Gorilla Glue Girl Is Back & Selling Hair Care Products
- Posted on 25 June, 2021
- Hair Care
- By Anonymous
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People always say america sucks, capitalism is bad, but in all honesty, is america not great, really stop and think about it. Yeah america's had a sordid past, but named me a country that didn't but look at america today. Only in america can the most untalented people find fame and fortune in america play some american music behind me. Stu a woman glues, her hair to her skull, and then someone turns around and goes she give beauty tips dude. Imagine a guy who kept falling down the stairs because he didn't know how to tie his shoes being sponsored by nike. Think about it. You know the dude just turns around and goes just do it. I can't even preface this because i'm literally telling you right now gorilla glue girl, the woman famous for gluing, her head with gorilla glue, which you could look and there's no commercial gorilla glue. Ever they even remotely told you you could use this in your hair. They didn't hint at it, they didn't elude at it. You look at the gorilla glue bag box, whatever bottle the bottle says. If you get this on your skin call, the police right now get help, and this woman's like hmm. This could be good for my scalp baby. The gorilla glue has launched her own hair care line, honey child too blessed to be stressed. That'S not it though, but it's a good tagline, the tick tocker chats with allure about her new hair oil and hairspray plus, why? It'S been so difficult to create the perfect edge control. Who would buy this like what normal human being? That'S like buying hair care, skin care from trisha paytas like? Why would you do this? This person isn't even mentally stable and you think they know something about skin. In between being nutty as hell, they stop and have something really astute to say. Well, if you mix coconut oil with a bit of avocado spray, it'll help your pores. You know back in february, teresa talked about how her hair got stuck to her. Damn head in the slick back fade baby braided ponytail after running out of her got to be glued blasting free spray. She grabbed gorilla glue spray instead, hoping that it would give her the lasting hold she desired. Unfortunately, that hole lasted for almost a month before she came to the social media platform to share the experience and warn against ever using super glue as a styling product. Damn that's something a child could have told you honest to god and let's be real here. People are gon na be talking about this to the day she dies when she is in her casket [ __ ] gon na give a sermon, theresa brown posted on tick tock in february 2021, shot and rose to stardom by gluing, her hair to her skull baby And it launched a successful haircare line called fit to be tied all right. This whole article right here from this website is basically recanting. The fact she glued the gluter ahead. I'M not looking for that. Tell me about this hair care product baby and now, four months later, she's refusing to let that unfortunate situation be the only thing she's known for nah, just like dsp is known for jerking off on youtube and being a money hungry poorly mismanaged, [ __ ]. You shall and forevermore be the gorilla glue girl, we're only giving you a haircare line, cause you gorilla glue girl. Nobody was looking for your hair care tips back in 2020. Nobody was interested until 2021, when your scalp was burning from gorilla glue. All right. Let'S go, i'm sorry she's using it as an opportunity to start her own hair care brand called forever hair. I see the pun. It'S officially launched in june 16th with two products growing stimulation oil. You know it's a lie. Have you seen her hair like when she got the gorilla glue out? The ponytail was fake, so how you gon na sell me something on a hair growth stimulation. This ain't real. This is false advertisement. That'S like a chubby dude trying to sell me on weight loss products, it's working for me. I only wear triple xl now and forever hold spray. Thank god. The market needed that at night she massages a few drops of the oil in her scalp and loves the tingling sensation. It provides it's infused with several different oils like that of avocado god, damn i was joking price hilton. You probably don't know who he is, or care he's most famous now for going on like youtube and making tick tock accounts and crying to charlie demiglio begging them to help him, so he could be on tick. Tock again, he's a full grown man them for help. If anybody could help me right now, it is charlie, millio's, family and with all of the humility in the world, i grovel to them and i pray that they find kindness in their heart to please help me, but i guess he's gay, so you