Chew On Something - Episode 08 - Let'S Talk About Hair

Thank you, hey everyone and welcome to chew on something where we chew on something for The Taste Buds and the mind. Thank you so much for joining us for our eighth episode, our eighth episode. So this episode we're going to be talking about hair, don't touch my hair because it's the feelings ah clear the theme song yeah, so the eighth episode is gon na be all about hair over the years since we began our natural hair Journey, you've been I've, been About over 15 years, natural I've been about 20 years natural and I've received all different types of feedback about my hair anytime, I left my house so in my early 20s I had a really difficult time on my natural hair Journey because I was receiving so much Vitral regarding my natural hair, so much so that it affected my confidence, because I was a young woman and was building up my confidence, garnering it and every time I left my house several times a day. I would receive derogatory comments about my hair and some love. I would have to say that the longer my hair became the less virtual I received, and I think, there's something to be said as another conversation to be had about the idea of 4C hair, short and 4C long and the type of love - and you know, admiration Against versus when it's short yeah, especially just like hair in general, how sometimes longer hair seems to be more revered or think as more beautiful, aesthetically wise than shorter hair. But I know part which is false. Yes, but I know particularly within the natural hair community but and the pages I've seen even when you see mainstream media 4C hair has never been the type of texture that has been coveted as much as someone has like 3A or 3B texture, and we talk about Texture and people say: oh texture doesn't matter it matters. Definitely if you're talking about regimen, because 3A regimen's not going to work for my 4C regimen right, but also there's no wash and go yeah, there's just wash and then go a few days later. Yes or let me just interject, you can do a wash and going 4C. It just depends the kind of style and state. You want your hair to be because some people tend to stretch their hair because I do braid out so my 4C textures is stretched versus someone that has the same texture that washes and can do a wash and go because they have a certain look or style That, okay right or it just shrink it - you can just walk out of your house with your your normal shrinkage, because you know I could do a wash and go, but my hair length would be much shorter right. It'S just a preference that I have Technically when I think of wash and go. I think it means like very quickly like you wash it and then you're done and then you go right. I mean I used to do a wash and go back in the day. It was very quick, but my hair was very short the longer my hair is, I can't do a wash and go because my strands tangle easily, so I have to do for me it's easier to do a stretch regimen on my hair, so it keeps my individual Strands from like tingling or locking easily, but when I had short textured hair, I used to do a wash and go. I never do yeah. I think also too the idea when we talk about I'm getting more into hair regimen but which I think some people would find interesting right. Yes, but when you talk about detangling on wet versus dry hair, there's a whole debate on that, particularly for 4C texture and I'll. Tell you right now. I would never detangle my hair wet, also the hair when it's wet it's in a more weakened state, so when they say detangle your hair, what they mean really like damp it it shouldn't, be soaking wet. Unless I know how they're right another tangent they're, probably discussing another episode regimen, but when I was in my early 20s, I received so much ritual and I was confused. I was confused by the vitro. I was confused about people questioning what was it all your hair? I mean I've done like a wash and Goofy and showing my scalping people but yeah your hair. I said at some point I had to stop listening to that, because people are gon na believe what they want to believe, and I also knew there's a lot of misconceptions. Stereotypes and Antiquated Notions wrapped around what black hair can do, particularly when it comes to black women like oh, can we grow long here? Can we go thick hair and the answer is obviously yes and yes, but in my 20s I was so confused because we always had long thick hair. Our mom natural hair is thick and it's past her tailbone yeah. So for us growing up in this environment, where we didn't think it was strange or anything different for black women to have long thick hair. I was really confounded when I started to come back these stereotypical ideas of black hair, especially when I face so much virtual. Well, I know for me because we had different Journeys in our 20s, like I was in the fashion industry, because I was a model and TK was did a bit of modeling but really hated it. I didn't know that type of Molly yeah I didn't like it. I didn't like you either that's another discussion, but TK was, you know, she's an incredible musician songwriter. So in her 20s it was in the music industry right. So for me I was modeling, so I was in the fashion industry. My sister was in the music industry and for me my natural texture, I have so many stories like for modeling as a black woman times are changing, it could be changed much more right and we should be progressed further along yeah style chain, but you know I Can say you know decades ago, it was drastically different to be a black model, a model color, especially before social media, before social media, especially before social media, social media, where you kind of call out brands, people just weren't, aware of everything that was going on, because The fashion industry was so exclusive, it really was. I had a successful career, but I faced a lot of struggle. It was mainly because of my hair um and I'm not saying because I was struggling with my texture but because others were struggling with it, and I don't know how many times I