Overcoming Your Insecurities & Gaining Bada** Confidence + Motivating Convo For My Ladies

hey y'all what's up welcome back to my channel and welcome if you are new i'm your girl julissa chave and today's video is going to be a little different than how i usually do it i've done a couple of these videos before and on my own channel i used to do them a lot and i was like you know what i feel like i need to do these videos again because i really connected to other women who are feeling the same way that i was so of course as you can tell by the title i'm gonna be giving you tips on how to become that girl not even just being that girl because that is like something that's trending but that girl to me means confidence someone who really loves themself and nobody can tell them anything and it's a journey it doesn't happen overnight i used to not be that girl and now that i am that girl i'm able to uplift and motivate other women who are just feeling down and out about themselves who need to be picked up because you are truly worthy of being someone that feels and knows that they are beautiful and i mean that from the bottom of my heart i have not always been this confident and i have people ask me all the time like how did you get so confident like you know where did this attitude come from and it really came from a lot of self-development personal development and just learning who i was as a person and what made me happy and that's more than how i look that's more than you know my makeup and my hair like it literally comes from within i had to go within and what my soul was lacking as well so i wrote down my 10 tips just so that i wouldn't forget anything and i really hope that this helps any woman out there who was feeling just like blah a lot of self-doubt lack of confidence lack of motivation these things are what helps me come out of that place and really deep dive into what i love to do and if you're not waking up happy and you know loving yourself you're not going to love anyone around you even the closest people you love it's going to be hard to love others because you're not loving yourself you're not happy with yourself and what you're doing and how your life is going you know so that radiates and it comes off as negative energy it comes off like don't nobody want to be around that you know and you really just dig yourself like this hole of self-pity and self-doubt so the first tip that i have is find your look find what makes you feel best for me i love doing my hair i love doing my makeup and i love making sure that my nails are done for you that could be putting on a t-shirt and some sweats and you feel your best you feel comfortable so you want to find what your best is like what makes you feel best i went through that in high school when i was going through like just a transformation or transition or leveling up into my womanhood what made me feel best was dressing up and doing my hair and people were asking me all the time like who you dressing up for what you looking good for and it was literally for myself it was to make myself feel good because when i woke up and i i looked good i felt good and i went to school with that good attitude you know so find what fits you best find what helps you feel your best the second one would be daily affirmations and i know this is so cliche you guys with daily affirmations you're literally training your brain to believe the things that you are saying to yourself it's just like a bible scripture i tell myself all the time no weapon formed against me shall prosper like literally not one weapon formed against me shall prosper and i believe that in my heart so it's just like telling yourself i am beautiful i have that on my mirrors i have it all over my vanity like anywhere i look i see that it says i am beautiful and i believe that and i'm beautiful not because of what i'm seeing but because of what i'm feeling i have a good heart i'm compassionate i love you know what i'm saying so affirm your self every day that you are beautiful you are worthy you are worthy of this love you do deserve this and that you know affirm that every day so that your heart can truly believe it number three is change what you can i struggled with this for a while i would always complain about my weight and complain about things that i could change i had the ability to get up and change it if i could we are so stuck in a mind frame that it's like impossible but it's not impossible like if you can get up and change something whether it's your hair color if you can change like how small your lips are to get bigger lips if you can do that change it whether that means getting enhancement surgery if that would make you happy i say go for it because at the end of the day it's going to make you feel your best it's going to make you feel better so if you can change it then do it if you can't change it for example my height i can't change that i'm 5 11. so what i'm going to do instead is embrace it and learn how to love it now when i walk in a room i know people are going to look at me because i'm the tallest in the room at first i used to shrink myself and make myself feel shorter but no i was created to be 5-11 so i'm going to walk around knowing that i'm beautiful as a 511 woman the things that you cannot control you have to learn how to love them and accept them and make them something a part of you that is beautiful don't give it a negative connotation all right number four would be to treat yourself now y'all know when y'all bought a new pair of shoes y'all bought a new outfit it just gives you like this high and you're so excited to put it on when you put it on you like yes like you look good you feel good that is how you should do like very often now i'm not saying splurge and go spend all your money on brand new things if you don't need anything but it is very important that you do treat yourself and go get things a couple of times a month that you know is going to make you feel good something that you really been wanting and you know it's going to make you happy that's what things do if they spark joy that gives you such a natural high and that's why people get addicted honestly to shopping and stuff but if it sparks joy then do that and pamper yourself get your nails done get your hair done buy you an outfit like do that very often now i personally love doing this and i have so many pictures in my phone because of it but i love to take selfies taking selfies you just remind yourself of how beautiful you are like i look at myself all the time on my phone i'm like wow i'm really pretty i'm really beautiful and that's not a conceited thing like you literally have to tell yourself because the world will try to tell you different like there's so much on social media that will beat you up and make you compare yourself to other girls and you're not the skinny and you not this and that that's unhealthy so it's okay to fall in love with yourself it's okay to tell yourself you are pretty dang i look good today like that's okay so you have to take a lot of pictures and selfies