Hair, Makeup & Beauty Standards/Preferences Black Men Vs Black Women Ft. Amarachi Aliogo -Episode 54

Coming up this week on the afro journal, i always thought i could spot out the girls that are looking natural. The girls that don't experience, police poof, would be so much. You know one day i'll be brave. Next, you might see me in purple. Hair hair. Is your identity so being able to switch it up? Change things you know just adds more to who you are as a person, but i'm like. Why does it have to be straight? I mean it doesn't have to be straight. Afro giorno. What is going on? Welcome back to another episode, episode 54 and this one's a very special episode dropping during black history month. You already know what the vibes are we're coming in clutch. I feel like we'll be dropping back as our bank, as we just said, you're ready now, you're ready though we just celebrated our one-year anniversary. You know we talked about love on how to cough your african queen. Now we're going to be talking about the crown of the african woman, you know what i'm saying so hey before we get into it. You can see we have a very special guest here. This one is very special, very special. Actually are you doing special? How special she is once we get into the episode, but before we introduce her, it's your toasted caramel, no shout out to milani for giving me this nickname. It'S your glazed chocolate donut! You know today's mlk day so we had to. We had to bring out uh. That'S a wrap we had to rip. We have to rep the people versus the system. Yes, i need to see your extra luggage, your savants, that's a new one right there, okay, i'm speaking so far, shout out to my shout out to my french africans. You know in the continent and the diaspora, yeah shout out to them right. Yes, yes of. What is that? Because you can't just be yourself man, you have to be a survivor of something everything is like he's, a basketball so far, i'm in football. Okay. What are you i'm? The average of survival right beside pizza? We have a very special guest, looking lovely. We can see the crown on her head, but we'll allow her to introduce herself, okay, hi everyone. I don't have any nicknames yet, but hopefully one of your fans will give me one one amarachi el yugo, real mvp. So thank you guys for having me hey, see you guys, you guys see the proper mvp in the early yoga family. How many joined this girl has carried me through all my english backgrounds and everything all my essays so shout out to her shout out to her. We love it, but thank you so much actually peter's younger sister. You know, probably my friends had a few times in the episode. What we're talking about growing up. You know, like yeah she's, just telling stories about how they grew up yeah. This is the one she's she's, the one that i i used to bully a lot. You know she's the one where the pain is still be mischievous. I mean she can tell you these stories, you know. Probably the episode should just give you a few hints of like how how how much she hated me. I was like yeah because i was an annoying brother. It'S the way you're bragging about terrorizing people is. Do you know why? Because i gave this girl a strong heart. No boy could ever move her like that. Have you ever exactly, but he was a terrorist. You know that was a good thing, a bad thing well to be decided. Am i still holding malice in my heart? Maybe dory? No, no, we'll help! You get some revenge in this episode. Don'T worry well yeah! Well, really, though, thank you guys for having me so, of course, no problem. Thank you for joining us. So yes, this week, we're going to be talking, like i said earlier, we're going to be talking about the crown of a woman's beauty. You know we're talking about the black hair natural hair. Let'S just break it down. You know this black history month. I think hair is a big topic amongst the black community, especially black women. You know we black men. We have a lot to say about women's hair. All the time you know we like to talk so hey, let's get into it. When did you guys start like taking your hair seriously? You know, because when i was growing up you know i didn't really care about my hair. I didn't really care about like okay. I cared about it right after i got a haircut because i thought i looked fresh because my dad thought i looked fresh so pretty much all the all the should i say confidence i got from my hair were just based on what i fed up from my Dad right so you know we go, we need the signature skin fade either i'll probably put in some pictures. Do you have the this one here? Oh my god put the light on. There was not talking about how that light. Just means that this is the road to the village. I know that it's just some rubbish, jokes and after getting a haircut without guy it's here. You know that was like everything that we always did. You know so, but i didn't really care about that. You know, but then, when i once i got to the setting age i'll say: maybe like 9 10, you know like primary five gs1 instead of caring about my looks, you know like how, like i wanted to stop doing that because it was childish. You know i wanted to upgrade and like maybe have an afro, maybe do a low cut. You know be fresh, so i wanted to ask you guys when did hair, especially for the women. You know, because i feel like that's like a pivotal point in your life. I don't know if it's always been that way, but when the hair become like something that you took care of, or you noticed about your appearance, i think for me, like cara, has always been like a very important part of like just me in general, even from Like a very young age because females in my family, i think not even just the females like males as well like, we all have really good hair, and i always had like really long really full hair and was like people always like compliment me on it. So it was something i always noticed like. Oh i'm, actually, oh yeah, it's so nice how'd! You get it to be so long stuff like that and like people knew me for my hair, basically because of how it looked, how long it was the length the health stuff like that. So, even without, like me, actually wanting to be that interested in my hair, like people would always point it out, and that way i knew like okay. This is something that's actually important, so i always wanted to like