heard that oh, you could go so much further. If you just like straightened your hair or put a chemical in it, so it would loosen up The Cools. So you have looser - and I heard that so many times and which is absurd right because I look at your hair and I think it's beautiful right and I'm saying we are twins - I know so you're beautiful. But when we talk about this idea of natural hair as well, we also have to address that a lot of the standards as if there's a standard and Beauty to begin with. But if we're going to talk about this, this typical standard, it's usually in Scots and your eccentricism right, it's always wrapped around your eccentricism. When we talk about black hair, whether it's being professional, whether it looks presentable, it's always a tale behind whether it's behind your essential system right, it's always or as close to that you know aesthetic of that European artist. Yes, yes - and this is what the parameters are based upon when we're pertaining to Black care and what's presentable, what's professional, it has to ascertain with eurocentric standards of beauty, and it's always been like this, and you know we can go back in history and know that This started and slavery here in America. When we talk about black hair issues, um, it's so deeply rooted and we're not even you know, many people within the community are not even conscious of why they're so judgmental against a certain aesthetic right when it comes to black people and people color to colorism colorism. Yes, it's deeply embedded into our history and it's almost so much so that feels intrinsic right. When we talk about these issues - and I know that when I always hearken back to my early 20s, because this is when I had so much trouble. Accepting my natural hair and I'll say this before I had received all this virtual in my early 20s. You couldn't tell me enough: that's how my hair was beautiful right, but then anytime, I left the house several times a day. I'D hear! Oh, your hair is ugly. Oh, what are you doing for hair? Are you gon na fix it all these horrendous comments from strangers, and I thought first off. I thought why are people so obsessed with? What'S on my head? Maybe you should be more obsessed with what's inside my head? Am I a kind person I'm attracting people with cap compassion? What'S inside my heart? Yes, what's inside my heart, it's making this beautiful. I ain't worried about wait what's on my head and secondly I I thought oh well, maybe my hair's not as cute as I think it is, and then I reached this stuff of my journey where I said. Why am I paying attention to these ugly comments that other people have to say about my appearance when they don't matter their opinion? Doesn'T matter how I feel about myself matters, and you would think you know I'm just joking people, but you would think the people that are saying these comments might want to take a deeper look at themselves before they judge others. I tell y'all leave it at that. Yeah you're nice to say you don't say it at all. You know the type of people I have the most to say yes and whether they say don't throw rocks from a glass house um. You hear that saying it's like old school saying: yeah fully absurd. So then I thought then I started to get upset with myself, because I was like look. I shouldn't be paying attention to that type of ritual and that type of hate - and I also felt some of it - was from people that were so insecure with themselves. Yeah had so much hate towards themselves that my confidence or my hair, and the way that I look threaten their insecurities and threatened their lack of confidence right and that bothered them. I think, like the minute, I started to really understand that you know the way that people treat others and how they speak to people is really just a mirror. It'S just a direct reflection of what's happening within them right. It'S indicative of the character and I thought strangers had so much to say so when people go oh you're here all the time, just adore it doesn't matter. Let me tell you, let me tell you it's not that easy. When you're beginning a journey and beginning your confidence right, because if you hear it several times a day, it's difficult to get through. So I understand it's the same equivalent to people that deal with bullying and we've built a full name as well, and I'll tell you so much so that I would get assaulted. Because of my hair. When I was in New York of all places, which I thought hey it's one of the most diverse places in the world, people are not going to pay attention to my hair. I'Ll tell you New York is probably one of the places. I always get a lot of attention regarding my hair and I was insulted. I was assaulted and Herald Square. This man came up from behind me shoved his nasty phalanges right through my hair to my scalp and said. Oh, I was just checking to make sure it was real and let a man tell you - and this was a this - was a older black man I was in raged. I was enraged. I wasn't around y'all protective older sister yeah. Well, let me tell you he won't. Do that again, I was in Rage, I went off and I'll keep it PG, but these are the type of things I had to deal with, and I remember I had a friend at the time and she said that she cut her hair off her natural hair Off because she was exhausted, with dealing with the questions with the Curiosity with people touching her hair and her hair wasn't as long and thick as mine, she had beautiful hair. So I imagine she felt like that and she was relaying these thoughts of how she felt. I think she got a taste of what I was going through so when people say oh, I don't mind the questions, I don't mind the Curiosity, I don't mind people touching my hair. Let me tell you I do mine, I don't mind the question. So much sebringer is much better at answering the questions. I Don't Mind questions I Don't Mind questions as long as you keep it respectful right, um. Yes, it depends on the kind of questions if it's coming from a respectful right. Curiosity place. Yes, I mean you, you can we're pretty good at reading energies