even if you don't post them take them for yourself so that one day you can look back and be like oh i looked good this day let me do my hair like that again you know having pictures is just a reminder to me it's like a memory of my evolution of beauty i'm going to be like 45 50 years old looking back at myself he's like dang i looked good when i was 25 you know what i'm saying so pictures and selfies are just something to remind you next we have it's actually a quote and i seen this on facebook it says no one is you and that is your power that is the definition of unique to me unique is everyone everyone is unique we all have our own feelings our own emotions nobody else in this world has the exact dna that we have or it looks exactly like us like i'm not talking about no twin stuff like i'm literally talking about you are you i'm the only jelisa chauvet like there is no other jaleesa chauvet that is me like there's no replica of me so that's my power that is a super power like i'm able to be myself because i'm the only one that can be me so you have to learn how to be yourself and walk in in that knowing that you are unique and there's no one else like you i tell my boyfriend all the time there is no one else like me like you can find another good girl you can find another girl who's confident another girl who do makeup you know who model but you're not gonna find another me and that's literally like there's only one me and i believe that so because i know that i'm able to use that as my power like i'm myself and i don't want to be anyone else so stop comparing yourself to what you are seeing and really learn how to love yourself and know that there's nobody else like you which makes you very unique all right number seven we have another quote and this has been in my mind so often lately walk in the room like god sent you i like i said in the beginning used to walk in a room and belittle myself i would shrink myself to fit the room and you don't stand out when you do that the way i'm able to meet so many people and do so many amazing things with others is because i walk in the room in my confidence i walk in that room like god sent me in the room and when i go to events in la people literally come up to me and they're like you're just so tall and you just like i had this one girl tell me like i just see you like swifting through the room you know i'm saying because i walked in there with grace i walked in there knowing that god sent me in that room and you have to walk in your confidence i learned this on thick house if you haven't seen by the way it's on facebook watch produced by the shade room i have a link down below for you to watch ej told me on that episode one time roll your shoulders back push your girls up and walk tall walk high with your with your head held high and ever since then that is literally how i walk around and do the things that i do on a daily basis that's how i model that's how i do makeup like i walk in that room knowing that god sent me here i'm supposed to be here in this room i am worthy to be in this room so you really have to lift your head up you got to pull your shoulders back and you have to work on your posture and you have to walk knowing who you are if you're walking around slump down your head down and you can't really make eye contact with people that shows the lack of confidence so work on walking tall roll those shoulder bla roll your shoulder back and relax and walk in that room with confidence um this is not to offend anyone or to make anyone feel bad but i suggest that if you don't wear makeup i would suggest trying makeup makeup for me specifically really boosts my confidence i feel beautiful with without it but when i put makeup on i literally can see the enhancement of my beauty like my lips look more plump and my eyes look more bigger you know so try makeup if you don't wear makeup i suggest going to sephora ulta somewhere where they do makeup in your city and have them try some different things you never know like having a little mascara or some lip gloss will change your attitude will change how you feel about yourself makeup is really just an enhancement it's not to change anything about how you look it is to enhance your natural beauty so makeup is definitely something that i would suggest to any woman because it is really life changing and i know that personally because how i feel when i put it on this is not a walk in the park it's not something that happens overnight and it's something that you really have to work on daily you have to work on believing in yourself believing in yourself that gives you the control and power to do anything that you want to do in this world and when i say anything anything nothing is impossible when you believe in yourself i have the most wildest craziest things that i want to do in this world and i know that i'm going to achieve every single one of them because i believe in myself so you have to work on believing in yourself and that ties into everything that i've really already told you to help you boost your confidence when you believe in yourself you believe in everything good around you all right and number 10 this is my biggest one i saved it for last because it is so important do not seek validation from anyone we go around day to day hoping that someone will give us permission to be who we are and literally you are self-sabotaging some people feel like they have to change their self when they walk into a room and that's not how it should be like you should walk in there being who you are authentically you and not worry about what anybody else have to say you really gotta mute out the haters you gotta mute out the no sayers or naysayers and you really have to walk in your truth and you have to be authentically you genuinely you what anybody else feel or think about me is not my problem it's theirs i can't control how people feel and think about me and i guarantee you they don't feel the way i do about myself so when you learn yourself and you grow within yourself you really don't have to seek validation or permission from anybody because you're you and you do as you please you are who you are because you want to be so that's my biggest thing like stop waiting for someone to tell you who to be well you guys that is it for this video i hope that these tips help you if you want to see more like this i definitely will make more videos because there is so much to learn my personal development did not happen overnight i have worked on it for years and now i'm confidently able to do everything that i love to do in confidence because of my journey and my experience of being low and now that i'm out of that place i'm able to shine bright and people see it and it's attractive it's fun to be around and it makes you feel good at the end of the day and that's what really matters is making yourself happy putting yourself first and doing everything that you love to do as always you guys don't forget to subscribe like and comment on this video thank you so much for coming to watch and i'll see you in my next one peace