Hair Depression And How To Get Out Of The Funk

I am not sure when it began, or even if I am completely over it, but I had a period during my pregnancy and after the birth of my son where I went through what I called hair depression. I do not know if there is a textbook definition for this but I can definitely describe it to you.

I didn’t mind co washing my hair but, to hell heck with deep conditioning*. I didn’t want to see a steamer* much less sit under one, no styling just messy buns and finger detangling but not with any sort of energy or focus. I did not purchase any new products or try anything new and I yanked out my single strand knots. All in all I was completely over my hair.

Hair depression is pretty much that point in your hair journey when you don’t feel like doing a daggone thing to your hair and you just don’t care any more.

I was at that point right before total neglect and I knew I had to get it together. Hair was my business, I wrote about it, I read blogs about it, I listened to other women as they expressed excitement over big chops and had a ton of questions about how to care for their hair.

I could answer the questions, because despite my ‘situation’ I still considered myself pretty seasoned in this natural hair thing, I have come a long way from 2009, 5 years and counting but that doesn’t mean I do not get frustrated with my own hair from time to time. The question is how do you get out of the funk?

Walk away

It is easy to say, snap out of it before you go bald! Go deep condition your hair and stop being lazy! But sometimes when you are going through this period it is better to just put your hair away in a safe place and just walk away. By safe we mean, a protective style, like braids, twists with or without added hair, or if you are like me, just bun it and forget it.

Now you can’t walk away forever but the hope is, you will miss your hair so much it will force you to do something about how you are treating it.

Maybe its not about hair

You will be surprised how stress can affect other areas of your life and the fact that you mind will tell you ‘no no, that’s the problem, its your hair” but the truth is, it may be deeper. Some of you might say, hair depression is not a thing, it can never be that serious; and you know what you are right, it might not be the hair at all.

For me it was my added responsibility, now I had this new little life that I was so in love with, will I be the best for him? What will his life be like? I was worried about everything surrounding my son and ignoring everything about me.

Eventually I had to realize that if I did not take care of me, how in the world could I take care of him? So examine your mind completely, get in touch with your feelings and really try to separate what was causing your depression, maybe you did not have to neglect your hair in the first place.

Talk about it

Find someone who understands what you might be going through and talk to them. You could go to the hubster but honestly bless their hearts, men may not get it as much as another sister in the natural game.

Find your person and just tell them, you might get a suggestion or some encouragement that might just do it for you.

Stay connected

As much as we argue and fight, this community is really an awesome one, we bicker like family but when it comes time for us to go HAM for each other we show up.

We built this city, and when you feel depressed come home to the girls because you are safe there. I never stopped reading, writing, interacting on Facebook or looking at inspiration on Instagram or Pinterest.

Being ‘social’ helped me not to go all the way AWOL and totally neglect my hair. Social media has its evils, and sometimes we need to unplug, but it is nice to know we can just plug in again when we need a boost.

Change your regimen as your hair grows

What does this have to do with depression you ask? Well, long hair isn’t as easy as it looks and as your hair grows you will have to tweak some things because it can get overwhelming without a good plan. When you get overwhelmed it is easy to just say to hell with it all and just sink into a deep dark funk. Long hair can get hot, annoying as it falls everywhere, attaches to things and Lord please don’t let that joint get dry and tangled. How do you spell nightmare!?

Instead of getting frustrated and ignoring the mop, you have to figure this thing out, you don’t have to change everything about your regimen, but you might need to accommodate more hair by paying more attention to your sections, sealing your ends more, protecting your hair. Basically everything you already do but just with more attention to detail.

Go to the party

I used to be a social butterfly in certain circles but I never got into the curly girl party scene and so this is probably more of a suggestion based on what I have noticed rather than what I have experienced. But you know that feeling you get after a great night of grown up conversation, drinks and food, it can help to get you where you need to be.

The thing is you have to just get yourself there so that might be a challenge during depression because who really wants to go to the W-Hotel for fro fest in mini twists? The best thing about going to natural parties and meet ups is there is no judgement. So if you manage to pull it together you might come out feeling amazing on the other side.

Cut it off

Or not! We are just saying that getting a fresh start can be a good thing sometimes and a buzz cut probably doesn’t sound too bad if you just want to get away from it all and just try something a bit more edgy. This is definitly a personal decision but we have seen it before, look at Shameless Maya or Mahogonyknots from YouTube, They totally went barber shop short on us, and they seem to be enjoying it.

Color or weave*

You can even add color to your hair to change things up, and color does help. The only thing we would say is if you are not in the mood to maintain it after it has been processed then give it a miss. We wouldn’t suggest trying color unless you are totally ready to get away from funk mode.

Now if you want to try a weave* or clip ins* to get your exotic look on, then certainly try that, it is all about getting a new look that will change your perspective.

What did I do to get out of the funk? I wrote my way out of it, I kept blogging and connecting with the other natural women until one day my son said he would much rather play with Barney than me, and I said that’s ok because I can at least play with my hair!

Have you ever been through hair depression?