take care of it. You know when i was in like primary when i was in primary school. You know make sure my beads are right. You know it's nice, you could make sure you know you can see full have a nice ponytail. You know just things like that. You wear your neck in the night. You can't wake up. You know going to school the next day with rough hair stuff, like that, like it's always been important, but in terms of like actually taking care of my hair and like wanting to see my hair healthy, like apart from just like the looks and the attention that I got like i think that was fairly recent, like when i went natural actually, because when i was relaxed i didn't really care like i wasn't thinking. Oh don't put heat on your hair or you know all that stuff. You know swim or something like that. Like i wasn't really like thinking much about the health of the hair, it was more of like the looks on how like the attention i could get from my hair. Basically the aesthetic here all right, i mean you said a lot there that i want so pogba. I wanted to go to bowler real quick. What was your experience like yeah? So i probably didn't get into really caring about my hair until probably like 9 10 years old, but it was a struggle because you know my mom we've discussed my mom she's just yeah she's she's very interesting, but she has a way that things should be done And if they're not done, you know they shouldn't even be done, but she always you know, had me doing my hair in braids, cornrows, really simple, and at that point i feel like i was starting to grow into who i wanted to be. You know i wanted some beads. I wanted some like ribbons bows, all that, like extra stuff and she's, not about that extra well, your mom did do beats for you. She did it when i was like really young, like you know, like a baby kind of, but growing up, she's like you're going to school. You don't need to be caring about. You know like how you look too much like go to school. Learn your book. Come back home, so she wasn't into all that like extra jazz, then i went to cameroon like maybe a year two after that, and i kept my hair actually for like the first, maybe six months, and then i was forced to cut it so uh growing up. I had american cuts, yeah yeah yeah um growing up. I always struggle with my hair. My hair is like very thick, but it just it like it wouldn't grow at a normal rate. So it's something i always struggled with. I couldn't sometimes i couldn't do. Ponytails the hair in front was shorter than the hair in the back. It was just a mess but going back home and had being able to shave it to me that was like okay, you know, let me start fresh. This is going to be an opportunity to grow. You know nice, beautiful, hair, hair started growing in at that point. It was just haircuts like the guys. You know i didn't really care a lot about it. So i'd wake up. Yeah, nice brush nice comb go to school, come back repeat the next day, then bullet was trying to get waves, not even, and then, when i came back to the us i had it had grown in, but it was still like. You know really low cut yeah and coming back so we talked about like my school. You know i went to like an all-white catholic high school, all white girls. You know they have their long blonde hair they're doing this they're doing that. So me coming in a black girl, one of the few that were at school, with this low cut. You know i got bullied a lot of stairs a lot of looks like oh, my god, your hair da da da da, and that's like that. Like adds to you know the pressure of like you know what hair is an identity for women so being at that state? In my life you know it was. It was very stressful, but then i started getting into like braids weaves wigs. My mom was, you know. Slowly, inching into allowing me to experiment, but it shows okay, yeah, okay, let's do a little something here and there, but i think, like at the age that i am now like she doesn't. She doesn't the hair is me so i pay for my hair. I do everything you know i'll go home for christmas and she'll be like. What'S that on your hair, i'm like. Thank you. That'S your business, exactly not your business, but at this point like being able to maintain the hair, is you know very important and i feel like now i've really. This is the time where i'm really being able to get into hair what it is, how to maintain it, how to protect it and just how to keep it good, so yeah, my hair has always been nonchalant. What i mean by that is that any time i call my hair, it was custom. My dad told us to go cut it. My sister would know like when my younger brother, we didn't take her over here at all. You know we're even struggling to have our butt our parents before have it's. Probably when i, when i started caring, was probably when i got into high school like secondary school, you know, like probably yeah the nine year 10.. Well, oh yeah! That'S what i would from the big boy for from you know everyone else. If who you know if you watch africa, you know that transition is very unique, yeah right, that's very it's well documented, but that was probably when um. I started caring about my hair and how i looked yeah and i moved away from the low cut. You know the you know the nike side of your head in front of your head and stuff like that, and it's like going out my hair. I had like a what do you call it? Uh, like the you shaved, the sides, i had a mohawk added, more mohawk, i mean it was kind of like a fade, slash mohawk, because that there's punk there's fade. There'S more punk is like mohawk goes all the way to the back yeah. I had all the way to the back at the top. Okay, i had all the way to there yeah. I know the way to never. I never went through a mohawk face. That'S one of my biggest regrets in life yeah, not too old for that [ __ ], and this is when i started experimenting when you're relaxed. I just i started asking my mom you're almost relaxed because kids like scooby, so i relax right now. You look at your head like yo. What did you do with your hair? Bro? That'S what they had, so you just didn't get spiky. Yes, i'm just like what my heads look like that, but yeah my brother tried to relax. Her hair ended up bad. He ended up bad. I was like yo. This is still working man. I i was like okay, let me just cut the whole thing off. Okay, i can't be relaxed if i heaven