I Cut My Own Bangs!

Degrees, hi everyone, I'm the worst. I have a meeting in two minutes, but I have to show you this. Before I go reading, I bought Macy's some new hair clips and hair ties and stuff because I always put her hair in the two like insane little pigtails to go and go straight up or the one that goes straight up and her hair has no curl to It and it just sticks straight up, so I wanted to change out. I want to do other hairstyles for her, so thin and so short, I don't have any options. I'Ve seen comments of just a couple. Nothing crazy like there was one day where, like I didn't, put Macy's hair up like it was down, and I saw him I was like thank God. You know me he's hearing those stupid pigtails. I was like, first of all, she's a baby you're, weird that you would comment on a baby's hair - that's freaking, weird, really like anyway um, but, second of all, it's very exciting. To me to be able to do my kids, hair Flynn. Never really wanted me to. He doesn't like me touching his hair Wesley rips it out. If I put his hair up and Maisie lets me and likes it like, she like lets me do it and, if she's over it like, if I'm doing her hair and I'm doing it for too long she's like I'm done but like she's totally into it, and It'S so fun and so cute for me, and that is something I have dreamed of, and I know it's superficial and stupid and dumb but like since I was a little girl. I'Ve always wanted to be a mom, and that was the one thing I really looked forward. Two, probably above the most when I was a little girl, was the idea of doing my daughter's hair made me so excited like so excited, and when I had barbies and dolls as a little girl, I did not play with them. Like oh hi. What'S your name? Oh, my name is this: I did their hair, that's what I did. I had an American Girl doll. I had Samantha, I liked it because she had brown, hair and brown eyes like me, but also because she had long hair. I could French braid, that's how I learned a French braid. That'S how I learned to do different hairstyles was on my American Girl dolls on my porcelain dolls. Yes, I had a porcelain doll collection and, on my Barbies I loved doing hair and I couldn't wait to do it anyway. Oh my God, my reading is starting out with me. I wanted to show you this. I had to go. I bought these clips. I found our you serious. Are you serious so this one there's two of these one is in maisie's hair like pulled to the side today, so she has like a little side part with like a little clip in this and it's falling out because she doesn't have enough hair to hold it. Look at these little little oranges - oh my God, a little cupcake cupcake a little pops. I know my to my meeting, but this is so much more important than any meeting I could ever have in my whole life. This one has like glitter in it. Oh, my God, it's a rainbow. I think I showed you the rainbow. These are so freaking cute, I'm losing my mind. A little purple Cloud, lavender Haze, a lavender Haze, clip get out of town. I am so excited about these stupid hair looks guys things like this. It'S like my childhood dreams coming true, okay, I got ta go to my meeting. Bye today is the day I'm gon na come up. Bangs today is the day that I'm gon na cover my bags very excited guys. First, I need to upload my Vlog. Some work done. I had a meeting that went well, then we celebrated our Nanny. We opened presents Flynn made her a scavenger hunt and I'm making her cookies right now. The sugar cookie mix is like chilling, I'm going to do some work and I'm very excited to cut these bangs later against everyone's wishes. Well, you guys dermatillomania strikes again. If you don't like hearing me talk about my dermatillomania skip forward a little bit. Two things today are bothering me we all know at this point. I have a disorder called dermatomania, skin picking disorder and it's real intense, I feel, like most people, probably hear skin picking disordering. Like you pick your skin, who cares it's not a disorder, it really is disorder. You can go, look it up, it's not fun and I have it - and I mentioned recently in a vlog that it's gotten really bad lately. Well, one of the ways that it's gotten pretty bad is that I have started to go to other places to rip off my own skin. One of those places is like my face, and this is a very common place for a lot of people with dermatillomania. A lot of people with it pick at their face or pick at their arms, but I've never really done my face. I'Ve always been lucky enough to have like pretty good skin like I get acne every once in a while, but like never too bad. If you have this disorder, if you get excuse, you moose, if you get a zit, if you get a scratch that becomes some sort of a scab or scarring type of moment. If you have a mosquito bite, any sort of bug bite watch out dry skin any one of those things like it's not fun. For someone with this disorder, because it's an imperfection on your skin that you feel obsessed with getting rid of to the point where, like for hours you'll, just basically rub off your skin anyway, I've started doing it to my face. You can't really tell hopefully too much, but I have made problems out of nothing and I'm like ruining my face. I have a filter on my camera. I'Ve always been transparent about that. I have a filter that kind of like Smooths out your skin, so that kind of helps a little bit and I also wear a lot of makeup. But I need to reapply again because it's like it's looking kind of gross - it's not too bad yet, but I can tell it's heading that direction. If I don't stop myself from choosing my face, is the new place that I'm gon na attack? I'M gon na really regret it, because when you have dermatillomania the places that you go for and focus on, you end up with huge scars. I