and selling it to us as “raw human hair” when it’s not. With kinkier textures they manipulate straight hair through steaming/processing to mimic our hair patterns. It mats, tangles and sheds more because it’s not real hair to begin with that’s been manipulated. If people complain about the shedding and nape matting of Brazilian hair in its straight state, imagine how it will be for their version kinky hair that they sell. It’s a losing situation from the jump. And then your re-investing $300-500 dollars every 3 years for a straight wig that’s going to mat and shed, with a lace front that doesn’t match and a grid that looks scabby and clockable. Personally I’m going to give myself props and if it comes off as self righteous then idc. I transitioned my freshman year of HS then big chopped my senior year. I learned how to take care of my natural via YT, did my own styling (learned how to flat twist, cornrow) and during this pandemic picked up the skill of box braiding. I have 4b/4c medium/low density hair and BSL length going towards mid back. Wash days do not take more than 1hr for me (with tweaks it took me to get there) I went to the salon for the first time in my life, the hair stylist was impressed with my length and health. I’m spazzing rn but I am NOT a white or non black woman and I don’t want to be. I realize the American work week/day/capitalism has never had my interest as a black person in mind and that includes how I groom myself and take care of my hair in the way it was intended.

Adaora Renae: Exactly!! Like I hate how people think just because someone is mixed that they need to have bright color eyes and softer hair types, Like you can be mixed with black and white and come out with dark brown eyes, type 4c hair etc. Their is no specific look to a bi-racial person.

im_a_chair: The more exposure & representation 4c hair gets, the better.

Sportster832: Watching this video felt like I was having one of my late night chats with a friend. So MANY great points were made. These are conversations that we need to have, but a lot of us are hesitant to admit the self-hate and lies we tell ourselves. We can’t move on until people have that serious conversation with themselves. When you’re spending 2 hours daily laying your wigs vs 30 mins refreshing your natural hair, you have to ask yourself. Is hiding my natural hair 365 days a year really about “protecting” and “saving time?” Another complex we need to address is the fact that a lot of people (especially those in media) only feel confident showing their natural hair when it’s finally long and looks looser due to the length. Yes we know the history behind this and we shouldn’t forget that, but we can’t keep using the past to excuse the present

gabthegreat: I completly agree with what u said. I also wanted to add to the wig/weave convo that a lot of black girls will use the ”well black women were denied job opportunities ja discriminated againt bc of our hair so putting on wigs/weave was out way of assimilating” defence. And i agree, blk women had to wear wigs to assimilate but those times are behind us (or i hope). Im nor american but isn’t it illegal nowadays to deny someone a job bc of their hair?? So the girls rly have no excuse to not wear their natural hair out EVERYWHERE. Ps. I loooved this videoo!!! ur soooo pwettyyyy

I am Sarai: I agree with this video. Years ago before I took the time to take care of my natural hair, I wore sew ins and micro braids until my hair got severely damaged because I did NOT wanna deal with my real hair because I felt it was problematic. I still wear box braids, etc somewhat a lot because I exercise a lot so it’s easier for me to tend to, however I’m also working on trying to learn how to take care of my natural hair while going to gym. Love this video and your hair is beautiful.

Lauren Rosetta: I have big chopped 3 times had a giant fro/curly bush, locs, weaves, color, relaxer, long hair, pixie cut, you name it. I love evolving my look... however, as a black woman to loves herself and has again gone through the journey of loving myself holistically and naturally. I don't like that I have to consider if I'll be perceived as a self-hating black woman when I just so happen to be in the mood for a different hairstyle. Aspects of this video only continue to propitiate that narrative and aren't applicable to all black women. White, Asian, Hispanic, etc. women can do whatever to their hair, and no one questions their self-acceptance and self-love. So why do black people blanket the narrative within the community? I know there are outliers within the black community that may deal with a certain amount of dislike of self but I don't think that solely stems from their skin tone or hair type, more than their experience as a whole... Also, 22% of black women live below poverty so ask yourself if some of these women even have time to dedicate a whole day to the wash day of 3c-4c hair. Or even afford nice natural looking weave or natural hair products. all they know are the synthetic weaves and braids. People work, have families kids, etc. Mindest and lifestyle have a lot to deal with it as well.

SELF-CARE MODEL ATL: I always loved my hair, I just didn’t know how to take care of it. I made it a priority in my self-care journey to learn last year ( & I’m still learning). It’s so much better now. I don’t use the word nappy & never cared for baby hair on me…Literally doing it every day actually thins your edges. I still wear wigs but I am aware of getting my own textures ( I’m saving up ). * I don’t use lace glue ( I’m not doing all that bald cap method stuff ‍♀️ ) My hair is short and takes more time to style. But, I wear it in a a short fro. I don’t like heat in my hair. Great video.

alamaaya: im glad u talked about the romanticization of big lips bc i remember being called fish lips to “resembling” a clown to having dsl to being genuinely complimented over the years

sheslulu: i agree with everything you’ve said because i personally have went through this self hatred even though my hair is what’s considered “more manageable” to other people. i would love if you were to make a video solely talking about the different looks to curly hair that are kinda shamed, such as people who wear their natural hair “messy”/ naturally have an undefined look regardless of texture.