but yeah, i tried it like a few times. It didn't work out yeah, but then obviously i moved to the us when i had to go back to low cot and it was on to wpi infinite wpi, i sort of cared, but i didn't really care. You know i wp i had my hair anyhow. Usually, most of the time i've gone very even till now i i just don't know what to do. I feel i have an idea what fits me, but i want to be more experimental with my hair. That'S why i always make the joke with my mom anytime. I come on my mom, i'm going to dye. I think one day it will happen, but i am very nervous of doing things like that. Out of my comfort zone, it's certain things um, but yeah. I'Ve just been very wishy washy with my hair throughout my life. It'S just the natural beauty in me that just gives me my confidence. Sometimes you feel me, but if i'm it's like, i don't care how my hair looks. I think i look good with long hair and short hair if that makes sense. There'S much more of my uh. As i said, my physical health, i'm always more concerned with that in terms of my self, what you know what i mean like, i feel guys. Hair is important, like i believe like, but i was saying that, like, like women are defined by their hair and stuff, like that, i feel for guys. Hair is important, but not as important how physically you look or how what your physique looks like if that makes sense, yeah. So that's much more of the area that affects me personally as a guy yeah, and i think i think my experience was pretty similar without i already told you, i didn't really care much about my hair until, like maybe like 9 10.. You know when i went secondary school. You know you now start to tr when they are forcing me to do a certain style, but you know that you want to know the style that is already like trending. You know like the punk or the mohawk or, like all those different ones, but everyone just wants to clean your head, bold, but that was pretty much it when i moved to america. That was when i really had full range, because i was coming at university for one year first and then they still forced us to cut our hair, even though i always wanted to grab my hair, like, i feel like up to that point. I'Ve never grown up. My hair longer than maybe like two three inches like you know, so when i came to america, that's when i was like okay, like i'm, really going to grow out this hair. You know like because that was just a big thing for me. I grew it out. My freshman year, which was nice but then and i wanted to experiment with all the relaxations and the texturizing, and all that this was like fro my dream from grade nine great changes, you know all that stuff and then i did it in freshman year. Wpr actually - and i absolutely hated that bro like like it, looked nicer at first. You know like for like one two days my hair was loose big everything, but after a while, just like my hair doesn't feel like my hair, it feels very like scrunchy yeah, like i'm combing it i'm here like. I think you can break yeah yeah. I was like what is this rubbish man, so i ended up cleaning my head off. You know just to start again. I don't know i went through that phase in the wpa out, like a lot of people. Don'T have fears when i went through that my little cold face. You know, but yeah yeah, and even to this day you guys yeah. I like to try different things with my hair. You know like experiment, even though i carried that afro for pretty much most of the vp. I didn't really do much for them, but now it's now it's not like. Okay, i mean, i have free range, let's try different things, but let's go back to something that marijuana said. You know, i think you brought up the whole like attention. You got from people. I guess you guys have good hair genes in the other family kudos to you guys. You know but like compared to your other friends. Right was your hair like just a lot longer than all of them, and do you know how they interacted with their hair? Because of that um, i think yeah, like my hair, was always noticeably longer than everyone else's. Apart from like the maybe few white people in the class, then you know yeah yeah white people, your class yeah in at some point in primary school. They were like no like white, but then they were like international, so one of them was lebanese. The other one was indian, i believe so yeah, apart from the few, like you know, non-nigerians. But yes, it wasn't like an active conversation, but then people just knew like it was anything about her. Like you're gon na talk to me. You know why i asked that you know you know. I asked that right because um, i don't know hunter, but in my house we have pretty good hedges as well. You know so pretty my sister's hair was always. I don't know how else to say. You know i don't know how else to say you know, but what i'm saying is my sister was very long right like it was very nice when i went to secondary school, like i saw girls really struggling to grow their hair now mind you most of the Girls were relaxing their hair. Yeah, like bullet mentioned, like the edges, were very thin. You know, like everything i mean i always looked at girls like, is it that everyone is just struggling or is my sister doing something right? You know like i was so confused about it. You know so i was always boasting like yo like when my sister comes to secondary school. I will show you guys what her hair looks like all that [ __ ], all that [ __ ], then, when she came you know my what's. It called my my mum actually wanted to cut my sister's hair. You know before she came to school. You know you see how i i protested. I was like yo, you can't do this to me. I'Ve already boosted in school. You have to come and then show off the hair after i showed off the hair, you cut out cut it. You know so, but growing up and obviously learning more about hair, because i used to take my sister to make her hair as well. When i was younger, i realized that a lot of the reasons why i will lie to you all those trips where your parents foresee, because my parents forced me to stay with them. Sometimes you remember yeah. They just forced me to because if it was me who was going to follow me, you know i mean it's just me and the driver exactly well like now. You know, but then i was just like bro like. Why? Are you guys just stopping my day? You feel me, i want to be out