Birthing Experience | Installing Wig Ft.Junoda Hair By Sezzle

Like really really really crazy right now, like um, i just got my nails done my feet. Hey emerald, shh, nail's done she's got my feet. I just did acrylic on my toes for the first time. Usually i just do like my big toe acrylic, but i did all my feet acrylic and it looks really really nice anyways back to the wig, i'm going to show you how this wig i'm about to install because it's really cute - and i can't wait to do My hair, he whining he wants to get out. I have him in his munchkin chair, listen to the rain, listen to the rain! This don't work. This don't work at all, but whatever look at his little fat legs, y'all, mm-hmm, okay, guys! So here is a close-up. Look on the wig 26 inch, 180 density lace, and this is how it looks it's body wave. He just want to be heard yo, i'm about to do a side swoop and yeah stay tuned for the look right now we're about to bleach the knots pluck it and do everything else you have to do to it. Here'S a close-up look on the knots okay, so we're using bw2 bleach and the 50 developer, okay guys. So this is the style and now we're about to lay the baby hairs. This is giving for real. This lace is really good. I really like this lace and this hair is so soft super soft. I need to do my makeup and fix myself. Okay, guys and my hair is done, it's laid as you can see. This is my 26 inch density. It came body wave originally, but i like my hair bone straight, so we straightened it and did the size through, and it's done i'm about to go to my makeup guys. I'M also going to put all this info for you guys about this wig below in the description box, including some discount codes. If y'all want to shop, it's really pretty, and this hair is so soft. So soft, hey guys, i'm ready and we're heading to brash birthday dinner. Let me show you how the outfit hold on so we have the alexander wang bag so cute that my man bought me like last summer with the shoes to go with them. It'S a little. Pretty and sparkly, and then i have on the sparkly amirys and this top so yeah very cute. What hey nice dinner want meal number two. Well, that was a fun night at the lux hideout and we go home so guys today is day two of brash birthday weekend. It is friday. Yesterday was thursday and i'm here getting ready. I have on this fendi skin set from kim kardashian and i'm about to put my lashes on finish my makeup and we're heading to the club. He has a hosting tonight. So that's what we're doing tonight. So we just left the club we're on the way home good thing. I brought my slippers with me because the heels does not give me it doesn't matter how comfortable they are they're, not getting. Oh, my god, it's so dark. What the hell is what i can fix my camera, so yeah we just went to the club. We went to an after hour because why not? We have a baby right now, so we just want to enjoy ourselves and he's tired. He didn't want to go. Oh, my god, do you think that doesn't include me either or will have the same responsibilities and we will be the same amount of equal tire, because i do the night shift. We do the morning either way, yeah we're on the way home. Now we went to the diner, then we went to the club, we went to an outdoor and then we went to the diner and i don't know if i could tell i'm not smack. I had like three shots and some champagne, because i don't do. I don't do the shots, but do this break this i'm like do some shots yeah, so we're going home now and we're going to sleep for a few and we're going to. Let me do that. Yeah we're going to pick up baby emerald. I just miss him. So much right now, i'm just thinking of the faces because he's just so cute. We were just talking about him and i was like oh she let me go for it, but he's just so cute and i can't wait to show him and all my friends keep telling me the same line. You had the perfect baby, you had the perfect baby. He'S literally perfect y'all can see you're gon na, be like, oh, my god yeah. You guys should know that by now, though, look at this come on but, like the perfect looks he's tired he's been tired since earlier, like i've been saying earlier, i don't want him to feel like trapped, because we have a baby now he can't go out and Dress to have fun, but he really wouldn't mind he wouldn't care he likes to be home. If he'd have to do it like, he won't do it he'll be like i don't give a [ __ ] like it won't mean a lot to him, but i had to make it like, oh my god, so why my little fat is slowly going away, but I'M back y'all, i'm back and don't be harassing my instagram like that dead ass. So i'm still trying to set my camera up to where y'all can see my food. I don't have a crazy seafood boy. You because i just can't do all that. I got my baby in the room taking a nap right now and if you wake up, i'm gon na have to run there and if i have to run