Recovering From Devastation | A Natural Hair Care Journey

Hey guys, it's your girl, carolyn gray, and i am stopping by um with what i know is not going to be a quick video. So i'm not going to lie to you. Um i've been doing a lot of videos recently about like losing weight fast. You know getting slimmer, speaking of which i just came back from a walk with my husband and like this was real tight. You know um last year, as i was trying to battle some of the weight i gained during covet, and so things are moving in the right direction. Finally, and that's what you want to hear, you want to move in the right direction, but i also got a comment related to a video that i made. I don't know at least a year ago, where i was talking about how i was taking care of my natural hair in my 50s and so someone wrote and commented that um you know. I think she had gone through a hair struggle and i'm wondering if that's sunscreen on my nose - i don't know but anyway, if you're gon, na work outside or work out outside definitely use your sunscreen. So you know get your walk in it's saturday morning. I'Ve done my walk with my husband, like i said, getting ready to eat my first meal of the day for the intermittent fasting thing that i've been promoting so heavily, but i thought, while the house was quiet, let me go ahead and address that comment about hair. So um, i think the person that um commented said that she liked my hair. It looked soft or whatever um. This is funny because um, this is not how i normally wear my hair at night. In fact, i have probably about four to six plaits that i keep um each night and then i just wrap them around the front. So my husband wanted to watch this goofy show on television, so we hop back in the bed watch tv, and so i use it as a time to gently carefully unplug. You know my hair so that i can get ready for something that i need to do. I ran into a lot of problems because my hair is about 60 gray that didn't start um, really going crazy until probably around 2009 2010. Something like that and so back during that time. How is my hair looking um? Do i have a picture? Oh yeah. I do have a picture i mean i was living, what you might call ghetto fabulous back, then you know my hair was relaxed. I don't know if with the glare, you could actually see it, but my hair was relaxed. It was healthy. I was going every 14 weeks without getting a touch up and i was come up with all kinds of styles: none that were very creative because, like now we have like a lot of things we can do like ponytails. You know people can do half wigs or um clip-ins and all sorts of things, and so i'm still sweating from the walk, because it's probably about 90 degrees outside and i'm glad you can't smell me. You can see me, but you can't smell me and needless to say, i did wear a visor when i was outside. So i didn't look as ridiculous as i do now, but since i'm talking about hair, i can keep it real. Keep my real hair out and um, and this is a part of the issue that i'm talking about now. As i answer the person's question, what i'm getting ready to do now is um is dye the hair, and so i'm just getting ready and part of the process was to have it unplanted. So i thought that i would start answering part of the question first saying that, just like you, i had a situation with the brazilian keratin treatment. In fact, that was the video that started this channel, probably back in maybe 2009 or something like that, where um, where i was going to a stylist or salon well, what was it called pr at partners and the stylist, i think who might have owned, that particular Salon after a while, she convinced me, oh your hair's, so healthy in that picture, that i showed you it was, and she said, oh, you don't need to go every 14 weeks. You know you can get your relaxers. You know every six to eight weeks now and so slowly but surely i started to listen because she was touching up my color and um. The edges, like i'm just gray all around here and, like i said at least 60 of my hair, now is gray, but thanks to permanent coloring, which is why my hair needs to see in his natural state. So it doesn't, you know, get damaged any further, so um so anyway. So i listened to her. I started relaxing more frequently and then my husband's business blew up like around 2008 or whatever, and then you know we were just going crazy. Didn'T really have time to focus. I was letting her do what she wanted to do. Like i said six to eight weeks, relaxing um never sets under the dryer. Just you know just blow drying it all the time and then my hair just got you know shorter and shorter and it you know, got drier and drier and she kept you know recommending these products. I'M i forget what the pureology things that weren't designed for my hair type and i was just letting it ride because i just wanted to have it taken care of, and i stopped thinking i put things on autopilot. I trusted her and the next thing you know she said well, if you don't want to relax anymore, you could do the brazilian keratin treatment that will allow you to, you know, have relatively straight hair and you won't have to worry about it and come back every Six to eight weeks, so i spent probably about 500 and um. I wound up going to new york for the weekend with my sons, and i noticed that my hair had like this reddish tint. You know, i think the instructions were not to put any water on it for at least four to eight hours. It was dry, you know it was um, it was pretty lifeless, and so i have a picture somewhere underneath the bottom of a bunch of pictures. I can't throw it away because my kids are in it but um in terms of how my hair was looking. Oh, my goodness, it was a hot mess and then i wound up whining to the stylist a few days later, because i said you know it's starting to break. You know it's so dry it just it's not good, and so she said go ahead and wash it. You know after the required, you know dry period, and it was still you know. Lifeless like fried died blown to the side. It was just really really bad and i was just saying you know. Oh, my goodness, i could just cry right now, so she said well come on in and you know we'll do something and of course, being the fool that i was um. Her suggestion was um after some time to relax it again and just you know, go from there. So, needless to say, bad went to worse. I decided not to let her color it or do anything else. I didn't go back to her again. If i would have been thinking clearly, i probably would have sued her and the salon, because you know she assured me that everything would be great and i just don't think she knew what she was doing and i think she was more even though she was black Um her hair was finer than my i don't mind. I don't think she was used to dealing with. You know, hair this course um. This version of um of thickness that i had going on at the time, and so she really