Lets Talk About It |Grwm| Q&A My Dating Mistakes, Big Red Flags The Fixer Upper, Dating Potential

Make sure that when you're dating somebody that they could afford their life, like my therapist literally told me like I did way too much in my 30s, like I can't be living room, a situation until I'm 50, like all right guys. So we are back today with what I promised you guys, which was a chit chat, get ready with me video. So obviously, I'm gon na just get right into this video because I feel like an intro is just like so unnecessary. It'S going to take too long and we just got to get this done, so I did go ahead and do my brows off camera just because brows take way too long and ain't. Nobody got time for that and I did go ahead and color correct as well. So the unit that I have on guys, you guys, will see this unit and uh video coming up this weekend. I believe it is, if you guys don't know by now, I am actually leaving in five days. I will be going to uh Thailand, a Singapore, Krabby, Phuket and Phuket. So four places um. If you guys know I do my traveling, I um this one was actually planned or booked through affordable world. If you guys remember, I went to Thailand in 2018, so this is really nice, though guys, since I'm going through this whole kind of New Life healing Journey type of situation. So the best part about this is I'm getting a second chance at Thailand again and going there with people that I love and people that love me. So this is like a great experience to have it to get to relive it again, because I went with my ex before so the fact that this trip was planned just within this. It was planned like this year, but with everything that has occurred in the last month or so um. It'S just so crazy that this trip is coming up and I feel like I'm about to get like. You know a redo of Thailand, a redo of the experience and stuff like that. So it's very exciting a lot to do guys. I have so much to do this here. Video, like I said I would try to get this hair video up on the weekend, and this unit is from herevv.com it's a very, very nice unit, guys um, hair Vivi. This is like my first time really working with this company this year and um. I actually like the quality. A lot of these hair companies are literally stepping it up as far as it comes to this kind of HD lace and this clear lace and a lot of these units are super glueless AF, two guys. So that's one thing. I really really like about a lot of these upgraded units. I know sometimes you guys um, don't want to spend that type of money, but if you like, look at the companies like wow African RPG, show wigs myfirstwigs.com here VV. These companies have like upscale units that are already styled colored, and the lace is already like, hdaf and stuff like that. So you really don't have to you know what I mean do too much, especially if you don't know how to do wigs because, like if you order from like Ali Pearl, you know Eunice they'll, send you like a good stock. Quick, like they'll. Do the stuff to the wig, but it's not going to be the wig, is not gon na be like. You still have to put some work, but the ones from like wow African myfirstwigs.com. You don't have to put any work in and you get a beautiful styled unit, so I definitely would recommend you guys look into some of these companies. You guys will see this here video up soon, but I had to mention that, because I know somebody's gon na ask me so like I was saying I am doing really good guys, um, I'm in a good mood. I'M actually just doing. I went straight into the shadow because ain't nobody got time for that, so I just did like a glitter and I'm just doing kind of like a face powder over in the crease area, just to kind of blend things out, I'm doing really good guys. I have a therapy session um tomorrow. I have my therapy sessions every Wednesday. Now I'm gon na have to take a little bit of a break while my trip I just want to enjoy the trip and not have to like, really be doing like appointment stuff. Since I have them every Wednesday, but when I get back, I'm gon na have one like the same week, so I'm gon na schedule that appointment for like the same week I get back just so I can kind of like de-stress and stuff like that, like I Was saying, therapy has definitely been a very great thing for me. It'S definitely very eye-opening and just making me see a lot of things like. I cannot, like my therapist literally told me like I did way too much. She was like to me, you did more than enough than that you could for someone it's time for you to just move along like, and this was the first conversation I had with my therapist, and it was just kind of like okay and I'm not saying I Did I needed I kind of felt like I needed the conference? I absolutely needed the confirmation from her but just hearing someone else say other than me talking to myself in my head, saying you better get out you better, go like you better, you know do what you got to do. It was just like confirmed to me, like the decision that I made to get out of this situation was the right decision, and I knew it was the right decision. I guess it's my attachment style or whatever it is that caused me to want to stay