Trust The Process Even When You Think It’s Not Working

We all need motivation sometimes so let me allow Napoleon Hill to tell you a story…

An uncle of R.U. Darby was caught by the “gold fever” in the gold-rush days, and went west to “dig and grow rich.” He had never heard that more gold has been mined from the brains of men than has ever been taken from the earth.

He staked a claim and went to work with pick and shovel. After weeks of labor, he was rewarded by the discovery of the shining ore.

He needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. Quietly, he covered up the mine, retraced his footsteps to his home in Williamsburg, Maryland, told his relatives and a few neighbors of the “strike.”

They got together money for the needed machinery, had it shipped. The uncle and Darby went back to work the mine.

The first car of ore was mined, and shipped to a smelter. The returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! A few more cars of that ore would clear the debts. Then would come the big killing in profits.

Down went the drills! Up went the hopes of Darby and Uncle! Then something happened! The vein of gold ore disappeared! They had come to the end of the rainbow, and the pot of gold was no longer there! They drilled on, desperately trying to pick up the vein again — all to no avail.

Finally, they decided to quit. They sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars, and took the train back home.

The junk man called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project had failed because the owners were not familiar with “fault lines.”

His calculations showed that the vein would be found just three feet from where the Darbys had stopped drilling. That is exactly where it was found!

The junk man took millions of dollars in ore from the mine, because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.

Napoleon Hill wrote the book Think and Grow Rich and in that book he doesn’t give you the exact formula to getting rich but he talks a lot about persistence and being consistent in your efforts.

If you have not read the book, it is a great read and much of the gems found within can be applied to your everyday life. The story quoted above serves as my mantra. Every so often we set goals get excited about achieving them and then things get a little rough and sticky and we start to question if the goal is even worth it.

During the rough times we have two choices, stick it out or give up. Unfortunately many of us give up before the good part.

Just as our health or our financial goals, our hair goals are very important to us girls. And just as any goals we might have in life, sometimes things can get really frustrating when you are not seeing the results quickly.

Whether you want waist length hair or you just want healthy hair, on the occasions that it feels like it will never happen, just trust the process even when you think it’s not working.

Continue To Do The Right Things

Pre pooing, deep conditioning*, trimming, protective styling, transitioning to natural or stretching relaxers, co washing, carry on doing it all with a little fancy stuff thrown in here and there to seal the deal.

You know that you are doing the right things because you are here every day engaging and exchanging ideas about how to take better care of your hair and claiming back the health of your strands from whatever bad practices you used in the past.

Trust the process even though you are not seeing immediate results. We can appreciate that delayed gratification can be really hard because normally if you put in the work you want to see immediate results.

But understand that hair health and growth is linked to a variety of factors which are unique to you despite what blogs and YouTubers may say.

The process is complicated because we are built that way, know that your hair does not just react because you tell it to; it responds to the environment around it, it responds to what you put in your body and it responds to some things that you might not have control over.

All you can do is continue to put in the work and do the right things week after week month after month. Eventually persistence will win over where uncontrollable factors were seemingly against you.

After all, people have walked out hospitals just months after being told by doctors that they will never walk again. All you are trying to do is grow your hair!

There Is No Real Alternative To Giving Up

Think about it, do you have any other choice but to keep chugging along? No honestly think about it, if you give up on your hair then what happens next?

Do you wait until it all falls out? If you are natural does giving up mean getting a relaxer and forgetting about your hair forever? If you are relaxed does it mean slapping on a weave* and never caring for your hair again?

Unless you feel like being bald, caring for yourself and your hair is the best choice for your overall well being. If length is your main goal, then sometimes we need to accept the fact that for some of us our hair grows slowly so it follows that we will need to exercise as much patience as possible.

Avoid Hair Practices That Encourage Rapid Progression

Length checks can be great if you are a fast grower but sometimes they can downright suck if you are not. A length check is a prime example of a hair practice that can often create a false sense of defeat when you do not see the results you are hoping for.

If you are doing length checks monthly and from month to month you don’t notice a change, don’t get discouraged and give up, just stop doing length checks for a while!

Do something that encourages persistence like a protective styling challenge, or coconut oil* challenge or anything takes your mind off of anything negative and steers it in the direction of your goal.

On the flip side of things, if you have a setback, it really isn’t the end of the world, setbacks are opportunities to learn and know what your hair can and cannot tolerate. It is simply part of the process.

Walk Away From Your Hair

Alma shared with me once that when she is feeling frustrated with her hair, she puts it in a protective style until she misses it again and it really does work!

But do not walk away from it in an unhealthy manner. Do something with it that will still contribute to your goals and give you peace of mind as well. Oh and it helps to get a fly protective style, because it really makes you feel better when you see that you look great!

Other times it helps to just walk away for a minute to gather yourself and get some perspective. So what you are suffering from a bit of protein overload? Taking some time out will allow you to do your research and you will find out that this problem is easily fixable.

The point is just keep at it. It would only be appropriate to end this post with a quote from Calvin Coolidge:

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

So, with that said, stay persistent with your goals, keep your eye on the prize and do not give up. There is a pot of gold on the other side, we promise.

What do you do when you are feeling blue about your hair?