there playing psp xbox live. Why are you guys stopping to take care of you, girls? Well, that was. That was one of the reasons why we had griefs not like we had groups, but i was extra like motivated to annoy her. You know that was another reason yeah. I thought they would be like. I literally go there and you sit down there for hours and hours like two three hours, maybe sometimes over four hours, just like bro like i want to go and there will not be lights. That'S the other thing! It'S right! There lights! Well, oh they're, sitting down you know, but so i should go. Take my sister to make her hair and then i realized that the culture of hair, like taking care of the way we took care of her back home, wasn't necessarily the best, because all the time people relax their hair all the time you know just to make It easier to manage all the time they're always like yo this. Your hair is too strong that i just relax and form and like relaxing became like a regular routine, and you know that for my mom yeah she relaxed my sister's hair, but she relaxed like. Maybe you once a year, but i know people that relax their hair almost every time they make it. You know, and i think that kind of played into why a lot of us struggled with like actually growing out our hair and like the natural stuff that is going in the head, it's kind of like what pizza experience like yo, you relax your hand. It was just like bruh like was this nonsense right and then you know how to cut it to start again and then i think, like there was a natural, but i don't know if you can speak to this right, but there was kind of like a natural Hair wave that happened maybe three four years ago, where girls are like. Oh i'm going that true, i'm doing this, i'm doing that right and then, and i started seeing like yo like girls - are like growing out their hand. It was looking nice and all that. So i don't know how much of good hair do you think ties into? I guess the genetics of things and then how much have you just turned into like maintenance, because some people say they can't grow their hair and to me i'm just like it doesn't really add up to me, because the hair is constantly growing i'm actually. What do you think honestly? This is a very good question, because i've actually done research on this, like yeah genetics like plays a role in terms of like because your hair grows in like different stages. I think they're like four stages and your hair is only growing in one of those stages and the rest of the stages. It'S not growing, so genetics decides like how long your growing stages is, like some people maybe have like a month of growth. Some people have two months and we'll have three months. Some people have longer or shorter, so it's like it just depends like how long your growing stage is depends on how long your hair would grow, but it also like plays into how you maintain your growth in terms of like okay, let's you're taking on your braids. If you're, just like combing your hair dry, all your hair is falling like out you're, not going to retain any growth. Obviously, so, even if your growth stage is like short, then you've lost all the growth you made because you're like impatient. So you don't have like a proper routine to actually properly take care and retain the growth that you've made, and it goes with the same with like people with long hair, because you see people who, like lung, can you're like. Oh my god like i won't hear. That'S that long, like you know my back or my wrists, but if they like blow out their hair, you see that most of it is like split ends. It'S not healthy, there's, no happy, it's dry, it's breaking, but they just have like a long growth face. So the hair keeps growing, but it's not necessarily healthy here. So i think like in terms of like the whole length stuff. Like sorry, i forgot. The original question well like length isn't always help basically, like you, can have healthy shots here and you can have unhealthy long, hair. So yeah i mean the main question was like i mean you pretty much hit the nail on the head right, but it's mostly like, like people that talk about not being able to grow out of their hair, because this is the face that a lot of us Go through like really black people right, like even sometimes like my younger brother, was telling me that you, i don't think my hair is growing. I went through that face as well was like. I don't think my hair is growing. You know like just kind of like, but i'm literally picking up my hair every day, i'm combing it. You know breaking the whole thing off. You know, but then a lot of people struggle with like growing their hair and then retaining the the lens. So i was not like okay, like do you think it's just pretty much your genetics and that's, or are there healthier ways that you can go about it in terms of like okay, like knowing that okay, we can actually be more patient with this hair and like Treat it with tender, love and care and then it will actually grow because i think people lose hope with that. I don't know bole so from high school. How did you know because uh now i believe i was like pretty nice here. You know i'm saying like the hair is looking nice, you know. If you go to the previous episode, you see the throw pictures there we go, but i, how did you? How did you get about a hump? You know what you were like. Okay, like i don't think my hair can grow, but now it's like oh [, __ ], like can actually grow um. So i guess i'll start by saying my hair. It grows, but it grows it's a long period of time for me to like notice, significant growth, which is why i don't like. Have it out, naturally, a lot because i feel like when i have it in like protective styles like these locks? I'Ve had these unlocks in since, like september 2021, and it's now february 2022, and when i have them in these styles that i change out, maybe like every three four months. That'S when i can like physically see. Okay, like oh, like i grew, like you know, an inch or two or a couple centimeters, but then like yeah. I also like i won't lie like i don't maintain it as well. As i should be, you know. Sometimes i will be combing it out dry. I won't sleep with a bonnet and i won't scarf it up or anything like that. You know and honestly, hair is a lot like. It takes a lot of patience time and i feel