Do You Get Frustrated With Your Natural Hair? We Have 4 Ways You Can Get Over That Frustration

“I hate my hair. I hate my hair! I hate my hair!!” I would have these thoughts from time to time. I would get so frustrated and overwhelmed with my hair, that sometimes chopping it off would be the best thing to do.

I know people with short hair would hope and dream over long hair, but sometimes long haired people would look at short haired people like, “They got it all easy.” It really is a vicious cycle and you know what? That’s okay! That’s why it’s called a hair journey. But right now? I don’t care. I’m frustrated with my hair!

When Being Frustrated Happens

I used to have fun with my hair and trying different styles, but now all I wear are buns. Don’t get me wrong, my buns would be chic and stylish but that’s all I seem to do. I don’t have fun with my hair like I used to.

My arms are tired after detangling for 15 minutes, I’m tired of waking up early for wash day, and going to bed late because of my styling routine. I mean my hair definitely has a mind of her own and most times, she wins the battles. I know I’m not the only one that feels this, I literally get tired of my hair!

Why Are We So Frustrated?

The shrinkage sucks! Bravo to you if you love your shrinkage; I mean, more power to ya sista! But for the rest of us, shrinkage sucks! I want to enjoy the arm pit length I have and show off all the work I did since my TWA. I am not loving the fact that my shrinkage is high and my coils are at ear length!

It takes too much time, energy, and money. Don’t hang up on me with this one. You natural ladies know our hair regimens do the most! There are too many steps, too many products, and it can conflict with our lives.

Come on now! Pre-poo to sealing your hair and take up 4 hours plus the 3 hours for styling. Especially for those who cook up their products on wash day, I mean face it, you aren’t going anywhere on wash day so don’t even make plans.

You just can’t get the same style twice. You just can’t seem to get that bomb twist out you did a few weeks back or that flat twist up-do is not parting like it should. You would put so much time and effort into a particular style you love, only to come up with some mess that just did not come out right.

Single strand knots are a mojo-killer. You might as well accept this one. When you have natural hair, you will come across single strand knots. It’s inevitable! You can do all the moisturizing, sealing, and trimming in the world but you will not be able to get away from the single strand knots. Looking for those special “solutions” will only let you down.

Hair refuses to dry all the way. You wanted and desired a flexi rod* set and ended up with a gloopy mess. You wanted and desired a Wash ‘n’ Go and ended up with a slimy hair – DON’T. No matter what products you used and what routine you follow, your hair will just not dry!

You have given yourself unrealistic expectations. C’mon really? One inch in one month? I don’t care what vitamin you are taking or what regimen you are following; that is clearly impossible. You need to know what your hair can do and cannot do. Forcing products or using excessive heat for a style will cause you to tear and destroy all hair aids – I know, I’ve been there.

I cannot style my hair at this awkward length. Oh yes, the awkward length stage. I will say the awkward length stage is from neck length to shoulder length. Your hair is too short to wear in a full bun or a high bun and you hair is too long to wear as a TWA. Your styling arsenal is flooded with disappointment and defeat.

My hair is too hard to manage and care for. Newbie naturalistas would mostly declare this statement and it’s understandable. I mean, you have had a relaxer your entire life and now you are at your TWA stage. Caring for natural hair is completely different from caring for relaxed hair. Oh, I absolutely get it!

How To Overcome Frustration

We can gripe, scream, yell, cry, and get to that point to where we are just done with our hair but there is one more thing: hope. Here are some tips to get over your frustration about your hair:

1. Remind yourself of your hair goals 

Are you focusing on length? Do you want healthy hair? Do you hate relaxers and will never get again? Go back to that point in your decision where you thought, “Enough is enough! I want “this” now.”

If you want length, try banding, twists, and blow drying. If you think your hair is not healthy, figure out which products or steps in your regimen where you are lacking. Have a hair journal to document what’s good and bad for your hair. Go back to that point where you were so excited about your hair.

2. Invest in a long term style

When you get lazy about your hair, that’s when you know you need a break. Don’t think that you are selling out, or you are a failure at being part of #teamnatural. Don’t let that get to you. We all have been there and we all need a long-term break sometimes.

Invest in Box Braids, Senegalese Twists, Crochet Braids, sew-in weaves*, etc. Get whatever you will be happy with during your long term break. Once that time frame is up, you will be rebooted and refreshed to do your hair again.

3. Go to a salon or have someone you trust to do your hair

Sometimes the simplest and shortest YouTube hair channel or blog tutorial just doesn’t help you to style your hair. Let your stylist do the work for you. Make sure you give them certain instructions and expectations on your hair. You just go in, sit down, and enjoy the pamper session.

4. Don’t switch regimens and products so much

Find out what works for you and stick with it. You really only need 5 to 8 products to have an effective hair regimen. Do NOT follow every new trend or awesome hair product that is get raving reviews. 9 times out of 10 that product will be old news, and another will be the “product you need to buy.”

Yes, we can hate our hair. Yes, we can get so frustrated at time. But hey! I wouldn’t trade my hair for any other texture in this world. This is the hair God crowned me with, and I will rock it every which way I can. Frustration happens *shrugs*.

What do you do when you get frustrated with your hair?