The Ultimate Guide To Taking Care Of Your Mixed Child’s Hair

Having multi racial children is nothing new, as a matter of fact the diversity of our world especially one that is moving towards unification actually encourages the mix of races.

We often get a lot of emails about hair care from white women specifically who are caring for mixed race girls who typically have a mix of textures much different from their own.

If your background is mostly European your hair care is a lot different from your daughter who is mixed with African heritage. With that said we saw a need to fill the gap and give you everything you need to take of your child’s hair like a boss.

Before we jump into an awesome regimen for your child, it is imperative that you understand just what you are working with so here are four things you must always consider when caring for her hair.

1. She might be tender headed

I want to make this point first because many of the queries we receive often start with “she wont let me touch her hair”. The thing is we have to be sensitive to children with curly hair because it is prone to tangles and raking normal tools, like a brush of comb might cause snagging and will cause pain.

We all know how children are, especially toddlers, the first sign of pain will be the last time you ever get to “do that” again, so be mindful.

2. Curly hair is fragile

If you grab a strand of hair from your hair brush and a strand of hair from your daughter’s hair brush you will notice that along her hair strand are curls and bends which are multiple opportunities for her hair to break.

Your hair strand is straight and will probably be only susceptible to breakage at the ends based on normal wear and tear. This means that handling her hair with the utmost care is imperative if you want to keep the hair healthy.

3. Her hair is naturally ‘poofy’

It is hard for little girls of color to understand the differences between your hair which is naturally straight in comparison to hers which is naturally big and poofy as she might describe it. This is why you have to understand her hair first so that you can help her to be comfortable with her hair and in her own skin.

Curly hair is bigger because, well its curly! The strands are naturally attract to each other causing massive clumps all over the head. Frizz comes with the territory at times and the more you learn to love her frizz and not see it as a problem the more she will love it too.

4. Her hair is naturally dry

This is probably one of the biggest issues we hear from everyone with curly hair and moms caring for African American kids are no different.

It is like a never ending battle with the dryness and you often feel as if you are either doing something wrong or that something is wrong with her hair.

We are here to tell you, there is nothing wrong with her hair and with the right techniques you will combat the dryness she is having.

Why is curly hair dry and porous?

We have already mentioned that curly hair is naturally dry which means that your task as caretaker is to avoid dryness at all costs.

One of the most important jobs that our scalp has is providing moisture to our hair in the form of sebum. Put simply Sebum is an oily substance secreted by the sebaceous glands on the scalp meant to nourish and moisturize the hair.

On a straight strand the oil travels along the length of the strand with ease during daily grooming and the hair tends to be moisturized easily.

On a curly strand the oil does not travel in a straight line so it is very difficult for it to get to all areas especially the ends of the strand which is why curly hair tends to be dryer than straight hair.

Another thing to consider is porosity. Porosity is your hair’s ability to absorb and lose moisture and is broken down into three categories: low, normal and high. If your daughter’s hair porosity is low, it simply means it is very difficult for her hair to absorb moisture and when it does absorb moisture it can stay moisturized for long periods of time.

If her porosity is high, she absorbs moisture very quickly but looses it just as quickly so it is very difficult for her hair to go for long periods of time without moisture being applied to her hair. Normal porosity is a delicate balance of both low and high. The porosity test is a good indicator of what category your hair falls into, just drop a strand of clean hair in a glass of water.

If the hair sinks immediately the strand is porous, if the hair floats at the top then her porosity is low, if the hair stays in the middle of the glass of water then her hair is normal.

Now it is time to build a regimen

A regimen is always broken down into three specific categories, cleansing, conditioning and styling, when you do it this way things get easier and we can talk about each category separately.

Before you start the process of wash day, we suggest separating her hair into workable sections (4-6 sections) so that it is easier for you and less stressful for her. You can opt to add a little oil to her hair as a pre treatment, it helps to loosen tangles and if you are using a shampoo that has sulfates, the oil protects the strands from getting too dry.

Keep the sections in her hair from the start of wash day to the end, this will make wash day and absolute breeze.

Cleansing

Your focus on wash day should be getting her scalp clean and making sure you do not further dry out her hair. The best type of shampoo for your little one should be one that is free of sulfates. There are so many options for gentle cleansers on the market these days so you have choices.

You can choose a sulfate free shampoo, you can try a ‘cowash’ which is short for conditioner washing or you can use a gentle cleanser specifically geared towards children.

Use your cleanser to cleanse her scalp thoroughly, pay attention to her hair but do not rub the strands together in an effort to wash them. This causes friction and tangling, smooth the section in a downward motion to get the shampoo out and use the balls of your fingers to rub her scalp to loosen any debris from her scalp.

Some shampoos will help to detangle her hair enough that you can cleanse and put each completed section into individual twists or clip away.

Conditioning and deep conditioning* 

We suggest trying to find a great conditioner for her hair that adds a ton of moisture to her dry strands. When you choose a conditioner look for the healthiest conditioner you can find. One that is free of silicones and has natural ingredients.

Many curlies tend to be brand loyal because once you find a brand that cares about what goes into a product you tend to want to stick with it.

For children we prefer to keep the products as natural as possible because you want to at leat recognize most of the ingredients that you are using in your child’s hair.

Condition the hair not the scalp in sections from roots to tip. As you condition each section twist or clip away the section before doing a final rinse.