like my life, like i'm always on the go. So sometimes i don't have 20 minutes to be combing it out detangling like removing all these strands, one by one but um in terms of growth. It was i mean i didn't do anything major. I just really had it in braids and logs pretty much. You know all my life, so what was the first time that you would say you felt insecure about your hair? Do you remember that definitely high school like when i came in with the low cut and everybody else around me, you know had all this long luscious here granted they were white but like um, i had nothing. They still had me too yeah, but like that's when i really felt it, and i feel like that's where i struggled the most because it didn't seem like it was growing. My hair was still short to a point where i really couldn't do like you know these protective styles, so i literally just had to wear it out like that and at that age i didn't know that many ways to style, low-cut hair - you know, like i didn't Know i could dye it, i was afraid to dye it. I could have. You know, done some gel some little twists like things like that, i wasn't. I didn't have knowledge of that and yeah. My mom has never been one to really. You know be into hair. Like that, so she also couldn't like help me out, so i kind of just you know. I went through that phase alone and just kind of had to like deal with it yeah. Can we just point that out? You know, i feel that a lot of african kids suffer from that that their parents don't know how to utilize their hair in different ways. Like my dad just his whole solution with my eyes, low cut, low cut, low cut, low cut, low cut low calorie. Tell me just shave it off just cut it like this yeah like that, really still, i think my dad treated my sister different from, but obviously like he be like he hates. Let me say he hates he dislikes how my hair looks right now. You know he's more like, as a boy cut your hair, you know as a woman, your hair proper, you don't like, so he loves that my sister's hair is low. You know my mom had long hair too. She cut it all that stuff right, but for the body just like clean that [ __ ] up yeah yeah, but i feel that that is not always the answer like when i see young kids like we cool hairstyles like just so. You see that one instagram story like that. I wish i was sweet. I wish i had that hair, because when i was when i was a baby i had like an afro. You know i mean i think everyone in our family had an afro like babies like we yeah. We just have. We always had afros, but, like you know, when we got to that setting age, we just all cut it off. You know just imagine my parents kept my hair and i kept the ground. I'Ve had long, lustrous hair like this one right here. You feel me, but because of this because of the gender roles that were that were placed upon us, i always had that mindset with low cut. You know it's until you enter conditions, start thinking for yourself that oh i can actually style it this way. You know i can actually study this. When you see peace square with dreadlocks mohawk, exactly yeah, you can do a mohawk. You see like dreads. For the first time, are your parents will tell you your dreads? Is there no no yeah like that was a huge thing in my family like right? Oh, like my dad was like bro, you can't be you can't you can't go out. You need to look professional. You know my dad is that professional, oh yeah, yeah man he's like yo; no, no, no, no! No! No most africa brothers hate dreads, like they just take care from yeah just from yeah yeah. If they see dress on your head, you know yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So i i just think that, like i thank god like a generation like a like the generation that we're in our kids will benefit from us, like the transition of the information from the diaspora in terms of learning, how to you know, style your hand in different Ways and feel comfortable and not limiting ourselves to specific gender roles. You know so yeah, that's that's that'll be nice. I think that was important as well, because boley touched on the fact that her mom didn't really know much about her. You know i know amateur was that the case for you as well or like honestly, i think it was the case for me as well, because i don't ever remember because from us the earliest memories of like me like going to the salon or making my hair. I remember i hated going to the salon because they would always i just hated the whole process, how they washed my hair, how they blow-dried it like they reading didn't take care of my hair. It was always like a very painful process exactly and i was very tender headed, so there was a point where i literally said: i'm not going to the salon. Again, if you remember the hairstyles to always come to the house yeah, we would always come to the house and even then i'll still be crying throughout the entire process like it was just like it wasn't a fun process for me - and i remember mom was just Like, let's just relax your hair, it was just like that was the solution, it's sort of like actually finding like a way of, maybe like yeah, properly styling or like getting good products that actually worked for my hair, because i remember like my entire childhood, i, like Circled between, like four major pro products for my hair, that was pink oil, any shampoo that i could get my hand on and there was like indian hemp like hair cream, i mean i feel i feel i always had like a natural growth with my hair. All i literally did with my hair was you can ask my sister like put soap on it? I never had something. Did you use the did you use software? I didn't use software. Oh, we used that the holy trinity, so foreign, oh yeah, so it was just kind of like that. Like we didn't really know, we just knew the basics. You need to shampoo your hair. You need to condition condition it whether the products are actually doing anything like that, doesn't matter and then usually like. When i got my hair relaxed, then you blew dry, the hair and then upon that they were still complaining. Your hair is too full. It'S too full. Let me just put some more relaxer on the edge, so it can that's what the hairdresser would be saying: yeah or they'll charge you extra for having full hair, or do you say after donating like it was just. It was just a stressful process, honestly, like