The Moment My Sister Told Me She Would Prefer My Hair Straight At Her Wedding

As of 2 months ago, my older sister is newly engaged! She is the first out of my mom’s 3 children to be engaged, so this is pretty exciting, for everyone.

For me especially, because I am going to be one of her bridesmaids, and I’ve never been in anyone’s wedding before. So, the wedding planning has been off to a rapid start, and she basically hit the ground running.

But, the other night, we were having a conversation on 3-way, and my sister made a comment about how she wants her bridesmaids to look at the wedding.

One comment led to another, and she basically told me, not asked me, to wear my hair straight at the wedding, because it will look better than my wild natural hair.

I still don’t know what to think of that, because I think my hair is beautiful curly or straight, but it just immediately made me think about the insecurities that I’ve struggled with in the past about not feeling comfortable wearing my hair natural at my job, or in my graduate classes, or other professional settings.

So is natural hair not good enough or pretty enough or sophisticated enough to be worn at a wedding? I mean, why should one feel the need to tame their natural hair, and wear it straightened vs curly, based on how others will perceive it.

Also, I know my sister didn’t mean any harm, but using adjective “wild” in front of natural hair, had a negative connotation. It immediately made me think, when people are commenting on how pretty my natural hair is, are they simply lying? Because, my sister has said my hair was beautiful in the past, but it’s not beautiful enough to be seen at her special occasion.

I think that ultimately, I will appease my sister and wear my hair how she prefers, since it is her day, but I will not tame my natural hair in any other circumstance to appease anyone else. My natural hair shouldn’t offend you, and if it does, that is your problem, and not mine.

Have you ever been told by a family member that you had to straighten your hair for a special occasion?