Is a Frizzy Fro More Desirable Than Laid Curls?

Since I started curl training my hair six months ago and began to see definition and health return to my hair, I have been on the quest to see how far I could push the bounds of my hair’s hydration in order to achieve hair that is completely frizz-free, has movement, and more than anything else, hair that lays.

The reason for this is that as my hair grows, I would like to be able to see my true length, and if my hair doesn’t hang, as most type 4 curls don’t, I would be stuck in just one style—a chic, but standard fro. As someone who loves to experiment and change their hairstyle often, this is the equivalent of a life sentence. In short, I need my hair to be versatile.

For the last few months, I have been filled with grand delusions of conquering that old enemy of type 4 hair, shrinkage.

As I have inched closer to this goal, and have slowly began to rid myself of the frizzy roots that have plagued my natural hair, it has resulted in my hair laying, rather than being stuck in the standing position that is the trademark of an afro.

In my mind I can see myself in ten years with beautiful, long tresses, and it is a vision I focus on to motivate me on my natural hair journey. However, I have noticed that whenever I wear my hair in this “laid” state, which takes a lot of effort and work, I do not receive any compliments on my hair.

Yet, when I am lazy and decide to just rinse, blow dry, and go, I receive more compliments. The only difference is that the frizzy roots that I hate so much are what give my hair the look of a voluminous afro.

It bewilders me that on my lazy days I seems to get more compliments than on the days when I try so hard to achieve a style that I believe looks good.

I think what it comes down to is the fact that although we live in a society where long, flowing hair is presently queen, we have yet to forget the long time reign of Big Hair, who was queen for 30 straight years (1960-1990).

Have you gotten more compliments when you’ve rocked easy styles vs styles that require a lot more effort? What do you make of this reaction?