Do Black Women Really Hate Their Natural Hair?

Like since, when is self-love attached to your hair, when your hair is just a piece of yourself, why is that it's not your whole song. It'S not your whole self part of you exactly! Hey guys welcome back to our channel ebony and i'm erica, and for this video it's a different type of video, it's kind of like a commentary video. We don't really do these types of videos, but when it fits within our niche, then we'll um kind of react to them and speak on it, yeah. So um yeah again it's a little different, it's kind of like what you'll see in like a podcast type of video um but yeah. We don't have a podcast but anyway uh what i've been seeing a lot recently. I don't know if you've been seeing it either, but a lot of women or i've seen a lot of like women like be honest about their natural hair, hair, they're, tight, yeah, they're, hair, tight and stuff. Like really honest, like yeah. To be honest, this isn't hate or anything, but this is what we've seen or we've noticed, but the natural hair movement just kind of triggered it yeah, because it's like um when the natural hair movement 2017, like three or four years ago, when that happened, everybody went Natural because of what they saw, what they thought natural hair was going to be, and then they realized what it all entailed, what portrayed, what how they portrayed. It wasn't what they thought. It would be right, especially for people with different hair types and everything, and so and textures too. So that became something that was like okay. Well, this isn't what i wanted. So now you see the shift, this wave of the natural hair, hair or straightening treatments or etc. People wearing weaves, basically women, doing what they want to do, and not just sticking to like one way to wear your hair yeah, but anyway, the story that we're gon na touch on uh. This happened like a couple months ago, but i don't know if you all have heard of deja harris she's like the daughter of rapper t.i uh. She had tweeted some. She had like a couple tweets where she expressed how she did not really like her 4c hair um i'll have i'll read those tweets below, but we also have our phones with if y'all see our phones in the pictures, because we've got anyone want to stay on Topic yeah the place to be like a 40 minute video, but yeah we're just trying to keep everything organized but yeah, i'm just going to read the tweets um what she said about her hair okay. So this is what she had to say. I hate to say admit it, but i'm so sad that i have my dad's hair texture, sad because it's so much to deal with slash manage oh sad because i feel like it doesn't fit me. Nor is the texture one. That'S appreciated or uplifted as much as other hair, textures um, and then she goes on to say anytime. I see someone with type 4 hair. I always compliment them because i know how it feels to genuinely not like your hair texture. I never want anyone to feel like that. It looks obama other people, but me yeah. No, i have something to add. We have our points here, but there's something else. I want to add to it and we get oh yeah. Can we finish those pranks, because it's something that she said that was like okay, you're kind of like a light bulb in my head, i'm interested to see what you have to say because you don't even know what i'm going to say yeah anyway, we do have Points here yeah, i do want to dissect the tweet, but basically what i got in the tweet and again, if you don't disagree, if you agree with me, let me know basically what i got from the tweet was that she was talking about manageability, nothing else, but Manageability about her 4c hair yeah, that seems to be the main point. She was driving home, i think so too yeah and it honestly it's it's not anything where she was attacking her her hair type protection. She was just talking about her own experience and how to manage hair but and honestly, to be honest, though, i see honest a lot, but i feel like she expressed what a lot of people were thinking well, yeah, like i said, people were starting to be on Our honest now yeah and she got a lot of attacks which we kind of want to get into the attacks first off. The first attack was the colorist attack yeah, i feel like when we break down the attack yeah. You can see why people see the reason that it's wrong, what she said or what she said was right right, but the colors, the technical ones, like the colors people say like the tweet gave colors vibes and i think because she's like the part yeah, but the Part where it says it doesn't fit me. I wish she had kind of went to detail about that part where she says it doesn't fit me, because when you don't go into detail about something, it's left for interpretation and a lot of people took that as oh you're, light skinned and stuff and natural hair You'Re saying that natural hair doesn't fit you or force your hair to fit light skin, because a lot of people assume that, with weird light skin, you have the i hate to say it. The better grade of hair or the looser grade of hair, which it's not even, that's, not even it when it comes to being my skin, like everybody just because your light skin does not mean you have like a looser texture. There is no such thing as better. Better grade of hair exactly so, i don't know why people even use that term, but i think that's what everybody's mind was yeah and stuff when she said that, because of how she looks yeah i get, and she even said in the comment that you guys are Projecting and stuff like a lot like, that's fine, i honestly don't think that's where she was going. Yes, she is she's right that