Vlogmas Cook & Chat // Black Men Vs Black Women, Hair Content Creators Out, Tour Of Holiday My Decor

Oh it's christmas time. I feel sad. I can't help it. I got you on my mind. I don't know how to cope this because it's christmas time and i need you around so come on hate. Our good people welcome. So one of my members asked if i was gon na, do a cooking chat again this vlogmas and i was like i don't know - i did it last year because i lived with my brother-in-law. So if you guys missed that i'll link it uh, i will be doing one video with someone else, but not this one. I decided that you know what i usually do. A makeup chat in chat i'll, do a deep conditioner in the chat and this one we're gon na make cookies in chat. I'M going to share with you my holiday, buffet decor, um i'll, show you also a few other things around the apartment. We'Re just going to talk about a few topics that have been on my mind to kind of wrap up the year. I'M in the midst of you know, goal setting and things, and so reflecting on the year is kind of on my mind, and there are a few things that i want to talk to you guys with, but first let's start with the cookie. So this is a family recipe adapted from it's a fanny farmer cookbook, but they don't really sell it anymore. Growing up my grandmother's cookbook. She left that to my dad when she passed so my dad um growing up, we would make all kinds of baked goods from that cookbook and other things too um, but this cookie recipe has been passed down and it's modified from that cookbook. It'S actually not easy to find anymore, which is really interesting, but my dad wrote it down a long time ago. We had that cookbook for so long. We never preserved it um. We used it all the time and so it's no longer around, but the recipe is my dad emailed us the recipe years ago, and i printed it out and put it in this recipe binder of mine, and so i'm gon na leave the recipe below it's not Like a family secret, it's just a family recipe. Um, i will tell you there are some tweaks you can do so. First of all, you must use butter. If you use this recipe, it carries the flavor of the spices better than margarine. That is another option, but butter carries the spices better, also use real sugar, real sugar cuts, kind of the raw flavor of clove, and so you really want to use real sugar in this recipe and then the spices. This is where things get a little crafty. So the recipe the original recipe calls for one teaspoon of ginger, one teaspoon of cinnamon and one teaspoon of ground cloves all of these ground. You can do some things here, so i use a tablespoon of ginger, which is three teaspoons. I use a tablespoon. My dad uses a tablespoon plus a little bit of fresh ginger. It has a zing, it's beautiful tastes delicious, but this is what i'm doing today. My sister uses a couple teaspoons of cinnamon, a tablespoon of ginger. We all still use that teaspoon of cloves cloves is very, very potent, but you know make it the correct way, the first time and then tweak it as you will and that's kind of what makes it the family recipe. That'S what makes it different from person to person and my family loves it. My dad actually made them for thanksgiving um and gave them out. I tried to hide them, but he found them. I didn't show them. I hate them because i love it. It is like it just it's so good, all right so um you can, like, i said, see the recipe below it's really easy. I don't even need the recipe, but because i'm talking to you guys, i figure, i should use the recipe and then the last thing. I'Ll say before i make cookies, i'm gon na have a second camera on the cookie making, but we'll chat y'all. My sister has my sister, and so i'm gon na have to like stir this forever with a fork, and you really want to like get the flour and spices mixed well. So every cookie has good flavor, consistent flavor. If you don't mix it well, it's not gon na turn out. Well, especially if you don't put the baking soda in and mix it around, the cookies aren't going to be the same consistency right. The baking soda is the chemistry of things and with baking. You want to get the measurements right, don't mess around spices, you could change up the measurements of nothing else. I'M going to set up my camera, get the dry ingredients together and then we'll chat, because the first topic is one i really want to discuss with you all all right. So this topic is a big topic, which is why we're going to give it the most time - and that is the topic of black men in relation to black women on youtube. And hopefully i don't get flamed for this. I probably will i got the wrong type of workout. Okay, it is what it is um, but i feel like this year with the advent of the rising popularity of kevin samuels. Um y'all show me the roommates. I it led my algorithm down a rabbit hole that i really wish it had never gone down, and i learned about the manosphere, which is something that has been on youtube for a long time and i didn't know, existed because it's not for me right. It'S like it's, it's not a part of the internet. That was meant for me and um. So i you know, i don't click on videos about how to become a man for what i also don't. Click on femininity videos. So there's that, but i just did not know that that existed right, that part of the internet and i kevin samuels. I don't know if people in the manuscript call him in his work a part of the manosphere. I mean he's kind of fallen out of favor with a lot of people, but um. I think why that was so bad and while it's why it's still bad is because you have a whole group of men reacting to black women right and just like the crowd that follows: um, kevin samuels and in the menosphere that have really never gone on a Date in their life, which are not like this is not a judgment like this is just kind of what it is um who have never gone on a date in their life who really do struggle socially. They found a space on the internet right, and this is both ways right. This is also black women. There are spaces on this internet where you know it it's a little toxic right. If you are young and inexperienced, it can be very, very toxic right and that's part of my grit with the whole femininity divestment like if you're old enough to have seen things and understand things. Then you can receive that stuff in a particular way. If you're not you're, you're receiving that stuff