and, like you know, if the energy is not there, the respect's not there, then I don't have time for it right. If it is then - and I have patience yes like questions, how do you sleep? I lay my head on the pillow. I close my eyes. How do you sleep I'm such a twin moment? Sometimes I'm like I actually just levitate like on my my neck muscles have become so strong. I just have levitated, and now, after over 15 years of becoming natural, I levitate. While I sleep just my head, is my head levitates. I think you just give them a Crazy Hand. I'M just gon na start giving crazy answers and they most likely will probably believe it yeah, or do you wash your hair? I don't like look when you see a black one with natural hair. It'S not on her to answer the questions. If she doesn't feel like it, she doesn't have to teach anyone. She doesn't feel like it Google's a wonderful invention. That'S you know the World Wide Web. It'S a Wonderful invention, use it. You know for some and for personally - and I don't I don't say that with sarcasm. I say that with you know: a lot of people have Curiosities about different things, especially if, when we're talking the context of hair and what I'm saying is that it's not up to black women to be teachers about their natural hair. If they don't want to. I happen to like talking about hair, but I like talking about hair in a perspective of hey, we need the crown act, hey. We can talk about the case of Chastity Jones, but there is real discrimination that a lot of black men and women face because of their natural hair right, and I didn't want to go back to something when you said that you know, especially as growing up in Your you know early 20s as a young woman and how affected your confidence - and I always used to think about this - I was like - was it because I wasn't it confident then, but I'm a very confident woman. Now, where I was much more in tune to all of that noise, because I was so hyper aware, you know what I'm saying, because I was not confident but then, as I became more confident, I was like. Oh what hardly here I am just like. Is it because I'm not tuning into the noise, but I know it has a little bit to do with that, but I do part of it. Yes, but it has a lot to do with how things are changing, how the world's changing, especially with social media, um and also too, with the long and short hair conversation I was having right before. I do definitely know for me personally: that's how I felt yeah and then also too on the flip side of that is once you understand the reason why people react and say the things that they do has nothing to do with you. It'S just a reflection of who they are and in turn, they're trying to bring you down to their level right and Michelle Obama say they go low. You go high mm-hmm, but you know I feel like my classic Black Box. Yes, but you know, I think, when it gets physical, so that you know story that you just oh yeah, that's a completely different narrative and how you should handle things. You know it's just not just when they go low. I go low too, because you know you put your hands on me: that's a different story right and actually that's not even going well, it's taken up for myself yeah defending myself, but those are just like it's just a drop in the bucket of the crazy things. I'Ve dealt with over the years regarding my hair yeah, I remember I came off set in New York like in my 20s and uh. Just did a shoot and it was actually a cover I found out. I got the cover later and it was like a beautiful like Short afro, maybe no, it wasn't. That short of me, but like eight ten inches and shrunken form and just came off a set shooting this cover. And then I remember walking down the street and this man like yelled, looks like s-h-i-t. Excuse me just in case I need young kids, hey the youngins, watching the things they hear what'd. You say I said the things they hear. I know yeah perpetuation exactly just remember. Having such a great day and then having to deal with this kind of nonsense - and you know for me like, even though he screamed that I've actually been called much worse than that, can we can get into that in another discussion that go it's Way Beyond the Boundaries of hair right uh, but I think, as I become older, let me show you like mind your environment, how they say like mind your environment, but you can't always. You can't control your environment right all the time, so you've built up systems within yourself when you do encounter this like they say you, you can't control how someone reacts or what they say right and do, but you can't really try to it. Yeah, exactly all the time and having those conversations as well. I remember when I would talk a lot about this on social media, hair discrimination, stereotypes on what black hair can and can't do. I also would receive comments from black women um, some black women. That would say uh. The worst comments I received were from my own people and I'll say this. I'Ve received some horrendous comments from black women and black men. I'Ve also received a lot a lot, a lot of love from black women and black men and I'll also say this. I haven't received virtual war or less from any race. I'Ve received a lot of love from Indie people, a lot of hate from Indian people. A lot of love from Asian people, a lot of heat from Asian people, a lot of love from white people, a lot of hate from white people, and I think, because the circles I work in, I come across all different types of races and cultures, and I Received the Gambit, so it hasn't been. So I think also too, when people say that's probably what they're exposed to in their environment, but because of my line of work, I've been exposed to so many cultures and so many different races. I'Ve experienced it all, and I've received hate from most races that I've encountered right, but I've also received a lot of love. But for me basing the love that I have for my hair isn't based on what other people think about it. Good or bad because I had to learn to love my hair when I was mainly just getting a bunch of