QUESTION:
‘Do you ever come to accept alopecia?’
It’s interesting because there are multiple layers to this particular question.

There’s quite a lot for us each to consider when we think about our own attitude towards, and acceptance of, our alopecia. I’m quite sure we will all be in different places, and my experience and feelings will be different from yours. So what follows is nothing more than an illustration of one particular person’s take on alopecia, given my own individual circumstances, experiences and personal characteristics.

‘In other words,
there’s no reason why you should feel the same way I do –
there are no right answers to these questions!”

Do you wish you had ‘real’ hair?
Not really, no. It would be nice to have amazing, gorgeous natural hair like the girls in the shampoo adverts, but how many people have hair that great? I find the advantages of being able to change style and colour whenever I feel like it outweigh the downsides. And based on what some of my more glamorous 40- and 50-something friends tell me, despite wigs being expensive they still work out cheaper than paying the huge bills to have really good hair as you get older!

Are you happy with the way your wig looks?
Yes, pretty much. I love the rooted colour, and I’m really enjoying having shoulder length blonde hair after many years of shorter darker styles. Maybe the old cliché about blondes having more fun is down to mindset! I could design my ideal wig which would be slightly different to my current one, but it’s pretty close. The improvements I’d make to this one are: a neater lace front (to be honest I just need to trim it back a bit), fully handtied, petite size.

Do you mind talking about alopecia? Do you enjoy talking about alopecia?
I don’t mind at all any more, and blogging for Simply Wigs has played a big part in that as getting more relaxed about it has been a recent change for me. I do now enjoy talking about it, and although I don’t go out of my way to tell people I’m a baldy, I quite happily share that if the subject of hair (or indeed blogging!) comes up in conversation.

Do you feel different because of alopecia? Is that a negative feeling?
A little I suppose. But I enjoy that – I don’t want to be the same as everyone else! Basically I’m a great big show off and I’m quite happy to be asked questions about my ‘differentness’!

Was losing your hair traumatic, and if so have you processed the trauma and moved on?
I was lucky that I lost my hair so young (aged 6) that it wasn’t really traumatic for me although it was much harder for my parents. They handled it brilliantly so I don’t think it had a particularly negative effect on my self-esteem, and it certainly built my resilience from an early age which was great. Mum and I wrote a couple of blogs about those early years: Kids With Hair Loss – What helped me?  & Kids with hairloss – a parent’s perspective

How do people around you react – do they care that you’ve lost your hair?
Heck no! They’re interested, for sure, but I don’t think they find it weird or see me very differently. Work colleagues don’t care because it makes no difference to whether or not I do a good job and they enjoy working with me. Old friends and family have known for years. New friends care about me, not about whether my hair is a little bit more ‘artificial’ than that of another friend who has highlights or extensions.

How would you react if your wig fell off in public?
The only possible way for me – with laughter! I think the trick is this one is to have a sense of the ridiculous and actually feel that it’s funny…if you want to cry but pretend to laugh people will know. It has happened to me and because it was early on a Sunday morning nobody saw, but if they had I’d have giggled, grinned at them, and made some cheeky comment as I put my wig back on. Again, this more relaxed attitude is fairly recent, up until a few years ago that situation would have upset me.

Would you feel comfortable going without a wig in public?
This is the bit I haven’t fully tackled yet. I don’t go out without a wig, not least because my style of dress and make up would look strange with no hair. I would need to pull off a different look to make the no-hair approach work I think. Plus the back of my head is a funny shape so I don’t look as pretty without a wig as some people may. But that said I do intend to start swimming again and am aiming to swim wig-free as it’s a lot easier and also makes it easier to get goggles on tight. I’m still a bit nervous but I can feel the moment approaching! A kind friend has offered to hold my hand the first time, and I’ll probably take him up on that.

Do you enjoy the benefits that come alongside the downsides of alopecia?
Definitely. I love not having to shave, being able to change style as I want, and I even love false eyelashes now I’ve got used to the fiddly little blighters. I wrote an earlier post about this.

So overall do I think acceptance of alopecia is possible, have I accepted mine? Yes, and almost entirely. It’s still work in progress but I feel very comfortable these days.
How do you feel about alopecia?
What degree of acceptance do you feel is achievable for you?

Let me know,
Love
Lizzie
xx