there, i don't have no clubs on. I said clubs no gloves on, or none of that. So i got something light. I got some fried seafood today and that's what i'm going to be eating. I had to get two books from my nightstand and my living room just to hold this food up, so you can see it because i don't know if you do care about seeing it, but it is a mukbang. So i did want y'all to see it, even though i'm about to show you how close up so i got my cajun fries, my fried shrimp and my fried fish. I never get fried fish, but i tried it from my man before and i actually liked it. I got my pink sauces right here and this food is from captain louis, if you're, located in jersey, even if you're not located in jersey, it's not too far from the bronx. It'S not too far from the city, it's in fort lee and it's fire. I feel like they have the best seafood that i've ever tasted in my life, i don't try to every seafood, but i think this one is the best so yeah. Let me get started with this video, though, for my baby wake up. I got to make this quick all right, so let's do this, okay guys! So i know it's been a very very long month. I am adjusting to motherhood and it has not been hard. It'S just hard for me to record and take care of my baby, because by time he is like taking a nap or something. I just want time for myself i'll sit here, i'll sit for corona. I watch a whole show for like three hours straight, like i just be wanting to do things myself and not sit here and sit in front of the camera. I just be having other things i have to do, and even not, if that, like not even time for myself but time to clean time to do laundry, i have to wash bibs and all type of [ __ ] like every two days like you should know. This, if you're a mom for the girls who are moms, because i wasn't a mom but for the girls who are mom yesterday, it's like it's really not easy to juggle both and once i'm trying to really be a mom and a bad [, __ ] at The same time, and then when i am not taking care of my baby, i have club hostings, you know club appearances. I have to do things like that, so it's like by time. I come home, i'm tired. I pick my baby from my mom's house and i'm just like out of it and i just don't feel like staying in front of a camera, not that i don't feel like it, but i just really don't be having the time to so yeah and a lot Of the times, i'm taking that my baby, taking a nap, i'm taking a nap, so you guys um, i'm just here today to talk about a lot of questions that you guys been asking me about on instagram like basically about motherhood. I honestly was feeling to do this video because i do have a couple things to say, but yeah i'm just gon na get started. I have the questions in my notes and i'm about to read them to y'all as i eat my food because, honestly, it's 7 20 and i didn't even eat all day like i was washing once again had to go to the supermarket, get some dish pots because I really did not feel like doing the dishes i'll just be doing a lot of running around like i do. I'Ve been doing a lot of running around here, and this is my first meal of the day. So i'm about to i'm about to bust it down and yeah talk to you guys, okay, so i'm gon na get started and when i gave birth, y'all was asking me so many questions and i have some of them down that i took down. I have to finally hear my notes because lord it's been a very long month. I i had these questions in my inbox since i was breastfeeding a lot of people asking. Are you still breastfeeding? No, i'm not breastfeeding anymore. That'S the most painful thing i ever did in my life. That'S serious and i did it for the first two weeks and i stopped i just couldn't take it. I couldn't for the girls who could kudos to you for me. I couldn't do it and i know it was going to get better. A lot of people said it was going to get better. It honestly was starting to get better for me, but i started also thinking about my breasts and my breasts already sagging like yeah. I cannot tell, but oh i hate my breasts now like i have to go, go and get a whole boob jump, and i never liked fake boobs, like i don't care about having a fake butt, but the fake boobs was never. My thing like i didn't want to have everything fake. I don't like that. So i'm really mad and sad about that and i didn't want them to get worse because if so, then i'm going to need a lift and implants in my boobs, and i don't want to do all that. I don't want those scars like. I just really want to put an implant now. I think i still am going to need like a tiny, lift, oh or think about my baby, but i stayed with myself too yo my body's my money. Give me a second, oh damn star, oh my god, you're! So good, i honestly don't like these videos, but i did a poll on instagram y'all. Like doing my baby doing, my bang johnny just want me to sit in front of the [ __ ], so i'm like okay i'll