virtual and also too I remember back in the day when I co-founded Urban bush babies, there are boards and I'm sure there there still are Awards. What do you call them? The yeah boards, you know groups, people put online like Reddit and stuff right exactly and the things people, because I used to read it when we started out and TK was like. Why are you reading those comments? Why are you putting the energy into it? This was like what 10 years ago and then I was like she's right. Why am I, but I was just like? Oh I'm, trying to put information out for our community. I took it like really personal, but you know again that is a deep it's a direct reflection of who people are and how they treat people what they say to people. It has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with them and then, when I really really learned - and that was deep rooted into the way that I processed how people react to you right, then it it wasn't a concern anymore. Then it didn't bother me and then sometimes comments pop up. Now - and I'm just like, is that I know what that's about and I think too, when I was much younger, I would think that hey, I could reason with people, because it's so strange and all that people think that way about black hair and if I reason With them and just want to know like yes, this can and they'll be like okay, but there's nothing. You can say you need to convince on people and it's not my job to convince them, and it's not my job to exert my energy towards that. For me, I think people put too much Obsession on what someone's hair looks like what they doing with their hair. I don't care, and I'm not one of the natural hair people. That'S like oh black, one that has straightened hair is not black and it's not embracing her culture. Nope nada. I don't care about that. I don't care what a woman has in her head because, like Naturals is extension, if it's relaxed, if it's straightened, I don't care is how she treats people exactly because, like I said I within the industry, I met a plethora of people and I met some real Down to the community, women and they're wearing a weave or their hair straight and then on the total poles. On the flip side of that, I met women that are natural black women, women of color that are natural, but don't even know the date of Martin Luther King's birthday. Like I mean like it, just it really yeah it's not. You can never judge a book by itself. Hair is not indicative of whether you're black enough or culture. You know this just to me, I feel, like that's asinine right. I think that way about a black woman. I was like a black woman already receive enough hate, not enough credit in this world last thing I'll be worried about is a black woman in her hair right, like what she's doing I mean, because what, if you lose all your hair, like your hair, does not Doesn'T Define you? No, it doesn't and it's not a symbol of who you are and what you represent right, and I know that people a lot of people always Define Us by our hair and fashion. But I have to say that once you get to know us you'll know those are the two smallest things about us. I'Ve never defined myself by my hair. Other people Define Myself by my hair. Was that line and Dr REI, not my hair. No, no one is their hair. I wear my hair like this because I like it, but when I do talk about natural hair, I do like to talk about the hair discrimination. The amount of black men and women face in the industry, which is why the crown hacked and making it a federal mandate, is so important. This passed in a few States, but not on a federal level yeah. I guess this is a good time to jump into a break because, yes, usually I make the cocktails well. I'Ve only made one cocktail since we've begun so see where I was also taking over cocktail duties as well yeah, so I'm gon na be making a cocktail. I haven't decided a name on it. It'S something with apples and whiskey has apples, whiskey, cinnamon, Moscato little ginger, hmm, we'll think of a funny yeah, we'll think of a fun thing. Okay, you know because I you know like I said everything in moderation, because you don't want to be drinking alcohol every single day, but we gon na work on that name. I think we can come out with something really fun. Yes, we can think of something fun. Okay, see you soon, I'm excited see you soon. Oh wait. That'S that's apples. I say wine. I say whiskey yeah. I love whiskey. It'S my one of my favorite Spirits. Yes, this is. This is actually TK's. Whiskey, courtesy. I was like what kind of whiskey should. I use anything that TK recommends. Like I said, I'm not a cocktail Contour like TK is she's incredible with making and mixing cocktails like, but so are you because you know it's not surprising to me that you would be good at this, because this lady can make anything. You think I don't have anything in my cabinet and see Brian will make something out of nothing and we'll be delicious. So I have faith that this is going to turn out banging when you said something got nothing. Oh thank you, TK. What'S up nothing, making something! Adding nothing, that's what you've gone through. That'S actually the like a new mayonnaise commercial or something! Oh! Is it yeah it's like making something out of nothing? Hey! Thank you, TK yeah! So when we come out, we just call it an apple pie, just apple pie, because it tastes like an apple pie in a cup and like we always say alcohol, moderation, yes, but what we're making is definitely going to be kind of like a picture. So it's definitely going to be for like four to five people right, not just us right. Just not us wow yeah, exactly it was a long day, yeah yeah, but I see apples, so we hitting that healthy-ish and that apple that I can believe. I believe that apples are future. Oh yeah teach them go away, teach the children teach the apples all that they possess the nutrition we possess inside. We can learn to fly and eat a bed of me. Oh now, I've turned off the word now. I'Ve turned into the world. This is not food anymore. I turned out the Weird Al Yankovic, okay, so let's just get