My Mental State + A Mindset Shift + A New Mini Setup | Ft Arabella Hair

I'M gon na blame y'all because I had to face y'all: that's why my life is not centered right now, all right, so I have on my subscribe. I had to run downstairs very quickly, but then I didn't have to so yeah. We are in the process of putting up my new lights from newer um, so I want to say thank you for newer for sending me some new lights. Um come on. I'M about to fall. You guys aren't familiar with the newer brand. I'Ve been getting their ring lights for years, guys know back in, like 2016, the newer the big circle ring light. They are evolving, so I got a new light. Actually, the light that I already had prior this one right here is actually a newer light that I had purchased. Maybe last year yeah, I got one of these. This was like 80 bucks or whatever she she was doing wonders. Let me turn her on boom, so this is the newer light that I was using before when I was filming my videos when I was sitting over there, we have new lights, so I'm super excited to see what they look like yeah. So this is the light. She'S giving us right now she does I'm telling you she does wonders. So let me finish: setting up the lights and then we're gon na. Do my hair, I'm gon na talk to you guys for a little bit because I feel like I have a lot that I want to talk about um just because I feel like where I'm at right now mentally. I do want to share certain things and just talk to you guys. So, let's finish putting this together because y'all ain't helping me do nothing, I'm over here, struggling y'all, struggling struggling, struggling. I'M super excited because this one has a remote though so these have remotes. So I'm super excited to see what these are giving um. I think this is maybe where you can put a camera and screw it. I don't know, don't quote me, but I'm about to um plug it up. This is the back of it. This looks so like updated high tech compared to the one that I got last year. You can so you can see the difference. This one was battery operated. This one is only I had to put the cord in, and it was so annoying with that battery operated option because the battery would die, and I'm just sitting here talking and the light cuts off that was so annoying, and I love the fact that it lets Me like bend it and stuff too, but I can bend it downward perfect. You know, oh, they need me to. They didn't offer no batteries. Y'All Dios. They didn't offer no batteries newer! Okay, let me go see. If I have some - or let me see, did y'all give me some, no there's no batteries in here. Okay, let me see if I have some do y'all want to know why my God is a good guy, because what I got these, I don't know what I got these for, but I have them because God said: use learning some batteries and I said I know Right, thank you appreciate it. So if y'all gon na order, these lights make sure you got some triple A batteries. Okay, okay! So, let's see what's about to happen, okay, how you turning going hold on okay, so this is on channel eight, and this is on channel seven. Eight okay, perfect whoa whoa, do y'all see how bright she's getting hold on, can y'all see how God can see it hold on. We only and we're only at 57, like I probably can't see I'm trying to help y'all look it's only at 57 percent hold on. I, like my mind, it's like kind of like a white light a little bit so y'all see okay, cool, perfect. Let me just like chalk it into it. 80. 90. We'Re at 100 right now. I feel like y'all, can't see what I can see but girl trust and believe me, this is the brightest. I'Ve never seen this space right here. Oh, I don't feel like Adam just made it somewhere far in life. I need to get a new light newer to y'all, so Miralax. If y'all do can y'all send me one or whoever is watching this video. Please send me some type of mirror light thingamajigger because, like I'll be needing to be up close and personal, you feel me um, okay, so y'all are kind of crooked and I'm trying to see where to put you guys, because let me break you down a little Bit, let me get y'all can get a little closer. Let me tell you I'll get a little closer running so yesterday my car you hold on yesterday my car decided we're gon na go to the gas station and not cut back on. So I had to call my boyfriend to come pick me up. I called the dealership um, you know, that's a towing and all that stuff was complimentary. So when a toe person called me back, he was like um. Could I come get your car tomorrow, sir? I know my car's at the gas station. You can get it right now like he would seem like it was busy. So I'm like I'm like you only caught, because you asked me that for a reason you know like dang he's busy, so my boyfriend comes and he tries a couple times. It'S still not working, and so he finally tries it again while I'm on the phone and it cuts on. But my check engine light is on and I have a fear of driving with a car and if it cuts off on me, while I'm on the highway and someone like yeah um, I don't want that happening to me. So he was like you. Can you know you can drive it to the dealership? I said: can you drive it to the dealership and I'll drive your car yeah? He was like okay go ahead. You can drive my car so he's driving on a tow away straight to the dealership, because