just eat you starving, keep looking back to the side of the room, see my baby waking up, yeah, i'm taking a piece of Nap. Okay, let me try this fish real fast. This is actually good. This is high. I like the shrimp better, but this is not bad. I like this. I think i like it because it's crunchy, i honestly like fish, but i'm not a person who order it, but i'm starving sauce, i'm gon na just get fish and shrimp. Hmm. This is mango all right about to get to the question me one. Second, if you don't know me, then just know that i love water. I have to have water with everything i just i don't drink juices if i do drink juices lemonade. If i do drink soda, it's just bright, but i don't do the. I don't. Do the sodas and juices i'm really just straight water, like my sister text me, let's see what you want. The hell is that the hell you sending me that, for i feel, like it'd, be ghosts in my damn room, because my baby camera be detecting. Some of my movement detect me i'm looking at him he's straight as hell. This should be lying, i'm really trying to get some bites and just in case my baby. Wake up and i got ta cut it real fast. Then i'll get back to the question, but all right, i'm doing question right now. I'M so hungry these days, y'all all right so back into breastfeeding. A lot of people was asking me like: did i just stop producing milk, so that was like the hardest part. For me, because it hurt it so bad and i wanted to just stop and go away yeah. If you have me on social media you'll see i was on instagram asking like how do i stop this? It just hurts so bad. I have milked up and i was draining a lot if y'all watch my last videos of me unboxing my baby shower gifts, i had them a derma breast pump and the lv brush pump the moderna one. I dare use really like that because i feel like it pulls your nipple like pulling like big, so i am really jacked that when i like that one, even though my nipple was not pulling out good, that's the reason why i couldn't um attach my baby on To my breast he wouldn't latch on because my nipple was flat, so i have to like pump and then give it to him. But when i did do that, i was using your lv breast pump. I really love that breast pump highly recommend that breast pump. I feel like this is less painful than the other breast pumps, because even when i was in the hospital, when i first gave birth, they did you a breast pump right there to start like producing milk or whatever the case is, and that [ __ ] was Just hurting me i feel like it was pulling my nipple, the lv breast pump. You just attach it on it's, it's kind of expensive, it's 500, when the brass friends give today for me, but i feel like it's so worth it like. If you have on a sports bra like this, i honestly bought all the breastfeeding bras. I still have them. I just wear them on a regular just because, even though i don't do it anymore, but they're comfortable they're, like sports bras and you like it's a clip and you open it and then your boob will come out and you put it on. So that's what i would put inside of my sports bras when i was wearing those bras. I would take the breast pump and i would put it i will attach it put it there and attach it back and also since it hurt it. So bad like it'll, be the bras is tight so when it compresses your boobs, it feels kind of better and i'll. Just put inside the bra and it'll be just tight there and i really won't feel the pain and it'll just suck it all out and drain. It out and then that's when it feels the best is when the milk comes out when you wake up in the morning, and you feel that it's the worst pain in the world you got to get in the shower and honestly, a lot of people were telling Me get in the shower, put hot racks, none of that was working for me. I still was in pain the only time it helped me was when i honestly would drain my breasts like when i would just pump all the milk out, and it would feel so much better. It would be no lumps it'll, be another and it'll just be all out. So that's what helped me, but the lv breast pump really helps too, because i was wearing those tight compressed bras and when i'll throw the pump in there or just press it tight and it'll just drain all of it out and take it out and just it Works so well so highly recommend that breast pump - it's really pretty to me, and it takes out a lot of milk like it'll, fill up the whole thing mine's just filling up like at first, i didn't have no milk in my chest, like it was so hard. I was thinking like what the hell, i can't get, no milk and then, when i finally got it, i didn't want it anymore, like it was so painful and the milk ducts. I feel like it's something you can't control, because i was draining a lot in one day because that's all i was getting my baby in the beginning. I wasn't giving him no formula. I was giving him straight breast