Sad Reality Of Marriages In The Uk | Why African Marriages Are Breaking Up |2023 New Wig Junoda Hair

Hey guys welcome back to my channel, my name is Melissa otsi and, if you're new on this channel, you know what to do. Please kindly like this video subscribe to my channel and click the Bell so that whenever I post new content on this channel for my life, you're really very fast to find out, I feel like this. My intro is becoming so boring. That'S why I'm laughing anyway, you guys, how are you guys doing? Wow 2022 is about coming to an end like it has been an awesome year. I don't know about you, but for me I mean some of you already know that I had my twins this year and that alone is my biggest biggest Miracle ever like. Oh, my goodness, when I look at them, I feel so happy. I feel so blessed like this. Here has just been so awesome and then, when it comes to my YouTube career, I started this year with about 5k or 6K subscribers, and while you guys here, we have 20 whooping kids subscribers now bees I mean 20 000 people know that there is somebody called Melissa oti, I mean that alone is very, very satisfying and Joy, giving like, I feel so, excited about it, but yeah, of course, thank you guys so much for your support. I owe you guys, so it was just relax when I blow anyway. People put this on this channel. I know that anytime Melissa shows up on makeup. Then some serious business is going on. You guys know that yeah makeup we are like what's apart, because I don't even know how to make up, but you guys said do I look? Show me the comment section: if you love my look, and you want to see me appear like this more often in 2023, we are setting goals and we must achieve those goals. Today'S content and like I was just thinking the other day why our marriage is breaking up, I mean generally everywhere it was a safe relationship even last longer than marriage. These days I mean there are some popular footballers that they've been with their girlfriends for so many years, they've engaged their girlfriend. These ladies, have give me better like four or five kids inside that their relationship, but okay walk down the eye with these. Ladies, that have given you kits now story: no, they prefer to just keep these. Ladies in their home, with the fiance title and not wife, title is it that they are scared of married and I'm not willing to judge them, because if you look around, people are just breaking up in here, but yeah. If you live in the UK, you would definitely agree with me that you must have encountered one or two persons. That will say. Oh my ex-wife or my step, kids like it's so common divorce is so common in this Society. So today we're going to be discussing why marriages are breaking up left right center in the obodoibo in the UK. Before I go on, this video is sponsored by Juno da wig, so they sent me this this week, which of course, I'm going to be unboxing and styling with you guys. You people know that from time to time I get to style wigs for you, people we are trying. The ministry is moving when this packaging came. I was like wow. This looks so cute, I'm not going to let go of this packaging at all. As a matter of fact, I'm going to fold it back and give it somewhere, because this is beautiful. This is really really really really nice. I love it now. This is the Wii, so it comes with a little package. I love it when brands are so thoughtful, too gives us things like this. Now this is a little brush. This is cute and I love purple, and this is a hair clip and then it comes with lashes, a wake up and then Seafood, hair band, and now my people, our hair, this hair is softy wow. You guys this hair is so soft. Now guys. This is Peruvian body wave wig 4x4 closure, which you can see, and I love that it's got a natural hairline really nice. So I love when wigs come with this comb that you can literally use to just you know, clip the wig so that I can stay firm on your head. Sorry, like wow guys, I haven't even done anything to this hair yet and you can tell that the hair is so beautiful. I normally buy hair from Nigeria, but as it stands now with this kind of lushness, I think you know that wig is going to be my hair plug right now, because this is so beautiful, so guys I've been able to create a center part seriously. I'M not I'm not an expert when it comes to styling help, I'm just gon na try, so you guys should not start judging me, because I don't work in a salon except I've never worked in a salon before so you guys when it comes to marriage in India, I feel, like some women, know that their rights are protected, like, for instance, back home. When it comes to domestic violence, most men tend to get away with it sadly like when a man beats up your wife and then the wife runs to um police station and all that they barely arrest the man they just say. Oh, take the Mata to Elders. It'S a family matter, I don't know when Nigerian police do that, but when it comes to the UK eh I say police will help you to buy markets, in fact, as if that's the kind of thing that they're even looking for. I remember very well when I was pregnant anytime. I have appointments with my midwife. They always ask if um your husband is supportive and if there's anything you want to talk about. It'S already asked the question. I can't remember the exact word they use, but they don't just come after it. Does anybody beating you there's anything they want to talk about? They keep reminding you that you have support. They are here for you asking you like, if there's a threat to your life, that