in something, and I think it's because I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you guys already. I have an empath type of Personality like I really really like care and I feel for people um, and I feel like a lot of the times in the situation that I was in. I was given too many sad SOB stories and my empath ass just wanted to show love to show real, genuine love, to show love that the person claimed that they have an experience, and you know or a claim. You know, because they're telling you all these sad stories and if you're an empath you're gon na, really feel bad for this person, and I I literally feel like I was constantly manipulated with sad stories about this and that why this isn't working out and, like I Said with my empathic soul, I was sitting there like. Oh my God, I got ta be there for this person um, and that also is bad, because you'll start making excuses for the behaviors that people do and you'll start saying to yourself. Um they're only doing this because they're going through something you don't go through something for six years of your life with somebody, you don't go through stuff. You know what I'm saying like as a certain level at a certain time. You'D have to really get it together. You feel me so it's always. This is manipulation. Tactics like a lot of people with like personality disorders, narcissistic, personality disorder and just like people that dealt with trauma childhood trauma stuff like that they will use types of manipulative tactics to get. People to you know, basically manipulate people into getting what they want and, like it's so crazy. Like I love my therapist when I first talked to her, and I was telling her about my experience and what I was going through um, obviously off the back, I'm off the bat I'm like you know I was emotionally abused like I have like you know, emotional, But he's a little bit of trauma and grief. You know everyone's gon na grieve someone, even if the situation wasn't the greatest situation for your mental health. You'Re still going to remember some of the things you did with the person. You'Re gon na still remember the person, but the thing about it is with me. I know someone left a comment and the comment was like: oh, it's only been like two weeks girl. You might want to take this down because you might take him back. One thing about me - and I said this is the Capricorn thing. I know a lot of people you know, could pick up that Vibe once I you only have one chance with me once once you mess that up, you're, never getting another chance with me and once I've gotten to a Breaking Point like there's. No turning back. For me, like, there is no return. I could have left this a long time ago which I should have, but there was always something that was keeping me there in my empathic Soul, guys that just I'll just stay you know just give him a chance. You know that kind of stuff, so I kind of yo-yo that one along a lot and as a Capricorn we'll give you chances we're going to stick it out and give you chances. But your time is limited. Your time is limited, so the time was limited and, like I said this didn't have to be a crazy big blow up type of breakup. It was just I was done and that's just what it is, and you know therapy has really shown me that my decision making skills you know are improving. You know, they've improved like me. Putting myself first is just showing me that you you're you're right where you need to be at you, stay on this like Journey this healing Journey, and you will really really get to the maximal level like she's uh it's. This is my I'm going on my fourth session tomorrow and on my third session. She was actually like telling me how she's like really impressed that, like I'm really pushing through it, I feel like. I was really in this sad phase in the beginning, like crying, very sad and stuff like that. But now I'm not gon na lie, I'm in the face right now they call it. What do you call it? What do they call narcissistic I'll put it in there for you guys something type of um kind of like moment, like I'm kind of like in the reflecting moment, right now, rumination. I think that's what it's called I'm in the reflecting moment. Right now in the kind of little angry moment, because I keep looking back at certain things and then just getting mad all over again, because now I can see it for what it is. So it's just making me wan na you know just I'm just upset. You know so to go ahead and do my eyelashes and my top liner off camera. So I got the ion Supreme lashes and this one is the style, Elena, very, very cute. These are a dollar 25 at the Dollar Tree and I also use the LA Colors liquid eyeliner, and this one is in black dot. I think this was like a dollar guys, and this was a dollar, so everything on my eyes, except the eyeshadow palette, the eyeshadow palette that I got the colors from, is actually um the warrior palette by Juvia's place. I got glue and stuff on there but yeah. I use the Warriors palette for kind of like the eyeshadow colors on my eye, so the lashes were affordable and the eyeliner is Affordable. The only thing about the eyeliner, though you got ta, let it kind of like dry up