Long Haired Businessmen With J.K. Simmons
The big meeting is finally here and Mr. Torrance (J.K. Simmons) proves he is the king of long haired businessmen.
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CREDITS:
Starring - J.K. Simmons, Ben Wietmarschen, George Kareman, Pat O'Brien
Written & Directed by - Ben Wietmarchen, George Kareman, Pat O'Brien
Director of Photography - Matt Sweeney
Post Producer - Alex Parks
Editor - George Kareman
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See the original at: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/9c525...
Gentlemen. [ Kevin ] Mr. Torrance., Thanks for coming in., [ Kyle ] Good to meet you Kyle. Kyle good to meet you. Kyle uh, Kevin., Kyle, Kevin Kevin, Kyle., [, Kyle ]. I would be Kyle. Kyle, first Kevin [, Kyle ], I wouldn't be Kevin And your K name would be. This is Seth., I'm Seth, I'm the one. They call Seth. [ Mr. Torrence ]. Okay, so have a seat. [, Seth, ], Yeah I'll, take a seat here.! You were okay, getting into the parking structure that all worked out, [ All ], Oh yeah.. Actually it was a dream. [, Seth ], It's a very nice facility.. We were commenting actually on what great facilities you guys have out in the No. We try to keep it fresh.. Actually, there was construction out there for the longest time., Oh no. [, Mr. Torrence ], So yeah. [ Kevin ]. Did it disrupt? No, it didn't affect the parking.. Oh well, that's you know what I mean.. That'S the last thing you want. These construction, it happens almost randomly. It seems like., It's ubiquitous., [ Kevin ], It's absolutely ubiquitous. When I was a kid, I never saw construction once. Right.. What is there to build now? It seems, like things are built. Yeah exactly.. If anything, we should be tearing down. Yeah make some room for more beautiful parking, structures. Yeah., So irritating., Okay, well enough chit chat.. Let'S just say we get down to brass tax, gentlemen. [, All ] Absolutely.. I was actually thinking the exact same thing. Just to piggy. Back onto what you were just saying, I was thinking the exact same thing. Right and we didn't wan na roll out the dog and pony show for ya. And we're here about two things, and that is bricks and clicks.. [ Kevin ] Bricks and clicks. And best practices., So really three.. That is the way we do things here at the Torrence Group as well. We're about two things. We're about best practices., We're about keeping it linear. [, Kyle, ], Exactly., Keeping your eye on the ball and, at the end of the day, keeping everybody looped in. Yeah. It'S really about communication., Oh man, I'm so glad you said that. I got ta tell ya. My undies have kinda been in a bunch today, and I mean that quite literally. [ Kevin ], Oh no.. My wife got me these new boxers and they are really bunchin'. Up., I've heard the same thing about boxers. [, Mr. Torrence ]. Now what do you where I wear briefs., I'm thinkin' about trying the briefs.? How do you like them? They'Re great you, know., They're, supportive and you know breathable they're white briefs. Show me.. Just I wan na see your briefs. See how I like'em. Oh yeah. [ Mr. Torrence ] You're, probably gon na wan na stand, up. [, Kevin ], Sure. Yeah drop your trousers and just gon na gander at them. [ Kevin ], Buttoned. [, Mr. Torrence ], Yep. Tempus fugit Take'em down Kevin., Give me a quick 180 there.. Let me see how they hang off the rear. Sure yeah, turn around. And then yeah lift up the jacket there. I wan na see the waistband there.. I think those are some high wasted bad boys. Aren'T they Yeah uh-huh., You know call me crazy.. I could see him in a size smaller.. What do you boys think We actually.? Yes, we've been sayin' the same thing., Not to piggy back onto what you just said, but I think you could do a size smaller.. Just one size, if you yeah yeah one size smaller, I think, would be just right., Actually just just a brief walk, maybe around the chair with the pants at the ankles.. So I could see what that would look. Like. I'd like to see that too.. I was planning to grow into these.. I'Ve always been a grower. A grower, not a shower. [ Kevin ]. Well, actually, when it