Why I Choose To Have Gray Hair

When people ask me about my gray hair, i tell them all the time my gray hair has nothing to do with my age. My gray hair is my form of self-expression, so it never ceases to amaze me that as a society, women, especially women over 50 women, my age - i am 57 - have to constantly feel like we need to validate our appearance now. Part of that is just these unrealistic expectations that is placed upon women on how they're supposed to look when you have gray hair, you're, immediately labeled as old as incompetent as um as unpleasant, and to me it's like you, know what i might be old and unpleasant, But my gray hair has nothing to do with that. My gray hair is my form of self-expression, so i thought it would be kind of fun today to just kind of share my story with you as to what led me to that decision to be like hey, you know what i'm not gon na hide, who i Am anymore, i'm not going to cover up who i am and um. It was a really cool and powerful empowering moment for me and i thought it'd be fun to share with you. I come from a family of early grayers, meaning my mom and my dad and even my sister all started going great early on in their life. Well, i started going gray in my 30s and instantly i was like nope. I don't want to be great. You know what colored it and i kept my hair colored until 2016., now in 2016, my mom passed away and when the last couple of months of her life was just a really cool bonding learning experience that i had with my mom. I spent almost every moment with my mom while she just shared just so much i mean we were always close, but she knew that her time was coming, and so it was just basically like a wisdom. Um she just opened up and gave me all her wisdom, and i was really appreciated appreciative of that. So after my mom passed away, i couldn't remember just sitting there thinking to myself going. Oh my gosh women and men who are older in their 80s. You know 70s 80s, 90s, whatever they just have so so so much wisdom to share that we as a society. Sometimes we don't listen to them. We don't listen to them because they're older and i'm like wow. That was a real shame. You know it's a real shame that we don't do this and i kind of was putting together just this correlation of age and wisdom and my mom, and it was all really fresh in my in my psyche, because i had just gone through that experience of losing Her and i remember i'm laying there in bed and i'm like okay well, you know tomorrow, i have to remember, i have to leave work early, i'm gon na go, get my hair cut and i'm going to cover my grays, and that is literally how i put It in my head, i'm going to cover my grays and i'm like that, doesn't feel right that doesn't sound right, wait a minute. What am i doing, and i'm like yeah, i'm covering my grades, i'm hiding who i am i'm hiding the age that i am i'm hiding the wisdom that i have that i've learned in life. I'M hiding that with my grace, i'm i'm just it's. It was the word hiding, i'm hiding that just i couldn't swallow it. I could not get past it, so i'm sitting there and i'm like i don't want to hide. I don't want to hide who i am you know i want to be like you know, in all of my glory and all of my sobriety and all of this life that i had led and i had lived i'm like. I don't want to hide that anymore, but, along with that realization, along with that thought, along with that empowering moment, just came a crazy amount of fear. Now the fear that i was talking about was the fear of going against society's norms. I you know what i was: i've always lived outside of the box. I'Ve always colored outside of the lines. That'S just who i am, but this was a a pretty big huge statement. I was really it was scary. It was a scary thought. It was a scary decision, it was a really big, bold, like f you world, i'm going to show the world who i am and i'm going to be. Okay with it. There are only two people in this entire world. If they tell me something, i stop and listen and those two people are my sons and i decided to talk to each one of them. You know i decided to be like hey, you know what i i'm going to. Let my hair go gray and i did it because not so much that i was looking for their approval. What i was doing more is, i was just kind of just letting them know that i was going to. I was going to go against this standard and i wanted them to know that i was okay. While i was doing it, i didn't want them to think that, after losing my mom, i was going to just go into this big huge spiral of depression. Stop taking care of myself start drinking again, and so i just felt that this was a really. It was a big enough statement that i wanted to check in with them and to let them know why i was doing this, so i sat down with my oldest son and i'm like hey. You know what i think, i'm going to let my hair go gray, waiting for an answer and he's like cool, because i think it's going to look great. He goes do it and i'm like wow that was kind of an easy decision. Well, i'm going to talk to my youngest one now and surely he's going to say something like hmm, i don't know mom, you know you might want to think twice about it. So i called my youngest son and i'm like hey. You know what i'm thinking. I'M going to let my hair go gray and instantly same answer: wow cool. I think it's gon na look great. I think you should it sounds like it's gon na make. You happy i'm here for it. So i was like yes, you know what i got. I got the support of my loved ones, i'm going to just be bold and i'm going to be brave and i'm going to let my hair go gray and i went to my hairdresser and that's where the argument started. So i went to my haircut appointment and i'm i talked to. I was talking to my hairdresser and i was not seeing my barber in san francisco now, who i absolutely love, because he would have been totally okay with it. But i sat down in the salon with