milk, because that's what i really want him to be was a breast milk baby. I still end up getting the milk nuts and that just that just hurts so bad like. Oh, my god, i will fill one up here here. I'M like what the hell i'm breath pumping a lot. Why is this happening in fact, sometimes when you're backed up and when your body starts really producing a lot of milk but yeah? That was that was, i feel like. That was the case, so that happened and for me to draw the milk up. This is a weird [, __ ], but i can tell y'all i really work. So i went to google and i went to google and google said cabbage leaves brad has to go to supermarket for me and get me cabbage and now google is said to like tear apart and put one here and one here, one cabbage leaf in this breast And one cabbage leaf in this breast like a bra, basically let it cup your boob and that's what i did for like a week straight and it's supposed to dry your milk up and it definitely dried. My milk up like a definitely dry, my milk up and when it was hurting me when my brush was hurting me i'll, get in the shower. My people instagram, was telling me to get a shower running under hot water, but i feel like it will harden my breasts more. It didn't work and it was like drink your breath. Draining respirations hurt so bad. I really didn't want to press it. So i'll. Just take a hot shower and when i come out i'll put on my tech, compression, bra and i'll put, the cabbage leaves in it overnight. I just sleep with them: [ __ ], and i just do it every day, all day i'll take one take two new ones out put two new ones in take two ones that put the noise and now honestly work. For me, one day my brushes stopped leaking and i just my milk dried up. Well, i was so happy, thank god because i couldn't take that pain and i was doing it for two weeks like i said so. I feel like it was getting better, but i just didn't want to do it anymore. I want to deal with it. It was so much for me i'm trying to be superwoman, but i couldn't do it. Y'All, okay, but, like i said in the beginning, i was not producing any milk at all and if you are a mom who want to breastfeed and that's happening to you, you have to just keep putting the breast pump on and let it suck and let it Stop and let it circulate and it'll come literally it'll just come out of nowhere like and some will start coming. I was going to come out really small things, the colostrum, something like that and then the rest of them would like start coming out of nowhere. Like you just be like what the hell so yeah, i was producing a lot of milk like i was filling up the whole both of the jars of the um elvi breast pumps, and that's what i said my baby for two weeks straight when he first was Born so it wasn't a lot, but i thought he gave him some topics so another question: a lot of people was asking me like how was the birth experience basically and i feel like it was not bad at all. I don't know if you guys watched my last videos like i said if you did, and you would know that i had covet, because a lot of people was commenting under my video that they really made you wear a mask when you gave birth, i had to Wear a mask because i had cold, but they got when my baby was born. He didn't have covet. I was so scared they had to test him for it. I was so sad. He was so literally had to put that [ __ ] all the way up. His nose - i was really mad about that, like i didn't even know how i caught it, but i was outside during my pregnancy, so i was not trying to stay home because i knew once i had the baby, i'm gon na be home a lot. So i was trying to enjoy myself and just be out with him in my stomach but yeah i had kovit and i gave birth three weeks early. So i feel like covert is what made me gave birth three weeks early, because i gave birth at 37 weeks and five days i was almost 38 weeks so yeah all i had was probably i had two more weeks and two days left and i would have Been good but i gave birth to him by 37 weeks. Thank god. It'S not premature. He was 100 fine and he didn't have covet. So i was happy about that, but i still had colbit and i was just mad because i had to have my face mask on around him and i really couldn't kiss him and hug him how i want to that's right now. I just really be all over him because those first that first week was so hard for me, like even when my covet, i did the test at home. I did two of them and even when i was saying negative, i still was wearing my face mask because i wanted to be like super cautious, because i have a newborn and i just didn't want to risk anything. So i still wasn't kissing him for like a week or so two weeks or whatever the case is, and then i was asking the doctors like if i have covered and i'm breast pumping. How is that going to work like? Can you get it today? They was like no, they were saying that he has the antibodies already