Is Natural Hair Helping Or Hurting Black Women Today?

Let’s face it, the idea or the perception in the world about black women is clear; we are strong, mouthy, angry, and loud. We are difficult to get along with which results in many Black men choosing to turn their backs on us as their choices for a girlfriend or wife. Do I agree with that notion of us?  HECK NO!

It’s shallow to assume any type of woman is easily categorized with the same attributes based on such a stereotypical point of view.

Other than the majority of us being discriminated against because of the color of our skin, we are very different. Can I be loud? Yes. Am I loud 24/7? No. Can I be angry? Yes. Am I angry 24/7? No. You see where I’m going with this?

Any woman can be angry, loud, mouthy as well as difficult but somehow we have been labeled with these negative qualities. As if black women don’t have enough to deal with, we are being singled out because we choose to wear our natural hair.

You can almost feel the pressure of it like a threat hanging over your head, “change or else”; you will stand out, you will not be accepted by us, you won’t be fit for that promotion, you can’t go to school here. The message it communicates is that our natural hair is an offense, so is natural hair helping or hurting black women today?

This gives way to an even deeper question; what is the purpose of all the talk about embracing diversity, if there is still a concerted effort in effect to force conformity on us? Some of the steps to get us to subscribe to the “sameness” of the standards of Eurasian beauty are so glaring while others are a bit more subtle.

Workplace Woes

It is almost like being caught between a rock and a hard place and often that is where many of us find ourselves in the workplace. Taking up for yourself should be understood but if you do it, you may be labeled one of those all too often used labels listed above. I remember when I was working for a state agency how I was made to feel my natural hair was not up to par.

I primarily wore my hair in a wash and go style back then (like now) but the couple of times I wore it straight a co-worker made a point to comment on how wonderful my hair looked. She even went so far as to say it was more ‘professional’. Whaaaat? Yea, she said that with a straight face and yes, that person was in a supervisory position.

Stand up for yourself in a case like this and guess who gets the wrong end of the stick? I am not a fan of others feeling the need to tell me what is professional or not with my hair. Clothing? Yes, you may have a valid point there, but my hair? To me that is crossing the line.

Weighing in on The Ol’ Plantation Mentality

I am about to get deep for a minute. I am one of those women that thinks some white people feel less threatened by our attempts to buy into their standards of beauty;  straighter hair, less African features, and even lighter skin. Now, I did say SOME so stay with me for a minute.

The mainstream media, society – whatever you want to call them – has made most of us believe that the only true representation of beauty is the European standard of beauty. That “beauty” translates to being skinny, white or light skinned and having long straight flowing hair. Do I buy into this? No, not even a little but many do and because of that, there is a real resistance to black women wearing their hair naturally.

Now before you go off on me, let me say that not every black woman who wears her hair straight or relaxed is buying into that beauty standard. Many just want their hair that way and while there is nothing wrong with that, I am sorry but there are plenty of us believing long straight hair is way more beautiful than kinky* coily hair.

Couple that with many whites and even many of our own black men feeling the same way and you can see why some naturals feel attacked; attacked for wearing our hair in its natural state as we did when we were kids. Why should I be labeled as a “hot mess” when I choose to make a public appearance with my hair in its natural state?

Waiting To Exhale

In addition – speaking of kids – who else is tired of hearing how schools are trying to ban natural hair (see here and here) for various reasons? It’s not just natural hair mind you, but natural black or afrocentric hair, that has been under fire. Just this week a poor little girl was facing expulsion for wearing her big beautiful natural hair at school because the administration saw it as a distraction.

SERIOUSLY? A distraction for being YOURSELF? If I didn’t know better I’d say that’s an excuse to stick it to us. Essentially, afros and locs are on the list of “distracting and unprofessional” styles. I can only imagine that soon more of our much loved styles will be added. At what point will the line be drawn though? Will we have to wait with bated breaths until they succeed at bullying us into submission?

This is just one story-line in a long line of instances where our differences were rejected. In some cases it took news media exposure and countless naturals writing or calling in, and threatening lawsuits before the schools’ administrations backed off and reluctantly acknowledged the need to embrace our diversity.

However, these results do  not signify an acceptance of the natural hair but rather a strategic move to quell the uproar the situation generates because it hurts their organization publicly.

We are being attacked for being ourselves, for wearing our hair in it’s natural state. Embracing natural hair has been an affirming experience for some. It has resulted in some of us leading healthier lives, and even in mending gaps in emotional development, since once where our natural texture was seen as a badge of shame, it may now be seen as a beautiful part of our heritage; a sense of belonging. For some, that is empowering.

I myself and others choose to eliminate chemicals that alter the hair and some have issues with this. I have a real problem with this and I hope that whether you are relaxed or natural you do too. Perhaps the case against our naturalness is mounted because it makes us seem less subservient, but we need to be asking ourselves why there is a need for others to erase the things about us that make us the unique and diverse set of people we are.

Setting The Record Straight

How I choose to wear my hair is not indicative of my level of intelligence, my competence to do my job, my ability to find a mate nor does it breach “the unwritten laws of beauty”. At the end of the day, what’s in my head should be more important than what is on my head, the quality of my work should be the basis of the criteria for the standard of professionalism and a man has his preferences.

Diversity is a word that gets thrown around quite a bit these days but it seems more of a figurehead; devoid of any true power or potency. Judging from the reactions from society, diversity is not an accepted concept, since many just say it but their actions depict the total opposite of what it implies.

Diversity sounds real good on a TV commercial for a company that wants your business but if you are telling Sabrina, Tanya or Sharkisha she needs to tame her hair then you know that word is merely for show.

So I ask you Naturals… is Natural hair helping or hurting black women today?