the girl that show me my car had called her first, but she wasn't at work, but she texted me told me to do whatever whatever that's my girl um. They didn't even tell me what's wrong with my car or whatever he just gave me a loaner car, and so I just went about my Merry way, but guess, what's in there, my camera and my tripod, it's in my car, so I texted him. I said my car, my my cameras in my car. Please don't damage it. He said, okay I'll make sure they don't. Thank you. So I don't know where to put y'all, because my tripod is with my camera in my car and I don't have my car. I have a loner car and also too I mean I never had a loaner car before, but I was expecting them to give me a car. Give me a truck like because I don't know, I think it's because I have a car. So when I took my car in, I was expecting them to give me another. You know, like maybe another, like an E-class or something of a sedan car, so not a SUV truck like now. Yes, I do want one getting me prepared. That'S what's going on! I'M you know it's getting me prepared for when I get my truck, but it's just like. I wasn't expecting that so yeah I don't know where to put y'all. So I'm trying to figure that out as we speak. So we can see me doing my wig matter of facts. I may just leave you guys right there and I feel it's a weird angle. I don't know where to put y'all, so this is going to do. But so we are, you know my favorite hair company send me some hair Arabella. What Arabella sent me some hair again. This is like my fourth time wearing their wigs and it's like everyone that they send me y'all love. So I'm excited about this one. I feel like they always send me some type of color anyway, but um. This is straight out the pack. I thought it had some curls to it already. So I was like. Maybe I should just comb them out and give it a little layer or something because I was gon na wash the wig just to give me my fresh start, but I'm lazy today, um and I was having a I was. I wasn't having a bad day yesterday. I was just having a day yesterday and so today I just was like. I really don't have the I don't have it in me. Okay, I don't have it because I was even vlogging for y'all. That'S why my camera's in the car I was vlogging for y'all. So that's one delay all right go away: um yeah the knots already look, bleached and stuff. So that's why I wasn't about to bleach the knots or anything like that. They look pretty good to me. So imma, just style Focus I'm gon na just style. The wig on my head and everything because it looks like she had a little: she had a bounce to her. She had a little bounce, so I'm gon na come too crazy, but yeah. Let'S look at the inside, so we have a strap right here. We have. Oh and she doesn't pop off, let me show y'all, I hate the adjustable straps that come off because they'd be coming off. I like that this is sewn on. So that's a plus okay and we have the Clips in the inside. I don't use the clip stuff for this back clip to hold it in, and then I like to um snap this together right here to make it more secure when I put the wig on so I probably don't need it, because she looks a little small anyway. How is y'all day going, that's what I want to know or how is your weekend going. Also, don't ask me about my ball cap: mind your business anyways. If I was really interrupted by the bulkhead, I do have on two different indices as a whole. That'S why some people - just you know it's just best um, just sometimes you know, but let me just frame just lightly lightly, nothing too crazy. Okay, so I think I want to spray the lace of the wig too, because um it's very much white and I don't want to be a bad foreign, not that it's fine, but it will be fine. So, by the time y'all saw this video, the wig is out of my head. The wig is not on my head, no more okay, so not too much on me. It'Ll be different if I was doing like a whole hair tutorial like this, how you supposed to I don't know how you're supposed to do stuff, it's, okay, it's all right, all right! So um! Oh, my God, I feel like I look like somebody's grandma. Oh, my God, we're gon na have to use some dry shampoo because she's giving very much shiny, okay and y'all know I don't do baby hairs, no more so we got ta make make do with it too, because what's today, so today is uh. I said October, it's Sunday November 27th and where I'm at mentally, I just feel so refreshed like every every morning. I wake up. I listen to something motivational. I was something I listened to a good sermon. I mean it's just in great spirits, like especially when I wake up in the morning. I make sure that is my first thing I like to do I like to make sure I wake up and I'm feeling good in the morning. I don't like to feel being negative. Like a thing I just woke up. You know I mean like why am I feeling like this, especially if I just woke up, I should not be feeling any type of negativity when I first wake up. That'S just something. That'S important to me, but um yeah, like my mental, has been I view things way differently now and what I mean by that is like when something happens, quote unquote to me. It'S not happening to me. It'S happening for me and if I ever feel like I'm, just stuck or stagnant it's because it's I'm due for a lesson in that period and I'm like I'm either