from a very biased lens - and you get the extremes because they're extremes in every part of youtube, they're extremes in the natural hair community right and so then you have the extremes taking over youtube right. I feel like the whole kevin samuel is the extreme and that for a moment there was all anyone was talking about, and there was a whole lot of people talking about their dislike for black women right and that's why i appreciate channels like for harriet and julesie And now um, khadija and bo and people like that because they introduce these topics in an interesting way. But the funny thing is, if you were following kim and julie for years. They'Ve talked about this stuff right. If you read feminist literature, black feminist literature is different than white feminism. You have been introduced to these topics and, like we've had lives where i tell you about the conversations i've had with my brother around these guys, this camera samuel stuff and, like you know he is brutally honest with me about how you know. Black women have outpaced black men, and some black men are able to cope with that right. We are, we are finding new ways to do this thing called relationships right. There are many black couples. Um, you know youtube would tell you different. There are many black couples who um make this whole relationship thing work in their own way. I know many, a healthy black married relationship um. I am fortunate to see that on a regular basis in my life and the way people talk about relationships and like getting a high value man, you know i just i'm always like y'all have no freaking clue. You want no clue, you know you have people who don't run in those circles right who don't have married friends telling people how to be better, and it's obvious if you are exposed right to the kind of people they're trying to tell you, you know how to Get if you're exposed to those people, you understand that this is awful right, but i feel, like 2021, was definitely an assault on black women in a new way, there's always an assault on black women right, but i really do feel like it's been an assault in A new way - and i don't know where we go from here, because you know i honestly think we all just need to get off the internet. I feel like that would be the best thing just get off the internet and go talk to people and figure it out the old-fashioned way um and i'm not even an old-fashioned person. I just mean: go talk to people, because, if you're taking advice from someone on the internet who doesn't know you or anyone else right who has no clue about, you know the reality of the world in your area or is not married right is divorced. They can't possibly tell you how to have a successful relationship. They haven't done it themselves right, i'm much quicker to take advice from people who have successful relationships. Even if it's been you know they're on their third marriage, but this is the one that stuck. I bet you there's a lot, they could tell you right. I think that's all my dry ingredients, it is i'm gon na be stirring this forever um. But you know that's from the manosphere male standpoint. I think black women have been under stage from black women too um. I think we're doing ourselves harm on the internet these days. You know the world always tells us we're not beautiful in you know, really subtle ways and in really uh not subtle ways, and we also do our best to just live in this world, and sometimes that means a bvl. Even though you know our butt is what people are trying to get with the bbl right for us who has them, instead of just you know, being like okay, i ain't got a bbl. That'S one thing i like about tick tock, you get to see gen z. Appreciating their body like people and people with like no, but i don't know this or know that everyone they're like what is this called you know, what's this kind of book called her, you know just being like this. What i got you know um. I do feel for gin z, because they're growing up in a social media age where it is just common practice to use filters, and so you probably begin to hate how you look uh, but julzy has videos on that. But you know, there's just been so much since the pendant pandemic um around the leading women right in popular industries and as a result, there's been so much more commentary and also, i think, because we work we've all been on inside there's. So much more commentary online. Around what is beautiful, what is ugly, whether people have pretty privilege. You know all these conversations that have been happening like every week this year surrounding how black women look in the world, how they should act in the world whether they should buy. You know luxurious things and, if we're problematic, if we do any of the things above right, none of this has to do with our liberation. You know none of this is helping us as black women in the slightest right um, but i mean the system is designed that way. If you, if you read it, you know, there's also been this attack on black woman um feminism and, at the same time, people are just like regurgitating and espousing black feminist literature and repackaging it in a different way and they're allowed to do that. Because people don't read - and people successfully very successfully demonize the work that black women have done over the years to elevate us right and to try to pass that knowledge on to other black women, but, like i said we can be our own worst enemy matter. Of fact, if you haven't seen julie's video i'll link it below, because that was a really good video um she's done a few good videos, i'm pretty privileged on you know us being our own worst enemy, bbls, etc. I would encourage you to watch for harry's video on black women in luxury because, like that's something i've been grappling with myself like, i don't even consider myself part of that movement. You know i have a very targeted strategy um, but at the same time you could say i am like i consider myself a rich auntie, not for the reasons um that people think and i'll go more into that in my next ritual mt episode. But you know i encourage us in 2021 to think more about how we're going to protect ourselves um, because there's going to be a larger assault on women's rights in 2021, if you've seen the supreme court a much larger assault on women's rights here in the us, It'S already, you know it's