Wynterrrrrr: If I didn’t suffer from alopecia and my hair falling out and it being healthy enough to grow past my shoulders I wouldn’t wear wigs at all. I have been on the hunt for a wig my texture for years and finally found one. Not all black women hate their hair

smh: One side of me would tell black women to "love their hair" and the other side of me have empathy for those who doesn't feel comfortable wearing their hair. Some black woman had their hair damaged at a younger age or there's an insecurity. I believe there should be a balance between weave and the natural hair. The conflict arises when a black woman wants to meet societies beauty standards and that's where the self-consciousness of their hair comes into play.

Love Pink: Colorism, texturism and featurism, anti-blackness. It's not born out of thin air the origins of hair, skin color predated and is perpetuated... dominant society, black collective, diasporas included. People police unambiguous black women, for wearing their natural hair, i.e micro aggressions in the work space. While simultaneously encouraging Self-love, and positivity. Yes people treat you differently based off of what you can and can't change like skin color, features, hair textures. However too much of, or least of either can literally change the trajectory of career positioning; I think the jealousy conversation is outdated and predictable, just like some would think cultural appropriation is. 2022 the saga continues...

Keishauna Nashiera: I’ve been back and forth between natural and relaxed throughout my childhood to teenage years. Im in my mid 20s and have been natural for a few years now. It took some time for me to truly love my hair as well as figure out what my hair likes and dislikes. Now that i know how to manage it, I do love my texture and density. However protective styles give me a much needed break from time to time. it’s ok to not wear our hair out all time. I think we all have to learn to love what we have been given and show love and respect to others. Great video

poot lovato: You were so spot on with this video. everything you have addressed i have thought about. I cant believe how aggressively i was nodding my head in agreement to everything you said, lol. Another thing that really pisses me off is people always complaining about more representation of natural hair girls when we are barely ever seen out in public with our natural hair and it’s still being stigmatized in our own community, and then when we do get representation, it looks “unkempt” because the baby hairs weren’t laid. H&M ad for example, with the little black girl in the messy pony tail, which was the theme of the clothing line they were promoting on their site, and black ppl gave it so much backlash. Also more recently have been observing a lot of black women talking about the “fuck oaklahoma” black girl from Euphoria not being the type of representation they wanted, and was picking on her looks and hair. It’s so frustrating and annoying. You simply can’t win.

Crime Mia River: All this boils down to us being so mean to each other and colonized. It's sad af

nabila: When you look behind the aspects of black women's dislike of our natural hair it's understand of the way it manifests. Someone made a point that the relationship we have with our hair is akin to body dysmorphoa and they are absolutely right. We view our hair as somthing that is "ugly", that no matter what we do if it does not conform to an hyperspecific unyielding standard it is "hard". We belive that our hair is somthing that NEEDS to be manipulated to be considered beautiful and honestly how could we not? From the media (and more damagingly) to the adults around us since we were children our hair HAS been something to perm,flat iron,slick down, or cover up. Even if you grew up with people who praised your natural hair the larger outside influences subtlety tell us our hair is not worth being show cased in its beauty. We'd like to think that it has no affect on us,that we're independently choosing to wear a whole other person's hair over our own, that our obsession with definition and slick is borne out of creativity. That would that be nice and perhaps that would be the case if we as black women had been allowed the same privilege of culture and appriciation other races of women have been afforded,but it is not. Trauma is real and with our hair it manifests as defensive anger and push back when the suggestion to more embrace our natural hair is made. As seen on social media there are arguments like "stop policing black women's bodies!1!", or "Natual hair IS hard" and my favorite "mind your business" have only proven this because when you think about it,why would you ,as a black woman, be so thoroughly against promoting and better loving your own natural hair if it weren't for stemming from some internal struggle? There needs to be less of a tolerance for upholding these euro-centric standards that have been so ingrained into us, and those before us, but, bw need to extend ourselves grace. In that we need to stop expecting our hair to look a certain way, that it NEEDS to be a certain way for it to be "done". Let it be undefined,uncoiled,unbraided. Our hair is not 3c ect and as such it will not look the same AND THATS OKAY. The goal is healthy hair and love regardless of length or style.

Munira Yussuf: Thank you so much for this video. I've always hated my hair so much. I inherited my mother's hair texture and my elder sister inherited my father's hair texture. People always used to find my hair really hard to manage and hair stylists would always say that if I had my sister's hair texture she wouldn't feel stressed on handling it. It broke my hurt very much. Thank goodness cuz now I'm going Natural and at least I see progress on my hair since last year ☺️.