or whatever the case is and so yeah i was breast pumping when i had covet also and that didn't affect him either he was good. So, thank god just thank god for all that, because i was thinking like damn like how does this work i have covered. I'M feeding my milk like this is crazy, like it's not in the milk like, but it wasn't so, but so my birthing experience besides the colvid was not bad at all and i feel like the cobra may be going labor because i didn't even know i had Kovitz right - and i was home laying on the couch and brash was playing the game, and i just wasn't feeling good. I didn't have. I had kobe before this was my second time having it. If i didn't have no symptoms, the only thing that i had was leg pain, like both of my legs, was hurting me so bad and i'm like my legs, hurt like my legs hurt like i don't know how to explain it wasn't sharp pains. It was just like sore and like it just hurted. I didn't understand why my legs was hurting and i just would go to go to sleep on it. I took a nap and then i had this one pain like. I would never forget that one pain like that was in my stomach, like underneath my belly, like i don't know how to explain. It was like attached to my belly, but inside of the bottom of my vagina. Like i don't know, i don't know how to explain it. It'S just so weird, but i had this one pain. It was like a line up straight in this corner like and it wouldn't go away and i'm like, i think, i'm just going to go to the doctor, because i want to check this pain because i don't know what this pain is about and i'm really scared. You know i have to make sure the baby's good, so we went to the doctor and the doctor told me basically i was in labor and i'm like what the hell and i'm so mad. Now i'm crying because i'm like i don't want to give birth, but i have kobe like i i want to wait to this pass. I don't want to give birth to the baby with kobe, basically like they're, like no you're, fine, most likely he's not going to get it. I never heard of an infant getting. They was like basically telling me like there's a lot of pregnant moms who had covet and gave birth, and they baby don't get it like. I never heard of the infant getting coveted and i'm like. Are you sure it was like from what i heard like not to say never, but i honestly never had an experience where the mom had covered and she gave birth and made me call it like it just doesn't happen. I'M like okay, whatever, but i was basically in labor and i was only one centimeter open and i didn't even know i was in labor because that's what i got it is not painful. I don't know why i'd be dragging it. My pain, tolerance is really high, but i don't know why i'd be dragging it like on the movies like ah screaming. I don't know. If it's i don't know, i don't know what it is, but i also did epidural. I took the pain because i waited. I don't know they were taking long to give an epidural, and i was just dealing with the pain, but i wasn't screaming or nothing i'm just like like, like inside dying inside, i was just dying inside, so it was just like a one large cramp, like i Said that was there, but it's like not a cramp. It'S like a sharp pain mixed with a crime, it's just so weird, but that one pain was annoying me and then, when i knew i was in labor like in my mind, then all the pain started coming like all the the little contractions and everything and i'm Like, oh hell, no give me this epidural like i need it right now like i need the epidural now like. I cannot wait any longer like i was being very patient, but in the end i started getting very impatient and then they came and gave me the epidural which whole child hurts my back to this day, and i kind of don't want this point where i'm kind Of cool but yeah, i'm gon na take a few more bites but yeah. So the epidural experience it's not as bad as people stay like people be like. Oh, my god, it's so scary, if you move you're gon na be paralyzed like this is true, but it's like, i just feel nothing. They numb your back or whatever the cases, but now i feel, like my whole spine, like that whole line. It feels sore forever like even right now, i'm bending it just really feels sore like the whole line middle of my back that just spinal cord. I don't know it's just very sore, so that just would that that's really. What annoys me is that spinal cord, that's very, very sore, i feel like it's like wearing off or whatever the case is but, like i said my baby's about to be three months in a week or so, and that pain is still like very much new. It'S still there it's very annoying and it just feels very sore when i bend my back. It just really bothers me and i don't get no like sharp back pains, it's just that middle spinal cord. That is just very sore and every time i go like this. My lower back right here, like when i put my hair on it. I it honestly