don't want my whole face to be covered in scars, so I really don't want this to be an issue. The other thing is the Kids Choice. Awards are next weekend and I'm going I'm very excited and I have a couple different dresses that I want to maybe wear, but I have one in particular that I like pretty much. I think I've decided on that. I kind of like it's cute enough and it's fine like whatever, but I need shoes for it, but I know the type of shoes that I need the shoes that would match this dress perfectly are like strappy, cute diamond kind of like shoes, but like straps, like Strappy like strappy moments - and I know that's what shoe would look best with this dress and I can't wear that type of shoe. I can't wear a shoe that shows any part of my foot yeah. I cannot. It would terrify people on the red carpet. I'M angry because I found so many cute pair of shoes that I know would match this dress perfectly that I want to wear and I can't buy them unless I wore like a sock, I can't wear them and I'm so annoyed and frustrated myself and discuss it And like angry with myself, that this annoying stupid disorder is part of my life because it ruins like just dumb little mundane things like that, like yeah, it definitely hinders the way that I walk. It hurts my self-confidence. It hurts my mental health. It hurts my sleep. It hurts my mood, it hurts so many things in my life, but also just like little stupid things like that, like it ruins. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal. It'S just like annoying and probably for the rest of my life. I'Ll never be able to wear like strappy shoes like that's, probably just not going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, and that's very annoying just wanted to rant about that for a second now on to the regular content of my Life: okay, I just signed a really exciting contract, mostly celebrate with me anyway, um, I'm looking for a dress that I want to sew from my show bags. Okay, it's my show bags. Look at all my fun shoes. I have so many fun shoes guys. I love a sparkly shoe, oh by the way. Yesterday I did a fit check and no one asked for it, but I'm gon na see how many times I can remember to do it because I actually do love like I said watching. Other people's fit checks and my FIT checks are always so lame and not exciting. But oh, the reason I wanted to do this is because my most recent shows at the meet and greet so many people are coming up and meeting me and I'm like. Oh my God. I have this this girl's like yeah. I got them because you always wear them and I was like. Oh another girl came up in a different pair of pants that I always wear. Um, like the Free People, flares that I wear a lot or like the Zara, hot, pink, like kind of Sailor pant. Whatever that I used to wear all the time that broke - and I was so sad so many different girls like showed up in outfits - and I was like - oh my God - I love your outfit they're like yeah, I was trying to dress like how you dress, and I was like first of all, that's crazy to me, but, like my shows, used to be like a bunch of people come up dressed like Miranda and people still do. I never made the connection that maybe people were trying to like dress and learn to me, because I have no sense of style or fashion at all. I don't ever know what I'm doing doesn't mean, I'm very like comically bad at. But what I'm trying to make is that I don't know anything about clothes or fashion, but I'm flattered that people are coming to my shows, trying to dress like me anyway. Today, I'm wearing my own merch, that's coming out very soon. Actually, I think it's gon na be a Monday. This is the theater kid green hoodie. I like mine, really big. This is probably an extra large or a large, and what shirt am I wearing I'm wearing? Oh Vancouver. I got this in Vancouver. I love Vancouver. Is my favorite city and I'm wearing again Lulu leggings lemon leggings? I think I have three pair of Lululemon leggings and they're my favorites and just some frilly little socks and that's kind of my go-to outfit on a day where I know I'm not going anywhere doing anything to just like cozy, I'm cozy, cozy, mousse, okay, moose out Of the way what's happening, I was gon na film some videos - I just did my hair and I was about to do my makeup because I wanted to film a couple videos. But while I was doing my hair, I had my Tick Tock kind of scrolling and I saw this Tick Tock that made me weep, and now all I want to do is hang out my kids. I don't want to work ever again. The rest of my life um, I oftentimes, get like tick tocks that are like hey Savor the moment. Um you're gon na miss these days when you're older. These are the moments that you're gon na wish. You really reveled in you know with your little ones. I know it's hard and you're tired, but really enjoys moments because they're fleeting and that's what all of you said when I asked you your best parenting advice, and so I've really been like taking that to heart and spending as much time as possible with my kids. So I was gon na take an hour to film, but instead I'm just gon na go hang on my kids video. I want to show you a little bit of it because, oh my God, you know when the kids are little and they tell you. Oh you're gon na hit a business way. Am I going to miss this dirty diapers he's throwing up in the middle of the night Tantrums messes with every meal. My daughter turned 35. Today I just had a ball, not a ball. I said woohoo like a ball, because I was sitting here thinking about when she was little and that was the evil Christmas mornings. And then I was thinking about birthday, celebrations and vacations for just the end of the room and witnessed their faces. They hear their voices again solved little faces and have them snuggle