it was fun when the whole thing was done, and then people like compliments wow, you hate so long. This is gorgeous, but then you actually get in there like it wasn't fun like it was just tears. I honestly relate to that yeah. I also remember like like sitting down there. You know i said boys you're like why the hell are you crying over your hair? You know you're like. Why? Are you? No? No. I never. I never said that for some reason, because i watched my sister like cry every time yeah, but in my head it's like: why are they crying? Is it not plating hair? Probably because i've been flogged so many times, i'm like what is plating hair? You know i mean, but when you fully realize that that stuff can give you a headache, yeah yo, you know what that stuff can give you full on headache. I remember the first time i braided my hair. This was a layer. It was a leather actually braided. The hair like like it wasn't, it was really like two braids. You know nothing crazy, but just standing my head felt so heavy. I was like how do we back carry a touch without putting your head? I was like. Can you remove the stick from my head? Please, like my head, felt heavy and then bro. This was two braids like oh my natural hair. I was like yo so honestly, respect to her, because my sister she went through her face is like a routine when she's going to make her hair. We know she's going to cry, yeah come back the next day. We have to give more, she will go and sleep and there's it's maybe like a day or two later that she'll not be fine. You know when everything's upside down, like i'm like bro like. Why is it this hard and those comments about like the hairdressers be making like? Oh, your hair is too full. It'S too much. I cannot handle it. I'M just like this is a professional hairdresser though, and they're making us. Oh, let me just relax it. Small professional is not the time i would use for professional, but like i'll just say that those were the people that you know you go to to start well, they're, not professionals in any way, shape or form. They have. No, you know technical knowledge on anything else. Just professional is very subjective yeah i mean i mean okay well in terms of african technology. They were definitely professionals but in terms of the the realistic term, the objective term of professionalism they had. No, you know technical knowledge on hair yeah i mean look at your hair. Is too full i'll charge. You extra for full hair like come on craziness yeah. They do that [, __ ] now yeah. That'S why i never get my braids done in the u.s, because yeah that didn't enter five hundred dollars. I can't pay. I can't pay, please. You know. I heard girls complaining about the fact that, like did you age, hairdressers, yeah, they're, very lazy, they'll be like cold water dry blow dry dry. The hair will dry, in fact just come with the hair. So, like that's pretty much our experience, but then there's now this phase, where my mum actually took it upon herself to make my sisters here by herself. You know - and i feel like that period - i never had my sister cry or like complain. You know she would take her time and literally because it was in the house, i would sit down there watching they're like making their hair. I was actually trying to learn how to braid head. So at that point, but you know my my guy hands. No, it doesn't know it didn't work out very well, but like so like just like the experience, it didn't really register to me then, but now that i think about it. In hindsight, i'm just like the experience was always so different. When my mom made my sister's hair than when the hairdresser made the hair, you know so i think a lot of it with black hair and like it just really goes down to patience and love. You know and like, and i think as guys we get away with it because worse case scenario, we can cut our hair and like and women will be loving it. Actually, they even want us to cut that hair you know like, but as women like guys, you know, you know guys we'll be talking that we talk like yo what what that natural hair wait, what this, what peter yeah, nick yeah [ __ ], would be talking. [ __ ], like you know i was like. I was one of those things i kind of didn't know girl with no. I was wearing weak because you know nutritious. I also had my sisters. I think i also had like the perfect. You know storm to have that kind of mentality, because my sisters always had long hair. You know what i mean like all of them always had longest. I was like what the other you know, but i didn't realize that the extent of which they had to suffer. You know what i mean yeah and the social pressures that came with that, like when you're thinking of saying something with your mother. As a kid, you don't understand the social effect that i can have on the other gender yeah. You know why. I think we even was saying that as a kid like, i said, the show as an adult you go like, and i said it with my whole chest. You know i'm just like bro, like team natural all day baby. I still i'm still that way. In a sense, so i'm not trying to cover be like i'm extra woke now. You know i've extra this like i'm still like. I appreciate a woman with nice. You know good natural hair, but i'm a lot more tender when i say it now, yeah, i'm not like. Oh, like you're, much more understanding. You know like. I have a lot more understanding. You know, and i've actually grown to actually appreciate when women experiment with their hair before i see all their weeds. All that like i always you know you guys always ask: why are you wearing weeks guys wearing wigs? I was just like. Oh my gosh. I just think of that. Yes bella, so like you're, so dumb, you don't realize what you're saying is stupidity. You know what i mean it's like. I think i think it just comes from a place of ignorance and not really understanding because we're never putting those spaces. You know what i mean whenever when we never thought about like how to maintain your hair. You know what i mean like whoa whoa, wait, oh a guy's! Totally it's your father, low cut, yeah, shampoo and conditioner. I never used to use shampoo and conditioner. You know. I mean and yeah it was just that we never put in those scenarios or you know those uh. We never had those experiences or talked about those experiences with our moms or