pertains to my body overall yes.. So now you're I mean usually people say grower, not a shower they're talking about their dick.. Oh right, yeah, I have heard that.. I went to college.. I remember hearing that in college, but I was Mr. Torrence. Do you want us to take our pants off -'Cause we're happy to We're happy to I mean. No. [ Seth ], No okay. Yeah guys. He just wants me to show him. We're good, though we're good, though You can yank'em up. Go ahead and pull'em up. [ Mr. Torrence ] Yeah pull'em up. I'd rather not have you sit on the chair with the pants down.. That'S not what our business! That'S, not! What we're about. As a company to sit on chairs without pants.'Cause, we wanted to loop, you in actually on. I don't know if you Kevin wan na yeah. This is a. What I think you'll find is a very handsome proposal from our end that I think will leave your eyes wide shut., A handsome proposal that I think will make your head spin., Metaphorically speaking, right, Absolutely., We'd, never wan na cause, you any injuries to your head or Neck., Oh exactly, and it is a fragile area and unfortunately, increasingly fragile as one ages you'll find. A little traffic accident could, ah it could affect you for the rest of your days.. Now have you been in traffic accidents? Oh yeah, yeah. I'Ve been in everything.. I'Ve been everywhere done: everything. Been around., [, Seth ], Oh of course I mean I could tell Every single traffic accident that I have been in. In my 79 years. My fault. [ Seth ] Wow Interesting.. Now that's a power move. That I respect. Yeah. I respect that., No, I'm not a victim. [ Seth ] Right absolutely., I'm not some fuckin' pussy victim like new millennium. Let me let ya if there's one thing, that I am not it's a fuckin' pussy. No way.. I hate fuckin' pussies.. If I saw a fuckin' pussy I'd run'em over with my car. [ Mr. Torrence ] Actual pussies are Don't get us wrong, we ( laughs ). You got three red blooded Not to be judgemental in any way.. Of course, absolutely not. We're not here to judge anyone. You're lookin' at three of the most un judgemental Open, minded. Fellas, just to cut to the chase here. I think we're gon na need to take a little time with this see. What'S gon na work for us. Oh., You know absolutely and I think actually we probably want to go over this ourselves.. I haven't actually looked at this yet. As far as this goes. This is not finished, or even really I don't even like. What'S in there., It says right on top it says final. (, all talking at once, ) We'll, let you know you know once we're ready to come back to you.. Okay, thanks for comin' in., We'll circle, back., [, Kyle, ], Yes, absolutely., [, Kevin ], We'll review this of course., We'll circle, the wagons and sort of get our people looped in and get you looped in and I'll get an email out to all. My team leaders see if we can get the shareholders hoisted on board ship. And we're gon na get another eye full of that beautiful parking lot.. You might catch us up there for the next four hours.. No, I actually prefer, if you just in and out no loitering in the. I think you guys should probably I'd rather just be the last to go. Out. Alright, bye, bye, Seth., I'm actually after you. Kevin., [ Kyle ]. If you wanted to actually Take care. Thanks. Mr. Torrence., Don't worry about these guys., I'm the last word on it.. I got you just pull that behind you. I'll actually get that'cause. I wanted to close the door.. It was great meeting you. Nice to see you.. Alright thank you., ( inhales, deeply )
Comments
splabbity: Great video. I like how it maximizes the bottom line, while efficiently maintaining an effective and robust profile.
dreaminginnoother: I know this series has had mixed reactions, but I really like it. I hope they keep making them.
crowncliff: Ccreepy, awkward, bursting at the seams with cliches, ...completely hysterical.
Al S: This was hilarious, because it perfectly represents the language spoken in the corporate environment, and I fucking hated it. Thank God I left that shitty field years ago.
Buc O.: I'm amazed at the restraint of not playing with the hair or flipping or tossing it around.