get to act Like a woman, at times, i don't know the gay rules spell me in in the comments at one time. A hundred thousand years ago he was like the it girl of gossip yeah. Deaf noodles took his crown and he's never given it back. Let'S see uh. Naturally, the viral star drew from her scary hair incident that made her tick, tock famous in february before pitching a new brand forever here, which she was apparently working on for months. Okay, sure i mean i'd believe that if she was there mixing the oils herself, but even then i would not buy hair clear done by her. If anything, this is some chinese product and she just slapped the name on it and it's drop shipping. I don't know forever here is also selling 14 setting spray for firm flake free hole with lasting shine. Gorilla glue, girl is famous for gluing her head, you know back in 1970-something, eddie van halen literally had to be a guitar virtuoso to reach these heights. Now gorilla glue girl has this and it don't make any sense. I don't even believe a damn thing. This thing says oil promises to increase blood flow to follicles [ __ ]. Four months ago i ran out of hair. I love how the article writes right, like she's, trying to get away from being gorilla, glue, girl and starting her hair care line. What does she do? She puts up an instagram story that shows you gorilla, glue girl. Well, it shows her her. It shows you her back when she glued her head over and head with her eyes all wide open and eyelashes only fit for a damn giraffe, and i'm not saying she looks like those i'm just saying these are the eyelashes they're they're, not human eyelashes, it's like! Oh, i remember you gorilla glue girl. What are you doing girlfriend and ended up using gorilla, glue, spray, bad bad idea and results of that? I ended up losing my hair and having scalp damage, but i love the call back remember when she gorilla glued her head and she's like bad bad idea. Bad bad idea, kind of like jimmy jj walker coming in going dino my gorilla glue. Since then, i've been working for professionals to create and formulate a hair growth oil. I needed this oil to one heal. My scalp i needed to grow. My hair good got ta mighty she's, the tony stark, a hair growth child bless. You sugar, like two months at this point and look at the results. Look at my hair. My scalp feels amazing, like she's, showing off her hair right she's like look at my hair. Look at this growing and i'm looking at her hair and all i can think is like that's. The hair baby have like that's a two month old hair. Look at that she got as much hair as ray-ray. You go girl. I don't believe any of these products are anything more than the usual [ __ ]. You could buy honest to god, like the promotion of a make. Your hair grow is a red flag to me now. The point i was trying to make earlier is: if she came out with her own glue, i might be interested because she knows a thing or two about strong, long, lasting glues, honey. I put this glue on my head and it took six months to get it out. That'S how good my glue is. That would have been the mean move to make. I honestly think this is gon na come out and nobody's gon na care. Accept [, __ ] for me make fun of the fact it even exists, and i'm also surprised to exist once again. This is proof america's great. It is great we're number one. Not only will we keep you alive if you stupid, but we will reward you if you are exponentially dumb. If you do something so dumb that it's actually are inspiring, we will reward you with a career, that's america. I wish i could figure out something dumb. I could do to get that famous and rich, but i can't think of anything i'm not going to bloom glue. My butt cheeks shut, because i got to take a sh and there ain't no way you're going to sit there go. I thought that this was like butt oils or something like how do you come up with something man, shocks, testicles in an effort to make himself taller? I don't know. Oh thank god. She'S gon na do shampoos, she's gon na, do detanglers and even bonnets brown shears, but for now be on the lookout for an edge control. Gel honestly, if you're buying hair care products from someone who got famous on tick-tock for gluing this their hair to their head. At 40-something years old i give up no there's no hope for humanity. My head hurts. I can't make a joke of this. She'S probably got more money than me.
Comments
Panic Attack 🏳️🌈⃠: It's a PERFECT idiot deterrent! If you're over at a girl's house, and she owns any of this merchandise, run, run fast.
Edgar Friendly's Civics Teacher: I don't want to hear about how oppressive America is when you have a nation where a person natural selection should've claimed long ago can sell hair products.
Mr Pinchee: The secret ingredient in hair products is probably gorilla glue.