ignoring it or I'm not understanding. What'S going on so to just sit down and ask God what it is that I'm missing or what it is that I'm supposed to see or whatever um, and also too it just dawned on me recently, how I would always wonder how, like some people had no Real true desire to do certain things, or you know out of life more so, but then I have to realize like yes, everyone has a purpose, but sometimes people haven't been touched by God yet to see their Vision. I have a vision. I see it every day. Faithfully, I see it every day, I'm living in it like I, I I'm in it. So it's like not nothing, I'm there yet, but I see where I'm supposed to be. You know what I mean so it's like. I had to understand that not everyone sees that Vision, so not everyone. Of course. That'S why not? Everyone is driven as you or wants the same things as you, and that is totally fine and it kind of got to a point where you know, of course, because my vision is my vision. So I never pushed down on someone or I never wanted to force. Someone to see what I see, because they can't see it it's for my eyes only, and you know once you understand, like understanding that you do have a purpose now you may not know what that purpose is at that moment, but you will find it will come To you, you will see that vision and when you really walk by faith for me personally, I don't like to say like oh yeah, I have a plan B or plan C or you know a quote-unquote backup plan. I have faith that and whatever is going on, will work or we can go ahead and revise it, but it's still that plan a I'm always going to stick to plan a and revise as many times as I have to just to say, make sure I I At least tried, you can't say something didn't work. If you never even tried or anything in life, you can't say you don't like something and never tried it. You know what I mean so for me. I'M always trying something new and that's why I just never cared more so because, especially me being a businesswoman or you know, I've always like to try new things. It'S never you're not limited to one thing out of this life. You can try whatever you want to try don't feel like. Oh, I can only do this. No, you can try whatever you want to try and you know it's. Never. Oh you're confused. You won't know until you try, I can't say. Oh, I don't like being a um, I don't like selling hair. If I never tried selling hair or you can't say. Oh, I wouldn't like doing this. If you never tried it, you don't know, because you never try and one of the motivational speeches I was listening to. He was saying that everyone has, he was saying, like you, don't want to die with your music still playing and basically what he meant by. That was the music is your purpose. You never found your purpose to stop that music from playing like your music is still playing, and that is because you never try to even get closer to your purpose or executed it just to at least say. Okay. This wasn't for me, let me try something else. You know - and it's just I I do get to a point where I get frustrated with you - know, people that do reach out to me and they just are at ends with like they're just they're, just so over everything, because I don't view life that way. I view life as something a beautiful opportunity and I'm not the wealthiest person on the planet. I don't have everything together. I don't my life is not perfect, but I'm going to always view life as something that's just so beautiful, because a lot of people fight every day, if someone's sick right now, they're fighting to live because they have something to live for life is just so it's So much to life when you really understand that and go and Adventure out meet new people understand what part of life you're in right now and what I come to the understanding for myself is where I'm at right. Now. I am not in the means of making new friends, because you know where I'm at right now and I'm you're gon na always get tired of me here, saying it, but I'm in my execution stage. So I'm in the works of meeting people that we can Elevate together and when you understand sometimes I feel like people put too much pressure on their friends and that's why the friends fall out because y'all have the same interest. So now it's more so you're. Not looking for a friend you're looking for a business partner, someone you can talk to about business or if it's not that you're looking for a friend, so you have to understand the difference. I have my friends, and you know I love my friends and so more so where I'm at now in my life, I want to meet people that can teach me something Mentor me take me under their wing. We work together, that's where I'm at in life. So when you understand where you're at in life, things won't seem so confusing, I'm not confused anymore, like I, I have the vision. I know where I am. I know what I'm supposed to be doing so now. I need to work to get to these steps and when you undress, like I said when you understand that life shouldn't be confusing and that's for anything relationships, whatever you shouldn't have a confused feeling when you're doing anything in life and if you are confused, it's probably Not the best thing to be doing, because everything will be clear for you when it's meant for you. If you get what