Gabby K: Only people who hate themselves care what texture wig someone else is wearing period focus on loving yourself and a lot of problems you have with other people will disappear and you don’t have to like your hair find a way to wear it that works for you and is healthy for you ‍♀️

R a q u e l: You are absolutely gorgeous & I love your content sis!

Loveleigh Stylez: Finally someone is telling the truth! Excellent video Sis

Ruth Love: If it was a trend to embrace your natural hair and to take care of it like I mean on a large scale, like promoted heavily in the media and by your favorite influencers like singers or actresses wearing their real hair in movies all the time and models wearing their hair in a natural state. Black woman will honestly follow it.

Chanel Hudson: I think maybe a lot of the issue or why so many 4c hair type get upset is because they see a mixed person getting praise and rocking the 4c textured unit and when a black woman with more black features (dark skin full lips & nose) wears their hair they may have found they did not get that same acceptance or praise

THE HARDPILL PODCAST: We not Gonna argue about hair texture but we definitely need to learn the difference between black and mixed women because they are not one in the same.

black gira: love my natural hair always wore it but length was always a factor I always wore it shoulder length. But I was having problems getting it to grow past that. Micro braids and blow outs were my thing. Then I wanted to be like the girls wearing Brazilian. After a while I began to feel childish and not sexy. Pretty but again not sexy and desirable. So it definitely is insecurity and wanting to fit in and follow the latest trends. No matter what style you rock remember to take care of your natural hair.

Sophie K Davis: It's so important more people speak on this and show women with 4 type especially 4c like myself not to be afraid to go natural. I never see world famous celebrities wearing their own natural out. The only ones I can think was Ari Lennox and Gabrielle Union but they still wear wigs and extensions. Colourism does play a role but for Zendaya and Stormy to get that backlash makes no sense when we don't actually take care of our own hair we just cover it up. I went natural 2 years ago before lockdown and do not put anything on my 4c hair apart from a silk bonnet at night or a nice headscarf if the weather is bad. My hair doesn't really have a defined curl pattern either so would say it is the tightest kinky hair and I love it so much now. My hair has flourished so much. I still saw women wearing wigs once lockdown ended and couldn't understand why. We should have used that time wisely and YouTube tutorials are free so we have no excuse.

Patrick Furbert: Thank you for making this video sis.. you dropped the knowledge on folks.

TheShadaeShow: EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THIS VIDEO!!!! I agree with it all! It's like you took everything out of my head lol This is my sign to cut my hair....moving past my mum (she has like type 3a/b hair) saying I don't have the right texture for short hair *EYE ROLL* . I've been goring it and I'm really close to my goal length but I got heat damage from a salon *TEARS* . Whilst there is still quite a bit of kinks, it's just not how my hair was prior to me going tot he salon.....I LOVE MY TEXTURE!!!!!!

Shandra Graham: Whew hunnyyyy I have been so triggered by this, I embraced my natural about 7 years ago and I mean fully embraced, removed perming, I didnt really wear wigs at all at the time, so no wigs, I even hate them now but I do take pics/sometimes act in them for my career...but other than that i hate the way a wig feels on my head, weird i know, but i can only last like an hour in one to do a shoot. thats it! But since Ive been natural and learned how to fully care for my hair and wear it out and proud, Ive ran into so many girls complementing me on how i care for my hair, but that they hate their own or never want to wear it. Im like how can you hate what you naturally have, if you would stop burning it out, pulling it out and etc. you might actually see how beautiful it is. I have never understood destroying whats on your own head to wear a wig. Literally destroying your scalp to put on someone elses hair all the time. i wish we were free from those shackles but honestly the way this world is run i dont think we will ever embrace natural the way it should be. There are too many people with platforms saying that its ugly or unkepmt for people to truly bond around embracing it, its sad. I try to educate my sisters but many of them are fueled by what they think men or the world wants them to look like. Thank you for speaking up.

Chanel A.: Ive been wearing my natural hair all my life but due to some breakage I decided to wear a wig that matches my real hair but I personally don’t like to wear ones that don’t match my actual hair.. I find it weird to have a completely straight wig and edges that don’t even match it

alamaaya: i could argue that loose hairstyles have never been looked down upon/ oppressed like coily ones.

Jay Kennedy: Not to mention, daijah had to grow up with siblings that had finer textured hair and her stepmom tiny has that texture too. That can be challenging. My hair is what would be considered 4C. My mother relaxed my hair since age five. I didn’t know the texture until I returned natural when I was 24. I though it was gonna be a fine wavy texture like my mother’s and her sisters. I was so confused that my hair neither curled or waved. I began learning and understanding it to love it. I just don’t love the narrative that my hair isn’t “done” if it’s in its fro form.