into my neck. I put up with some dirty diapers, which I'm grateful for, because it's a good reminder. It'S like in those days that are hard last night was a hard one. I was up a lot with the kids, it's really windy here and the wind was keeping the babies awake. They don't feel too good they're kind of a little colds, so they were up a lot last night at like five in the morning I was like I hadn't fallen asleep yet, and I was like, oh my God, I'm so tired and I know they're gon na Be up in an hour and like how am I going to get through the day I was like so frustrated, so it's good to have reminders like that, like I'm gon na miss that so I'm literally gon na miss them. Waking me up someday, but just little. The details she said, like them, snuggling up in your neck Wes, does that to me all the time like he just gets caught up in my neck, and I'm like? Oh, my God, he's not gon na do that someday so anyway, I'm not gon na work. I'M gon na get with my kids and I'll work when they go to sleep. We'Re making cookies. Nice looks great. Are you gon na lick it? How is it is it good? I want to frost the other ones. Okay, how is it um? It'S good. It looks amazing: okay, we've decided to go pick. Some avocados we have an avocado tree. Does Lucy want to come yeah Flynn. Have you ever picked avocados before I think I have okay, you're gon na have to teach me how to do it here. It goes yeah there you go. I am shocked at how cold it is. I'M freezing it's so cold outside. Oh, my God, look at that. I don't think you've ever seen, one in real life before wow. Oh, my gosh! What is this your first time, seeing a whole rainbow? No right here, you get the whole thing. Look at this wow win your first rainbow in real life. Did you like it huh? Is it so special yeah? I loved it kind of like Sky Magic yeah. I literally had to go in and get like the jacket I wear. When I go to snow, that's how old I am he's going for it get it. Ah, you got this. Yes, you got it. Let me see what you got. Dude, nice and I got two and you got three that makes how many one two three four five, how many times now it's time to get some oranges? Okay Flynn get the Picker. I was just explaining to Flynn that oranges are good for you when you're sick, because it's vitamin C and he's not feeling too good. So it's perfect one of my favorite things about being a parent is getting to watch a sweet human being experience, cool things for the first time. The twins are at an age where almost everything is the first time going into a restaurant going into a grocery store. Everything'S kind of a first time for them, so you have first with them every single day. First, words: First Steps; first, everything but Flynn's four, so they don't happen as often with him, so that was really cool to be able to see a first for him today. His first rainbow in real life, that's so cool daddy's, getting an orange the hard way. I'M gon na pick one all right. Look at all these oranges guys! So many oranges what'd you get oh nice! We can make some good orange juice out of that bro. Okay, guys it's almost time for me to chop a lobbies, but I filmed a little bit of a video which was very productive and I want to chop off my bangies, but I also was in the middle of sewing. This dress hemming it in before I went and put Flynn to bed, and so now I feel like. I want to finish that because I'm halfway done with that project, I don't want to be halfway done, so I did that, but also you know what I made a fun night. He was so into this sewing machine. He calls it a sewing box. I was like you want to help me with my sewing machine he's, like you mean your sewing box, he loves my sewing box and I taught him how to use it and we made bean bags out of a shirt of his. He wanted to pick a shirt that had cats on it and we just put rice inside of these little squares that he helped me sew like I obviously guided it. He didn't put his hands near it, but he got to push the pedal with his feet. To make it Go, Eric is gon na come in and hang out with me, and I'm sure tell me that I should not be cutting my bangs yeah. That'S supposed to be happening right now. I do want to do it. I also need to wash my hair. It is dirty we're watching a documentary. I have wet the entire top of my head. It'S finally happening guys, I'm talking about this for way too long. You guys have been telling me not to do it for way too long, and now I'm doing it lovey. How do you feel just do what makes you happy? You look pretty, no matter what just buy me lots of hats love. I know you're going to be wearing lots of things. You know that hat that I bought cycle. That happens. You know that hat that I bought in like Portland OR Seattle. I can't remember, I think, we're in Seattle and I'm about like a free people. It'S like a very like yeah, that's gon na come back. I was wearing that all the time and then I started getting concert like please burn that hat. We hate that hat get rid of that hat. That'S the ugliest hat! We'Ve ever seen like everyone who hated it, everyone hates when I wear hats, but they hate no matter what I do so they'll hate the bangs they'll hate the hats. They hate it all anyway, I'm gon na part this and then I'm gon na snippety Snoop. Okay. I just separated out the section that is gon na, be the bangs, like you literally just like make like a little triangle on top of your head, but then I separate it down the middle, so I knew like Parts I wanted to do. There'S evidence of the last time that I cut my hair, which was kind of recently. I feel and look at the difference between the two sides. I know. Obviously you shouldn't be doing this. We'Ve already established that, but, like already, I think it's cute like okay. So here's where the bangs are gon na be but imagine it like