I'm saying get what I'm saying it's gone, if it's meant for you, you would not. You would not be questioning how you're feeling right now, understanding your emotions sitting and just understanding and listening, sometimes sometimes not always having something to say back just listen, sometimes because you never know what someone else can teach you younger older, whoever don't just put someone to The side because they're younger than you or you just put someone to the side because you feel like they're old and they don't understand, we can all teach each other something so stop just you know getting so defensive when someone's telling you something be more optimistic to Things you just never know and like more so I feel, like you guys, are kind of. I feel like you guys are kind of tilted I'll fix it when I edit, but um yeah, like you know, take advantage of Life tomorrow is never ever promise. You cannot go to bed and just expect to wake up tomorrow. It'S never anything can happen anything and it's never to think about. What'S the worst that can happen, but to just know that you are you and right now today, when you are watching this video. Whatever time you're watching this video, you have time to go, do what it is you need to go. Do you keep pushing it to the side, then I'll? Do it later I'll? Do this later go write it down make sure you know what you need to do. If you're in debt write down all that, you owe and then put it in order as to what can get paid first and make up make your priorities. I'Ve always had my priorities. Of course, you know your place of living your cars who those are priorities right now. I really don't believe in cutting certain things out, because it's like now, I'm suffering and being miserable, not making more money. It'S always about you need more money. Finances is so important and I feel like that play is a huge role in people's. You know everyday mindset because I feel like when you feel like you, don't have the money. You just feel like it's not going to work out, but when I'm, what I'm telling you is, I can personally say I thought that way as well, and it was last year in my videos when I was doing my self-love Journey. You guys remember. I was saying I wanted to be closer with God, so when I take my time and sit down and actually be in silence and talk to God, it's not about the money, it's not about the finances. It'S about you, understanding that things all things will work for. You nothing's happening to you, the victim playing in life like being the victim of your life. You got to cut that out, nothing's happening to you, it's happening for you and when you view it that way, it makes more sense. You lose something for, for example, my car she's in the shop. It didn't happen to me, it's not it had it's something everything happens for a reason. It could be the small. It could be the simplest thing it can be. The simplest thing I don't know and, like I said I want a truck so me something happened into my car made me have to get a loaner and have a truck, and I I want a truck so she's, just getting me um, I'm just getting prepared for My truck like that's just how I do things like, and you know some people probably be stressing right now. Oh my God, my car, I'm fine, like I'm fine, I'm not damaged, I'm not hurt. I wasn't in danger. My car didn't explode. It wasn't smoke into flames. Like it's, I'm fine, like that, didn't happen to me. It happened for me and I'm able to drive in a truck and get myself prepared. I just I just feel, like you know, I'm living the life that I was trying to I'm just living part of the life that I envisioned for myself, and I always talk to my friends and I could stand like. Can God just give me a little taste of it, and this is a little taste of it, I'm getting to drive in a truck I've seen them. I sound so excited, but, like that's what I'm saying like your words are so important. So please watch what you say and be mindful of who you be around as well, make sure they're watching what they say. But people can just speak so negative and be joking quote unquote, but I don't like joking like that words have so much power like I. Don'T like that, I love waking up with in a happy mood. I love waking up. Just knowing like life is just amazing and it's easier said than done because I I've been through it. I'Ve been in those stages where I'm worrying about money or trying to make sure wondering where this is going to come from or wondering. I no longer Wonder I know what's for me and I know it's. What I know is for me will align with me as long as I do my part, I'm I'm doing my part, I'm doing what I can when you can, when you do what you can and you know, because God can't walk you through everything you got to Do stuff on your own, but when I had I had to realize like I was overworking myself, I was giving myself too much credit shut up, sit back as the girls would say you want. A soft life have a soft life of God, not of a man within yourself, like everything, shouldn't have to revolve around a man, and that was something that also that I'd be noticing with people like. Even when I had did my videos with my self-love Journey, people was thinking. It was because I was single and all this stop revolving everything around the