dads or grandmas or grandpas or even with our sisters. You know i mean this is probably the first time i'm actually talking about hair with my sister, you know when i go when i come back from the barber. Should i say: oh peter, you look good when she comes out from these i'll say i'm at you. Oh, you look good. That is it, you know, that's he'll, be the one who like will push my head, because if you have a sister, you know when they come back from the salon. This house, their head, is like everybody's. Like you know, your neck is going to stay like this until like three days later, even when you sleep you're not going to sleep on the back of your hair you're, going to sleep on your face, your face, you sleep on your face, and here are my Brothers, remember: chika is doing sometimes soup for no reason you just push my head i'll come and eat your food. The day i just made my hair honestly, i would like to. I don't remember that how do you remember actually like because it would always like, and i'm like you don't understand, like you think, i'm joking i'm in pain. I want to hold my neck like this like, even if um you don't believe what i'm saying. Look at my posture. Look at my demeanor. Do i do cookie? If i look okay, that you want to play with me, terrorist nah, i mean that's. Never i don't know. I think your boys are very because i went through another story. Like i broke my arm when i was in secondary school right, i was wearing a whole cast and i had friends that would come and twist my hand intentionally because of my life would lie to you like. That'S definitely something i would do and, like you said, you saw stop but i'll be like what are you talking about then i'll. Do it again? You know i mean so that's definitely more. You say stuff, the more you want to know yeah yeah yeah, honestly. I i don't know why i did that yeah. I don't know why i was always like so uh confrontational. You know what i mean it was just yeah. I don't know it's cause of honesty. It'S because i was the first one, and i, though there was a lot of responsibilities that were put on me and the other siblings didn't get. I was the first person to always open the gate, the first person to turn on the generator. You know all these kind of physical things even cooking. My mom would tell us, even though they did some most of the cooking. My mom would still tell us. Oh you have to go cook for your siblings. You know what i mean. I thought that was what i was watching, but when it's time to do all this, like you know, men stuff, it was always the guys like when we had to change the light. Did he ever change lights? Exactly she never watches stella changed the light, so it was just like all this extra [ __ ] that men had to do like i i had to do what she was doing, plus extra plus yeah. You know i was just like damn like that when a father and then when chica left, don't i used to love gates, you you slugged it. Oh you don't forget. I liked how to change. When i was in the house. You know it was all me. So it's very stressful, plus my dad was just putting a lot of responsibilities and pressure on me, like you know like when am i going to the market? Who would that be call you guys? We still, we will all be sleepy after church right like oh there. We church now it's now time to go to the market and shop and they say chipotle, let's calm down, i'm like. Ah, my mom would stay in the car with the girls because the chili didn't invite they said i was like. Why is this yo? What what's fair about this? You know, what kind of sexism is the equality? Man? That'S equality! Thank you. So i don't know i i just think it was just kind of my way of just getting them back. I i it transformed into something else into becoming brilliant, because i did my younger brother a lot worse than them, like the girls were all like kind of there, but my younger my younger brother, even though, like we had like a a love-hate relationship, because we did Everything together well, i was still kind of like an [ __ ]. You know what i mean yeah, you were a tyrant. I was a parent for sure and then you were. I broke everything i broke everything you can ask her like. If anything broke, he said. Uh, my mom would probably chibuzor. Where are you? Why did you break this and you she's usually right? I broke it. Yeah that's uh automatic. It was just one of those things that, thank god, it was just a phase that i and i got out of it. Yeah, i'm still stopping. I think i don't lie to you, but it is i mean i don't think it's. I think it could be a different topic in itself right, like the psychology of like children growing up, and i guess the difference between guys and girls, because i think jordan peterson has some good pieces on that right. But i don't think every i think some of it comes from just the nature of guys to be very adventurous, to be very stubborn to be very like, like we don't like to follow, rules things like that, and it also comes from the personality of the guy. As well yeah so now imagine peter's personality type, now being a guy as well. That is growing up and is now stupid. Combine all that together. It'S like, like you, have a mess, but for me for me, like i was a, i was a guy, but i was also very like caring in a sense. I don't know just naturally right so, even though i had my mischievous side, but then when it came to like people, i always cared about them. So, like my sister in the life she's in pain or like, if she's anything, i'm worried about that, you know. But then i'll still i'd be like okay, i'll still find a hard time to be like sit down and follow the rules and they're, like oh make sure you buff at 5 p.m, make sure you if you've eaten at seven. Oh i'm just like wow. You know that i want to play for you yeah, so so it's full of those kind of rules yeah. I would say this too, like that, like a ventral side like i was very adventurous as a kid in the house, because we didn't used to go out a lot, we were usually stuck in the house. You know what i mean and inside the girls the guys were probably stuck inside more, but i was like always adventurous everywhere. You know, i just say: oh, don't run around the swimming pool. I would be the one running around the swimming pool. You know i mean like oh, don't don't climb on top of the boy's quarters roof! Oh crap, you know