feels like like when i'm trying to massage it. It just feels sore like it's just so weird. I don't. I don't like that. That really annoys me. That'S the only thing that annoys me because i feel like i'm gon na have that pain for a very long time. It'S not painful. It'S just like uncomfortable. I don't like that so yeah, but doing the actual epidural is not scary, and how do i feel it? It helped me my contractions a lot. I highly recommend the epidural to anybody who's like about to have a kid or giving birth or 100 recommended, because it made the birth very smooth, and it also opened you up in labor quicker. If you didn't know that right, i was like seven centimeters when they gave it to me. I think trying to remember, but i think that's what it was and by the time i got it like an hour later. I was ready to push so it makes your your labor go by fast. It definitely helps it helps with the pain and it helps you open up way faster. So that was that part and yeah i pushed about another like i had to push like 10 times. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what i was doing like. I didn't want to take a [ __ ] on myself. I felt like i was going to [ __ ] on myself and i don't want to [ __ ] on myself from the back as funny as it sounds, and as long as we've been together now like you would think i wouldn't care and i'll just be Doing it, but i was not trying to [ __ ] in front of him, and i also didn't want to [ __ ] on myself. I just didn't want to [ __ ]. I didn't want to take a doo-doo like and that's what it felt like. I felt like if i had to take a doo-doo it felt like i had to fart. It felt like it felt like all different type of stuff, but i just couldn't connect the the pushing part in my head. I didn't know how to push i'm like, because the only thing i'm thinking of is straining and take a doo-doo, i'm not thinking about. How do you push out of your vagina like? How do you do it? Do you have to strain like you're, taking a [, __ ] or like what do i do and it was to me it was very complicated. It'S really two different things, because it's like how do you put pressure on your vagina to push something out without just straining to take a [, __ ], i'm over here straight in to take a [, __ ]. When i had to push, i was doing two different type of pushes honestly and yes, it is really two different type of pushes for me, because i felt like with the the push i was doing, i was going to push a doodle out and i needed to Do a push to push a baby out, and i thought i had it and it took me like 10 questions, to push him out and he was really small, but it still took me time for you to push him out like that was just crazy. I'M like well, what type of push do i do, because the only push i know right now is to push a [ __ ] out. This is crazy, but i don't know how to explain it, but yeah, i'm not a doctor. So i'm not going to tell you how to push, but it was really weird for me because i had to i had to like grunts to push. I had to go to push from the the vagina, because if i was to just go through another way, i was [ __ ]. So it's just it's just some weird ass to a different type of pushes, but i did it and when i was doing it little by little, the doctors being very patient with me. That'S what i was very thankful for very good doctor that i had. He was a black man and he was so good and he was telling me like i'm gon na make a give birth in a way where you're not gon, na tear this, and that i'm like. Oh, my god, thank god, because i was asking my sister mad questions right before i went into labor and i'm telling her like. Oh my god did you tear this and that she said she has seven to eight stitches. I'M like, oh, my god, one since she's like they just sew you up. They don't know you i'm like. Oh, my god, that's gon na be the scariest part of my whole pregnancy, because my whole pregnancy, nothing bothered me. I was fine. That'S. I wasn't even scared to give birth like i was with the thought of it, but then, when i was actually in it i was like okay. This is not that bad. I just wanted to get over with, because that one pain that i had it wasn't. Even all the contractions together, which is that one pain and my sister yeah she was like she had messages, and i'm just like that's going to be the part that just kills my whole pregnancy like i don't want to get them stitches. I don't. I don't want that. I don't want to experience that and i didn't experience that i did it even if my baby would have been bigger. I feel like the doctor that i had he still he was being so patient with me. He was doing good. I was pushing he was like my baby head was there brash was screaming, he could see the head, there's so much hair, oh my god, and i'm just like yeah. You see him. It was just so crazy. I'M like oh okay. I got ta push, but i don't wan na leave him there. I don't