wasn't. That is a projection. This is what you were doing in their head and stuff. They were thinking, oh because of how they feel within themselves when she said it, they projected that onto her because of what she looked like right. I don't even think i don't think colorism is the like the theme here i feel like she wasn't even mentioning skin tone she was talking about. She didn't even mention this. This is what i feel i feel like. Even if she was darker skinned, she would be saying the same thing and i feel like she would have even gotten a pass for saying it doesn't fit me or something like that, but because she's light-skinned and said that i feel like that's. When the attacks came out, i i'm gon na touch on that. Like i said, that's gon na be my point. I'M gon na touch on why there is an insecurity regarding hair types when we get done with these points right, but again, like the color of your skin. It'S like a homestead. Sorry. The insecurity is valid, like oh yeah, yeah, oh sure, oh yeah, because in the 90s listen everybody was like yeah you'll touch my later, but like back in the day like, i can see why people aren't insecure, because people the way like the good hair this that And the other being passed around and stuff, like the projections are made on people with natural hair. Like i get it, i totally understand because the good grade of hair was used back then right, the term good grade of hair yeah back then, and now, as you know, hair has progressed and stuff. I know a lot of times in some aspects. We always say it's just hair, but there are roots to like valid. You know people feeling a certain way about their hair, like where it is deeply rooted, where it's not just hair. There are some like people getting arguments about how we wear our hair. That'S when i say it's just hair leave it alone. Let'S see the comments we get right so on our channel and stuff. It'S just hair everybody getting all up in arms over how people do their hair or what kind of salon services are offered. Anyway, i'm getting off topic, but when it comes to liking because our hair is so politicized so much, i think that's where i feel like it isn't just hair right, but i just don't feel like this is the the vibe deja was going. Oh, no. I don't think she was giving. The color is fine, you know with it, but i do wish. I gave some it's a little bit detailed. What does it what i mean by it doesn't fit here? I do like i said i think manageability is the theme, but because that part was left up for interpretation and she could have honestly left that part out, but it was left up for interpretation, a lot of people kind of took it that way, yeah. So then the second attack people were saying girl. 4C hair is manageable. What are you talking about? The thing is, that's all relative. It is really like who are you to make that call for her hair and she's thinking about her experience. You can't really say generalize that statement, because for some people, 4c hair isn't mim and that's why i'm really cringing using 4c, some people's hair textures are manageable. That'S why they go to other treatments, relaxers or you know, maybe some other straightening treatments like we mentioned before, like that's all up to them and how they live their life and stuff what they have time to do to their hair. You can't make a blanket statement over somebody's hair and say it is meaningful. What are you talking about? Stop complaining or whatever and stuff, and everything you're putting a bad name on you know our type of hair and stuff. It'S just like. No that girl - probably i don't know how she lives her life yeah, i agree - 4c hair can be managed. However, not all hair texture is the same even for sea hair and the way people manage it. It'S not the same either the way people how people care for it we're building up to my point that i'm going to make we're, go we're hitting the nail net we're coming home with it stay with us stay with us, because there's this point i want to Make so bad after after we go down all the points that we have written down right also, the other side of the spectrum, which i think everything touched on people were saying. Oh, she should learn how to do it like. She should take the time to learn how to manage your hair. Oh, we don't know her life um other than i don't really know that much about deja other than the show uh, t.i and tiny show, because we did what we said right: she's, very private and rightfully so um. So i don't know that much about deja, but who knows that she, maybe she did try just maybe her life, is so busy that she doesn't really have the time or maybe she did and it just didn't work out, um. So yeah we can't really say: oh yeah. You should make the time to learn how to do something like she. Probably i don't know she probably did try. We just don't know so yeah, that's kind of like why we say that natural hair isn't for everyone, which is true. Also. I just want to point out the narrative that 4c hair is difficult and unmanageable came from the natural hair community, obviously from those with 4c hair, so the ones on the message board saying exactly it's hard to take care of they're, the ones honestly, i never. I can't remember when how my hair - i don't even know what kind of time my type of hair i had. All i know is that our mom was just like. I need to relax this because, like it depends like i said it was her our mom's lifestyle. She couldn't deal with our hair. Our hair was just hard to manage at the time and everything could have been manageable. Yes, if my mom had a lot more time, but obviously she was working woman. She couldn't, but