together. Okay, so we're gon na take this um, it's a bottle of Moscato, it's actually our favorite! Yes, yes! So this is a serving size for three people. Okay, it looks like it's for more, though, doesn't it no for people that, like a cocktail, a glass of wine, though so what we're going to do is just you're going to use one full bottle of Moscato because, like we said by the time, you're finished, this Is going to be enough for four to six servings right, depending on how big your glass is? Okay, right! Exactly because you know I came up with quarantine, pour well, I'm quarantining era of covet, and I say you could have a regular poor or you could have a quarantine for and myself. I fancy a quarantine form that would be a quarantine part. A poor. That'S a whole bottle exactly you know, that's a quarantine then you're going to take about you know, because I had to ask TK for advice about servings and salads and all that measurement. So right now we already have two ounces of your whiskey. Okay and I mixed it with cinnamon and a bit of honey. Okay, I have a friend that makes us fantastic cinnamon syrup - oh really yeah. So this is just whiskey, cinnamon and a bit of honey and about two ounces. Okay, so we would use it for like of his cocktails. Oh really and then I'm gon na use two more ounces of the whiskey okay, but I know you started using cinnamon and smoothies a while back, because yeah cinnamon has great nutritional benefits. Yeah, it's a really good post-workout to, and this is Moscow Mule syrup, so honey ginger syrup, honey, ginger so - and this is blood orange and then you're gon na throw the apples in or you cut them into four pieces. Just one whole Apple bobbin for apples. Look at that it's a type of Life instead of bobbin for apples and water. We Bop wearing a whiskey, look at that bottom properties and then you're going to use a cup and a half of ice. Okay, we do love a blended drink. You know we love a blended cocktail, smoothies anything Blended foreign. As you can see, it's gon na settle a little bit so it'll be a bit foamy because of the Moscato but think about a full pitcher. Okay smells potent in a good way and then I'm just going to garnish it with a little bit of time. Okay, we got time for that time. Yeah. It sounds like a really nice fragrance too. It does isn't it nice? Okay, don't steal that the green is really fragrance y'all. Oh our straws, oh yeah, for our teeth. Y'All want to protect that enamel drink that alcohol. With a straw foreign. I forgot to have a nerd alert, no remember! No! We just did it, but technically we do not alerts well, it could be thrown in anywhere. Oh nerd alert, nerd alert, nerd alert have nerd, proud, nerd, Stanton United, yes yeah. The lady doesn't like to drink on the job. All the time see you soon, oh my God. Oh that apple pie blew my mind. You look, I consider myself a cocktail connoisseur at home or mixologist and the family, but see Brian surprised me, she's, taking over my duties, you're, cooking and you're, making the cocktails. I don't know if I'm that upset, because all I get to do is taste it, which is great for me and there's no work required. So maybe I don't feel that bad about it, but it was fantastic. Thank you so much sis I mean it inspired me. I do thank you thank you that was just thinking about it. Now I can't keep that stuff at home. I'M gon na be Apple buying it every day. You know I got ta, keep it in moderation, too gay and I'm not even that crazy about apple pie. Oh really, no, it has to be made in particular yeah yeah, but don't encounter the good one. That'S true! Oh, like the apple crumble yeah like crispy. Yes, crust is important, yes and a topping, and it has to the crust. You know people make pies like you. Have to think about the crust too: yes, throw some butter up in there. People be making pie, crust tastes all dry like you're eating them exactly. I don't know like people yeah, I think crust makes all the difference about your feet in 10 weeks or something get rid of that dead, skin, like pie, crust and just be tasting. I don't know where that reference means flaky and dry. Okay, I could see yeah correlation yeah. I don't know there was some butter up in there moisturized moisturize that crust yeah, you moisturize your feet yeah, but it was. It was banging. Thank you all right. I guess we'll jump back a little bit more about there. We'Ll finish it after this episode, because you know we only took a few sips to keep it. You know professional that could be a professional, have a super too yeah a step or two not the whole drink. Like last time, I have a. I have a high tolerance, so so I probably could maybe because I know for a fact, TK doesn't drink when she is performing that's so when she's practicing performing zilch no alcohol. Very true, that's right! Very true! That'S true! True, just a taste yeah, I guess I'll. Let you begin this, I felt like amethyst or running my mouth on the first time. If you can't talk, I'm about to stay on the top say what you have to say running your mouth or just yeah yeah. I meant more so than you, because you know I feel very passionate about right. This subject. Yeah I mean I guess like over the years. You know at the end of the day you just hey. I feel that you and I understand that, but there's a lot of people that put a lot of importance and value in what's on our head or what's on someone else's head right, you know you and I feel completely different, not concerned about what's on your head, But what's going within your head and within your heart right and remember the time when we were on the Steve Harvey Show yeah, it was so fun. So we were guessing the Steve Harvey Show and we were the stylist. So we were stalling sets of twins. They had guests, so we were like their their future. Guests features, give you for the day stylists and we style four or five sets. We have four sets of twins when we took a photo of Steve, Harvey's, fantastic, really nice person, and we got a chance to talk to them after the show as well. But we took a photo and the show posted