Puncherjoe1: J.k Simmons with hair is something i never know i wanted
Logan: I've been bullish on this video for a long time. You can tell that the cultivation of synergy there has really impacted their overhead. I'm going to bring everyone in on this, including Jenkins, put our heads together, and I think we'll see a lot of momentum.
Chase Smith: "That's not what we're about: to sit on chairs without pants." Haha. So good.
Lavish LaVon: Wow, i mean just wow. That has got to be some of the most cutting-edge writing in a comedy bit that ive ever stumbled upon. HILARIOUS lol
LV-426: How the fuck do you get through a scene like this without the whole crew cracking up from just the improv alone. Genuinely brilliant.
Nils Berg: Please to god keep them coming. I don't know why I like them but I for some other earthly reason they are so funny to me
Rory Smith: We need some more of these ASAP please!
TyrantTitan: "Those are some high-waisted bad boy's aren't they...?" lmfao
tchrisou812: "Every traffic accident I have ever been in, my fault. I'm not a victim."
Ariel King: I couldn’t laugh because it all felt too accurate
Jonathan Hazlett: Just thought I'd reach out let you know I'd like to see more of these, moving forward.
Mendoza Family: Some of the lingo used it totally used in corporate America. I hear it everyday at work.
buhbuhbuhbennay: Funny! Finally. This is good comedy, unlike the political stuff. Love JK Simmons.
beatz04: Bookmarked so i can watch it every time i feel i've become a corporate idiot.
blue bird: Omg this is Torrance... I'm piecing the story together despite the monotonous conversation
Rauldinho: I see J.K. Simmons and it's an instant like
Alex Knight: "Exactly. What is there to build now? It seems like things are built." BRB. Dying...
cascade: Ben Wietmarchen, George Kareman and Pat O'Brien are geniuses
Jared Pahl: J.K. Simmon's face looks so goddamn funny under that wig!
Ambassador Grey: “Just to piggy back off what he just said” If I hear that at the office one more time, I’m going to choke a ninja out.
Melody E.: My dad is literally all these men.
Ruu Yin: I couldn’t imagine that they’d actually look like this, I wanted more men to grow out their hair
Jaqen H'gar: J.K. Simmons looks like a White Walker.
Marcia Pze: This was hilarious!!
The One: "high-waisted bad boys" lmao
SonnyGTA: Exactly the corporate world. You mimic everything the boss says. Especially in an interview. It’s so pathetic and painful. And sad.
Rob Cabrera: I don't know how to feel here. I am a long haired business man. I like this.
Lemmy K. Is God: I trust these guys and they need to start a band
Sahuagin: ugh, this is too realistic... it hurts...
superspeeed: This is very intelligent and subtle writing. Regardless, *I WANT PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!*
Cory Mck: "Now that's a power move"
andreag316: Pure gold
vmwindustries: "We just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other!"
Philip Zeplin: I swear, until 2:18 I was like "I swear, I've had this EXACT fucking meeting several times before" - like that shit was on fucking point, man. Upper-Mid'ish level white business/client meeting, exactly fucking like that.
PinkDiamonds: "It's ubiquitous!" omg hahahah
Roslynd Antinori: I couldn't do this with a straight face, lol
Lukas: I really, really wanted to see that beautiful parking lot. Such a let down...
Gunkanjima: Just found out about this over weekend. Corporate language is so mundane, JK plays in this role perfectly
brett neuberger: This is so painfully hilarious.
gamercboy5: "Why are we building? We should be tearing down to make room for more beautiful parking structures"
dinkus stinkus: This was weirdly unsettling. Much like a long haired businessman
Kick Start: I’m gonna have to circle back and see some more of these
Ninef Sargis: in and out there's no loitering BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
Maciek300: this is genius
Metal Boss: We know a thing or two, because we've seen a thing or two.
Shane Blankenship: j.k Simmons is hilarious in that long Wizard teen wig!