my hairdresser and i'm like hey hon, just cut my hair, i'm not going to dye it anymore and i'm going to let my hair go gray and we proceeded to have like a 10 15 minute discussion of me. Trying to convince her that i was going to go gray, you know what i got the whole. I don't know, that's a big step. You know why? Don'T we cover your? You know color your hair. Today, you can think about it. A little bit more. I'M like no, you know what i don't want to think about it. I want to do this. Well, you know what why don't we, you know do this and we can do that. I'M like no. You know what it finally got to the point where i'm like either you're on board or you're, not if you're not on board. With my journey of my self-expression, i'm gon na find somebody else who is you know what i'm not gon na argue with you every step of the way i'm gon na go gray. You know what i won the argument of course, because it's my hair and i can do whatever i want and she cut my hair and i never colored my hair after that. Again, i never colored. I never covered my grays again and it was a really cool journey. It was a really cool journey watching watching my grays grow out, and i learned a lot about myself during my grain. During my grain journey, as i saw my grays coming out, my self-confidence started to grow. I started to grow with every little moving of my gray hair part and it was really cool because i was like yes, this is who i am. I was coming out of this, covering i chopped off my hair, probably a little bit shorter than what i have it right now, but it was mostly gray, and i have to tell you from that moment on. I have never looked back. I have never ever ever once wanted to cover my grays again, if nothing, it's completely the opposite. I just absolutely flourish with my gray hair and it was the best decision i ever made so along my gray hair journey. You know what i told myself from the very beginning. If i didn't like it, i cover it because my hair is my form of self-expression and i can make it any expression i want. I was already preparing. If it was too white, i was going to put lowlights, because i wanted a nice salt and pepper look. I was telling myself that going gray doesn't mean that you can't do fun things with your hair. Going gray doesn't mean it's like well here it is. That'S all i got that's all. I can do so a little story within a story. One time um after i went gray my son and i were up in san francisco and we were on the bart and um a couple of ladies get on the bar. They were a little bit older than i was and they both had gray hair. Now one of them had their gray hair with a big old purple stripe. The other one had her gray, hair, tinged with green, and i remember sitting there and i i absolutely can remember sitting there and i know exactly where they set compared to where i was sitting, and i thought to myself, i'm like wow, you know what i wish. I had the confidence to do that to my gray hair. I wish i could walk around and being so confident that i could be like yeah. I got purple in my hair. So what and looking at where i am today, i'm like it's pretty amazing, because now i have that confidence. I let my gra. I am so confident in my gray that i am confident in my gray and purple hair, and my whole intention of this story is to give you that confidence to give you the same confidence that those ladies gave me the same message without even saying a word. Those ladies made an impact on my life to the point where i'm like. I want that. I want the same moxie i want the same just here. I am that they had and i feel like. I have that, and i want to give this. I want to give that to you, so if this story helps you if this story starts to get you to thinking that wow, you know what maybe i want to do something with my hair. It doesn't necessarily have to be that you're going gray, but if you want to do something with your hair, if you want to change the haircut change the color, if you want to let it go gray, if you want to let it go gray and then dye It green this is my message to you: if that is just your self-expression, if you stop coloring your hair today and you never touch it again, it's not saying you're old, it's not saying you're invisible. It is not saying anything other than that that person right there knows who they are and they're not afraid to show it. So that's it that's the story of my gray hair journey and if you enjoyed today's episode by all means, please hit that like button. If you like, stick around and see what i'm going to talk about next, you can hit subscribe. Now, if you'd like to leave a comment, if you have any questions about, you know my gray hair journey by all means. Please leave that down below if you're out there again and you don't want to let your hair go gray, color it if you're out there and you're thinking it's something you might like just try it. You can always color it later. If you don't like it and um really quick, i really appreciate it. If you follow me on all of my social media platforms down below and until next time, remember wear what you want. Let your hair go gray. If you want - and i will see you on the next episode so one time when i was getting my hair cut with my barber - my amazing barber in san francisco - i said something about my gray hair and he looked at me and he's like you know what Lonnie he goes, you know what the coolest thing about gray hair is, he says, gray. Hair is the one and only color we cannot replicate. We cannot completely replicate gray hair because gray hair is unique to each individual. Every single individual has their own personalized head of gray hair, and you know what, if that doesn't sell you on letting your hair go gray. I don't know what will because i was like cool. Nobody else can ever have this gray hair, but me, and i liked it i like to be that unique. I like to be that um i like to just be me: