Monique & The Bonnet| Policing Black Women’S Hair

This is my helmet of salvation, where you see a bonnet. This is my helmet of salvation girl. What are you waiting on follow me on instagram, like comment subscribe and click that bell notification what'd he do y'all. Would he do okay? So the girls have been talking about monique and bonnet gate as i'm calling it, and when i first heard it, it was actually my husband who brought it to my attention. We were laying in the bed and he was like. If you want to wear your bonnet to the airport, then i fully support you and i looked at him like okay king, i don't plan to but okay. So then i dig a little deeper and i found out that monique had posted something saying that she didn't want the girls wearing their bonnets in the airport. So i was like okay, like why are the people up in arms? So you know me, i got ta dig a little deeper and i got ta make sure that i am fully educated on something before i share my opinion. So that's what i decided to do so i went and i looked on - miss monique's instagram page, and it was just like a four minute, ig video. I thought that it was gon na be longer and like a whole lot more than it was, but per usual people are up in arms about something that i don't think they really need to be up and arms about, but girl, that's just my opinion. So when she first opened up the video she said, hi my sweet babies um. This is auntie here coming to you with love, and i was thinking oh well. Maybe they don't like this because she's starting the video with hi, my sweet babies and people are interpreting that as being condescending. So before i follow through with that thought pattern, i was like. Let me look at her other videos and she basically starts all of her videos behind my sweet baby, so i had to cross that off the list, so i was like no, it's not her being condescending like she always does this so girl. Then i kept listening to the video and miss monique said that she was in the airport wherever she was, and the girls were um rolling up to the airport, with their scarves on their bonnets and everything. And she said that she wants the girls to dress. Like the queens that they are and to like, be able to command the respect that they deserve, and i was like okay like monique, is what like late 50s, something like that, like y'all, already know how that older crowd rolls, like that's the generation who grew up In church, where you had to wear a dress to skirt um, you had to wear a dress or skirt the church. You had to be dressed to the knives them. The ladies who'd be wearing the hats like what did y'all expect like the older generation, my generation and even like the younger kids. That'S coming up in this next generation are completely different, so i really don't understand what the girls expected out of her now. This is, this is part of my two cents with it. I think that some people are upset because she's saying that black women shouldn't wear bonnets when a bonnet really can just be seen as a hat or a helmet of salvation as dear jackson's wife. I said this is my helmet of salvation, where you see a bonnet. This is my helmet of salvation girl. Let me stop so anywho um. It'S really just a hat. It'S really no different than a hat. I think that the inherent difference is that is predominantly worn by black women to go to sleep, so we're going to take the piece of it being predominantly worn by a black woman and then the fact that it's traditionally born to go to sleep. Personally, i don't wear my pajamas out in public. That'S just me so anything that i wear to go to sleep, i'm not going to wear out in public, no matter how cute it is um and then second there's this idea of it being inherently racist to say that black women shouldn't wear bonnets out in public, Because it's black women who predominantly wear it, whereas if a white woman made it fashionable, then the girls, the white girls, may be okay with black women wearing bonnets out in public. Another piece of it is that miss monique had her robe on when she was presenting. This information, so one could say that she wasn't dressed appropriately to be delivering the message, because the messenger needs to look appropriate when delivering a message about looking appropriate girl. I don't make the rules, i don't make the news. I just report it. Okay, that's that's just what the girls are saying, so i think that the piece that bothers me about it not deeply because the way that she delivered it was in loving kindness, but the little piece that bothered me was that she was correcting black women in front Of other people, which will include white people, so i have this thing about black people saying the n word in front of white people. I feel like if you're gon na say you can do whatever you know, but don't say it in front of white people and i feel the same way about black people complaining about other black people in front of white people, because i feel like it gives white People ammunition to continue their prejudice and their racial bias against us. That'S just me, however. I also can understand the fact that monique is a public figure, so if she does it in a public setting, then she's going to be able to reach more listeners and then maybe they'll be able to change their mind now girl. We know that the whole situation with monique and netflix didn't go over too well when she went public with that, but maybe she thought that the bonnet gate was gon na be different. Maybe she thought that she could change some minds with bonnie gang girl. I don't know i don't know also. I think that there is a difference between wearing a bonnet to and through the airport than wearing a bonnet on the plane, because girl, if i got a flight to dubai or thailand, which are very long flights, i'm going to wrap up my hair, like black women's Hair is super delicate and it cost a lot of money to get it done. So i get it while black women are wearing their bonnets to the airport. I just want to do it, but i get it. I also think that a piece of it has to do with the typical bonnet wearer, because generally the person who wears their bonnet out in public falls within a certain class of individuals. So it might not necessarily be the bonnet, but it's what the bonnet represents. So when other people see that group of people wearing their bonnet out in public, they are then going to again have that racial bias and apply it to other black women. And yes, we know that that is problematic, because one person does not represent the race as a whole. I think that the assumption that miss monique had was that if we look better, we will be treated better and girl. We know that that's rooted in racism anyway, because black women had been straightening their hair so that they could blend in with white folks. Black women have been changing everything about who they are to blend in with the dominant culture, so that we could potentially be accepted and we've never been accepted. So i think that the the fight could be well, i'm aware of my body regardless, because they're not going to treat me better than if i didn't wear my bonnet. But maybe that's the fight that people are trying to say like what i do like about. Miss monique is that she she just delivered it in loving kindness. I think that that is a problem with what is going on in our nation right now is that when people have a difference of opinion, they usually don't deliver or some people don't deliver that information in a loving kind manner. They are sometimes so open-minded that they become closed, and i know that i really had to work on this um. I really didn't see much harm in what she was saying aside from the racial implications of trying to perform, so that we can be accepted by white people. I think that's why a lot of the intellectual black crowd was upset um, but i do like what she said as far as if you want to be addressed as a queen, because we're always saying hey queen, yes queen all of that stuff, then you need to Present yourself as such, like you, don't see, queens walking around looking regular, sloppy and all other stuff like i'm gon na be beat like. Even if the face doesn't have makeup on it. I'M going to look clean. I am going to look nice, i'm not going to have on some old rattata bonnet, i'm not like girl. Can you imagine seeing me walking through the airport, with this bonnet on? Okay? Okay, maybe not this one! What about this one? This is the worst one! First of all, i don't even like walking around my house on this bonnet. I do it because i'm at home, but i got a husband here and girl like uh-uh, i mean what about this one, because it got the african print on it. Do this make me a queen, because i got the african print? What about this one, i'm not doing it, i'm not doing it. Um, however, like i said, i do understand that essentially, a bonnet is simply a head covering a hat. A do-rag men wear do-rags in the airport, and people don't complain about that. So is this racist and also based on the patriarchy girl um? No, i don't know, but again she delivered it in loving kindness. So i don't think that there was any reason to attack her or to feel like she was attacking anyone. I think that it's possible for both sides to be true. I think that is possible for someone to say uh. I don't really think that wearing sleep, clothes to the airport is okay, like yes be comfy, maybe you could put your bonnet on once you get on the plane when you finna go to sleep or whatever, and at the same time i also think that it's important To acknowledge that black women's hair and appearance has always been um called out by the majority, i mean we just get a laws to protect black women to be able to wear their natural hair at work. So i get what miss monique is saying, but i also get what the opposers are saying but, like i said, i think that both sides could be true. Maybe because i'm a therapist - and i love the gray area, but we're gon na stay right in the gray area, and i am not picking a side. Okay, that's all that. I got ain't got no mo see you next time.