wan na leave his head there being squeezed. Like i thought i don't know i was thinking around that he could suffocate like i'm. Just his head is just there like being squeezed like. I have to push him out like that's. What really made me push was panicking thinking. My baby was suffering because i'm like i don't want to just leave his head. There we meet his head. Is there he'll come back in five? All the minutes took him. Okay, now push like the head is sitting there, what the [ __ ] is going on, but oh my god, it wasn't bad. I honestly think i had the best pregnancy birth experience, everything all together like it just really made me just want five more kids, because i feel like it wasn't bad at all down to the pregnancy to giving birth. Nothing was bad for me, but the colbert part, but i don't want five kids right now running around, but i feel like the whole experience overall was not bad for me at all, and i really think it depends on what type of partner you have. What type of support and let's have a doctor when it's time to give birth, because i had a lot of girls, tell me they freaking horror stories of them giving birth and i'm just like? Well, that's horrible like why the hell did you go through that, like you know, like some people say the doctors mess the epidural up, they have to get it again and it's just like. Oh my god, i don't. I don't know about none of that, but i damn sure i'm gon na experience that so i thank god for having me blessed through my whole pregnancy and also when it was time to give birth. That was just such an easy procedure for me and it was just really light my baby's up now y'all and he's about to start whining. So i'm about to wrap this video up um. I had a couple questions in my notes, but i feel like i put them all in together into one to answer everything you guys are asking me. The last thing i just want to talk about is my baby's name and the meaning of his name, because a lot of people was like well why'd, you name him emerald and then a lot of y'all was doing our research on your own. Like i'm coming baby, i'm coming a lot of y'all doing your research on your own, like yeah, he's born this day is this? Is that y'all so right? But why are such creeps yo like what the so i'm just gon na go right out and get right into it, because i have to feed my baby and i got ta, take his stuff out the dryer and start folding it and get back to the mom Life but okay yeah, so another thing people was asking like: did you experience postpartum depression like i said, i really think it depends on your partner and your support, because i didn't experience any of that. It'S probably still too early because he's only about to be three months, but for me i haven't experienced on an inch of it, not even during my pregnancy. Not even now. I don't know it's just probably because i'm a strong minded person and nothing really bothers me that much but it's to me it's nothing to be depressed over and it's really not hard. It'S not hard being a mom, like my mom lives off the block. I want to go enjoy myself in the hookah spot right now, i can go, but it's like i'd rather really be home. My baby and just enjoy all these little moments. You know - and i can do all that when he's like one or two years so, even though i still do be going out like doing little things me and my man, my momma watch the baby and things like that when i do one time to myself or Like to go out with me and my man, my mom will watch the baby for me, but other than that we'd like to take the baby with us. We both knew parents and we enjoy it a lot and yeah the type of partner that i have. He makes it even easier. You know if y'all be watching me on social media. Like i get enough sleep, i'm able to get my sleep, i'm able to do still a lot of things. It'S just a little harder for me to be on my youtube stuff and things like that, other than that everything else is pretty normal. My sleep pattern is still the same. I still get to wake up at three in the afternoon and i'm still able to do things that i want to do. If i wanted to do them, you know so. No, i didn't get postpartum depression and yeah things like that. Just i'm not naturally a depressed person, i'm really like a strong minded girl so and i've been around kids. My whole life, like i've, raised my siblings practically like so it's like having a baby to myself and my own, even though now you can't get the baby back, you just got the baby with you. 24 7.. It'S really light for me. It'S really nothing like there's! Nothing like i was built for this [ __ ] and i honestly enjoy it. I really like having something to look forward to doing every day and just like you know not just being home, doing nothing or just on social media, or things like that. I really like being busy all day, like i really like, rushing to get out the shower and