Trichotillomania | Hair Pulling Hair Care

Is friday um? I have been trying to do this live for about two days now and i'm finally able to do the live um. So first things, first new to my channel go ahead. Hit that subscribe button. Also before you even jump into the chat, go ahead and hit that thumbs up button, and that tells youtube how good my channel is and how well we are doing over here at elite, haircare, usa, all right, so, let's get into it trichotillomania. So many people have no clue, including myself. Up until the other day, i had no clue what trichotillomania meant. I knew what the disorder was, but i did not know the medical term for hair pulling or basically a hair pulling disorder. You could call it a behavioral disorder, you can call it, i'm not going to say disability, but trichotillomania is the medical term for basically hair pulling. Now, when we say hair pulling, we mean those people who pull their hair um for certain things like when they are in stress or dealing with stress um. Sometimes they are pulling their hair out, not even knowing that they're doing it, because it is a coping mechanism. Some people are doing it um in times of extreme anguish or some it's some. It'S so bad that you don't even know that you're doing it until after the fact that you see that you have patches of hair in your hand or on your person or laying around or when you wake up in the morning or something of that nature. So i actually had a client many many many years ago that was um. She had trichotillomania it's something that you actually cannot cure. It'S it's not curable and that's something that i wanted to make awareness of, because um i got a call from a client, a potential client the other day, and this topic is very um sensitive to some people and i'll. Tell you why it's so sensitive um as a hair stylist, which is a cosmetologist, i'm a licensed cosmetologist. I am also a trichologist in the area of trichology. You are not actually supposed to be dealing with clients who have trichotillomania or who are dealing with trichotillomania. I'M going to tell you guys why, but we board certified physicians or board certified therapists. So, even though we have that medical certification, we don't have that md behind our name, nor are we able to treat or diagnose or cure a situation such as trichotillomania. This is a medical situation. This has nothing to do with hair care in its all entirety. Yes, it affects the hair, but the reason behind it is people who are dealing with trichotillomania have a behavioral disorder. It'S not something to physically do with hair care, it's behavior. So it actually has to be handled right via therapy um, i'm not even gon na say your doctor, i mean doctors can prescribe medication that help to ease the cause like antidepressants. Antidepressants is a very big treatment for people who are dealing with trichotillomania because they know that it's coming from somewhere else. It'S not from the hair itself, it's from the person themselves within right, it's mentally within. So it's something that you're doing and not even knowing that you're doing it because you're using it as a coping mechanism for something deeper. So that's the reason why, when the other day when i tried to start when i was trying to do the live - and i was speaking on it - it really requires more therapy than anything else, because me as a licensed hair stylist as a cosmetologist, you come to Me and you say: hey: i have trichotillomania and i want to start taking care of my hair. Well, absolutely i can help you take care of your hair, that's not hard! I can help you take care of your hair, but what is to stop you this afternoon? What is to stop you tomorrow? What is to stop you next week? What is to stop you next thursday? What is to stop you next year from this same behavior that got you to this point so really. A hair stylist is only going to glaze the surface and put what we call lipstick on a pig we're just gon na make it look good, but we can't help you fix the problem. We can't help you change the behavior and that's the reason why specifically people who are dealing with trichotillomania, i don't even recommend hair cutting. I don't even recommend them trying to go and glaze the surface, knowing that, on the back end and on the forefront therapy is the number one thing that's needed and i, as a stylist or a trichologist, cannot come to you and say: are you doing therapy because I can't treat you unless you're doing therapy. That'S illegal. I can't do that. That'S basically saying that i'm telling you i'm literally giving you medical advice like you have to go and get therapy um. This is this. Is this i don't even make those types of um judgment calls so when she called as a hairstylist, you have to know how to differentiate conversations. So the first thing that the client said was hey. Do you do what kinds will check up to mania and i'm like? What'S that, because i didn't know what the medical term was and then she proceed, and i said: is that like a form of alopecia or something, is it something that i need to go and google, because i don't know, is when she went in and she started Naming other things: okay, so do you work with clients with like alopecia um and she tried to kind of like glaze over it, slightly alopecia hair pulling from the moment i heard the word hair pulling. I already knew that is not a client that i per se would recommend for my chair and i'm going to tell you guys why i say this, and this is also going to in turn help those of you that are dealing with trichotillomania aka hair pulling disorder. Okay, if you have a situation where you are literally causing bald patches in your head, you are the cause by literally pulling it out, okay pulling it out. That means that you need to seek behavioral