An Unhinged Ranking Of Disney Princesses' Hair. (Part One)

Huge shout out to my patrons on patreon, if you'd like to be part of the extra super exclusive and deluxe weirdness, make sure you check out the description box and join us there. Thank you so much, let's get into the video hi, i'm danielle. I do too much i like hair, talking, cosplay music, art and stuff hello and welcome to star puppy. I'M danielle resident weirdo welcome to the weirdness princesses hair roasting. Let'S go first, let's set some ground rules, i'm not sticking to the things to the princesses that appear on notebooks, i'm not going by target rules, i'm going rogue. What i consider princess is a leading major character, if not the main character of an entire feature-length film. In the disney universe, let's go oh also, animated we're not we're not getting into the the real life ones. I don't have the wherewithal we'll be going from worst to best number 21 aka worst alice. Alice'S hair is precisely i alice's. Hair is not saying a lot. There'S there's not much to say, but boy does she have smoke for everybody else? I she says it all so her hair has nothing no lines. Background extra. I think it's got like an alright shape, but the the shape language of the actual bangs really bothers me. It'S like look. Okay, let's take a moment, let's really, let's zoom, in okay, on this bang situation, i see that she doesn't have proper cut bangs, but she where's the hairline end. Where does it end where it's like here, alice she's, like 12? Isn'T she i'm like alice? No, what have you been doing? There'S nothing wrong with having a five head. There'S nothing wrong with that, but she's just so mean to everybody. I'M surprised! No one clapped back at her with that. That'S petty and you shouldn't but like if some stranger rolled up on me and started bossing me around, i don't i can't guarantee you, i would be kind. I can't guarantee that next snow, wheat, ee, snow white, we are not talking about personality. I we are talking about hair, okay, i just want. I just want to make that very clear. I talked for like an hour and a half about disney princesses on patreon, that's edited and scripted. There was five hours of footage or three i forget. I was in a few states, not really snow white. Now she and alice accessorized their hair, but i think the pop of red in black hair is much more successful, especially because the shape language of snow white's hair is just so much more successful. I love a bob, bob's are so cute. I love the framing of the face and snow white is such a little apple of a lady. The shape of her hair actually really comments on her personality, who she is. It just suits her. It suits her and it actually, you know the ends, look healthy. That was something else. I had something to say about alice uh. That is what you you got ta i mean both of us need a trim. Let me let me put myself on blast a little. I love the little back roll of her hair. I think uh black hair is my favorite color for hair. So yes, i'm biased ooh, but she's still number 20. So you know i moved because the lights better over here tell me i'm wrong. Number. 19. Raya. The point of reyes hair is not to overshadow anything. The point of rhea as a character is to grow and learn, learn to ask for help, learn to mature, learn to be less bullheaded. It'S not about her hair and i think her design really reflects that, because it's very much so it doesn't really have much of a moment it's much more about the soulfulness of her eyes and the coolness of her dexterity and uh. How accomplished she is as like. I mean a borderline acrobat and warrior and it's a lot more than her hair. Now as far as her hair, i don't really remember a lot about it. I remember it's black, so good point as far as i'm concerned uh, it's got a texture to it, and that is it next. This hurts me. Okay. This hurts me this one hurts this one hurts but um number 18.. It'S my girl, jane! I love jane. I love jane jane and i would be very good homies, given the time period is now put jane, janet jane the hair, the hair is not kidding and since jane is my homie, i understand i put in effort and thought to understanding that she's on an expedition In a different continent uh to which she has never traveled uh, the humidity of which, because jungle uh is very different than what she's accustomed to, which is england, with two dudes as some primates and then another dude, later who's, its own kind of wild animal. And it's just what was what are you supposed to do? Well, i don't know how ladies took care of their hair back then oh wait. Yes, i do. I watched so many this century hair care routines very entertaining yeah. No, that's not gon na hold up in that humidity. Those sock curls, those like rag curls, that's not the jungle laughs at you heartily georgia laughs at me heartily and i have tools. It'S just. You could almost like see the humidity taking out all the body like she gets off the ship. The hair is looking okay and then for the rest of the movie. It'S humidity. I love you jane so much. Oh. That hurt, i feel, like i just roasted my homie now over here in france, my other girl belle is showing she's she's got bell's got two looks: okay, belle's got literal peasant, look and then she's got literal princess look, and these two looks are literally giving you You'Re not ugly you're just broke. Have you all seen those videos i watch a lot of those too. Can you tell you can see the privilege repairing her splittings? I got ta go it's j, i wouldn't, but the pr here's. The problem, though her hair, looks real good at the end of that movie. It'S so voluminous and it's it's full of body and life and it kind of whips around as she's um. What is that? Uh waltzing with uh our beast and it's fabulous? The curls are holding, we are indoors, we have high vaulted ceilings, okay, heat rises. There is no humidity to be seen it's in winter. In france, then curl's going to stay number 16 in a very interesting spot on the list we have rampanzel. Is she french, too european, on the opposite end of the spectrum? Rapunzel'S hair is just fabulous literally from birth. Um well, not birth. You know what i mean go watch rapunzel, it's very good. Mandy moore's voice is glorious. Now, rapunzel's hair is just in a word along. You know that's kind of its whole personality and, for you know most of the film, since she has literally no friends um except a lizard, that's her whole personality and geez louise. Does she take good care of that hair? Oh my gosh. I expand more upon that. In my one and a half hour, video on the