Frousche: life is truly a simulation, we live in a reality where a woman who is famous for not knowing how glue reacts to hair is able to turn around and sell hair care products. God Bless America
Kidd arachnid: Getting beauty tips from the chick who glued her hair to skull is as foolish as trusting someone with zero cooking experience to prepare fugu fish
Asura 48: Gorilla glue girl giving advice on hair is like a crack head giving advice on business management and saving money
Mathisn't My Best Subject: Me: “Golly gee, I hope nobody gets paid for their stupidity this weekend!” Gorilla Glue Girl: *“I AM BACK! WHAT IT DO, BABY?!”*
Ironsides: WE used to go to the circus to see the freaks. Now the freaks are on little screens in our pockets. How far we've come.
xmixaplix: If anyone deserves a hair product line it's Elon. Dude resurrected his hairline like Jesus refilling wine glass
Alexander Preston: 2021: Kids that ate paste grow up to become famous.
David Nevin: When the onion is more on point than actual reality.
Ricky Keim: who would buy Hair Products from someone who needed to be told not to put Glue in her Hair? that doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
Casey69ism: I cant do it anymore Gundam. I'm not watching this. I can't imagine how you felt making this. God bless.
Pescatore: I so want Gundam to do gorilla glue girls commercials
Everything Is Fine: When being stupid gets you jobs. Modern america in a nutshell.
Shushkin: I'm imagining teenage girls aspiring to be like this chick. It's frightening
I Am Heffy: Only in America I could glue my hair, post online, and become famous. Only in America, I could go on Dr. Phil tell people to catch me outside and I become a millionaire. What is life
C J C: It's like DSP doing your taxes.
Daniel Charles: I wouldn't trust her to take care of her own hair let alone other people's.
Snakedude4life: So how long until Netflix gives her a show? (Please don’t screenshot this if it becomes a real thing, It’s just jokes) no step on snek!
Ronin Okami: the undisputed definition of failing upwards.
Ferchango: Still waiting for someone to use Gorilla Glue as eyedrops.
Efsaaneh: Based on her practice, i will start my own business of teaching people how to not be a disappointment to their parents
Masculine Marsupial: "I aint gonna glue my buttcheeks together." No pain, no gain, Gundam.
onlyonewhyphy: "Tessica" - tell me you're Ghetto, without telling me you're Ghetto
レイ·ライト -Raylight: Lmao I wouldn't trust to buy hair care products from someone who ruined her hair willingly. _I kid you not, they bought the hair care products from Gorilla glue girl. Funniest shit I've ever seen_
Mii Rico: Gorilla Hair Girl: I can assure there's no gorilla glue on this shit! however I figured out that if you put a less stronger glue its actually nice on your hair!
Adrien Harris: Damn it Gundam, she's a strong and brave woman. Think about it, you didn't have the balls to put fucking Gorilla Glue in your hair, did you?! Loooool
mcgrewism: GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
ch33se pants: Just when you think we've reached maximum honk, something like this comes along.
Russ Schinkey: That woman is a teacher,imagine sending your child to learn from her….lmao!
Rustin Nowell: The world ended years ago. This is just a nightmare.
Rick May SV (Soldier Voice): Though I am an advocate for good old fashioned Capitalism, I sometimes wonder why stupidity is often rewarded in today's age. Though at times I get angry and frustrated at things like this, I remind myself that she's now an entertainer and this is her life now. From Stuck in Glue to Shilling Shampoo, I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one now scalping the stupid.
Heartbreak One: Now THAT'S failing upward! It's like Jared from Subway getting a deal from Pampers. Sigh!
David Cheney: I’ve been steadily growing more and more interested in Eugenics in recent years because of things like this.
Mike: This is like the time they gave Susan a free expression award
Kyle Adams: Imagine a guy that has 20 kids being sponsored by Trojan.
Who Me: This video is gonna boost her sales. God Bless America, advertising everywhere.