always the case, but when there's an attack on women's rights, black women suffer most, you know black girls suffer most, and so i encourage you to find communion to find community with black women offline right. I think that's the best thing we can do and i'll continue to share what i share, because you guys tell me that it's helpful that it's useful, um and i'll i'll. I have videos coming up about. You know some of the things i've done this year. Some of the choices i've made that have helped me find a tribe here in atlanta, which is really really amazing. I don't know how many cookies this is going to make, because i have cookie molds so we'll see, but you know that brings me to the natural hair community in 2020 to 2021, i would say: um i'd see, things have taken a term a turning point here. I would say that um for creators, i think across the board. We would tell you that people aren't watching youtube as much anymore um for beauty, content and that's been happening for many years now, but that's also why you see less and less beauty, content, creators right and more lifestyle right. I honestly think that's what people want to see more of in this day and age. So that's why that's happening um. I think a lot of i saw enough influencer videos in the beauty realm where people were kind of upset at their subscribers um and that's like i literally saw at least one a month um for people not watching, but you know i do think it's healthy. If we move away from hyper focus on buying every beauty product in the world and away from rigid hair care practices like we really can't evolve past that we did that right. We spent time in our various camps, and you know we came out realizing. It wasn't necessary um. There is more than one way to have healthy, hair right and consistency, really matters more than people realize and really focusing on moisture, which comes from water and water-based products. More than anything else doesn't mean that you don't use oils, it doesn't mean you don't use butters, that's totally up to you totally how you want to care for your hair. But i think what disturbed me in this past year and a half is people moving backwards into relaxing and again i would say once again do what you need to for your life, but i don't like lie and say that doesn't disappoint me. It does disappoint me. I think the movement used to be about having pride and appearance and taking pride in our hair right, regardless of whatever struggle you may have with it really showing that we value ourselves, and you know that looks different now right. I think i don't think it looks. It'S wrong to not wear your natural hair. I just think that idea looks different now and um. It'S going to be interesting to see where we go as there are less natural hair content creators um, i know with influencers. It just pays more for them to do. Wig reviews, because people wear the wigs right these wig companies will pay a lot of money, whereas the product companies don't be paying a lot of money and they don't pay a lot of people. I am grateful for the deals i receive this year. I'M grateful for the companies that reach out to me. It'S not enough loving my content right. I don't have a hundred thousand subscribers. I love that um. I'D love that just for my time here on youtube. Ta will say that i was here. I made an impact right. I was a part of this community. I don't know if that will happen. You know i i don't seem to have that type of content. You know where a bunch of people want to watch it and that's okay, because i think in 2020 and 21 this tribe got bigger, but it got stronger. I mean we have various ages, we have various countries represented, we have various curl types, various ethnicities, just so many things represented in this community and we chat like we talk about so many things. I mean we talked about the black church and it ended with laughter. The conversation ended with laughter um shouts out to y'all. If you know what i'm talking about, leave the appropriate symbol in the comments, if you don't know what i'm talking about you ain't a member or a patron, if you want to see the replay, that's where you got ta go um, but we have talked about so Many things and we don't agree on everything: that's not what a community does right. It just has a conversation and that's healthy. That'S what i wanted to create in this space and i think we are doing that. I'Ve been scared to grow because i don't want to see that disappear, but i'm i'm less worried about that. At this point, i think i think we have a particular vibe on this channel and i love that. I love that uh in 2022. My goal would be 50 000 subscribers do. I expect that to happen not in this? No, no but um. That would be amazing. That would be absolutely amazing in every way, shape or form third cup of molasses. This is the only time i use molasses. Isn'T that funny, so you just saw me cream the butter and sugar together. The butter wasn't as um smooth as it typically is. When i do this, but that's okay, it'll it'll work itself out. It'S still smooth enough, but that's something. I'Ve always done cream. The butter with the sugar that way it's all like getting in there even and then i mix like i whip the egg in i'm opening this terribly. Hopefully i don't get any in the molasses, but this is why i do that so that i can find any shells easy if there are any so i'll mix the eggs in the egg and with the molasses and then i'm going to continue to stir. Because before i mix um the wet with the dry ingredients, so baby come home tonight christmas time, let us all come together, let your love, keep shining and for always being remembered cause. It'S christmas time all right. I have my cookie dough here and i'm going to put it in the refrigerator. That'S why i put it in plastic, wrap i'm going to put it into the refrigerator and let it set for hours. But we're gon na take a tour of my buffet here and we're gon na look at my holiday decor, okay. So this is a wide angle shot of my holiday decor on my buffet here i freaking love it we're going to go through everything one by one. What you have here is my buffet and then the decor that is typically on here and then i added some stuff for the holiday season. So let's start on this end, so you can kind of see it in the background. But here is the garland. I show you showed you guys a couple of videos ago