we do see a lot of people from the natural hair side, saying that there are certain textures and hair types that are unmanageable. People are saying their own hairs are mandatory right and that's your experience. That'S your experience. If you're unhappy with it kind of change the narrative right, like maybe i don't know a support group, something like that or some sort of like i don't know, because i feel like that's - why i think you're tweeting it to get support or need to get some Pointers, i don't know exactly, could because - and this fight might drive me to the next point, we're about to make so about the argument saying that well, she needs to learn how to do her hair. Well, why don't you guys start a support group for people to manage hair that she has the same hair that she has and stuff like? Instead of saying, you need to learn start a support. Group start a facebook group or something like that or maybe reach our house instead of condemning her and stuff, and everything because, like i feel like the condemning, comes a lot from that community. Instead of trying to help an offer right. The minute somebody says something off-key about like the natural hair community. Like you guys, it's like, they turn you'll turn on each other. Yeah, that's nice! I see it all the time like i see it in the message board. I see it online on on instagram and stuff. You know they got hair famous hair pages and stuff on instagram. I follow those. I see the comments and stuff, and people are just so yeah like just rude when it comes to someone that drives us to our next point, like the natural hair community just gives performance performance. Hypocritical vibes, like you, guys, give like every set like this. You guys give this, what else? Don'T think you guys, i'm going to say not to say you guys so some of the people, some people in the natural hair community, you guys try to get the vibe of uplifting like that, like we're uplifting. But the minute, like i said the minute somebody said something off about natural hair. That'S when you tear down and like degrade like it's like none other. You guys attack each other and stuff. It'S just and there's nothing wrong with constructive criticism, either, because there are ways that people, because - and i know what it's kind of hard coming from our end - to talk about the natural community, but because we're yeah we're not in it. But we are a hair channel. So we're just getting like our perspective on it and stuff, so we're not like any expert or anything, but this is just our perspective, but i get it because natural hair is, you know, looked at picked apart all the time. That'S why i think that's where a lot of insecurity comes from with that and stuff and rightfully so, however, like there was an instance with the hair, vlogger um, what's he named brianna yeah, where she mentioned about her hair and how blessed she was. But honestly, i thought there was nothing wrong with her saying how blessed she was to have her hair. I think the moment it took a nosedive was when she compared it to her mom's hair, and then people were like wait a minute. I have that hair. Oh wait: are you saying that we're not blessed too? I know that wasn't her intention at all. No, i didn't disagree. I feel like her what she said. I look at the video to see it. I looked at the video and i feel like what she was saying, gave us very superior attitude and stuff instead of saying, but i i love my mom's hair, my mom, i'm serious. She didn't say she said my mom's hair this that she even used. The word naps and stuff, i think she gave us a very superior vibe to her her loose texture compared to her mom. That'S what i was saying she compared it to her mom yeah, and so that's where i feel like it took a nose dive. I feel like, but i'm blessed i feel like i feel like she used the wrong words and stuff like when she said that you can appreciate your natural hair and stuff, but and there's nothing wrong with bragging about your hair, because you do do a good job With it, but just don't bring in right, you're not going down other than yeah we're kind of getting off topic. We'Re getting off the topic because we're talking about it. But it's in the same way of people bringing up their texture and stuff and everything. And talking about certain uh, certain textures like hard to manage textures as in foresee, and i say hard to manage because i mean it's all relative but, like you know when it comes to when it comes to like the natural community attacking other people and stuff, i Feel like in that sense stuff like when it comes to like with brittany, not brittany with with brianna's video. I think that's why people are on the defense right um, but yeah. I just feel like sometimes you know actually like when you say like yeah like he said like. Sometimes it's rightfully so, but sometimes i feel like the attacking is unnecessary unnecessary because i feel like sometimes i thought it gives elitist vibes, yeah and sometimes i feel like the natural hair community just wants to cancel someone and just instead like set constructive criticism, because you Know what she said was a little off. She used the different words, so she should have used different words. What i'm trying to say um, but yeah anyway, moving right along. I do like it also with deja's tweet. I do feel like a lot of people who are also attacking her. I kept seeing self-hate she hates herself, and i see this a lot even with us, because we relax our hair. We see this a lot and we touched on this before this is why we're doing this video, because we can kind of relate because it's so pain