man you should want more, for yourself, like you know, like life, is more than a spouse or a partner like it's you. This is your life, like you know, they're characters in your life. You know your story like this is your story. This is your movie and they're just characters in you know yeah, so more. So what I'm saying is at any point at any age it does not matter. You can do anything you want to do. You can give your life to Christ, you can start a new business, you can start school, you can get a new job, don't feel like everything has an age to it and, like start being aware of your surroundings, the people you keep around you. What is their purpose and what I mean by their purpose? Are they a genuine friend? Are they a business partner? Everything in your life should have a purpose to serve you. If it doesn't, it doesn't make sense and it's just dead wait, and I felt that really for me. I just felt like I had a lot of dead weight, whether it's bills that I still use Netflix, but you get what I'm saying like. If it's a bill, I don't need like I say you don't even watch Netflix, that's dead, wait, it's not serving you any purpose! You'Re not using it and it's down to the nitty-gritty like that and that's what I'd be trying to say like when it comes to a mindset shift it's literally the knit the littlest things will shift like it. You got ta, you have to sit down, so I'm saying sit down in some silence when you get a chance. Just really sit in silence, speak to God, say all the things you have on your chest. Just talk just get it out. Just say what you need to say, and he will talk back to you, I'm telling you he will speak back to you, I'm I'm big on signs. Okay, if I see something I'm like! Oh yeah, God just see this we're right here. He heard me this is him all right cool, however, we're all different, but for me yes, I am a sign person, I'm always like. Oh this is this a sign. This is a sign y'all. You can't worry about what other people are gon na, say or think of you like. Oh, she changed whatever, whatever we're not going to stay the same forever. Anyone that wants you to stay the same doesn't want you to grow like don't stay, two years old forever. You know what I mean like growth is super important and I value growth. I love improving myself. I love, I love everything I feel like. I use the word love more than I use. The word hate because I feel well. Hate is a very strong word, but sometimes you know certain things you can create something life is great. I don't care. What'S going on, I don't care. What'S falling apart around me. Life is way too short to stress over something I have no control over and I truly feel like. I was in my resting season the last couple of months, because I'm not the head, I'm not go ahead. No more time to rest now like how I wanted to so I enjoyed it, I'm very grateful for the times that I had to just sit down and really tune in to myself more view. My hobbies and that's another thing us as women. We need some more Hobbies, go get a hobby, I don't care if it's playing The Sims, I don't care. If it's cooking, I don't care. If it's planting, I don't care if it's whatever Pottery find a hobby. So that your mind stimulates your mind with something else. Not always being on social media find a good TV series to watch. Fine do something with yourself, so that for one because I do know like a lot of people, always ask me in regards to like still being yourself while in a relationship, I feel like people make their relationship like their personality. I think, like do y'all, see this mess over here, I'm so mad that it did that. Actually it's okay! It'S all right! I mean it's, not okay, because why did they do that? But it's gon na have to be okay, because we don't have time and I'm only doing two layers of glue - I'm not doing too much, sometimes as women should I say we, but I don't do it so um. I feel like sometimes as women. We can. No I'm gon na say because it's not me, I don't want to speak that remember. I said the words are very much your words have a lot of power. I feel like a lot of women and sometimes make their whole personality of their relationship, and it is not me saying at all to not love your partner, but you have to have a personality outside of that like there's, nothing wrong. To always want to be with your partner or whatever the case may be, but like also too, even if you don't want to hang with other people at least be by yourself. You know what I mean like. If you don't want to hang or you don't have any friends or whatever at least learn how to be by yourself, like I enjoy being by myself, I'm gon na watch, a good TV show, I'm gon na do something I happen to be bored like I enjoy. My peace of mind, like I, don't really care to hang around people. If I have free time I like to be by myself doing something like I don't really yeah, I don't really care to be around people. I, like my peace and quiet so just to understand and find yourself find with me, find yourself find what makes you happy it's not about what makes anybody else happy. Okay, let me try to put this wig on I'm a little nervous, because why did my wiccup just embarrass me like that, like y'all like? Why would you ever do something like this? Just embarrass me in front