because it will kind of fall down. So that's why I do my eyes first, especially I'm going to use eyeliner just because I don't want us to dip down here. I want it to dry up a little bit, so I'm going to go ahead and use my Nars foundation and the color. I still have to swell so I'll squeeze. This is the soft matte foundation in the color New Caledonia. I'M gon na hop into these questions because I feel, like I'm already flapping my gums, so this question goes: did you know he wasn't on your level and fell in love with his potential? I know as a Capricorn uh, our our fixer uppers. We see what we um can be and make it our mission to get it um, okay, so the way I'm going to explain this to you guys and anyone, that's in my situation. I want you guys to like listen to what I'm saying right. So I'm at my ex in 2016., I was out at a club, one of the popular Club in New York City. You wanna, what is it Taj? Is it Taj? I forgot what it is is it I don't know one of those kind of popular. You know. Hip-Hop clubs or whatever and I met him and I left outside, so look at it now, so you guys you're saying: did you know he was on your level? So in the beginning, when I met him, I was working um as an LP and I had multiple jobs. That time I worked like maybe three, four jobs, just because I wasn't really doing anything um. I had free time on my hand, to you, know, work and make money who's not going to want to do that right. So that's what I was doing around that time. So um we were kind of like on the same level at that point, because we he had a regular job like a regular. You know nine to five job and I had you know just a regular job, two eight hours a day. Sometimes I would do different jobs and I work like doubles. I work one place and then I work like a few hours and do like a med pass, so we were both like right here right, so we both started right here and throughout the six years. You would think that both would kind of Glide up together on the ladder you know because you're growing with Summer, especially if you're in like 26, 27 or whatever, and you meet somebody and you guys committed to be in a relationship with each other. I still got my hand I like this, because stupid y'all committed to be in a relationship with each other. So at one point you would think right because it's called growth right. You think, like you're gon na grow with somebody in a relationship, so you would think that the together, the latter would climb up together like this. For me, I just started scaling up. I started getting moving up so in my my my whole look of this is that I I think I may have seen I overlooked what it was. I think I was trying to like. I said I was kind. I was giving a story, and I wanted to show genuine love. I wanted to. You know build something with somebody that I liked you know, and that's always a part of Love bombing too, that people need to pay attention to some people will love you up in the beginning and then they'll kind of pulled away from you and they're only doing That to you in the beginning, to trap you so that they can lock you in which happened to me. I got locked in when I should have left a long time ago, so I think I was looking at like okay, what this could be without seeing what it was from the start, because I'm gon na say this. If I were to meet this person today in 2022, I would never speak to this person. He wouldn't even be able to come up to me and ask me for my number and I'm being completely honest with you, guys, look at that. Think about that right. Now the person that you're dating, if you, if you weren't dating them and you met them right now, would you talk to that person and my answer for you is how to the no I wouldn't so that is all I had to say to myself and I Said that to myself a few times before the like initial, like the whole breakup situation, I said to myself bro if you met this dude today. If you walked outside of that club today - and you saw this guy, would you be talking to this guy? Would you give this guy the time of day? Would you entertain this guy for another six years from now being me, 31 years old, would I entertain this guy for six years? No, and that's all you need to ask yourself, that's all that's! That'S all I needed. That'S literally all I needed to ask myself that day and I and I really said yo, then what are you doing so the moral of the story for you, ladies out, there that are dating date, the person for who they are right. Now I don't know what type of Disney fairy tales that the Millennials were watching the millennial boys were watching, because I couldn't store that we watch all the same Disney fairy tale movies together, but I'm starting to see that a lot of the men nowadays, the millennial Men that are grown nowadays, I think that they were more attracted to the princess role instead of the male role in the movies, because how come the message never got through for them, but us Millennial, girls. That saw these fairy tales where the girl got the guy and he was Prince, Charming and stuff like that. How come we got that message, but these dudes didn't get the prince charming message. It is just like so weird to me, but hey the