bangs Okay, I know you like start at the nose. Like you cut like the nose area where'd, you hear that I don't remember I'm gon na. Do it I'm just like figuring out the amount. What or do it you just said, don't do it I'm going to I'm doing it bye, so I'm gon na start by just cutting there and then I'll go from there every time I've ever done this I freaked out. I literally don't care it's a haircut. You know who cares right remember last time I did this and I was like screaming and this time I was just like okay, perfect done one stretch. Let me go like this and then you like cut it again or something isn't this fun? Love yeah, see it's kind of like curtain bangy right now like I could leave it, but I'm not like yeah, okay yeah. Oh my God. It'S already dry, though this is not good. Oh gosh, you don't want to go too short girl. I feel like I just need to like you know, just like there you go, I need it again. It needs to be wet. Do you have any water? It'S literally dry sink. Ah, that's so far away. Can I put soda in my hair? Will that be fine? I think I don't have to go up and get it wet I'll be back. I went upstairs to wet my hair and I left the scissors. I was using upstairs so now, I'm using the scissors I used to cut the little boy's hair with like the thing on it, because I want to go back upstairs to get them. I love she's, doing it. That'S short right. No, it's not. I mean yeah, but like not really it's too long when it dries well, I'm not going shorter than that right now, I'm just like. Maybe I'll see you guys when I'm done it's too much pressure to try to Vlog. While I'm doing this, but like look it's already kind of cute foreign, I totally messed them up and I did them too short and I did them too thick. But it's okay, who cares? Okay, so here they are ew? Okay, I hate it okay, so, as you can see they're too short, I wanted them to be like long like my eyelashes kind of longer they're like at my eyebrows, which I feel like is kind of kind of bizarre. I don't know guys, I don't here's the deal we knew I wouldn't like them like. This is part of the deal like we knew I was gon na cut bangs and we wouldn't like them. This is like, we collectively understood this part of the process, but I feel like this is the least I've ever hated him. I don't like them and I do regret it, but I feel like I regret it way less than I usually do, and I kind of don't regret it too, because I feel like I wanted to do it. I was just gon na regret, not doing it. So I've done it. I can't regret that I didn't do it like it's done so now. I look like this and now I'm excited for them to grow out, because then I'll chop, my hair short and that's what I'm actually excited about. But we all know that, like if I cut my hair short right now that looks so freaking bad. So we've got to let the banks grow and then we can be kind of short. But I do feel like it's kind of a Vibe like if my hair is like kind of like pulled up like a ponytail moment. Is that kind of a cute thing? What about like? You know like half up moments ew I hate that okay, never mind. I don't like that either. What do you guys think don't tell me? I'M fragile and I already regret it before I cut the bangs every time I look to the mirror. I was like. Oh I'm gon na, do something in my hair, I'm so sick of this. Since I've cut them 10 minutes ago, I feel like every time I've like, because I keep going to the mirror to like keep trimming moments or like try to figure out how to style them or whatever, and I can't figure it out, but um every time. I look in the mirror like when I look up like I'll trim pieces like look up. Sometimes I look I'm like. Oh, I love that and then sometimes I look up I'm like so I feel like that's pretty good, like the fact that sometimes I look at I'm like I'm gon na like it right now, I'm not feeling that way. Right now, I'm kind of like what's happening. I don't know what it's giving, but we'll see how Eric feels I feel like Eric was very anti. The bang he's gon na just say it look pretty because he's nice like that, but let's go show Eric Eric, hasn't seen it. Yet. I'M scared to show him. Oh God, okay, you want to see yeah, I'm scared. What if you never want to kiss me again? Look at me. It looks great lovely yeah. It looks great you're, not a good liar. Oh he's so good. Oh, my God, Lucy yeah you're hiding under the couch, come here you look so pretty you do I'm scared. It shows off your your pretty eyes. The length is just so wrong like I did it too short, and you even said it. You were like they're wet. So you're gon na cut them too short. I just feel like all my hair down looks bad with it. Ponytail bangs is like maybe a moment, yeah yeah, it's fun yeah, it looks, it looks really heavy. It looks, it'll, look cool yeah. I don't know that looks hip, but it it's bangs. It'S interesting how it's like perfectly at eyebrow length. I know, there's a problem, it's exactly with my eyebrows. Like exactly that. I know it's like such a bummer, because you don't think it's a bummer. Well, you don't want them shorter than your eyebrows, because that's weird like I wanted them just a little bit longer than my eyebrows and then I just I got them too short because they were wet, and so when it was wet and I was cutting, it was Like because they are, it was where I wanted them, but then, once you, Dr, like see how it's like, when it was wet, it was like that, and I was like oh yeah, that's what I want not thinking about how, when it dried it would go like Literally up to my eyebrows, so it's like a day or two like it there. Just I don't know. I think it suits you well, it's gon na have to because this is on my head. It'S not clipping bangs they're, real bangs, Okay, I'm gon na go make cookies. I got ta, go goodbye!