hope you know that you've got support. You know things like that. So most times when women experience like this is something they're not really used to especially women that have never left Nigeria. You know women can actually see that. Oh can actually be heard if I complain there's so many rights that are protecting me. So if this man messes up I'm just going to deal with him and stuff like that so from there so momentum to like develop Wings when when there's might give them one, they give him 10. and things like that can actually break you home. I'M not saying it applies to everyone and, at the same time, I'm not trying to like shame people that divorced or anything like that. Never I would never do that because even me that is talking to you now do I even know what's going to happen tomorrow. So you guys this is my Foundation. I just want to to look more natural in a way I feel like I've stained this thing and, as I was saying, divorce does not really favor Nigerian women or African women when it comes to divorce most times it favors. The man, basically, you know you know in Nigeria say oh look at where do you share the property into two everything the man owns? It will be shared into two. I don't know if they practice it. I know it's in the Constitution, but I don't know if they practice it like, for instance, um. It'S not poor, yeah Paul and it's okay, for instance, a lot of things and at the end of the day I think she's not get anything or rather decided to settle out of court. It was in the UK. Believe me. Let me she's not going to leave MTN there. She will definitely get a lot of things. Some women come from Nigeria or Africa to the Western World, they're like wow. It'S actually have this kind of power and then it enters their head and then they start to misbehave. This can actually lead to the end of the marriage, like things like this actually ends my reading. That'S why in marriage, the last thing you ever want to do to yourself is to be selfish, like you just have to be selfless if possible, put your spouse and your children before yourself in January. We'Re gon na be four years traditionally married okay, so I want to quickly cut this. This is the first time I'm going to be cutting this myself and I hope I don't make mistakes all right. Let me just do it off camera guys. I just successfully cut off the lace now, so I'm just going to wait for my straightener to heat up, so I can straighten the hair and then give it some colors wow. This is final. Fine, hair, fine girl. Another reason why most Africans divorce when they travel abroad is finances. I feel like a lot is not being said on finances in Nigeria, that this mentality of your money is our money, and my money is my money like most ladies. They say that on social media. I don't believe in that at all and if you have the narrative in Nigeria in Africa and then you migrate to abroad with that mentality. Oh my God, your marriage is not even going to last up to three months. You guys will fight and fight and fight and fight and divorce. Like believe me on that, because it's not possible for one man to pay all the bills like when I came to dck. I started work. That was like our major challenge in our first year of marriage, how to handle finances. We started off with joint account. Yes, there was a time we bought our joint account when my salary comes. It goes in there when the salary comes, it go, it goes in there. We both know what is in there. I didn't like it because I wanted to be buying a lot of things like I wanted to buy things that I won't want to start having to explain. Imagine now, can I just go in there and bring out one thousand pounds and buy what I want to buy or go into the accountant with your 500 pounds and send to my mom for a project to give me without explaining the team? Don'T really go that way with me. First, two months issues were about finances. We have issues we'll set to the same thing was causing problem over and over and over again and the monster just said. You know what keep your money I'll keep my money I'll pay. Most of the bills so which bills do you want to be starting out? Like just tell me, oh my God, I feel like I'm giving people too much information right now, TMI, but the bottom line is that finances can actually cause issues if care is not the king. When you come to the UK with that mentality of, why do I have to pay bills like why? Why do I have to buy? You know the man of the house, the head of the house, you pay the bills now, after all, I don't bump it. You know I've, given you five kids, I've, given you four kids, I look after them most of the time. So why do I have to pay the bills or the other aspect? The man might just you know no mind in his business by not minding his business. I mean prying into your personal affairs, trying to know your expenses trying to know the amount you send to your people. You know those stuff like that. It can literally lead to very big issues, foreign, nothing wrong with you and your partner actually like having a separate account. Let'S say you both have your personal account, so I just create a separate account where you can just throw in money from time to time to save up for your children or to be able to cater for the home. You know that mentality of my own, my own, it can't work. It can't work in mind like in. If you can survive in Nigeria, we know there's some men that tell you. Oh just look after the attitude any money you make. I use it as you like, spend on yourself spend on the kids. I don't want you