Millennials got screwed. I honestly feel like I was very um immature when it came to the dating field um. I dated someone prior to getting in this relationship and I really should have just you know just been doing my own thing. I'Ve been minding my business um, but you know it is what it is um, I'm not. I don't feel like I'm an amateur at dating because I mean I've had my fear of shared dating people, but I just feel like, as far as like a long-term relationship. I was just very immature. I was in a long-term relationship before this dude and it just didn't work out. So I don't know why even I should have just and like I said there were so many red flags in the beginning of the relationship that I should have just left in the beginning. So the moral of the story is don't date. Somebody for the potential which you think it may be, there is no fairy tales whatever is given to you or whatever you see in the beginning, that is who that person's gon na be, and that also makes me think about red flags even on the first date. Look at how they dress on the first day, look what they took you on the first day: look if they had to ask you for suggestions or if they couldn't come up with it by themselves. You know what I'm saying like think about stuff, like that, when you go on a first date, do they plan the day? How do they come dress up? Do they come dressed up like a bum or do they put? They dress down to their best, like it's just a lot of red flags that I should have seen, But back then I was so immature at the dating game. I definitely think Tick Tock and all these types of platforms where people are just educating people on you know. You know just stuff like this, because this is stuff that a lot of Millennials sorry to say, even though I'm part of the millennial group we just weren't giving those skills, we just had no idea based off of our parents that just stayed in these terrible relationships And didn't leave, we had nothing to kind of learn off, but we just basically got thrown to the wolves and have to figure this out by ourselves so now being in this generation where we are all sharing our feelings and sharing our experiences, it has helped so Much on just knowing like we got ta set boundaries that low down dirty trash type of behavior is not accepted over here anymore, and we're not gon na put up with it anymore, like I'd rather be by myself than be dealing with kind of bulls. You know from people you feel me, so I definitely think that social media has definitely helped that out, but, like I said to you guys date, the person for what they are right now do not start dreaming about how they could be a good dad if they're They'Re not showing that they will be a good dad now. They'Re, not gon na, be a good dad if they're not even coming around. Why would you think they'll be around for you when other situations comes up, they're, not whoever they are, they are trash bag. Bandit? Will always be a trash bag Bandit like period people, don't change people the way they present themselves, the behaviors that they do the things that they say the way that they move, that's who they are and another major thing. I want to point out to you guys, the friends and the company that they keep is a direct reflection of who they are trust, all right guys. Let'S move on to the next question, I got ta bake, real quick. I can't talk and bake. At the same time, because you know that'll be a real big mess, so this next question goes: how old were you when you left to live your on your own and was it hard at first technically I'm living with my boyfriend, but it's a family home. I feel like I'm ready to get my own place um now. Oh wow, okay, your own place! Okay! So let me go ahead and hash this out to you. So I lived at my house until I was like 27 guys now in the Caribbean household. I don't know I feel like this is to me, in my opinion, is smart, um, Caribbean parents? They really don't care. My mom didn't care. My mom was like whatever I was still paying, rent at the house. So as long as I was paying my portion of the rent, it was cool and let me tell you something about that. At 27 years old, I had already saved up like 40 Grand staying at my house, just like working as an LP and just work. Work work go home, sleep work, work, work like I was, I saved so much money doing that and it was okay to stay at the house because I was paying the rent. I was paying bills, so it was what it was. So I ended up, which was a big mistake. I'Ll tell you guys now I ended up moving to New York and I moved in with my ex, which was a huge mistake. Now I should have never done that and I don't recommend that anyone do that. Like straight off the bat just move somewhere um, even though um before I moved in uh the person I was dating before had a roommate situation, and I'm gon na mention this to you guys just for my girls out there going not to date, people make sure That, when you're dating somebody that they could afford their life, make sure that the person can afford their life and I mean afford their life, afford their car their house. Their insurance pay their bills on time, take care of themselves and go to the doctors, make their