therapy first and if you are not willing to do that, then you really are not willing and able to really say that you care that much about yourself and your hair. So that's number one trichotillomania is not curable. Okay! It'S not something you can cure, it's a behavioral disorder, so what you can do is lessen the effect it is, is trichotillomania one of the things that can lead to alopecia. Absolutely because, as we know, alopecia comes can come in physical trauma or you don't even know. Just genetically that's a genetical genetic trauma right, so medical trauma would be medication that you're the way your hair feels and it's falling out. Physical trauma would be those that are dealing with trichotillomania, or you got into a situation where you got into a fight or or something happened where that hair was forcefully pulled out. Triglycemania falls into the physical realm and the reason why it falls into the physical realm is because you, as the person is physically doing it now, can you doing this lead to non-reversible results, absolutely absolutely because trauma to any part of the hair or scalp. Let me say can last for years or also become scarred and not reversible, so people who are dealing with trichotillomania, i would kind of say more to lean towards getting things like extensions, so i wouldn't say anything that allows you to actually get to the hair. So no braids, because just because you have braids and you have trichotillomania that doesn't mean that you cannot pull those braids out. You still have access to areas that you can pull. Hence the word a braid. It'S a free hanging item. You can pull it. You can take it out, i wouldn't say to start doing, wig wearing because you can literally get under the wig. So if it's a removable wig, is it going to help not really because the wigs are removable? You can literally slide the hand underneath and take it out. The only thing that i would recommend in regard there's two things that i would possibly recommend for anyone dealing with a situation of this nature, bonded in hair, extensions or sewn in hair extensions. And when i say bonded in hair extensions, there's a there's, a form of reinforcement that would be needed for you to even be able to stop you from getting to it. You'D have to use netting or caps so with sew-ins. You can use caps where you you, literally, cannot get into the weaving of that cap, so you can't actually get to your hair. Yes, this becomes a never-ending cycle, but this is the only way in the midst of you getting your therapy and working on yourself and working within your life. If for you to literally not get to that area, bonding services kind of the same thing, because no one is going to literally go and take the track just to get under the glue just to get under the silicone just to get to the hair to pull It out, mario, when you say, ask god for deliverance absolutely absolutely, but that's all a part of your therapy, that's a part of your inner healing. So that's why i'm not going to really go into that, because therapy can be in so many different ways. It can be in spiritual or it can be in medical. So, whichever way you choose to heal yourself or to work with your healing and work with your issue, is your choice? Spiritually, absolutely absolutely there's a there's, definitely such thing as spiritual warfare. So you can definitely include that in there, but i didn't want to really touch into that because it's still a part of therapy, regardless of which way you go right. So let's say a person has been doing this same cycle for 10 plus years and you've done it over and over and over again don't be surprised if your alopecia is non-reversible, don't be surprised if you have a lot, don't be surprised if you have a lot Of fitting, because this particular situation is not something that you can, you you've been able to control until that one day that you woke up and said you know what today is the day that i'm gon na take my life back today is the day that i'm Going to start doing whatever it need, whatever is needed for me to stop this cycle. It'S really cognitive behavior, they call it cognitive, behavioral therapy right and the only people that can offer. This is typically psychiatrists, therapists or psychologists, like i never can understand or differentiate. The two, so don't don't roast me right or you can do it medically through medication and y'all know i'm not big on the medication, but if it works for you, it works for you if it works for you, it works for you, okay, so those are the Um, okay, birdie! I don't stop for animals on the street. I don't do that, but those are some things that you can do to help lessen the effect. But the ultimate big picture here is to deal with whatever you are dealing with and the underlying surface, and i can tell you my client years ago that had this same situation going on her situation was anxiety and stress. She had anxiety to almost any and everything, and she was always stressed out - and i think the stress is of course, what also caused the anxiety, of course, but i, like she literally come to me for me to literally give her a bonding weave so that she Could not get into her hair and in the hair care rom? Is that helping to fix the problem? Not really only thing that is really doing is allowing that area to have a chance of growing back, allowing that area to have a chance to grow back, but is that going to stop you from that behavior? No because once you remove those weaves once you have to wear your hair out, you're going to be just like myself i'll use myself as an example, i don't have trichotillomania, but i have a thing called nail. Biting i've been biting my nails since i was a child. How i cope with my nail biting is i get acrylic nails? I'Ve been getting acrylic nails since