contributing to the bills. Just use your money, your money. Is your money. There'S something like that. I mean those are the organic way all these high shift, then people die and they've arrived. I mean that is in Nigeria. If they were even living in the UK, I'm sure they will not be able to say that they will not be able to do that. Because trust me, it's a lot on one person and then some husbands. Let'S say they were any more in Nigeria or Africa, and then they moved to the UK as the students you know in the UK, when you're the students, you have to work just 20 hours in a week, while your wife Independence can work for unlimited hours. Now, in that situation, the wife will be working more and have more money than the man, and if there is no understanding and love between these two people, trust me that is going to lead to a lot of problem, because the woman on her own, going out To work is a lot and then sometimes you come back home and if you know that this one has not been done, anything like it's not been cooked yeah, it's not changing up, because it's not clean, there's not done anything just chilling chilling, probably studying, because he Feels, like oh he's, a student and you do whether I've gone out to work. You come back and you still have to cook clean. Do all these things. I don't think that marriage is going to try, but at some point the woman will be like you know. What I'm done or the amount of black you know what I'm done. I cannot take your gut anymore, you're, now very insulting you're, not you know things like this, so the bottom line is just let them be basic understanding, tolerance. I feel like I'm not even in a position to talk about marriages like that, but I mean these are the things that we see every day. These are things that happen. If it's doing statistics now to involves people like what exactly went wrong. What do you mean by if a constable difference? What are the differences that you people could not reconcile challenge the UK? They will tell you, oh pain of bills, Finance problem. It doesn't like to cook, you know back and forth. I'Ve come across a woman that told me that she's, the breadwinner of the family, like she walks, she pays the bills, while the husband stays at home to look after the kids, because she is a medical doctor and she clearly ends small well demand is an engineer, But coming to the UK has been struggling to you know, get into his career like to continue his career as an engineer. So all he does is just mini jobs there and there and stuff like that, which of course cannot sustain the family, so she's the breadwinner, and she was saying it with so much pride she's, not African, by the way she's Asian. But she was saying it with so much pride and I'm like wow interesting now in that situation. If they have babies, you will have to change nappy feed the babies, make their food cool clean and all that, while the wife goes out to work, because I mean it's not expected for her to go out to work and come on Master doing this. But let's say, for example, the man is an African man and if you like, oh I'm, the organic way of this house, I'm the heads you are the neck. I cannot do all these things too. You have to after coming back from work, you come back. You change like tell me how we've done my wrist drive like at some point. She will break down and that's the end of the marriage, like some men will tell you after I say that, oh they cannot change nappies. They cannot do this. They cannot do that, but that nappy that you cannot change you come to the UK. You find yourself working in care yeah as a care assistant you and end up changing nappies of grown adults, but your papa, your mama age, Meats, your chin in your nappies, but your own baby. You cannot change your baby's, nothing. So, what's the way forward, what best can we do to actually avoid these things to reduce the weight at which Africans are just breaking up left right center in the UK, like using the UK, for instance, as a case study, I've come across men that are probably In their late 60s - and they tell you that they're no longer with their wife, they are staying alone, have even worked with some of them African men. They are staying alone, their children are all grown living with their wife and they are all alone working in care, and it's not pleasant man at that age bonding more with your. Why? Because, obviously your kids have grown doing their own thing. Have you should have a company and all that but yeah they're, all alone walk home, walk home? Tell me why they will not be depressed. Tell me why you know you're old. This person has died. So, in a nutshell, while we are all here chasing money, you know I mean chasing money. Doing our thing chasing our career should not forget. Family, like family comes first family is everything whatever it is that you need to do to keep your family thriving to keep it going with your your wife and your kids. Just do it to keep things going to make sure that the love that exists, the both of you, does not we that away, because trust me when you're, only speaking shift wife is only speaking shifts before you know, you feel like you're living with a stranger. So you guys share with me your thoughts in the comment section. I hope you absolutely enjoyed this video and you love this hair that I got from. You know that this is Peruvian body weight four by four closure, 22 inches and the link will be in my description box. So you guys thank you so much for watching this video, and I will see you all in my next one: bye, guys