own appointments. Uh eat and you know, have food have good stuff. When you go to their bathroom check to see what type of products they have in their bathroom check to see, if they're buying quality soaps, good toothpaste, toothbrush, make sure how you know they carry themselves in the way that their home is situating. That would be the biggest red flag number one, and if you pay attention to that in the beginning, then you'll know that this person, probably is not the person for you and, like I said, do not day for potential day for what you see right now, because That person is who they are so, like I said in the beginning, I he was uh had a roommate situation. Then we moved in together, which, like I said, is a big mistake. Don'T do it because in my head, because I've already lived at the house of my house with my family, I knew how to kind of manage stuff. So I knew because you know like you grow, I just it's, so I don't know what it is it. So maybe it's a female Instinct. I know how to run a house like. I know how to take care of things, how to wash dishes wash clothes. Sweet mom do all that kind of stuff. I can do that, but the thing about moving in with somebody or living with somebody is that there are two different opinions on Lifestyles now, if you're dating someone - and you guys don't have the same moral compass or you guys, don't have the same standard of living. Things are going to clash, regardless of their standard of living is the right way, who might know maybe their ways the right way and, at the same time, when you're dealing with people that are they're always going to be right about their the way that they do Things so it's going to be an uphill battle, so that's also something like I said: do not move in with somebody right away make sure you know this person make sure you examine their lifestyle prior to you, moving in with somebody or living with somebody. I wish that I would have lived by myself in the beginning, but I like the fact now that I am by myself now and I'm able to manage and that's another thing. I want to bring up to you guys when you're in toxic relationships make sure you guys have everything in order. You never want to get left by somebody and have nothing to fall back on, because that it's not a good feeling. So I'm happy that I had things for myself. I have my own car. I have this apartment, that's under my name. I have things that belong to me. So, regardless, if I get dropped or I get left or whatever it is, I'm gon na be good. No matter what so make sure you guys protect yourself, because that these on these streets nowadays, women are getting drop like flies and getting left to hold the bag. So, like I said to you, guys, be careful with stuff like that, make sure y'all got your own. Okay, so as far as moving in with somebody, I would not do that. I would definitely move it back move out. I would even if you've never lived by yourself, you should always live by yourself first before just moving in with somebody. So you know how your standard of living is, and then you know how their standard of living is, because you can't change somebody who's, not like you like. This is see I'll, say this dating for potential. Just because you dated someone that was a slob, you met them and they were a slob just because you're dating them doesn't mean you could just snap your finger and transfer them from being a slob into being a clean, kept person. It doesn't work that way. So, whatever type of person you got that's the person you got like it's you're gon na have more you're gon na have a hard time trying to change this person from being a slob. If they are a slob - and you know so, if you date somebody - and they can't even keep up their house if they can't even afford their own life bro most likely, if you're gon na help them get that lifestyle and get that they will never ever do It for themselves so guys live on your own. It'S not a scary experience. I'Ve been living by myself for the last two years anyways because there was a there was a you know: a separation from the house. You know so I was I've been by myself for a while, so I kind of adapted to - and I love that because now me living like completely by myself when I'm alone now not lonely um, it's easy. It'S a breeze to me. You know I enjoy myself. I don't have to wait for anybody stay up at night waiting for somebody to come home. I don't have to do any of that stuff. I just live my life and do what I want. I cook my meals. I watch my moves and yes I'll laugh occasionally to myself here and there in the house, because I'm by myself, but I just I'm free, I'm at peace. I enjoy the silence, um and stuff like that. So I definitely recommend to you guys that you guys just do your own thing first and then make sure you guys examine the people that you're dating see how see if they can take care of their own life. Remember I said that make sure they can take care of their own, my battery's, about to die. Why so, let me go ahead and add some color back into my face and go through these questions. I feel like I talked a lot. I feel like I'm giving a lot of you know like real tea. If you guys follow me on tick