middle school because i used to bite my nails so much that it would get sore. I would bite it to the nail bed. That was my thing. Everybody has their thing. Some people smoke some people bite their nails. Some people do all kind of weird other stuff i do nail biting. I can openly say that my children bite their nails. It'S hereditary. It'S been passed down the line, but for me to deal with that nail biting, i get acrylic nails and what i notice is if there is one time that i don't have a nail like right now, this nail fell off. This nail was actually longer than this, and i bit it to this point, so i know that your girl has to go, get her nails done real, quick, real, real, quick or i'm going to end up with no nails, because that is my thing. So i learned how to cope with my situation now. Is that something that requires therapy? No, not really. I can't really get therapy for nail biting you just have to learn to get out of it. Nail biting is just one of those things that you just have to get out of right, but i never really grew out of it. I just learned how to deal with it and what was required for me to allow my nails to grow and not have little. Many hands and that's what i used right. So everybody has their thing, but trichotillomania is a very different situation, because you're causing trauma to an area of your head. That is very different, because i've seen some people who literally pull off the scalp with the hair and their situation is so far gone, that there is really no other fix for this other than medication other than therapy. And i don't want to be that person that has to be the bearer of bad news, but you guys know, i'm very straight to the point and i like to give people the details of how it's given to me. Hairstylist cannot fix this problem. All we can do is glaze the surface and cover it over. That'S it glaze the surface and cover it over cover. The problem, that's all we can do is cover the problem. You are so precious the true servant that is helping the lord's creation. Keep it up. Thank you tiffany. My leave out section broke off. It'S short, okay, okay, that's not what we're talking about today. Growing up my sister had really bad asthma. When she was having an attack, she would pull her hair out. So char, that's a little bit different because at the same time, yes, it could be a form of trichotillomania right, but trichotillomania is direct. It'S not um something! Oh i'm having i'm having a seizure and i pull my hair out. The seizure is, what caused you to pull your hair out the asthma attack. Is you trying to figure out? I need something - not i'm just sitting here and i'm sitting in the car, and i do this or i'm at court and i'm doing this taking out patches of hair looking at it and it feels great and i'm dropping it on the floor or i'm putting it In my pocket or something of that nature, that's very different, so those are two different things i would not say um. That is a situation where it's considered trichotillomania. No, because there's something else, that's in front of that. That'S something else that caused that and i'm not saying you were asking. I just thought that was a very good point. Let'S see who said she did 10 years of therapy and it never helped, and one day she just stopped wow. So grasshopper. Thank you. They said there was a lady on here who said she did 10 years of therapy and it never helped and one day she just stopped. Everybody has a different way. Everybody has a different way. I don't pull my hair out. I don't pull my hair, but i scratch my scalp a lot, even if it doesn't itch. I do too. That'S that's your thing. That'S your way of showing your nervousness. Everybody has their thing, you guys, but this particular situation can be very intense. It can be very bad, it can be, it can be very traumatic, um, a lot of times people who are dealing with situations like this. They wear a lot of wigs. You don't really see their hair um. Why? Because number one some areas might be sore, some areas might be scabby. Some areas might be bald if it's really really really bad. I'Ve seen people go as far as shaving their head so that they couldn't get to the hair, but what people don't understand is even those little stubs of hair. You will take out it's that intense. You will find hair somewhere, even if it's the hair under your arm. You will find the hair to pull it out because it suits you. You don't even know that it's so soothing to you. You just know that it feels great. I have a friend that was pulling her hair out when she and her husband was having issues and she was not talking to anyone about it and she covered it with wigs, absolutely very common, very, very common, very very common. So i just wanted to kind of come and make this video to give a little bit of awareness um to hair pulling it's something. That'S kind of just never talked about it's something that we just don't talk about. Um it's one of those things where we hide it very well. We cover our heads. We cover our emotions, we all wear band-aids on our body all day every day we all wear band-aids and when i say band-aids it don't have to be a physical band-aid. It'S a band-aid. We all do it, no matter what it is. So in some form we all need some therapy right, but it's not as extreme as taking your hair out where you're wearing your hair and now you're. You know what i mean. So it's not to judge anyone. If you are someone that's dealing with this and you just never really knew that. Maybe there was something that you should be doing. Therapy is number one, but like the client that was doing it for 10 years really you're, just trying to the therapy is not to stop the hair pulling. Let me back up. The therapy is not to stop the hair pulling. The therapy is to deal with the underlying condition symptoms, whatever