thing. It'S just really really it's it works it does. It is old and stuff like since, when is self-love attached to your hair, when your hair is just a piece of yourself, why is that? It'S not your whole song. It'S not your whole self part of you exactly like why. Why is it that whenever somebody says something about their hair does something different with their hair? That'S not in the natural room. It'S like you hate yourself. My hair is a piece of myself. It'S not my whole self. Honestly, i thought that whole narrative is almost the opposite of self-love, because if you really love yourself, if your hair, if you feel like you, need to do something with your hair to make your life a lot easier change it up, don't just stick with it, because A certain community is like you need to do this because self-love self-love is, you know, taking care of your hair and maybe choosing certain like treatments to you know kind of help it along. So you don't have to stay natural yeah, then that you need to damage your hair because you don't have to take care of it. Yeah just to say i'm natural, oh hey, i'm natural, just to say that it's very toxic. Let'S talk because saying that just stay natural and stuff and everything that's a very toxic narrative like saying you hate yourself and everything because you aren't natural, you don't have to take care of hair, but just but but stay natural. You know i don't know how to take care of it. Just stay natural and stuff, like i feel like why, wouldn't they change up their hair like if they don't know how to take care of it? That means that they love their self enough to change it and take care of it exactly they know how, so i feel like that. I hate that self-hate thing like yeah, because your hair is tied to who you are, but it's not it's all of who you are exactly and what about and the same people that are behind the screens talking about self-hate this self-hate that are the same ones with Ankle length, like straight hair weave, are the same ones with bbls and same ones with a cups that they have changed to double d's. Like i don't understand right, we are changing up your body. Yes, do you all preach that narrative to those types of people like yeah people who do that like get boob jobs or bbls, nothing wrong with that? I don't. I don't care what you do with your body, but like do you all push that same narrative to them, because i feel like it's, so it's always like pushed toward the hair and stuff, but like the same people behind the screen, support are the keyboard stuff. Are the ones that wear those loose loose wigs, loose, curly, hair? Wigs like i don't care the wig part like it's just i mean that's, not really something you can. I don't know i feel, like the whole part about you know not eating right. Everybody who's preaching natural stuff, i highly doubt y'all y'all, eat, right and stuff and everything i'm not quite sure why they have me, but like the the wigs and weave and stuff and everything do what you got to do with that. But like i don't like to bring way to lead into the conversation talking about that like as far as no i no, i feel like it should come in the conversation, because it's not like that means that, because you're saying that, oh you want straight hair and Stuff, that means you hate yourself or oh, and when you're talking about that yeah but yeah you're wearing like your straight hair, weave and stuff, oh you're, not when people are saying like yeah hair is okay. I missed it. So yeah people think straight hair. You hate yourself, oh well, and the same with bbl's like. Is that not your real? Is that your real butt? No, it's, not your real butt, so yeah. In that sense, that's what i'm talking about, but yeah. Somebody help me understand this, but this all this drives from the point that i really want to make right here, and it is the hair typing system actually shouldn't even really determine like what your hair is. Okay, this is me okay, let me break it down. Okay, so this is guy and andre. Andrew andre walker started a hair typing system back in the 90s. I think he was like a really famous hairstylist um. I think it's oprah's hairstyles anyway. His name is andre. Walker he's the one that started the hair typing system and he did this for marketing purposes, for i think it was a hair care line. So honestly, like this whole, it's almost archaic. The way people are using 3c, 3b, 3, 4a 4b4c, and it's gotten ingrained. It'S gotten ingrained in so many people's heads that they think that this is my hair they're. Talking about. Oh my gosh she's, saying 4c hair, it's not natural wait! This is my hair, like your hair, probably isn't even 4c honestly and it's like not and almost i'm going to say, don't even call it 4c, that's what i'm saying your texture or your hair type or just the way your hair is because right at this point, Everybody has all kinds of types and temperatures in their hair. At this point you know it depends on what you do to your hair. All 4c is the same. It isn't at all, but why is this? The hair type labeling is the labeling that i have an issue with that issue with and i feel like it is very much our cake because it is not it shouldn't be used as something to establish. This is your hair, i feel like it. I feel like it was used to get products that work for your hair or whatever, but at the end of the day, you still need to do what you need to do to find out like what works for your hair and stop using 4b 4c383b as a Way to determine okay, this is my hair. Oh that's not my hair. This is my hair. This is my hair, because that was used only for marketing purposes. That'S