it on Facebook and we were saved an onslaught of negative comments and so much so that um someone was reading. That was close to me at the time and I said: don't read them, don't read the comments and it was just a bunch of ugly comments about how people hated the way her hair looked and instead of and these were, these are grown folks right, they're grown Folks, yes, um attacking her ringing two young black women. I thought hey instead of being so concerned about our hair, looks maybe you'd be like. Oh, these two young women, are doing their thing and they're actually really trying to bring issues of diversity, inclusivity in the fashion industry and bring a spotlight on black designers and they're. Actually, in these circles, where two young black women with their type of natural hair, hasn't been seen on that type of level before so, you think people would congratulate us or be happy for us, but no, they will just concern and word and expressing their hate for Our hair, I don't feel concerned about other you concerned about yourself right, and I said I just had a good day. I just came off the steam coffee shop. We had a fantastic time and when I saw a few people's comments, I said No One's Gon na bring me down today. This is that on Broadway musical, oh, I can't recognize it. I didn't know which one it was, but the dog, but the donation of it. It'S kind of just like from some kind of music number one. That'S all I felt you know in your head. Sometimes your theme song. I thought nope nope not today, not today, not tomorrow, not you know, years from now and that's speaks values about how far I had come along and our natural hair Journey. Where I didn't give up, you know what I'm gon na say about what everyone thought about. My hair and I thought I was such a liberating and beautiful place to be right. I remember you know, because we have received so many comments. He just and it's so interesting how people think that they'll say something to you and they'll like have you heard that before and I'm like yeah you've received some wild comments? Yeah, I remember one time I was at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and they were having an exhibit and it was crowded, and I think it was the first day the exhibit was premiering. And this there was a white woman and she was standing behind me and she was short as another thing. People were surprised by us by our height, as you know, like I'm 5, 11 TK's, five, ten and a half and that's about Keel. So when we wear heels, then we're like six four six five, you know so, but anyway I wasn't wearing heels on some cute little tiger, cute what'd, you say some cute flat-footed boot cute black-footed boot. That'S how a flat-footed boot should be described from now on. So she was like standing behind me, so I wasn't. Even in my whole, you know six four, six five Glory, just my natural height 5 11. and she was upset that I was in front of her. I was like first of all, I got here about two hours early than you did the line wrapped around. So if you wanted to get my spot, then maybe you should work out a little bit early and showed up two hours prior to the exhibit, which is what happened to me. I hear that well, I showed up one time in the exhibit, but I was there like. It was a long and I forgot what is it me was Alexander McQueen, Okay yeah. I can't remember anyway, no you weren't there. I was with another girlfriend at the time and she was like. Ah excuse me, you should like move out of the way you big tree. I was like. I was like first of all at first, I didn't know she was telling me so I turned around. I was like excuse me and she's. Like you hurt me, I was like okay well hear this. I was like first of all, thank you because trees Supply oxygen to the air and the plants, and they also provide habitat to about 80 percent of the world's testosterone. Biodiversity, so you're welcome that you're breathing today, because of me bye and she just got through there like my girlfriend was like, I think that has to be probably like one of the most non-confrontational but confrontational educational clap backs ever heard it. It'S called a classy clap. My folks see Brown says she was above them, but honestly she's very well Adept at them. It'S natural. It'S a name. It'S a classic black bag. That'S fantastic! You see the science on her too. Damn she probably didn't know what happened. You'Re welcome lady you're living in my world. She was probably flabbergasted like what does that mean? I don't even think she could even like. I think what she was thinking is that I was gon na give her attitude back. You know, because that's what people a lot of times, people that project, that energy want the same energy for that, because they want you to feel just as miserable and tied and disgusting as they are. And then sometimes it can defuse the situation. And then sometimes it can also escalate it, because people get upset that you're not responding right with the same energy that they're given I'm like. Look I'm full of joy. Yes, you're going to be upset this Joy, it's your problem, but then, like also too like on the flip side, we've received so much love yeah. I remember another comment just to show you the range of comments that we get there was this little girl walking with her daddy. I remember I was walking past Barnes and Nobles, and this little girl goes like Daddy. Daddy here looks like a cloud is that where Mommy is she's in heaven in the clouds and her dad was like yes and and she was just like looking and I stopped, and I was like - oh thank you so much. I was like that's such a beautiful comment. I was like you know. I love your dress and she was just like this and I just thought that was so sweet yeah, so beautiful you're right. I think I stressed that as well in the beginning, love for her hair yeah. I think it's a beautiful thing. I just think that there's just so much stereotypes and Antiquated Notions wrapped around yeah natural hair. Did you ever remember this case Chastity Jones, this woman that had been hired for a job, but