The Simpsons Episode | Lisa Simpson New Hairstyle Episode [Best Of Simpsons]

Scotland'S shame class. I would like you to meet your new teacher retired air force sergeant. Ms barrera, i carrubba air force, oh woman, because if there's one thing i learn in combat is that the most powerful weapon is knowledge. What'S the second most powerful weapon shoulder mounted anti-tank missile duh? Oh, my god. I'Ve got a cool teacher. What am i doing? I'M sitting up straight. My hands are folded like a nerd. I'Ve got to fix that. Yes ma'am. My name is bart and i just want to say how delighted i am that you're here what the hell. Thank you bart, huh, a neck hate, sober i've only got one beer inside me, not so sober, so drunk i'll eat gas station sushi. Homer, don't forget to pick up milk - oh and not just any milk, healthy milk without any hormones that will be 16, and can i interest you in any uh milk insurance 16. Another case of the rich cow sticking it to the little guy? Okay, don't worry! We are going to get you into a milk today, hmm, how was that milk jimmy boring? Oh now we could engineer a new jimmy who is less of a prout, but we'll just use science to chase things up. We still get the milk from good old-fashioned cows. I'M not the kind of guy advertising works on, but i'll take 20.. No questions asked you're up already, don't want to be late for school. What gibbs boy nothing's going on some days? A boy just wants to look like he's going to church. Okay, i'm the last one to breakfast. Can we please get a move on? I do not want to miss any school. Oh, could this punctual bart possibly be connected to your cute new teacher? Oh, do i have a cute new sexy teacher. I hadn't noticed in fact, to be supportive, i'll drive bart to school. Are you just trying to see how cute the teacher is or how handsome he is marge, not a he right boy. No, and just what are you doing, putting the first new coat of paint on this school in 30 years, it's always good to have a joker in the platoon bart. I am glad that you're trying, but i am worried that you're, starting from a place far behind most students - it's because i am so troubled ma'am. Well, i guess i could see you tuesdays after school. I was wondering if you needed any help pulling your maps. You have to give them a snap, otherwise they just get longer and longer. Oh, my god. He loves her too. No, no! No! No! What happened did jazz die. Look at me, acne, but she's. Only eight i've got a starter stash. Next, i'm a loser. Then i'm a creep, then i'm a perv i've got ta buy a van. This isn't fair, i'm not ready for my awkward years. It must be precocious puberty. It'S a thing. I just read about it in thing magazine, homer i'll fix, lisa up and you teach barth to shave. The cream looks delicious, but don't eat too much, and there see how it's done boy dad. Aren'T you supposed to take the little plastic thing off the blade sweetie? Every kid goes through this: that's why proms are dark. Just stick some carrots in there three times a day. Let me try some makeup cruelty. Free! Oh yes, i'll be very gentle. I actually have two different ptsd's, the kind we combat veterans know and also parent-teacher-student dilemmas. No, oh teacher, could you kiss my owie boy? Owies can only be kissed by willy where's, the owie, i'm fine, i'm fine! Whoa lisa! You look great. Oh my god. I'M popular hope this doesn't go to my head. It went right to my head. You do not have to tutor this boy under the new one child left behind law, but he needs help and he's not going to be a child. Much longer he's got a mustache coming in yeah, so beat it bald lip guys. I need to sharpen my mustaches, which is better a or b a or b a or b a or b b a n homie. It'S time we figure this out. Maybe milk will help us think. How would milk do that? It'S from cows who are smart enough? Not to get turned into hamburger homer, it's the milk. I called you here to gloat yeah yeah. I know about you and pereira, you know about me and carol. You know her name and she has a cat with different color eyes. His name is bowie, no face it. Simpson you can't compete with me. I can rent a car. I brought you some candy carol, not from cvs, not from walgreens from the airport, and i wasn't even going anywhere go mom. Could you please please please stay within the lip liner, sherry terry, i usually don't see double until an hour into the party. It'S going to rain. Okay, all right lisa! You were never popular, so you're playing with the house's money attention party beneath all this makeup. I have problem skin. What are you talking about? Your skin is fine. Really. I will see myself out. You look lonely, i feel baloney. You want to be friends, i do this isn't gon na last long. I still take baths in the sink. Okay. It'S over sorry. Ralph, oh, the plan is perfect. I just have to get skinner to hold still while i slip a firecracker in his butt come on, give it up bart. I realize, what's been going on, we've been operating under the influence of hormones, hey dad. How much does a mustache fairy pay three bucks? When you asked me to go skating, i even really thought you knew how carol he's all yours wow the first war of one carol. All that's left is for you to meet my mother and uh up she skates. Now sorry, seymour, hey, listen want to roast marshmallows i'd like that great man, great you're, buying! Thank you simpson. Well, i guess a lot of women leave their men to go back and serve in afghanistan. No one drives them away like you, seymour