How To Be Confident With Freeform Locs Chatty Twist Takedown: My Haitian Natural Hair Journey

Hi, beautiful friends, welcome to this chatty little twist. Takedown I've been wearing these twists for about three days or so um. I love my hair when it's twisted. I just love the chunkiness of it and it reminds me of back in the day before getting locks in high school. This was like 20. 20. 10. 20. 2009. Excuse me to 20 2009. 2010 yeah. Your girl is almost 30.. I mean 30. This year um. I used to have my hair like this, except these twists were extensions, and now this hair is mine, y'all and it's so interesting. I used to pray literally. I used to pray to God. I would be like God, please when I take out this hair, please let it be mine and all those years later prayers answered, I think, growing up as a black woman with kinky hair. My hair was probably my biggest insecurity growing up and I grew up overweight family constantly commenting on my way telling me to lose weight. You know having anxiety going to the doctors, if you remember the physical day in gym, where they weighed us anxiety, and still my hair, I think, was the cause of my my biggest insecurity as a kid, because that was the one thing I felt like. I had absolutely zero control over like with exercise and diet. I kind of knew you could lose weight, even though I had no idea how to go about doing it, but I was like you know what I could see a world where I could lose weight. Potentially um, but I had no idea how I could get nice hair for me. You know outside of getting extensions and weaves and I never had a weave actually, but I did I was an extension girly. I used to do braids and twists, and that was kind of the precursor to me finding locks and I'm so thankful that I just went with it, because there are some voices in my immediate community that, like prefer a more Western, conforming presentation and so to have Kinky hair and to have locks that are kinky not only kinky, but that are more in the free-form style. So you can't really see my scalp, except for where it's parted. It was actually kind of a big risk for me, and this is so funny because somebody actually commented on the YouTube channel. Can you do a video on being kind of secure in yourself with freeform locks, and so I guess this is that video being secure with my locks was definitely a journey, because this is actually my sixth set of locks. This is the first time that I've succeeded. This long I first started my junior year of college and I went to the University of Pennsylvania, which, if you're unfamiliar with it, it's an Ivy League school, which means that it's a predominantly white institution that has a legacy of wealth and status. And, of course, obviously, imagination, Innovation, intelligence, but also wealth and status and being around my predominantly white classmates, I wanted to fit in somewhat as best as I could to that kind of legacy of eliteness of whiteness whiteness. Let'S say that um, so my style was definitely preppier back in those days and I loved it. It wasn't because I was conforming. It was because I loved it and also because there was a loft on campus, and so I would just always find myself there and buy those clothes yeah. You know um, and so I wanted to be seen attractive by those people and specifically those guys, and I didn't think that they would necessarily find me that attractive with starter locks that are shrinking like crazy, because also by then I had grown out my natural hair To a really good length, for it was the longest my hair had ever been because oh yeah, I guess I should also say that part of why I was so insecure about my hair is because I have been getting relaxer since I was like six and my Hair was really damaged, and all I did I would put my hair in like you know that, like struggling ponytail, you barely have enough hair to get it in, but you got it in like that was my look for most of my life and until I went Natural and I naturally went natural thanks to extensions I just kept in My kinky twist. I started wearing kinky twists and it looked like my hair and I was like wow. I love it and then I just naturally went natural and it was perfect timing because that was when the natural movement was on and popping. So there were resources. Finally, because it wasn't, you know it wasn't my mom put in my hair, because that that's what she knew and her mom my grandmother actually has when she was alive. She had very loose textured hair, we're Haitian and if you know anything about Haiti, you know that Haiti is an incredibly diverse place like there are so many different skin colors, hair, textures, even ethnicities in Haiti, and that's something that is actually often overlooked. There are so many there's, so such a diversity in Haiti and my grandma was a little bit more of what they call Marabou and Marabou. Is you have darker skin, but you have like more white features. I I.E like or even native. We could even say that these come from native um roots in Native Heritage um, but yes, so darker skin, with like looser textured, hair or light colored eyes, my Grandma had the hair. She had very loose hair, like probably, I would say, maybe like type two, maybe like type 3A. If you can picture it, it was like it was loose. She had Loose Hair and my mom had kinkier hair, and so my grandma didn't know how to do my mom's hair and so my mom went to you know the relaxers and all of that, and so she was just doing what she knew um and but it Didn'T work for me, it did not work. My hair was a mess. Let'S just say that my hair was a mess and it was my biggest insecurity and, interestingly enough, I faced that insecurity. Again after growing out my hair and feeling like wow, like I've, got beautiful hair. Now I had loose natural hair that I would style and I would you know, I'd get compliments on and I was like. Finally, my hair is worth something, and it was like going natural for me was like the biggest turn in my life. I would say it was. It was a big deal in terms of bringing me back to my authenticity, so I think that's a lot of comments that I get just having more of a public profile now on the interwebs. A lot of people, I think, are drawn and express appreciation for my authenticity, and I'm very thankful for that, and I'm thankful that I'm at a place where I appreciate who I am authentically and going natural was definitely a pivotal moment. Because how could I appreciate who I truly am, if, like I don't know it, because I never really knew my natural hair? So I guess I say all that to say. Consider going natural if you haven't already, but also natural hair, is wonderful and any way that you love yourself is powerful. So I'm not saying you have to go natural, but I encourage you to at least try it if you've never really spent time with your natural hair to learn it. And then, if you want to go back to straight hair, to weaves to extensions like go for it, but at least know yourself, you know so going to our cozy little question on having confidence with freeform Vlogs, I mean for me. It'S really just about loving the look of it and putting your standard of beauty before all else putting, and that goes to a big spiritual lesson that I think we all must learn which is putting our voice, above all else, no longer caring, no longer putting either Society'S voices, the invisible voices of our past of our families, of our friends Society in general, any voice outside of yourself cannot be above your own voice and when we are insecure, we are putting those other voices that tell us this is wrong above our own. So I would say the key to being confident with freeform license is like if you truly love free from lots and that's the reason why you're doing it, you love the look of it. You love how it feels on you like there. It is that's that opinion and anybody else's is going to be sub par to your opinion, so really exalt yourself and that's the advice that I give to. Anyone who is struggling with like an insecurity is to exalt your voice and your purpose in the matter and say you know like like with my body I've. I had a lot of insecurity because I told you I grew up overweight, constantly being picked up from my body. Well now, I'm at a place where I appreciate my body. What'S more, I love it. I think it's beautiful. I think it's my standard of Beauty. For me, it's the most beautiful that I want to be. You know, like I manifested this body, and so I put that Above All Else and when I look to the magazines into the news which I don't but when you know sometimes it's impossible to skip it. If you're in the grocery store, for example, the boom headline um, I'm still gon na put myself in my authority here and put those other voices here, and I can say I understand where these people are operating from it's from a place that I'm not operating from. So when you think of those insecurities, I think a lot of times we're internalizing and we are what's that word, anticipating the Judgment of others and internalizing it within ourselves, and so my advice for you, dear freeformers, out there of the world natural beauties anybody who's on The uh margins of society and feeling like you're less than because of it, change that narrative and put your thoughts and your standards for your life, Above All Else, all right, beautiful ones. This is our little chatty. Take down love ya!