the offer was rescinded because she refused to cut her locks because they said it went against their grooming standards? And let me just say this quickly: these grooming standards are based again or eurocentric standards, or what's professional and acceptable the way my hair grows out in my head, which is the afro texture. That'S not seen as professional presentable in these Antiquated grooming standards, especially when you're talking about the corporate world. I remember outside the corporate world. There was also this huge article on black women and The Newsroom and newscaster industry, and they said for the longest time, which has been great because of last few years, you've seen black newscasters, wear their hair and locks and braids and twists. It'S been a beautiful thing. Seeing the evolution but before they couldn't wear their hair, like that, they always had to wear it straightened or defined by these Antiquated Notions of grooming. So this is from an Essence article, but I remember this is a big case um, because the Supreme Court decided that the circuit court that said that it wasn't discriminatory for this company to rescind the offer decided that they want to hear the case. Okay, which is why, when we talk about the crown act - and this was before the crown act - why the crown Act is so essential, but they said and a 3-0 decision. The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals dismissed the case brought by the equal employment opportunity. Commission against the company that refused to hire a woman because she wouldn't cut off her locks. According to the Wall Street Journal, Chasity Jones applied to work at a Management Solutions company in 2010 and was initially hired with the role came with. One condition. Jones was told that she have to cut off her locks in order to comply with the company's grooming policy. She refused to do so, and the job offer was presented. The EEOC alleged in its case that banning locks constitutes race discrimination because dreadlocks are wearing the hair that is culturally associated with people African descent. The EOC said that the argument was based on an understanding of race as a social construct that has no biological definition. The Supreme Court, long story short, ruled against hearing the case because they deemed it not discriminatory for this company to rescind the artwork, because the woman refused to cut her locks, and this was an error before the crown act. So when we talk about the crown act and we talk about these grooming standards, we know what they're again um that game with that young um black teenager, he was in a wrestling match and they made him cut off his locks. Yes, to participate to be able to compete within the game. I remember that yeah. I remember writing about that and posting about it at the time when it happened, but there's a lot of that going on. Especially there was a young girl in South Africa. He was dealing with her school Banning her from wearing her natural hair, which was an afro a lot of cases, not only men and women, but young children that have to deal with discrimination or racism when it comes to their hair and sort of this Antiquated idea. Again, that's based on your eccentricism right, but when we talk about her hair, I think the main thing I knew when we were working in the fashion industry and I saw very little representation of our 4C hair is. I just wanted young girls and young women to see us in the represent, see us as a representation that was lacking and we had to be our own representation because growing up, I barely saw anyone with our texture and mainstream media, especially in fashion right and also To be judgmental also to regarding the way that you wear your hair, I've been wearing my hair this way for years and years and years, and because I work out so much, I have just found a hairstyle that really works for me and my schedule and I'll Have people say well, you should change your hairstyle. You should do this with your hair. You should do that with your hair. Is anybody going up to Anna winter and saying that is anyone going up to handle one tour and say you should change your hair after how many years has she been wearing the same here? I'Ve always said that I mean like, and it looks great so, if you're doing what works. For you just mind your business right and also too people want to know the reason why our hair, how we get the length that we achieve and the thickness people don't like to talk about jeans, because, let's face it, not everyone can achieve the same length. Not everyone can achieve the same thickness. It also has to do with genetics, but also to a big reason as well, for us is because of low manipulation. So when people want to be like why they always wear the hairs, I mean I do change my up. Yeah, you change your hair more, I do in the latter years, but for the big bulk of my natural journey. I would wear one style mostly, but I always wear a braid out, because that prevents tangling when people want to ask questions about her hair low manipulation is a huge one for us to maintaining lens our strands of most spine. So we have to be the most important exactly you just cannot get over consumed by what else thinks about what you should be doing with your own hair or just basically with your life in general? Okay, I remember I put up a video on YouTube. This was probably in 2012 2013 when I was working on the website, and I put this tutorial video. I was parting, my hair, because you know everyone was like. Well, we can't see your scalp. I was like, of course you can't see my scalp. My hair is thick um, sometimes when I'm doing myself, so I know you're not going to see it, and I did this video and I was like parting, my hair, you know to show my scalp, because there was all this. You know my hair was about. Probably half the length it is now people still didn't believe because it was thick that it was all mine. I posted a video and people were like. Oh, oh yeah, you know thank you for doing that, and then some people were like it still. Ain'T real