I Stopped Washing Out My Deep Conditioner, and Loved It!

When it comes to taking care of natural hair, I’ve found that the standard rules for everyone else’s hair just don’t work for me. I don’t use shampoo on my hair, instead I engage in water-only washing. I use a clay mask (Bentonite Clay*) on my hair once a month, which removes dirt and product buildup to keep my hair clean.

I use my fingers instead of a comb to maintain and detangle my hair. Pretty much everything I was used to doing while taking care of relaxed hair just went out the door and my hair has never looked better because of it. One of the rules I broke has now become an integral part of my hair regimen.

Somewhere in the beginning of my hair journey, after I fully transitioned, I had found that certain deep conditioning* recipes that I had made were making my curls pop. This was the first time I had ever seen defined curls on my normally frizzy head and as long as the deep conditioner* was in my hair they popped, locked and dropped.

That’s slang for they separated, became defined, and had movement. But like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, as soon as I washed out the deep conditioner after the allotted time, they vanished back into thin, “frizzy” air. It was very depressing. I could see that I had the potential to have these beautiful curls, but I couldn’t figure out why they wouldn’t stay.

So, being the daring person I am, I decided to break the rule of washing out your deep conditioner*. I know, I can hear the gasps from every corner. I’ll admit, I was scared at first, but I figured, what’s the worst that could happen? I was using an all-natural deep conditioner with ingredients that I had whipped up from scratch, and what did I really expect: That my hair was going to all fall out of my head?

The chances of that happening were slim to none since this particular deep conditioner when I applied and finger combed my hair produced almost zero shedding. It also practically disappeared once applied, leaving zero residue and often looked like I had not put anything on my hair at all. Instead, my hair looked revived, moisturized, my curls were swollen, and defined.

This was the best decision I ever made on my natural hair journey. My low porosity hair languished in the joy of taking in the moisturizing treatment for an extended period of time.

I left in in my hair for about two days (it dried after several hours and looked as if I had nothing on my hair). The result was that my hair became a little crunchy (similar to the results after using EcoStyler* Gel), but that when I washed my hair with just water—they curls stayed.

Yes, they stayed, and although they shrank a bit because they did not carry the same weight as they had with the product in my hair, they were there: separated and defined. That’s all I had ever wanted, to know that I had a curl pattern, and chances are you do too.

As I began a routine of doing this I saw better and healthier results each time I washed my hair. My curls exhibited less frizz. This is something that I call “curl training” and involves wearing this moisturizing transparent, hair mask for several days before washing your hair.

What this does is train each of your curls on where they are supposed to clump together and lay. It is something that employ twice a week for at least two days and has produced enviable curls that even my mom and sister think was just “my gift from God”.

This is a typical reaction within our community if your hair is healthier or exhibits traits unlike anyone else’s it means you have that “good hair”. I always remind them that it isn’t about having “good” or “bad” hair, it is about taking the time to care for your hair that you should.

It’s about loving your hair enough to believe that it could be healthier and taking the steps to ensure that it receives what is most needed to produce those results. If I never believed that I could have curls, I would never have taken the leap of faith that day to leave the deep conditioner* in my hair that pretty much changed my hair forever.

The most important thing you have to be is open. All the rules I have broken that have given me amazing results have required that I break rules I never thought I would.

Water-only washing was a big one. Same with the deep conditioning*; but at a certain point in our hair journeys, we all have to take the plunge into unchartered territory to discover what will work best for us.

Our hair is unlike anyone else’s, so why should we think that doing the same thing that everyone else does will produce the same results? Make intelligent decisions about what you try on your hair, see my post on why the maximum hydration method failed for me the second time around, and you will find that with natural hair the key is experimentation that leads to hair discovery.