tock on Tick Tock, I'm definitely you know giving story times and stuff like that, so you guys can go ahead and interact with me on my Tick Tock. It'S a good place over on Tick Tock. For me, I feel like Tick. Tock is more of my flap and my gums type of Zone, and I love that because I can express myself and, like I said, other people that are dealing with the same type of stuff that I I'm dealing with or the things that I dealt with they're Over on Tick Tock as well too, so it's kind of like a small community which I really really like well big Community, but you know so it's a really good place over there. So I'm just put a little bit of bronzer powder around here. So the next question: let me see my phone just like closed on me. So the next question goes: will you stay in New York or will you move to a different state for new beginnings, so I have a lease here. That'S up in May. So obviously once May comes, I am going to be out of here. Y'All know I don't like to stay places too long, and I think maybe my time in New York City is coming to an end and I think I'm gon na go somewhere. Maybe I'm not sure yet somewhere, that's a little bit more Sunny stay away from a little bit, get away from the snow a little bit. So that's kind of like what I'm thinking, but I'm not sure yet, because I could possibly want to purchase a home or something like that um. You know up I'm in in Connecticut, so I said, I've never say up north and I don't know why I was about to say up north. That was so weird, so I do want to purchase a home. So I'm thinking I have options now, I'm not sure, but I definitely would like to live in another state for like a year or two and see how I like it there. I'M thinking about um Texas as well too, maybe Dallas, I'm not sure yet. So I'm trying to figure it out. I mean it's nothing's gon na get more expensive than New York City, because New York City other than La so, if I decide to move to LA but New York City is pretty up there with the rest of these places. So it's not really like I'm paying, I mean. Obviously, if I go to like you know some place that paid nothing. You feel me so that would be good. Also. I want to mention one of my subbies sent me her sweet cheeks palette. I'Ve been using your products just to let you know by the way, if you um didn't know I'll be using your blushes. I use your blush all the time, so every picture that you see with my little pink red or orange nose is your blush palette. Thank you so much her colors look really pretty guys. They look like this, and I've been just going at this one, the big apricot color and a little bit of the tangerine and I've been using those on. I love a nice like full blushy face it's like my jam, so yeah so, like I said to you guys, I don't know where I'm gon na move, yet I'm not sure what I'm gon na do, but I'm looking into places I'm definitely I don't I'm. Like 50 50 with staying in New York, I'm not sure if I'm gon na stay in New York and honestly I mean I've had enough time here like I feel like, even though I didn't get to have the experiences that I wanted out here, because you know It'S just not what I got um, I feel like I'm this year. I'M definitely gon na give myself all the things that, like the little fun things that I wanted to do, so that's the part that I'm really excited about. But I feel, like my chapter here, is probably over I'm still an East Coast girl anyways, because I'm from Connecticut, so it's the same thing like it's the driveway and I feel like as far as me coming to visit, where I just come visit New York. If I want to come, do something stay at a hotel at night and that's about it, but I think my journey with New York City might be coming to an end soon and that's all right. Like I had a fun time here, I had some good memories and you know it's just time to move on to somewhere else uh. I like I said I want to go somewhere, that's just warmer, I'm about sick and tired of the damn snow and the cold. Like it's been raining for the last four days and your girl is just over it, it's just like really over it, so I would like to go somewhere else. That is, you know, warm warm and sunny Changed by environment change, the dudes that's around, so I could find me her husband. You feel me so um yeah and let me know, where's the dudes with all the single childless. What is sing, where are all the single childless men in their 30s? Okay y'all, see that okay, I'm almost done. I got ta um get my lip stuff together. So this is what the hair looks like guys, so I'm gon na go ahead and do my lips. I'M gon na do the last question. I cannot, for the life of me, found my dark brown pencil, so I'm gon na use black just to outline the outside, so you guys can see that now, I'm using the Charlotte Tilbury pillow talk - and this is the third color talk. Three, the intense color guys run, the color is so pretty it's like a brown color. You guys can see that. Look at that. Hmm, you probably need to do a center gloss that I am look at that. So it's like a pretty kind of like chocolatey brown color mixed with the black on the edges, just to kind of really blow my lips out. So the last question that was asked was from Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, Yvonne, and she asked the whole series of questions. So she was like: when will you start your nursing career and the other one was? Is your journey still on track to purchasing your home? So I answer the home one first, like I said just previously in the last question, I really wanted to buy a house. Um and I'm not gon na lie to you guys, it kind of felt, like my relationship, was prohibiting me from moving forward with that. I should have bought a house years ago because I already met like my um. I have like a separate, like account for like things that I want to do like big Pro big things out of big purchases, so I've already met the goal for the purchase for the house. Like the goal I wanted so um, I should have done it a while ago, but I never did it and I kind of feel like I didn't do it because, like I said, I realized that the person I was dating wasn't on that same level. He wasn't ready for stuff like that, and it started to frustrate me a lot because it's like how much longer are you gon na do this like, and then that should have just chilled me like he's not ever going to want to do that and honestly, no Shade no tea for the people that live in New York, I'm from Connecticut, so I'm from the suburbs. So for me it's different like and you're just even if you move like the people that move into the city move here temporarily, not for a long stay. If you're from Connecticut, you just know that you know it kind of goes like you know, you're gon na buy a house or something like that, but I feel like sometimes people in New York City are just like, because it is hard out here and you're living Check by check, you know and you're not really getting past that, but you can actually take that income and go somewhere else and make a killing and buy a house. So it's like, I kind of felt, like almost kind of like, like I needed, to stay and struggle here which I'm not struggling. But I don't want to spend this type of money living here when I can live somewhere else and have a mansion for the price that I'm paying here. You know what I'm saying so I always felt like that. I had was, like you know, any person that was riding with me or somebody that really wanted to be with me. Would kind of you know start talking about those types of things, especially if you've been living here for years and you're, not you're, not able to live comfortably? You can't afford your life here, so why would you want to stay here and I kind of just I started to see a shift that I was moving to a direction of home ownership and some people still wanted to stay in the roommate situation. Type of living - and I can't do that for the rest of my life, I'm in my 30s, like I can't be living room, a situation until I'm 50 like you're, never going to own anything, you're, never going to have anything like that's just not the life that I was looking for for myself, so this worked out perfectly for me now to go ahead and move forward and do those types of things that I wanted and I'm gon na I'm not gon na lie to you guys. I felt like I was being held back from doing from purchasing my home, so all right guys, so the camera already almost died, so I'm just going in and putting some of the gloss on top of this one right here. So this lip gloss is looking lip gloss, so this lip gloss is so juicy from colourpops, and this is the color Beechwood and it's just like a nice um like thick lip gloss. You guys see that it just makes the lips look like really bubbly and fat. Even though my lips are probably big already and I'm just gon na go in with my spiked toffee from NYX, which is a really really pretty color guys and I'm just gon na go around the edges a little bit just to soften off the dark Edge that I did so mmm look at this guys yep, so that's been kind of like my lip combination. It'S just like very. I have darker lips, so I don't like, like light pouty lips, I, like kind of like mauvy kind of like berryish kind of lip. So hopefully you guys like this one definitely check out. I got the mini travel size of the Charlotte Tilbury. It'S very good. I get the number three intense one. It looks so nice on darker tone and if you want kind of like more of a boldy kind of lip and I love a dark gloss, look I feel, like the dark gloss. Look is mmm, I'm tired. So the last question Yvonne asked me was about um going to work as a nurse, so I'm not gon na lie to you guys. I'M super comfortable, doing what I'm doing like being a lifestyle influencer just being able to be creative and make money. Um. Honestly, I've been doing this like full time for the last five years, and my income has been really really good and I feel like with this one I mean nursing is cool. You definitely make six figures as an RN like, depending on your specialty, depending how many hours you work depending on stuff, like that, even in New York City, like Aaron's, makes six figures off the rib, but the thing about it is like. I rather like make six figures guys and just chill and be creative and do what I got ta. Do it's definitely a really nice thing to have options like options, but if I could take the easier option now, then