like so you know it just doesn't it doesn't matter, you cannot please the only person you should be trying to. Please is yourself. Does it work for you right other than that? Do you think I got all day trying to convince people? No, and do I want to be doing it, no! No! I know I know no, no, no, no! No! No! No! No! It'S Mutombo said not to do. Oh. I want to spend all day doing all that I got a lot of other, better things to be doing. Yes, this is one of the reasons why I always bring up that we don't Define ourselves by our hair. Like I said again, you get to know us. You know let the smallest thing is about us, it's hair and fashion right now I love fashion. I love, I love the biggest percentage of what makes me me exactly. I mean I mean you want to get some percentage of how maybe other people perceive me, but not how I perceive myself exactly. I mean at the end of the day it's like we're speaking about Aesthetics and that's what it is, and I you know I do think it plays a it can help inspirational wise because you know because we love Fashions so much, but I think at the end Of the day, what we're trying to convey it exactly convey is that it doesn't make the person like you know what I'm saying it doesn't Define who the person is at the end of the day, what's going on inside here, what's going on inside here? What are you doing with your health? Are you treating yourself right yeah? These are the questions we should be asking yes well, but I think one day we also should dive into regimen. Not a lot of people have questions. I'Ve. I'Ve talked about my original regimental blue. In the face, don't believe in the face I mean so it's pretty much the same regimen I've been doing for almost 15 years. True yeah same yeah. Here I mean I have changed it up slightly, so I'll do a braid out and then, but a big part of my regimen is never washing my hair. All out. I was washing braids right. Okay, I would never even gain the same to wash my hair, not in braids. That'S been the biggest part which cuts down a lot of tangled hair yeah, because I always explain to people. Oh, why do you wash your hair with braids? For you know, people that may not be well versed in the natural hair community, explain it as imagine taking a spool of thread and just cutting 500 pieces of thread and then dunking it all in water and then try to detangle all those pieces of thread. So washing yeah visualizing, you know yeah, I always got. I always got faith in you, but yeah. So you know I imagine it. You know. That'S the visualization that I give to people, which is the reason why we always wash our hair in big braids yeah. I would never wash my hair loose, I'm still fascinated for that. Vanilla joke it's great. You can use it next time. I will yes yeah, but hopefully enjoyed our hair tail yeah, we'll do another one in the future yeah. I could. I feel like there's so many also too in relation to work, how we've dealt naturally, yes in our lines of work and on the latter years of working together professionally how people handle your hair in the fashion industry yeah. Oh my gosh a shoot. This was in my early 20s when I said hell to the no to modeling right, which is why CBR was really naturally just very good at modeling. Well, the latter years when we started to work together after you started UVB. I became good at it because we're incorporating things that we like right things. We talk about. It'S a Sisterhood diversity, including our writing, so it was really fun. I was able to do some music, it just wasn't being like a mannequin right, which is nothing wrong right, there's nothing wrong with that. But for us we wanted to do something different. Then, when it was a straight modeling, I disliked remember being the shoot - and I remember this: hair hairstyles did not know how to work my hair, so she was first of all, she was combing from the root. She wasn't combing from the ends and working her way up. She was coming through and I just remember looking down seeing clumps on my freaking hair on the floor and from then I said no more. I always do my hair on shoes yeah. I did a Paul Mitchell campaign and I came in on to set with a full head of hair and left with half. Oh, my God, what I came in with the uh. They had no idea. The Stylist had no idea how to work with my texture. How to properly straighten my hair and it takes time, and they don't have that kind of time set, which is why I also say I don't let anyone do my hair when we, when we ever we work together. Mom is because it takes patience and, frankly, the time that's allotted to shoot is not the time that's required to style my hair, because you have to be extremely patient and patient and gentle. They don't call it TLC For Nothing exactly right. So we got a lot to talk about on that subject, so that'd be a good another yeah yeah episode idea hey. So if you have any questions for us in this hey, this is a Tom National, Hair, question, yeah sure yeah. I always say we always precursor. Before you got questions for us, but you know just know about here, my hair. This is the time to ask your question. Your hair questions. Yes yeah. This is a good time to ask you it's a good time, because we're talking about here yeah feel free yeah. Okay, I just don't want to be talking about trauma and then someone's like. What'S your hair regimen, which I had received, yeah yeah yeah, so yeah, this is the time you know ask the appropriate question the one appropriate. Yes, sir, that's all we ask thinking, but thank you so much for joining us episode. We really appreciate it. You know when we reached episode 10, it's gon na be a party yeah. So this is the 100th episode. No it's the 10th episode like we say we like to celebrate life over here, exactly yeah. You never know life never take one day for granted exactly so we're not taking episode eight for granted, it's a celebration So yeah. Thank you so much for joining us. Yes, I will see you next week. As always, it's been such a joy to be able to share these moments with you see you next week, yeah on she wants something.