subject on patreon, but her hair is well kept. Those ends, especially considering how far away from her they are uh and the fact that i don't think she's allowed to even cut her hair. You would think at the end of all of that hair. There would just be like a mustache carpet. Textured uh, like maybe a foot of ends, but it's super not super together, is giving l'oreal it's giving um skipping protein treatment. I also love love. Love love, love that big, thick french, bread - oh, she might be french. After all. How else would they know when she goes into spoilers her kingdom? Is that have you ever seen it? Yet i don't know, i don't know if that's spoilers anymore, i love it. I love all the all the flowers in it, it's just so pretty number 15, it's so silky and healthy, and she just wears it natural and it's it's. I think she is the first disney princess to have textured natural hair she's, either the first or the second that i can think of the one you might be thinking of we'll get to her we'll get to her we'll get to her we'll get to her. It'S so silky and healthy and she's always on that boat. So it's always like flying in the wind. It'S a big part of her uh, her appearance and her identity, her heritage, her heritage. I can subscribe! I'M sorry! It'S just like i really like it for her and the fact that it's not a big deal that it's textured and that it's a big part of her culture for her to have gorgeous long hair. It'S you know it's understated and it's not like a huge deal and i really like that: uh yeah! That'S why she's so high on the list. Let'S move on number 14 anna, i love anna's hair. I love that it's in just these cute little two pigtails very useful. It'S out of your face. You can actually do things and she's very active, so it makes sense for her, but i really like, i think it's in her right pigtail. It'S that streak from trauma drama i'm smiling because i'm uncomfortable, i think it's a very great uh. It'S actually a really cute color. It'S not like pure white. It'S like giving um like a muted strawberry blonde, and i thought that was a great palette. Uh choice, especially considering her sister's hair, which is a little bit lighter than that color, so it ties them together as sisters. It tags them together as family ties them together in that unfortunate memory, but the fact that she doesn't try to hide it. She incorporates it into her life and into her hair, and it's just there it's part of her and it's actually not hindrance to her at all. She wears it proudly and she doesn't mind it at all. I think that's beautiful and it also looks beautiful. I really like on his hair symbolically and actually next don't be mad number 13 mulan. Now here's the thing: if we were raving animations around hair, this would again be another. It would be a different order. Okay, now that one scene, you know the one where she takes that incredibly sharp sword, it's pretty sharp for not for being in, like disuse, for how old was her daddy, like twitch, he's been out of the military for what like 15 20 years? That'S a sharp knife. What y'all been using that for? I thought it was ceremonial or like decorative like honorary, i don't know, but she took that thing and said crush incredible, but now your hair's gone and it was just in the ping bun not unlike this, but just black. That'S a going to sleep button. That'S a time to fight people, bun and uh. One of those is not very exciting and the other is too exciting for me, number 12 tianta much for the same reasons as mulan uh when she ends up well. First of all, she nope lock it up. If you are a patron - and you know what i just had to lock up, i'm gon na need you to put a frog in the chat. Tiana'S, hair, tiana's, hair tiana's hair is styled in such a way that allows her to be an entrepreneur and at her wedding. So it's in a low pony, okay and then it's in a bun for the party and then it's in a bun for her wedding. It is beautiful, i would love it if her hair was natural, but you got ta remember what the time period is. So i'm, like you know what that yeah, okay, that tracks that i did love the little that she has during her wedding day. I thought that was very cute, but yeah largely she's in similar ranking to milan, because it really isn't a huge part of who she is lock it up. Lock it up. It seems as though we are stuck in the like the the bun canyon, the bunion, i'm not a perfect person. Now cinderella has kind of a similar uh hair arc to belle uh and to tiana um, whereas you know we are giving working, we are giving literal peasant or we are giving um victim of extortion. I guess i'm laughing because i'm uncomfortable cinderella, you know she has that same low pony that tiana does when cinderella gets her money. That bun is really cute. I love like the shape language of cinderella's entire. Look at the ball like the iconic. It looks like uh. It looks like a fish. Does that make sense, it looks like a fish. It has this grace and elegance. I love all the shapes. It looks like a tasty pastry that you want to eat. It accentuates her jawline beautifully. She accessorized with just this simple blue headband. She didn't rely on the length of her hair, she glamorized short hair on a disney princess. I think that's not talked enough about. She doesn't have short hair, but when she needed to uh bewitch a man she was like. Let me hit him with the short hair and i was like yes, but i've had many times in my life uh where i've had short hair. My hair isn't uh short right now, but i like the idea that you can still be so beautiful, so glamorous so eye-catching, bewitching uh with not even ear length hair. She put that thing up. Hello. That'S not, i think, that's an underrated. Look she's a bun champion a bunch in well well, well, editing danielle! Here it turns out that footage, danielle can really talk, and i have run out of time this day to edit and so put on your post notifications. In order to see when part two comes out, you will be very surprised by all the princesses i have selected for the top tier for the final ten of this list. Footage danielle has informed me that we upload on tuesdays please like and subscribe, so you are always early to the weirdness. Here are danielle's, especially footage danielle's patrons on patreon. If you would like to join their ranks and see things like this much earlier and also see them coming much earlier or check out the one and a half hour, video of actually talking about the princesses in full, i would highly suggest you see our patreon. That is all don't forget to like share subscribe. If you enjoyed the video