I would just rock out the easier option. Not saying that it's easier to be a content creator, because it's not like I've been doing it for a while. So I kind of have like this in me in the routine, but when you first start off, you're gon na be nervous as you're. Not gon na know how to do this, but things all work out. You know you're off you'll figure it out either way, but I feel like I'm just more comfortable doing this, just because I've been doing it full time for the last five years, and it's just it's easier than having to like get up. Do 12-hour shifts. Do three of those and then, like you know, just be stressed out from work and stuff like that? I mean in the future, be something nicer too, especially when I want to like you know, get married, have a family and stuff like that. It'Ll be nice to kind of settle back a little bit and just get a real job after a while. But for now, and even if I honestly, if I was able to rock this influencing thing out for as long as I can, I would even have children. Be pregnant doing this because it's just a great lucrative career like you, can do this and be making paint guys just being yourself and, like you know, now me being a single girl, navigating this life and this new journey. I think that for me it just you know it's just something that I'm documenting my change, I'm documenting my life, and this is just a great time to kind of take this moment and record it. You know, remember it and then just look back and say damn. I really came this far. So that's another thing I love about this is that these are all memories like. I always remember when I had a moment in my life when I was influential and I don't know it's a good feeling, I don't know all my other girls, anybody out there. That'S an influencer there's this feeling like remember when you were then when it first started, because social media popped off like crazy right now, but I was there in the beginning, like yo, a lot of us were there before it was even popping on these streets, like That so a lot of us, if you don't want to look at it this way, a lot of us set the milestone for other people or set the stepping stones for other people, and that's nice, like it's so crazy, like even though like now in this um. As a social media influencer I get stopped on the streets. I got stopped walking down the block my block over here, my block, this girl stops and goes yeah. I love all the workers and I'm like bro, I'm NE on my black guys like come on. It'S so crazy now how people will recognize you and just off of your content, but I've been following for years, and I get this a lot and it's just that's one thing I would never take for granted this experience in this career, this career path that I Chose even if it's not forever and it's temporary, this was one of the best decisions I made as far as nursing goals. I will go back, but I think I'm gon na more focus on just going back to school, because I love the education aspect of it. So next year in 2023 definitely expect to see another degree from me. So I'm probably going to do an online program um, and you know just to keep my time preoccupied instead of just being on Tick, Tock and stuff, like that and just doing other things that um, I don't need to be doing, I could focus on something greater: Invest in myself and just invest in another degree, try to up my education just so that I can get myself up a little bit. It would be nice to be a nurse anesthetist that'll, be a great career um, so trying to figure out now, especially with this platform. My platform right here has just been at this point. I feel like it's just turning into more of a just new Dom type of life. I don't know what I'm doing with this channel yet. But it's just more of me now just trying to figure this out and I kind of need to start figuring out what I want to do as far as my nursing career. So that's like the next step that I'm gon na start formulating a plan on like which career path. I want to go with it like how far I want to go with the degrees and stuff like that so yeah. So that was basically it guys um. The look came out, fabulous, pretty usual, so fabulous and you guys know the hair is always going to give. What it needs to give y'all can see those little layers, but you got ta wait for this hair video, which will be up on Saturday but very, very cute, guys and battery's about to die on this camera too. So, hopefully, you guys enjoyed okay, okay, all right! So if you guys enjoyed today's q, a I'll do another one. If you guys want to go ahead and leave your questions, go ahead and ask me some more stuff like we can get into it. Now it's a free talking Zone. It'S not that deep! So go ahead and leave some questions Down Below in this video, so you can go ahead and do some q a kind of checkups every month I'll be nice. I can check up with you guys and tell you guys how I'm doing, even though you guys watch the Vlogs but just have a personal sit down. Checkup go ahead and leave some q a questions in this video guys and I'm not gon na end. This one off with this song today, just because it's a different vibe, it's a different move but I'll catch. You guys later bye,