i'll, be doing pull-ups, stupid, stairs, i'll, clap three stories, i'll put my leg on the stairs and on the wall now i'll just be dancing like. If i sleep i'm falling to my death, actually it was me yeah. So so we had like this stairs like that. We had to say, as i went downstairs, it was like kind of like this back door, steps that went downstairs. It had not finished completion, but it was like it was still in the house and um. I was watching tv with my my siblings right, and this was like the second to first floor right like ground floor to the yeah the ground floor to the next floor. Right now we're going downstairs and we're watching, and i was looking back and there was this space where anyone could fall in our person always told us, oh, be careful when you walk down the stairs, but you know stupid me: i'm not thinking i'm watching tv, i'm Watching ben 10., so i just i was walking back and i slipped bam. This is where i this is you remember now. This is where i was like bleeding. Well, you know that was it no! No! No! No from mummies from mommy and daddy's paulo downstairs to the blue, chair, palo alto yeah to the blue, tiny uh, pillow yeah dining table. I know you feel better yeah. You have too many rooms in your house, all these rich people. So so i i fell, and i i got hooked on the edge of this or one of the stairs hit at the back of my head on the floor, bam like if no one noticed i could have died there, but luckily i stood i stood and i Walked my parents and my grandfather, my grandma, my granddad were there and there was this thing that was blood all over my face and after that they took me to the guest room's bathroom, and i don't remember anything after that. Literally, i don't remember anything after that, but yeah that was that was like all these. Like you know, girls are careful and i'm i was always reckless. You know i mean always reckless yeah and i actually, i just remembered something that my sister told me recently. So i thought the paint myself i was like i was overly caring. You know i was scared, i care about people's feelings, but i remember what time you told me that that you know when, like you, have milk teeth and like your teeth is about to fall off right so, like she literally like her teeth was about to fall About this it was pissing me off right, so i was like bro like. Why is this [ __ ]? Still there? I went pull this [ __ ] out right and then she was like. Ah yeah, it's good! It'S good! You know i helped you. I have to take on you even what time before what time she was trying to learn how to do the splits right and in my head, i'm just like this girl working too hard, but baby just expedited this process for her. So she was doing this split. I just went on top of her. I pressed that down. I was like okay and then she was screaming shout out to me. Don'T worry, you'll, be fine, you'll, be fine, don't worry, i'm treating you, you see, i'm a boy. She told me this now, just like. Oh, my god, man so like there's. Definitely this like reckless side of a guy that i just like bro like i'm doing it for the greater good. Whatever i've convinced myself, the greater good looks like, as is mad but anyways back to the back to the hair conversation. I remember when i was now what i used to say right. This was maybe like college me me, maybe two years ago, even last year, maybe even last week to be honest. Now i'm walk, i'm walking today, i'm walk, you know, but i used to be like yo like i didn't care, much about like women that did weaves and all that. But my problem, especially black women right, was the fact that all the time when i see them, i never see their hair out. So it was like, like i had friends, i'd, never seen their hair. You know it's either a weave if they're leaving their house, it has to be a week actually just not different within weeks last week, but has to be awake or weave or something you know like they can't leave the house like they've gone through the summer. They'Ve gone through the winter everything without their natural hair showing not once and then i came up with this theory that never said theory, but i started thinking that yo, i'm like is it that black women don't like their hair, you know, or is that they're just Too lazy to actually take care of it right and then my i guess my i'll now have these conversations with my friends. You know trying to convince them. Oh you guys should go natural. You know do this, do that do that and the backlash was, you know a bit heavy, you know they're like they'll, be like they didn't, take it very likely. They didn't like it that much, even though it was still like a decent conversation, because i always do things i'm not moving mad when i'm doing it, but i'm still kind of like yeah like come on, you know. But what do you guys think about that? You know like in terms of like uh, i guess because weaves and all that is predominant in the black community right, like you, don't really see other. Let me say i don't see, but if your white man is wearing a weave, i don't know that she's wearing the weaving i'm saying like because it just literally looks like her head like it is what it is right, but amongst the blacks is obvious that this Girl is wearing a weave. I know that what do you guys think about the relationship between weaves and black women? I, like all these, like not our hair type hairs like for me. I think my perspective changed on the whole point like i have different perspectives, depending on like where i was like in nigeria like, if you say, babe wearing, like a weave of wigs or braids, is either because it's in style or they don't know how to take Care of their hair, and it's not like something that they are ashamed of per se. It'S just like. I don't know how to this. My hair is giving me stress, i'm just going to get two braids and i can do like keep that in for like three months. But then, when i came to the us, then i realized it was more of like a cultural aspect in terms of like a lot of people were raised, like thinking their hair were like unkempt or like messy or nappy, and things like that. So there was this. Like shame of stigma around like black hair, that a lot of black women or people in the black community like grow up with, hence them like trying to like cover it up or just like, not show it if they didn't have to.