T Stan: I never even seen construction as a kid
Anthony Chaucer: It’s scary that they are using common workplace banter as satire
Mark Majchrowski: “It’s ubiquitous”. An absolute corporate buzzword used by people who have no idea what it means but it sounds good! LOL
curtiieethirty okiedohkey: We need now more than ever to maintain dialogue
Ani Vasion: God I love J.K. Simmons
Bluewaffle: I wish everything in life was this awkward
BenJamminAsh: J.K. Simmons looks like an elderly Billy Mitchell.
sbFRESH: This is brilliant.
Kaleigh Crass: Great video. Great job guys
Paul Marginean: Too relatable
chatter: I hope everyone washed their hands and hair after this meeting
operation B.E.N: Its finally back! And J.K Simmons!?
Tony Valdez: Why do I now have the urge to by a pair of dockers?
heruilin: Oye, they got me at "parking structure".
periel: I wonder if this is all improv. Really funny.
tony montana: Not to piggy back but I thought it was a power move too,
Justin Valedon: I feel like everyone is so close minded about this skit. I think, and with all due respect, is that we should be not more open minded or close minded but more of a mid-minded if you know what I mean. After we throw a few ideas together about being mid-minded and we still don’t agree then we should be more open minded about the situation but definitely be more close minded about our intentions which is to, at the end of the day be more mid-minded about the whole open/close minded thing....
Brian Lange: An extensible team steps up to the challenge of executives. We're going forward on an enterprise guesstimate. Can we indeed say that a team-building gating factor does the right thing about standard corporate titans? The benefits knock your socks off, so all of you ride the wave of staffing. Mergers are not going to utilize a bleeding-edge committee, so the focus takes the issue off-line. We will really take over the enabling market for mind-blowing ownership of vertical markets. If we can foresee the benefits of value-added feedback, then the environments will assure us mindshare. An executive advisory board has hits, which goes to show that a red flag takes ownership of revolutionary human resource allocations.
Anubhav Chaudhary: Nice to see vern found work after his prison sentence.
PSYCHONAVT: I felt like I needed to scream into a pillow ever since 10 seconds in
circleof light: Pure gold!
Stumble-through Productions: Sometimes this size of hair is a dream for girls!!! *LMAO!!*
HeadHunter94: That's enough internet for today.....
Gabriel Berki: Just a brief walk around the chair with the pants at the ankles.
ronishamay: Whenever i see J.K. Simmons i flashback to OZ, Schillinger and Beacher.
Tzvi Eisenmann: They act so casual. Too casual.....
₽aco: Lmao the funniest part was J, K Simmons taped fingers
Mr. G: @ end ....when there leaving ....JK should’ve said leave underwear ....it would’ve made it more awkward & creepy
MrMacAwesome: Comes from the vending machine world, made him tough.
spankytag: This is brilliant
Michael Phifer: This guy's got upper management written all over him.
MusicOrGetMugged: this should be a meme
John Hutchinson: Seth is the type of guy to say "I did Nahhht hit her
HUNKS Comedy: "Just one size smaller. Just one."
Austin Debski: They look like every villain in all anime.
NeoBulRheGhi: That is some business practices.
Cleopathra Carter: To men: Yes, grow your hair out.
like a rock cm: I personally would welcome hippie overlords instead of the warmongers we have now
nigelcarren: Gentleman.... I wanna start a band!
nadamasdisponible: Way to take control of that sale!
Metal Boss: He knows a thing or 2 because he seen a thing or 2.
8523wsxc: The guys with their wigs look really funny next to JK, who obviously only wears his natural hair.
Cifolotto hurt: It doesn’t help that Simmons was in Oz lol
superspeeed: This is some seriously circled back lopped in Schick.
ZEN ZEN: Is that Tanner? "That folder is your responsibility!!!!!!"
amytyville: 2:32 gonna tell my kids this is Bombshell (2019)
samus1421: that was pretty good
13thgenerationAmerican: I went upstairs to get like my last roll of toilet paper so I missed it. why was that guy pulling his pants down?
Diogenes' Lantern: "Tempus fugit" lol