the underlying issues that led you to using your hands to pull your hair out. That'S what the therapy is for. It'S not to stop the hair, pulling it's to create the underlying issue. It'S to treat. What'S underlying that's no different from the alcoholic, that's no different from the drug user therapy is not going to stop you from drinking that alcohol and using the drugs. The therapy is going to treat the underlying issue that causes you to feel like. You need the alcohol and the drugs to treat whatever it is that you're battling on the inside. Let me see crystal: have you tried bitter nail polish used to help stop nail biting? Maybe not because you're a hairdresser that constantly uses your hands, i'm be honest y'all. I don't tried everything i put my hand in poop as a child. I'Ve done it all, i'm i'm i'm. I know where i'm at i am a nail b. I could be watching tv and biting my nails. It is the most awesome thing in the world to me, so i know how it feels. That'S why i'm like i'm, i can talk. I know the feeling i'm just not pulling my hair, i'm just biting my nails, but it's still kind of a form of the same thing, but i'm not dealing with it's not me dealing with underlying trauma issues, things that really lead me to something. I just said i'll literally sit here wow, i have a piece of nail and my life is amazing at that wow and then i'll be the same one, that every time i have acrylics my my goal in life is oh, my gosh. My nail is a centimeter and i'm super excited, but the minute i take the nails off i'm back to square one. My mom's bff in college started when her mom died so tiffany that that makes total sense. I appreciate how you educate us beyond just having a hairstyle. Thank you, mario yeah. Those husbands will literally have listen. Husbands will literally have you choking yourself. Okay, i shut down crystal. I don't talk to anybody, i'm like that too. I'M a quiet person or i'm also a crab where you back me in the corner and eventually i'ma blow up and i'm gon na come out crying and i'm gon na crack everybody is she still doing it? Oh tiffany, i'm not sure deliverance can help and cure. Absolutely pulling your hair biting your nails is the same thing. It'S a nervous condition stress so don't say that please, i'm saying that pulling your hair out. Okay! Let me let me really break this down michelle, so we all have an understanding, because sometimes it's better to listen to understand than to listen to her, but pulling your hair out trichotillomania. Those people who are doing that type of thing can get so extreme that they will pull the scalp off blood hair skin. Okay. Now, if i said that i'm biting my nail and i'm taking the entire nail with it, that is absolutely a traumatic situation. It has nothing to do with the nail biting there's something else that you're dealing with. I don't bite my nails when i'm nervous, just because i bite my nails throughout any portion of the day. I don't care, what's going on, i'm just literally sitting there watching tv and decided that i wanted to bite my nails. Does that mean that i have an underlying issue? Not necessarily that's like the person that has a social drink? Does that mean that you're an alcoholic? No, it's called trauma when you literally can sit there and you're doing something that causes pain if you're doing something that will cause pain to any average person you're causing literal pain, you're bleeding you're, scabbing you're patching. That means that there's something way bigger than what you're doing so. I want to make sure that we're on the same page here, because we're kind of getting it misconstrued. One has this one: has this? Okay, yes, they're all a part of coping, but the reason why this person can literally take pain and do this to themselves because there's something totally bigger that is literally hindering their entire life. That will allow you to put pain to yourself. That'S like taking a hammer and every time you have stress you bash your hand. Does that mean that that's okay? No, that means that there's something way bigger way bigger than that way bigger than that. Now, if i had an issue where i'm actually biting off my entire nail and my nail beds are bleeding sweetheart, i need to seek therapy. I do because that means that i have a very big problem underlying and it only happens at specific times. So there's a difference. There'S people who literally sit here and they're like this and then they go to this because something is happening right then, and there some trigger just happened right then, and there anyhow you, you can't really make everyone understand, but i get it girl, not just nervous condition Or stress, hair, pulling skin picking, nail-biting ocd related conditions, don't know issues depend on the individual, pulling your hair out when um scruffy. If and when i get quiet, while mad watch out that part correct and the thing about it, these persons don't even feel anything. It'S like you're on a high you're numb. Everyone deals with things differently. Absolutely that's why trichotillomania is considered a medical condition. Y'All do know that right. It is a medical condition, a medical condition that requires sometimes medication and that medication. Does anybody really know what that medication is? The first form of medication, for trichotillomania is an antidepressant. It is an antidepressant that means that it's so bad they're dealing with depression and that depression is coming from something else that triggers that part monday. I don't hear you too man, hello, there's my dad, hey dad! Absolutely michelle. You got your point of view and i got mine. Absolutely we're gon na agree to disagree. That'S just how the world works, but i can appreciate your commentary because it definitely gives insight to the conversation