Straightening Your Natural Hair a Sign of Insecurity?

Contents:

• Some Of Us Weren’t Ready
• Impatient Or Incompetent Stylists
• We Want The Best Of Both Worlds
• Final Thoughts

So straightening hair is a sign of insecurity which indicates that you hate yourself? Well according to some in the natural hair community that is the diagnosis for those of us who enjoy straight styles. This is something that is still happening in 2017; people are being snubbed because they choose to temporarily alter their natural hair by straightening it.

I honestly can’t understand how temporarily altering your hair texture makes you any less natural, but there are some in the community, who are all up in arms about what someone does with their own hair. What’s up with that?

I get that there is a strong resurgence of black consciousness, and there are those who claim that altering the kink in your hair – albeit temporarily- is evidence that you are psychologically damaged and hate yourself.

While I can appreciate that our psychology is responsible to a great extent for the decisions we make, I cannot accept that everyone who straightens hair is self-hating; a ‘Massa’ worshipping person with the house slave mentality, seeking acceptance from Caucasians who have projected their own ideas of beauty onto us. I would love to believe, and dare say, there are those of us in the community who are very firm in who we are, have a strong sense of self, and love ourselves so much it may even be perceived to be narcissistic.

We are not saying that self-hating blacks don’t exist, we just think it is a bit irresponsible to broad-brush everyone who enjoys straightening hair with that particular classification. So let’s look at why many in the natural hair community may choose to straighten their hair.

Some Of Us Weren’t Ready

Many of our mothers and grandmothers grew up in that era where the afro-textured hair was made out to be the badge of shame. In their ignorance and out of love – because they didn’t want their babies to have anything that would make them stick out as targets for Caucasian ridicule- they routinely straightened our hair as soon as they thought we could bear the heat of a hot comb. It was either that or a relaxer or Jheri curls. For this reason, many of us grew up without any experience of dealing with our true texture.

Fast-forward decades later to this point and we decide we want to have our natural hair, but we didn’t bargain on the challenges we would face when we became natural. Some saw the spiral curls of fellow black naturalistas and had unrealistic expectations that ours would look exactly like that of the natural hair icon on YouTube; then came disillusionment when we learned that it was not to be.

For someone with hardly any experience dealing with textured hair, this can be a bit overwhelming. It’s not that such people hate themselves, it’s just that they stick to what’s easier. In fact, many have healthy tresses tucked away under straight weaves*, all because of the convenience.

Impatient Or Incompetent Stylists

Since some never had the opportunity to experiment with their hair, they didn’t learn to do afro-textured styles. Believe it or not, some can’t do a proper two strand twist much-less an intricate cornrow style and unless one is desirous of spending their entire life detangling, a perpetual afro might not be practical. Enter the stylist, except, many stylists are still in the novice category when it comes to knowledge of proper afro-textured hair care. Think about it, how many cosmetology schools offer afro-textured hair as part of the curriculum? Google it, we’ll wait…

In fact, it was last year that we saw how Isis Brantley had to fight a legal battle for the right to have a braiding studio that also teaches care of natural hair. Given all these factors, if I worked so hard to nurture my hair, I would not trust stylists who barely know what they are doing to try to style my hair for fear that they would root out the precious strands that took so long to grow.

Another issue is the availability – or lack thereof- of sufficient salons or stylists dedicated to the care of natural hair. I spend loads of time listening to my fellow naturalistas in my Type 4 Naturals community asking if there are any natural salons or stylists in their area. Sometimes when you do find a knowledgeable stylist they are pressed for time since they don’t want to turn down business and they end up rushing sometimes, leaving you with mixed feelings. You might like the finished do but notice that some of your strands were broken because of the rush.

Did I mention that sneaky practice of some stylists slipping relaxer into your shampoo or conditioner? So some find it easier to grab some heat protectant*, a blow dryer*, and a flat iron* and rock a DIY straight style.

While we’re on the topic of stylists, let’s also talk about how some of these stylists want to charge more for natural hair. They take a look at your head and all of a sudden a $20 style becomes $80-$100. It’s as though they are punishing you for being natural. Well some of us can’t take that kind of pressure on our pockets when we’re just a few dollars away from being broke so it’s easier to straighten it and rock that for a while.

We Want The Best Of Both Worlds

Sure natural hair is the bomb. The shrinkage is fun once we embrace it and many of us love the versatility of natural hair that comes from it being so voluminous, but sometimes we just want to switch things up for a few days and wear a straight style to lay off twisting and combing – read manipulation- and let the hair be.

It’s not that an afro isn’t the bomb, but we do get a kick out of seeing our length too. It’s at this time that we get to reward ourselves for the time and patience we put in, stand in awe of our progress and share that with others who never knew natural hair could be so fun. Is that so bad? This way, we get the best of both worlds and I can’t see anything wrong with that. In fact, doing so enables us to show that there is an alternative to permanently damaging your follicles with creamy crack.

I can’t tell you the number of people who have taken a serious interest in embracing natural hair when they recognized they could get the straight look without a relaxer. This is perhaps because many black girls have always wanted long hair and didn’t think it was possible to grow natural hair long. They more than likely thought that what little length they had would only be shown if they wore relaxed hair.

Final Thoughts

I hardly think we should belabor this point because, at the end of it all, we all want to be able to express our preference of style. If I am not my hair, how does straightening it signify insecurity? Is that all I am? Isn’t there more to us than our physical appearances? For centuries we have been trying to get the Caucasians to appreciate that we are more than our hair and our skin color. Obviously, many of them still don’t get it. But why should our own seek to join them in diminishing our worth too?

There are many accomplishments for us to feel secure about. Things like the love of a supportive family, tracing your ancestry to a specific tribe, academic achievements, being your own boss and contributing to your community and lots of other milestones. Straight hair is a style for us so let’s not get too philosophical over something that does not categorically determine how we all regard ourselves.

Slavery did a number on our community. There are manifestations of the effect of it that cannot be denied, but that doesn’t mean that every person who decides to straighten their hair is insecure. It is just another style. I get that black consciousness is catching like wildfire and I hope it continues to sweep the nation, but I feel that a little handful of the community has suddenly become so learned, so ‘woke’, that they think it is ok to get up on a soap box and chew out people for straightening their hair.

It is just a style, it washes out and the kinks and curls come back. So stop already, next thing you will be saying that braid outs, twist outs and cornrows are signs of insecurity because we have to manipulate the hair to get that look. If you do this you are no better than the Caucasians who imposed their standards on us and stifled our creative expressions, because you are trying to impose your own beauty standards on a whole group of people and that’s not ok.

Hard comparison to take? Well, the cap fits. Our hair is capable of so much; why should we limit ourselves to the styles you think we should wear? Let people come into their own consciousness and figure themselves out. At the end of the day, each man must walk his own path.

Add your voice to the conversation. Do you think straightening natural hair signifies insecurity? What do you say to those who imply that you are insecure because you enjoy straight styles?