of my peoples, you know: okay, there we go but yeah. So as a woman, I really do feel like you got ta find a hobby. You got to do something like you can't make everything about that man or the woman. Whoever you're with you have to have your own personality, like you have to have your own interests like I have. I have my own interest and like yes, I love being around my man, I love being with my man back at the end of the day. It'S like you also want to love being with yourself, like you have to love yourself just as much as you love other people. You have to love yourself just as much as you love other people like you really want to just enjoy life. I'M telling y'all I mean in all my little 23 years, um like yeah, I yeah. I was at a point in life where I felt like I just had so much Darkness over me. I had a depression State years ago, like I've been through what I've experienced it and to see now where I'm at the woman I'm becoming the woman. I am like I'm loving it like I'm enjoying it because it means so much to me. I value certain things. Like that, I value my peace. I value my growth so when I see myself growing or just knowing that I'm handling something way different than I would of three years ago or whatever it's so crazy to me like and all this time. Yes, it has been God getting me this far every time, but I always felt like I was just taking so much credit, because I was overworking myself versus enjoying a soft Life of Christ. More so like letting him do everything letting him guide me, and I do the back end versus me always on my head, like I was always so hard on myself and that's what my best friend tells me all the time. She says that I'm I'm always hard on myself and which I can be because I always wanted more. I always wanted better and I felt like who else could win better than not one better for myself. You know, but at the end of the day I have to take a break and that's why I feel like I had a resting season and to really tune in, like I said to what it is. I have interest in. You don't want anyone to take the joy out of something you have a passion for, and I just won't allow that to happen for me because I love Graphics. I love designing. I love brand candy like I just love typography different. I just love it like. That'S. Just something I love, and I don't want it to be ruined for me because of how other people perceive it you get what I'm saying so that's where I'm at I'm gon na use some of this dry shampoos to get this color out. I really like this is a synthetic wig y'all. I really do because look look at her. I don't know. I'M gon na go look at the details, because if this is a synthetic wig, she is not going to last with me because the way I don't take care of wigs and synthetic wigs require too much attention that I don't have. Oh God, I'm trying to calm the girls out, but she's literally trying to fight me, but these are some cute curls. Don'T get me wrong yeah if any of you are just feeling lost or confused or if you feel, if any of you are feeling lost more so sit down in some silence and just you know, speak to your higher power, everybody. Everybody believes in different things, but just sit and just really think about life, and also too I mean I'm not here for any body that just wants to be negative. Just wants to be miserable, like you have no desire and wanting change for yourself, like you aren't my desired audience. I I truly cannot stand miserable people like it's just so draining like how can you just wake up every day and just say? Oh, my to just wake up and hate the world is so crazy to me. Y'All got to be lying to me right now. This part looks a little crooked. Well, it's nothing! We'Re gon na do about it right now. I'M looking at this wig like this part, is not centered I'ma blame y'all because I had to face y'all. That'S why my life is not centered right now, foreign, but this looks great. This looks amazing. Oh my God. It'S really not centered. It is just by a little bit, so that's what's irritating me the most. I think, because it's literally just by a little bit, I just want everybody to just be able to experience life to the fullest, because, like I said tomorrow is not promised, and I don't want anybody to end things off with not being able to reap their true Potential or find what it is, they have a passion for, or you know thank you to everybody that has given me any type of encouraging words to keep pushing, because you never know when it was probably my last time of when I wanted to be here, like You have to fight those urges like it's just when things are going wrong for you, that is literally just the devil. Trying to steer you away and to give up, and when I say, do not give up I've had those thoughts. I'Ve had those issues. I'Ve been to therapy for when I was younger, like I've, I've been I've had those episodes like you have to fight the urge. That'S why I get you know I get in my mood or whatever, when I'm talking to my younger self, because I'm trying to tell her like it's perfectly fine over here sweetie like we're good, like you got ta, do for your younger self, like you're living life Right now for your kids and for your young, if you have children living for your kids and for your younger self make yourself Pro, but for