MrlspPrt: I bet the Gorilla Glue thing was a viral campaign focused to TikTokers.
KingCosworth: "I don't know the gay rules, fill me in" So it's a baptism by fire you want is it Gundam?
Jarrod: If that Nike guy who couldn't tie his shoes was selling slip ons, I might have a new set of slip ons. At least she knows how to steer into the skid.
K Dog: Makes you want to go back in time and revel in the days where natural selection made s*&t like this a total non issue.
Bridget GX: A good redemption arc for her would be if experts were teaching her how to actually do stuff with hair and she becomes a legendary hairdresser
Ernest Lemmingway: Does Gorilla Glue Girl remind anyone else of the scene from one of the _Police Academy_ movies where Mahoney puts epoxy into Lesard's shampoo?
Aces High 4: Gundam, get your a$$ on Friday night tights. You were fing hilarious !
Skiboot Dier: "Catch me outside."It makes me sick how if you have a snatch, you can be stupid, or a complete asshole and get rich.
SovereignSmurf: There were people defending her and saying it could happen to anyone and it's like, no, sometimes you just have to admit that a person is stupid.
Mediocretes: "Never trust a bald barber for he has no respect for the hair" This is that but worse.
Muka Muka: Imagine buying hair prodcuts from the person who thought gorilla glue is a replacement for hair spray LMFAO
Mii Rico: That Metal Slug nostalgia though UNF!
Wild Man: Here is my thoughts, she glued her hair to her head because she was out of her normal product, so why would you ever take advice or use any products she came up with. on the other side of the coin its a come up and i gotta give her props. and curse humanity yet again...
JOK3R PROJECT: Some days I feel as if Gundam is the only one who understands how I feel... Thank you bro!
BlackZero: Normally I would say “how could this happen!?” But I remember this timeline is beyond screwed
TooLameToDie: When I was in high school back in the late 80's the trend was for guys to use tons of hair gel to slick back their hair. A kid in my homeroom was kind of poor and used a bunch of vaseline in his hair to style it. He wound up having to shave his head because it wouldn't come out no matter what he did. We called him "Grease Ball" for the next 3 years...people don't forget lol
Warcraft and Coffee: Please keep being you Gundam. You're literally make me laugh out loud.. it's much needed.
Kayy Johnathan: Well, at least she's doing something productive and something of value other than being a nuisance. Good for her.
LConfig: During the month that shit was in her hair, I'm sure she Googled any, and every, thing about hair. She's an expert by now; I trust her.
D: *joe biden falls downs stairs* Joe: *gives thumbs up* "just do it"
sjmc1983: Just bought the hair product! I tried it on my pubes....i must say it is very refreshing, leaves a nice shine. I have not had this many homeless guys chase me like this in ages! 5*
Sebastian Torre: Reality is way stranger than fiction.
Kay Ach: Damn... she couldn't have made that more "I'm reading from a script" the only natural parts was when she was quoting her own stupid in this pitch I'm 4th generation hairdresser/barber - this shit hurt my soul she don't know nothing!
digifalc0087: I needed some laughs! The day is goin' good so far, but some extra hilarity and satire always is appreciated
GO-GO SO-SO: Since she used Gorilla Glue on her hair, I would not trust her knowledge on hair care products. This is sadder than the Proud Boys leader selling BLM shirts due to his group being broke. lol
PeacefulJoint: I drained so many quarters back in the day trying to beat metal slug 1+2 at a pizza shop lol
Old Outlet: Ah yes. Because I completely trust the hair products of a girl that thought putting super glue in her hair without reading any warning labels was a good idea.
Pyke: Life could be a dream
Jose X: If her hair grew back from the product shit it must be good as hell
Ranticore: Gorilla Glue girl is the greatest prime example of the good that taking off all warning labels of dangerous products can do. We'd be looking forward to a fantastically brighter world.
Rob D: With brains like that how could that business possibly fail
eth0wesome: Whoever takes hair care advice from a woman that thought putting glue on your hair is a good idea really deserves for it to be a scam.
chain872005: Man, turning into a mummy annoyed me when I played Metal Slug. I love those games.
apdarkness905: Wow... stupidity is rewarded in this day and age. I remember the good old days when we would berate and denounce stupid people for being stupid.
Kosalishkwaran Ganesan: "That's like buying haircare and skincare from Trisha Paytas". I almost choked when I heard this. Savage AF!
Double Bob: What a con artist. I wouldn't be surprised if she planned it all along to get her 5 seconds of fame to kickstart her "e celebrity career"
Mori: Anybody who takes hair advice from her deserves whatever comes to em
Lionel Roka: What I'm in awww is how you still don't have a million subs with that sense of humor, it's so edgy that it could probably cut diamonds like a hot knife thru butter. It sure as hell cut thru the stress of my work week and made me laugh my ass off
Manu7128: she put gorilla glue on her hair, messed it up more than a crackhead messes up their body. now shes selling hair care products. aint that ironic
Terra Exodus: "Too blessed to be stressed!" is actually a good brand line. Better not patent that shit................
Deadest of Hats: Definitely someone you want to take hair care advice from.
Nefvyn Is Nobody: "Man shocks nuts in attempt to grow taller" *Dies laughing uncontrollably*
Diego Brando: I'd like to go on the record and say I really hope she's a genius and pretended that Gorilla Glue was in her hair so then she could gain the clout to launch her hair care line. Dats p smart.....but we know life isn't that reasonable.
Lisa Mcevoy: Yep I would definitely trust this woman to sell me hair products.
ImABot: I gotta give her credit for her hustle honestly
S Young: This doesn't surprise me in the least. We've all seen this type of scenario play out several times over. I imagine it will get promoted farther in those monthly beauty box subscriptions or something like that. They love to sell sample packs with discounts on future purchases of anything included in the box/package. I already know how the making is going to work for this.
Xuhybrid: Imagine wearing a wig to sell hair products. You know for a fact she had to shave her head and there's no way in hell that much grew back already.
Dreddy G.: Just a reminder: When you make a foolproof product, all you're doing is making better fools.
Demi Havok: She glued her hair, and we are supposed to think she is qualified to tell anyone what to put in their hair? Well fook me lubless with a 5$ footlong, my brain hurts.
Druid Athanaric: This is why we need IQ cards & not ID cards. Let's base things more off of intellect than age. Had the store clerk seen she had the IQ of a rabbit they wouldn't have sold the glue to her. Problem averted.
devilgrass: shes an inspiration to all of us. you can be successful no matter how dumb you are
imnotcreative 22: "It don't MOVE!" - Tessica Brown aka Gorilla Glue Girl
Jillian Crawford: If her catchphrase back as Gorilla Glue Girl was "bad bad bad idea", herslogan for her products should be "good good good idea". Missed opportunity.
Some kind of mole person: This is just that one episode of King of the Hill, but in reverse. The one where Peggy gets a newspaper column she's not cut out for and accidentally tells people to mix chemicals that create mustard gas. Except in this universe, Peggy would have started by telling people to make mustard gas and the paper decides to give her the column for it.
Alva the Wayfarer: Yeah I actually respect her for this. She even said she was a big dummy for the gorilla glue thing. Good work!!!
timephire: This is truly the darkest of timelines we are living in...
Young Archaeotech: **inhale** **cough** You can call me gorilla glue boy, but it ain’t because I permanently adhered my toupee to my noggin.
Salvatore Farmerson : The world is burning...
Hal: You do have to admit the Gorilla glue hold was good, those edges were slayed!
Darthmufin: I saw this coming from a mile away, girls like that are very predictable.
Zorxeng!: "The world is burning, lets memesturbate" she took it too serious
Jeep NJ: Its kind of the ultimate infomercial. Follows the formula: Incredible ineptitude, then endorsement of the miraculous solution.