i bought from cv2. It is gorgeous i could put a second strand, but i'm just leaving it. It'S not that deep to me um, maybe next year, and then these hurricanes are my regular decor. These are just here and um. I don't always turn them on, so i just turned on the little fake candles because it goes and then these two houses are from target they're five dollars every year. They just have ones with black roots, roofs this year, roofs. I don't know roofs this year and i really really liked them. So i put a few on the end because it contrasts well to the other end of the buffet. As you will see, and then right behind here we have some little trees. I got from target, but i have just two little pre-lit trees right here on each one, on a set on each side of this advent house. Basically and the trees came from target, and so this little house i don't use it for its intended purpose. There is nothing in these little boxes. I just love how this advent calendar look, it was so beautiful. My sister saw it and then it immediately sold out like i saw it on her stories and then it returned, and i definitely picked it up that second time around. Actually i think my sister did yeah. My sister got it for me. I just reimbursed her and it just is the perfect middle piece and compliment to the whole buffet this we're going to get your christmas colors and then the rest of it is more kind of ma, modern classic right, and so i just framed it with a set Of lit trees and then all the rest of this is the actual house itself. Then next to that, and then next to that, you guys know my three decanters. This is my regular buffet decor, that's always there, but i showed you all in my last. In the same vlog, i showed you that garland i purchased these three little trees from room and board. They just i saw them, and i knew i wanted them. I didn't know what i would do with them. Whatever put them, this turned out to be perfect, and this is just another five dollar house from target it just has a sparkly roof top it just kind of like bridges. The gap between these and this last piece - and this is a set of shoes - got that from target as well. I just couldn't pass it up and it's like the perfect contrast to the little houses on the other end, so you can see like it. Just really came together beautifully for me. I love it. I love it. Those trees are timed so at night those will go off. They only are on for like six hours out of the day and then those i have to light every evening. The big candles i have to like press the button every evening, but that doesn't really bother me at all - it's just perfect and it's great because these don't need to light up all the time. Um and all of this is battery powered. So i am not plugging anything in and driving up my bill, which is nice, and i can see this immediately when i come into the apartment and it's just so festive, i love it, and so i only have two other things you saw them in the beginning, But i'll show you closer, these are also from target. I got this snow globe, it's only five bucks um, it has music, it plays a sound um, but i really really thought it was cute. I wanted some snowmen in a snow globe. It'S five bucks. Why not? And then i saw this black nutcracker that had a countdown to christmas and i was like yes ma'am. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. This is mine. Now and it's great. I love it. It'S a true nutcracker, so you could put you know a nut in there and you could try to crack it. I won't be doing that um. I used to do that when i was a kid at my grandma's house, though, unless all of my holiday decors, so i'm going to put these back and i'll, be back in several hours to cut cookies and talk about our last topic. So i'm being super real with you all, i ate all the cookies. It'S been days, i ate all the cookies. I love them. They tasted really good um. I in between i washed my hair and everything, and then i was tired and they want to get back on camera, so this is a different day, but i'll just end it here. My last topic was the fact that black women in this past year and in 2020, have stopped showing a struggle have stopped expressing the struggle as much and instead of showing prosperity right. That'S black women and luxury we're showing empowered women. We are emphasizing the parts of our life that are good and that, i think, is where this reaction comes from. Black women are reshaping our image in everything on social media and everything, um we're finding our way in that it's a bit of cosplay happening. You know uh, while also just us deciding that the internet is not a safe space for our struggle right. I think there are spaces where you can be with black women and talk about our struggle hear the struggle, but i think black women are more interested. These days in sharing the solutions in sharing our prosperity, it's a bit of cosplay happening. You know, uh wow, also just us deciding that the internet is not a safe space for our struggle right. I think there are spaces where you can be with black women and talk about our struggle, hear the struggle, but i think black women are more interested these days in sharing the solutions in sharing our prosperity and though black feminists still continue to fight for our rights. Right, i think we have, as a community, decided that the internet does not deserve all of us and i think that's a beautiful thing. I hope we keep that energy in 2022. We grow that in 2022 and we don't forget that we do need safe spaces to have conversations about our real struggles, which probably are not online or you know, are in spaces that we don't invite others right. Like my live chat, i talk about my struggles. I'Ve had real health struggles this year and i share about them in my life live chat, so i that was the last thing um i like i said i ate all the cookies. This is not a good angle or not a good lighting, so i'm gon na get out of here. But in the comments, let me know your thoughts about anything i talked about in this video and i hope you guys enjoyed this cooking chat. The full recipe is in the description box below, and i hope you like my holiday decor as well and in some way shape or form. If you enjoyed this video, make sure you like and subscribe before you go. So i know to do more of these and get better at them, and so you can see me in the next video for under me, christmas tree,