tabitha. Yes, it is medical and mental health related and a lot of times we don't want to. We don't want to admit that sometimes therapy is needed. I'Ve talked to a therapist, there were times in life where i was severely depressed last year. I was severely depressed and a lot of you didn't even know that last year i was dealing with so much depression between august and december. You wouldn't even y'all would never have known that i was dealing with so much depression and i had to speak to a therapist. Thank you tiffany. So you never know what people are dealing with. I was dealing with that battle last year. I still have my days. You don't know what people are going through. Some people hide it so well, some people are so good at hiding things. Some people are so good at hiding things and i'm one of them, i'm very good at distracting things. Wow tabitha, that's that's crazy and you're. A therapist so who says that anyone is is, is restricted from anything. My dad said my sister won some medals. Where did i miss that? Oh, i did miss that i'm also a selective reader crystal's sister got two medals yeah. He did send me a picture of that wait. Did he send me a picture? Let me see something i feel like. I got a picture of this. Oh yes, he did. He sent me a picture y'all. Let me show y'all my sister with her too. Let me let me see if i can make this bigger, that's my sister with her two medals. Don'T look at the the car behind her just look at my sister. Okay, all right, good! We'Re there y'all! Don'T look at my dad's car behind her go ahead! Get that car just wow okay therapy can definitely change the outlook of life. It'S not a therapist talk. If not a therapist talk to someone, you trust, absolutely therapy is necessary. Therapy is necessary, and, and sometimes talking to your friends can make it worse. I'M just gon na be very open about that. Talking to your friends can definitely make it worse. Oh yeah, talking to your friends, they will lead you to to do things so sometimes talking to your friends, don't even help you got ta know which friend, oh god, i got to get rid of this number therapist. I know therapist tabitha. I know therapists need therapists because there's no way, you could tell me that you're taking in all that you have to have a spirit of discernment. You have to have a heap of prayer. You have to have a therapist. You have to have so much tabitha, because guess what you all day are taking in so much of people's energy, negative energy abuse trauma. There'S no way. You can tell me that, as a human being, you can cope without you got ta. Have someone to drop your energy into and then that person has someone to drop their energy into and that person has someone to drop their energy to like people don't even know hairstylists, we are like the forefront of people dropping their energy before our therapist. We are the regular person, we are the person. That means really much nothing, but they drop all of their energy into us. You don't know how much energy is poured into a stylish chair and we have to know how to let that go before we walk out of the salon. You'Re right, my cousin had this issue hair pulling for 30 years. She had to get counseling took anti-depression. She was molested and raped she's. Okay, now no more hair pulling absolutely i'm sure. She'S, not 100, okay, but she's learned to be aware of of things, be aware of your triggers, be aware of what you're doing? That'S really all it's doing, because some things cannot be healed. Some things can be covered, some things can be um manipulated, but not all things can literally be healed. There'S things that you've dealt with at the age of five years old that you remember at 35 years old, 40 years old 50 years old. Does it mean that it's gon na lead you to do certain things? No because you've you've learned to be aware and you've learned to deflect you've learned to manipulate you've learned to trick your mind. You'Ve learned all these different things, but at the same time, this is what you're dealing with some people can smile through anything. I know because i do it a lot. I do too but, like i said this, this live was more about trichotillomania um, just giving some insight it's great to have these conversations, because, as african americans, we do not talk about these things, everything is very embarrassing. Everything is super, judgmental um everything is uh girl. That'S not us. We'Re black black people, don't do that. You'Ll. Be surprised, you'll, be surprised. This is why we pass on such generational curses to our children and they pass it on to their children, because we think that we are immune from things just because of our skin color. We think that we don't do certain things just because of our skin color, not knowing that it has nothing to do with that. We just learned how to hide a lot of feeling, because that's what we were taught crystal you're, not our stylist and we are dumping on you. Your thoughts are funny. I'M trying to tell my client to come slightly later. My whole day is like a big gap. You you all right, you guys, so i am going to actually end this live because i don't want to get off topic on this particular live um, i'm going to come right back on, live i'm actually gon na go open up the warehouse and get the day Started i'll be at the warehouse this morning and then i'm going to the salon at noon, so i will come back on live and we will chat and don't forget. Also, today, at noon is the new drop for simply elite um. The jamila collection drops today at noon. Um so be ready. Please just know that just be ready. So if you haven't looked at my youtube post, i actually put a preview of the new drops for today, and that includes studs yeah. All right, you guys i'll, be back on, live in a few minutes, so jump back on peace.