it, but it got ingrained and everybody said so when somebody mentions something about 4c hair. That'S when they're, like oh they're, talking about me and stuff and everything so they oh, they hate my hair texture. That'S why there's this insecurity built up because people are are putting these narratives on foresee, hair saying that it's nappy it's! This is that and everything in which i hate that word napping, because now it's just like it's just yeah, stupid and stuff, because everybody associated a shift associates it with 4c hair, but the whole labeling. The labeling system is so with 4a 3b. Whatever itself like. That'S only for marketing purposes that really shouldn't be what you're going through honestly. It should go away not completely because it's good to use it to determine like what kind of products you're you want to use or how to at least jump start your hair care routine. But i think that it's something that people have in their head, that this is their hair and everything when really it's just not that that whole living system is it's not you right that whole honestly. It'S just! I think you should just not. I don't want to say, go away completely, but i think you guys should get it out of your head about that's what your hair. I thought about not what you just said to your point, but i never thought about that. But you want the insecurity and stuff, because people have in their head that this is my hair. They just said something about 3b hair, and that's also why a lot a lot of youtubers can leave people straight. Sometimes, when you especially natural hair, vloggers and stuff they're, like by the way i have 3b hair, this is what you should be doing, blah blah, but really at the end of the day. That'S not! Maybe that's not what you have that type of hair and stuff. So i don't think that it's something that you should really look at as concrete evidence. If that's what your hair is, because it was just used for marketing purposes, only back in the 90s and unfortunately like not all of those hair types were featured were portrayed in. Like youtube videos and like so, we said this before like that's, why a lot of people are going running back to relaxers and all that straight, the hair types were not portrayed and still all the hair types weren't portrayed. As you know, you know this is how you manage this hair with this. No, this is how i do my hair well yeah. This is just how your hair will look right and all the hair types were portrayed. So a lot of people were like. Oh, my hair doesn't look like this, so now they can't they don't know how to do it and they're damaging it in the process, but yeah all in all. I i don't think black women hate their hair. I really don't think so. I don't think they hate their hair. It'S just the manager manager we're not assimilating either right like these european standards and yeah, and they don't keep saying that because that's like old, also deja in her tweet. She does go on to like she said she appreciates 4c hair. She appreciates the the hair type and stuff she doesn't bash it or anything she's. Just seeing what's her experience and stuff and like she does go on and say you know she appreciates when she sees uh women with forcing hair, i do feel like we should start appreciating healthy hair, regardless of the hair type system or whatever appreciate healthy hair. No matter if your hair is natural or relaxed straighten or whatever appreciate healthy hair like let's have health, be like the theme and everything like no matter what state your hair is in like as long as it's healthy. It should be appreciated right instead of saying. Oh, this is 3a hair, get it like this. This is like right and it's like unmanageable, like you can't do this with that blah blah blah like do what you need to do with your hair right and just let it be. If somebody says that, oh i don't like my my natural hair, i do think you have to unpack why they say they don't like their natural hair. Like i said, don't just go with the surface level and attack yeah and tack them. You have to unpack. Why? Because if they say well, if it's because i don't look like other other people, then yeah they do have image issues. But nine times out of ten is because they don't know how to do it and you shouldn't like bash them and degrade them. Because power out like right help, somebody out just be the support system. I don't get why degrading someone is going to help them um, but yeah. That'S kind of all. We have to say about the issue or what they just tweet and everything and we're not also we're not bashing the network. We just seem like some like kind of disturbing things within that community from some people, because there are a lot of people with natural hair that they're really great i've seen really good, like they've, educated other people and they watch our channel we're right. They watch our channel and stuff and everything so like this isn't like we don't. We are not anti-natural theater by the way so yeah. What are your thoughts on deja tweets? We do want to have a conversation in the um comments below just like eddie, and i were kind of having conversations like i said, not your typical video, but we hope you guys like it. We hope to do more of these, but again yeah leave your comments down below, so we can kind of join in on your discussion. You don't have to agree with us if you want to, but just you know kind of be like respect respectful in the comments and stuff, but we can just go with right, which kind of what we're talking about earlier but yeah. Thank you guys for watching and we'll see you guys next week, bye