take care of maybe like i don't know why i'm weird, but i just like all that i like to rush and be busy i just like being busy. I don't know it's just it's just in me. I like to be busy. I don't know, and i don't know a lot of people, don't like it. A lot of people get overwhelmed, but me i'm really like not a lazy person, so yeah. I just like doing these things, it's honestly very entertaining to me, and i i, since younger i've, really always wanted to be a mom. Like oh bless, you baby, i really always wanted to be a mom and be like doing laundry cleaning, uh cooking, then sitting down with a baby sleep having some champagne having a corona watching the show like i like this life. I really like all this. I like doing this, i enjoy it so yeah. It'S really fun to me, like also tv, is a big thing for me now like shout out to netflix and everybody hulu and all these apps, because, to be honest, i think y'all really are like the main thing that saves, first-time moms in the first few weeks. Like i was just into a lot of shows, i was just been watching, shows and just holding my baby and brad's got to go outside to make his money and do what he has to do. So. I have to sit in the house with a baby all day and it honestly didn't bother me because i had so much things to watch and these days like now. I look forward to my shows, like things like that, make me excited bless you baby. I don't know what he's saying things like that makes me excited nowadays like these are things that i look forward to nowadays. So it's like uh um, i'll watch, a tv show like my new thing, is watching love island and if i'm watching that - and i see a new episode is on tonight - it's like, oh, my god. That makes me excited, because i have something to look forward to do while i'm sitting here my baby, like things like like little stuff like that. Just make me excited nowadays and i honestly enjoy these things so yeah and i honestly like having a reason to not be outside all the time for everybody having to pop off everybody. I'M sorry, but yes, yes, i do i'd be like i can't have my baby. I can't my mom's on the block. She will watch him. I just don't want to who's joining us for a second, because i think he's just gon na keep whining. Until i pick him up, i honestly think he's kind of spoiled now do y'all see how big my baby is, though he'll be three months very soon, but he's a fat baby and a lot of people keep asking me on instagram like are you still breastfeeding? No i'm not breastfeeding. This is just all of a formula. It'S infamous he's just very greedy. My baby is very greedy, like he is about to be two months like i said, and he drinks four to five ounces like every two hours or so, and if he gets hungry within each hour, i'll give him three ounces other than that the most amount he Drinks is 45 ounces, so yeah very fat off the formula. Okay, so my camera died - and i honestly just want to finish this video before i go in the room and feed my baby, but i get caught up in talking sometimes so i forgot what i was on, but i was honestly talking about my baby's name, so His name is emerald and a lot of people like, like i say i was doing our research like. Why is that his name this and that so that is his birthstone? Yes, he was born, may knife and that's his birth stone and it's honestly another meaning behind it. Because brash, i don't know brash is just like me. Him is like here with each other, you know so it's like. We were thinking of names and we wanted something really different. I honestly never heard someone name their son emerald and i'm, like you think of names, you don't be having all the fire [ __ ], like you, know, you're more creative than me. So think of something - and he just like emerald because he's like into diamonds and clothes, you know things like that, so he's like emerald and i'm like. Oh that's fire. That'S really fire like. I have mad names in my notes, but i'm like. Let me look that up. Let me just see what that is, because i like that, i looked it up and it was his birthstone like i'm like what the heck like this is crazy, so it was his birthstone. That was one thing it was. His legs are so chunky. That was one thing. It was his birthstone and then also i don't know if i ever spoke on this, but before this pregnancy with my baby, i was pregnant by brash before and i had a miscarriage, and i was so sad about that because i really wanted to have my baby At that time and brash wanted it like we both always wanted to baby with each other. Even though we waited a little bit to make sure we was going to be locked in before we actually take it that far, but so yeah i was pregnant before and i had a miscarriage and i lost the baby. I don't even know how i had a miscarriage. I was only like one month going on two and i had a miscarriage. All i know is i had cramping and i was