It is ok if her hair is in twists while you rinse the conditioner out of the hair, in other words leaving a little conditioner in her hair isn’t harmful.

Deep conditioning

Deep conditioning for children is very helpful if your child has high porosity and low porosity hair because conditioning with heat or for a longer time than normal will help her to retain moisture. Deep conditioning also helps with adding extra moisture to her dry hair and helps the moisture to last longer.

If her hair is porous then using a protein based deep conditioner* can help rebuild the strand so that she can retain moisture in her hair.

There are products on the market specifically geared towards deep conditioning*, or you can use the same conditioner you used to condition her hair to deep condition her hair, just read the ingredients so that you can treat her hair according to her needs.

All you have to do is apply the conditioner to the hair put a plastic cap on her hair and use a heat source to warm up the conditioner for deeper penetration.

This process is much easier for older children than it is for toddlers who probably wont be bothered with the entire process in the first place. Distractions always help, toys in the tub, or cartoons on an ipad for the more tech savy tot!

Loosen each section, add the deep conditioner* or conditioner, and re twist the section clipping it out of the way until her entire head is saturated. Leave the conditioner on for as long as you can and then rinse each section!

Tip

You can deep condition her hair dry before you shampoo to get it out of the way, not only does this help to detangle the hair it also gets the process out of the way so that by the end of it all your child isn’t so overwhelmed by the process.

Detangling

Up to this point you have been just working with your hands using your fingers to part her hair adding products and doing some light detangling. The art of finger detangling for curly hair is an absolute must to master because you want to avoid breaking her hair at all costs.

During the process you may have noticed some shed hair that will need to be removed using your fingers at first. The sections you created at the start of wash day will be the same sections you will be detangling. If you have to divide the hair even further, then go ahead and do that to avoid damage.

Before detangling her hair use a t-shirt to squeeze out the excess water in her hair. Never use a towel because towels cause friction and tangles.

Squeeze each section and apply a leave in conditioner to the hair. If her hair is porous choose a leave in conditioner* that has protein in it as well as moisturizing properties. Leave in conditioners add moisture to the hair and help to detangle the hair as well.

Spray the leave in on each section using your fingers to remove any shed hair and then use a wide tooth comb* to detangle the section gently, twisting it once you have finished detangling.

Oils*

Oils give the hair a nice shine and when you add it to the hair as the final step to conditioning it can help the hair to retain moisture longer.

This is also known as sealing the hair and helps to condition the strand in preparation for styling the hair.

Choose a natural oil, whichever one you and your daughter prefers and apply the oil after adding the leave in to her hair. You do not need a lot of oil, and if your daughter has fine hair, you can probably skip the oil step alltogether.

Styling

Styling your daughter hair has to be the best part of wash day, for one you are in the home stretch and if you do it right you wont have to touch her hair again for a few days.

If your daughters hair is very curly you want to choose protective styles that keep the hair stretched and detangled for a few days.

Braided styles and twists tend to last the longest and they keep the hair moisturized longer than if you had her curls loose for the week.

One of the best solutions for moms who are learning how to work with curly or kinky* hair is styling the hair so it lasts until wash day.

Shopping List

We know that along with this guide you will need a shopping list so we thought we would list some product suggestions for your little one. We tried to mix it up with a variety of trusted brands, that way if you want to try other products in the line you are free to do so.

Cleansers

Shea Moisture Mango & Carrot Kids Extra-Nourishing Shampoo 8oz

As I Am Coconut Cowash Cleansing Conditioner 16 Ounce

Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo with Peppermint, Tea Tree and Eucalyptus Botanicals, 16-Ounces

Curly Q’s Curlie Cutie Cleansing Cream – 8 oz. bottle

Conditioners

Shea Moisture Mango & Carrot Kids Extra-Nourishing Conditioner 8oz

TRESemme Conditioner Luxurious Moisture, Moisture Rich, Vitamin E, 32 oz

Curly Q’s Coconut Dream Moisturizing Conditioner 8-Ounce Bottle

Mixed Chicks Kids Conditioner 8 oz

Trader Joe’s Nourish Spa Balance Moisturizing Conditioner – Cruelty Free

Deep Conditioners

Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Masque Deep Treatment

Carol’s Daughter, Black Vanilla ( Moisturizing) Hair Smoothie

Leave In Conditioners

Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioning Repair Cream, 16 Ounce

Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave In Conditioner/Detangler – 8 oz

Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture & Shine Leave-in Conditioner

Tgin Green Tea Super Moist Leave in Conditioner

Butters* and oils*

tgin Butter Cream Daily Moisturizer for Natural Hair

Now Foods Grape Seed Oil

DIY Shea butter* cream:

DIY – Hair oil*

Nutiva Organic Virgin Coconut Oil

Final words

Caring for your little girls hair might be daunting at first only because you are not used to how curly hair works but we guarantee that even though wash day might not be perfect, that with practice and consistency you will handle her regimen like a pro.

It is very important as moms of girls with kinky* curly hair that she feels comfortable with her curls and that starts with you and how you care for her hair.

Love her curls and teach her to love them as well you will not believe how this helps on wash day because her mind will already be in ‘care and love’ mode.

We encourage you to take a look at our kids gallery to see a variety of styles for young children as well as read more posts surrounding some of the things we talked about such as porosity and combating dryness.

Finally join our forums where you can ask any questions you would like about your own personal experience with your little princess as well as get product suggestions from other moms in our community.