Francesca L.: I agree with so many points in this video. Personally, I have to wear a lot of protective styling because I’m an athlete (just braids tho idk how y’all manage to work out in wigs ), but when it’s off season my natural hair is out all the time. I have a mix of type 4B/4C hair and even as a fully black woman, I was not really taught how to take care of it. I went to a curl studio and since then I’ve been able to take care of my hair to easily. With that being said, I feel like these debates and discourse can be remixed and reversed for anything black women do to their heads. Ideas have been drilled in our heads to think it’s just “common sense” to continuously critique everything a black woman does. We all have opinions sure, but as you said black women are not a monolith. I find it sometimes hypocritical that there is (true) narrative that black people have created so much towards popular culture, yet we can’t participate in it because it’s a reflection on our identity? What other group of people do we look at so heavily? If we have representation across the board (black women that wear wigs, black women that wear their natural hair, black women that don’t have hair at all, black women that have hair down to their thighs etc.) I’m all for it.

karielle scott: Hi i just wanted to say that my mother literally said u have beautiful hair, (like yasss queen) and she also commented and said u have white in you. That really proves what u said in the video is true because she is then basically telling me that she thinks in order for u to have alot of hair like yours, you have to be biracial in some form (note: i have alot of hair like u as well) and i turned to her and ask if i got white in me. And she just was not having it, its like she was being blind to the truth and its really sad how society really damaged Black women and make they believe that black women cant have long thick hair.

Chyna Sky: These are literally my EXACT THOUGHTS.

Shy_ donut: You said everything that needed to be said about this topic

Traffic Control: My mom tried to tell me I needed to do my baby hair ... I definitely did not. ALSO, she just stopped using the term "nappy" when referring to my hair.

s1a2n3 ashd: Ppl don't realize that 3c and 4c hair were never on the chart originally This is why I stopped listening to the natural hair community its toxic And since then my hair has been flourishing

Nesianni: Definitely resonated with this one

A Marie: Zendaya has my praise for wearing that beautiful Afro wig !!!

Lunna Locca: I like the chart of hair types. It helps me find videos with my hair type and products to use and it’s been extremely helpful. Back in the day I would struggle so much and a lot of natural hair care videos was a bunch racially ambiguous women and some men with very loose hair type. I thought maybe what they do would work on me and that was a HELL nAh lol. I just type in 4c hair styles and videos then I get the information I need, learn how to do different styles, how to take care of hair. Just last night I typed in “flip ponytail on 4c hair” and get everything I needed went to the hair store, did the hair style and it looks great

AverageGirl: A YouTuber named GreenBeauty has made a hair texture spectrum that better represents all types of hair. Is it ok if I post a link to that video? I don't like the current hair-typing system because of how rigid it is; this spectrum made much more sense!

Katia Bella: SHE SAID WHAT SHE SAID!

♡Venus♡︎: I have a mix of all 3!! 4a in the front 4b in the middle and 4c in the back, I noticed this a while ago when washing my hair and I had different curl patterns. I don’t know how to deal with it. Could someone give suggestions please

meep: They say natural hair but still change the natural curl pattern. And "no I'm just stretching it so it grows"

Kendra Scott: I think that this issue is more complex than saying that you should love your hair because it is a part of you. Some people don’t love their and I think that it is okay. (To me this is reminiscent of the body positivity debate) For me personally, I preferred the looser and curly hair texture because it seemed like the hair of the YouTubers who had it grew much faster than mine and they could achieve defined curls no matter the length with just gel. Finally on the wig issue, I don’t think that anyone owes it to anyone else to buy a wig or extensions that look like their hair texture. If someone feels more confident with a straight wig on, and can apply it properly, who are we to tell them that they shouldn’t wear it and embrace their own texture instead? I think that this video would have benefitted from different perspectives on this conversation. Perhaps someone with short kinky hair.

Jainell_all_day: This was a good video and your hair looks great. However people who have 4c hair do have real struggles and we should not negate that. A lot of their issues are internal but a lot come from other black people glorifying looser curls or straight hair. Many 4c woman have not been given the opportunity to love natural texture. They have been wearing braids, wigs, weaves or straightening their hair is the only time they are receiving compliments. We as woman have to love each other especially the younger generation. Because all they see is their mothers, aunties, sisters……not embracing their own hair.

Brittney Davis: People will complain about anything. I remember when sporting your original hair texture was an unpopular thing. But bc i was on a journey to healthy hair i choose the unpopular route....not long after it became a pouplar thing to do. For me, it wasnt about my hair texture it was about what i wanted to do. Ik to each His Own, but sometimes i expect the rest of my brown skin ladies to do the same. Just embrace who you are and forget about the politics of why you can't.

Davina Allinson: The wigs and weaves thing is sooo true in the community