Adults Constantly Ask My Daughter If Her Hair Is Real And It Is So Awkward

Is that your real hair darling or did mum purchase it from the salon?

My eldest daughter was asked this question when she was 3 years old by an air hostess. We were on board South African Airways when the air hostess posed this question to my daughter.

This air hostess was a woman of colour like us. My daughter just looked at the lady as she did not know what to say and to be honest, she had not had any extensions* added to her hair in her 3 years of life.

Anyway, a 3-year-old cannot answer such question so it was basically directed to me. I responded politely stating that it was her real hair and she has never had extensions*.

Why didn’t this lady instead compliment the beautiful hair style and instead ask so she can be informed on how to create the style herself? It seemed to me that is was just a way to discredit her beautiful hair by assuming it was not real.

Did mum put something on your hair?

My daughter again looked perplexed because she did not understand what this person was asking. This time she must have been about 9 years old.

She was like, yes mum puts oil because that’s exactly what I use for her hair. The reason behind this lady’s curiosity was because my daughter’s hair felt soft and it was also silky straight. Most people think this can only be achieved using a relaxer, however, I beg to disagree.

When we got home my confused daughter asked me what the lady meant, so I had to explain that the lady meant did I put a relaxer in her hair. Of course, this raised some more questions about what a relaxer does and so I explained that to her as well.

Is that all yours?

Probably a week ago she was asked again if her hair was all hers, now that she is older and more
comfortable with the people she was able to read the body language of the person asking.

This person is transitioning to natural hair and was admiring her hair and not being critical. So my daughter responded jokingly by saying “yes the last time I looked it was all mine”.

In my opinion, she handled that quite well and by now I think she is used to awkward comments from strangers about her hair and understands that it might just be something she will have to deal with until she is an adult.

People can be very strange sometimes! What awkward comments have you received about your or your kids’ hair? How did you deal with them?