anybody I love to. I do things for internal satisfaction. I like to do things because it makes me feel good. I don't need someone to really tell me or Applause me about something. Oh, my God, I'm a joke. My mental health is super important. So, like I like to make sure I'm doing something that is serving me purpose. My mental health is okay, like I don't need a reward. I don't need praise and when you understand that too, like you don't need certain things like, I think you've used certain things different as well like you're, not doing something because, like oh, I need I'm getting a reward for like you know how as a kid - and I feel like when you praise your children when they do certain things they're doing things only because they want a reward they're, not doing it, because they want to or they're not doing it, because it's the right thing they're doing it because they're getting a praise for It so in life as an adult, you have to understand to do things, because you want to do things because it makes you feel good do things, because it is the right thing like you shouldn't just do things for a reward. You know what I mean like, because that'll suck a lot of things out of you as well, when you're doing things for the sake of others or looking for validation from others. You know what I mean like you got to do things for yourself. It'S your life, like you, can't live for somebody else. I don't care what the parents are talking about. I don't care what the family is talking about. You have to make sure you are doing something you enjoy. Life is too short to be living for somebody else that already had their time to live, or they have their own life to live. I'M just saying I don't believe in doing something for someone else to satisfy them. They didn't live their life and they still got they're still alive. They still got their life to live, but it's just like this is my life. Let me live my life. How I want to live my life because now I'm gon na feel like as I get a little bit older, I'm gon na feel. Like I didn't live my life. I live someone else's life and I don't want to feel like that. I truly don't you, I don't feel like it's fair, because you had your life to live and now you're trying to live through me, foreign to others. It is not your responsibility to to fulfill other people's goals. You have your own goals, your own dreams, my nail just broke off. That'S how that's that's how serious we are right now with this conversation, but yeah. So I have the wig on the curls are giving curls honey. Okay - and I guess I do believe this is a synthetic wig but um - I forgot to put the nail back on y'all know. I love me some press on this is the first one. Actually, so we're just gon na dry. It back up grind it out, with the look Fowler get some glue and pop that bad boy. Back on, I, like the thought I like to share, I just like to give Insight on certain things, because I truly do. I feel like we're deserving of a great life. I don't care what you've been through. I don't care. What'S going on, you are deserving of a great life. You are deserving of whatever it is. You want out of life and when you get that vision and I'm I do feel I feel so bad for people that really don't see a vision like you feel like you, don't have no reason to fight and when I started to view it that way. I really it it made me feel away because I'm like wow, I cannot imagine you know some people like. I can't imagine how I truly and I'm not saying it in a way of okay y'all, so we were just having a great old time. My camera storage, the SD card, was full, so I had to delete some storage. Why I deleted some of the footage that I need in the beginning. So I'm trying to see how yeah I'm not doing all that recovery stuff, so I'm very upset um as to what just transpired - and I feel like y'all - are like kind of like all over the place. Now it's okay, it's not, but it's going to be okay. I have I have no patience today for that, so we're just gon na have to do something else about it, because I feel like this is a synthetic wig. So she's kind of like stressing me out a little bit but she's getting with the girls, is supposed to give honey. Okay, join her she's, not doing a lot for me, like I mean she's not doing too much for me, she's doing perfect, I'm just using the excess makeup I have on this brush to put on the lace. You know: yep, okay, but yeah. So my camera dying. My footage, the SD card, getting full kind of just threw me off, because now my footage is gone and now I got ta figure out how I'm going to edit my baby, but it's okay. I said what I needed to say to you guys or whatever, and I had to do what I had to do. I don't have my tripod, like I just feel like I'm a little bit out of element today, but it's okay, but I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I will be back with another video and hopefully we have some even better news to share with each Other um, because me just right now having to deal with this I may have to I may have to improvise. I don't know I I don't know, but um stay tuned for more videos make sure you guys are subscribed to my channel. If you are a new viewer, I hope you stay to the end and you enjoyed it and you will subscribe, but I'll see you guys in my next video