um messed me up and to be mild, did me a disservice so um. I was scared to go to any stylist for a number of years, so no coloring, no relaxing um and i was in a bad state and of course i was in corporate america and trying to look professional. You know like half of my hair was relaxed and um. You know the majority of it. Three-Fourths was relaxed and what was growing under the roots. Um was natural. You know like it is now, and so it led me to various styles, like here's one like where i was with my husband and you can tell like it's puffy on the top. The ends are straight and i just started to slowly clip off the ends and i wound up putting clip ins in the back. If you can see where you know the hair is hanging on my shoulder in the front, i think that could have been part of a clip in so i would just put things in to match. While i was growing out, you know the damage. That was because my head is too big for me to say: oh yeah, i'm just going to start all over and cut everything off and you know be like esther roll, because my hair is like at the texture that hers would be if it was really short That wasn't the look i was going for, like i said, trying to go to work every day in corporate america, and so then, after a while, as the natural hair started to grow out more, i was doing a lot of deep conditioning. You know using effigies. You know protein treatments um, you know using cholesterol treatments, hot oil treatments. I was just doing everything that i had recommended back in a book that i wrote in 1999 called the black women's guide to beautiful, healthier hair in six weeks, and then i did a second edition in 2003, and so i tried to follow the routines that they Had you know using um like motions, moisturizing, shampoo and conditioner, and you know adding just different things sitting under the dryer and i'm just letting my hair heal, didn't um didn't color, it didn't do anything other than just like. Maybe use um like sprays that you know might cover up the gray roots and so then, after a while what i wound up doing and praise the lord. I have pictures to show this i'm at fannie mae. I was on a project there back in 2010, and so people of other cultures got to witness. You know the nightmare. That was my growing out phase, and so one of the asian friends that i had she said um your hair is, you know it's a different texture on the ends than it is. You know like around here and i'm just like. I know you know, and then so what i started doing was um getting hair pieces. Like you know, put my hair on the natural part was enough to pull back into a bun, so i would like wear it in a little bun and i started looking for hair pieces that you could put on there any number of them. I might look up some and put some links in the comments, if i can think of, but what i wound up doing after a while. After you know, it started growing growing. I kept cutting cutting growing growing, staying away from the chemicals and i was in my 40s and i was over 45. This was 2010, so i think i must have been 44 at the time, so there is hope um. I had this devastation at 40. You know. Maybe 43 44 and i lived to tell the story. My hair did start growing back, so this was a style that i was wearing to work again. My husband, this was my natural hair, pull back in a bun, and then i would find like either a half wig or a half piece and put on top of it, and before doing that, i would cut and style the hair piece where it looked. As my husband would say, believable, and so i was able to go to work, doing that um without being totally embarrassed because there was a period, i was very embarrassed and it was like humiliating and especially like i said when the majority of people i worked with Um were of other ethnic groups and my director she had natural hair, but she wore you know a teeny, weeny afro and, like i said that, wasn't really the look that i wanted, especially coming from a long hair background. So um. Eventually, my hair did grow out and i was debating about what i should do, because i was on a project i think at sprint. In 2014, when i started recovering, and so my hair was a full-blown afro, but again i was keeping it under half wigs. So i could um, you know, go through this awkward phase and you know still kind of fit in without people always talking about my hair and asking me questions about it, which, when i come to do a job, i don't want to talk about my hair you're. Not talking about other people's hair, but you're talking about my hair, so my husband had the bread idea after i think about 2015, maybe where he said, you know why don't you like, i pulled it out one day, picking it doesn't really help but pulling it out As you're going to see when i come back um, he said you know why? Don'T you just go with that? Why don't you just wear an afro and then thanks to him, i wound up with this about two, how many years like maybe about a year and a half later. This is what my hair looked like and i wound up cutting off all of the relaxed hair. So i did about a year and a half of growing out and gradually cutting. So there is hope, there's life after and so what i'm going to do now is eat my breakfast or the first meal of my intermittent fasting day, and then i'm going to pull this down and talk to you with my actual hair out at 56. To let you know that you can recover from stuff, because i did have to again cut you know, because i started coloring. You know letting someone put permanent color in while relaxing so we'll continue part two of this and i'll be right back. Okay, i'm back and i've continued on with the test that i told you guys about earlier um, it's a saturday, so i try to get as much in as possible. So, okay check, we got the walk um. We got the hair unplug it because i haven't washed. My hair, in probably about six weeks and then i ate my breakfast or brunch whatever you want to call it. The first meal in the intermittent fast and you know, took all of my supplements and things and you know, took a shower got cleaned up. I was debating about whether or not i would immediately go ahead and um dye, my hair with semi-permanent. You see all the redness, that's showing up that's what happens with the gray, because it's mostly gray and as i dye it and the dye wears off it turns into a rusty red. So, instead of just touching up the roots like i want to do with the um, l'oreal, paris, magic root, rescue and my nails are wet. That'S why i'm not going deeply into the part, so you can see the actual gray, but everywhere you see the redness. There are hints of gray in there and that's what you're seeing you know: reddish gray, so um. I want to do this, even though they say 10 minutes to touch up your roots, because i um do all of it. With this, i use two boxes and i know that their original intention, but since it works so well for the roots and because i use their magic root, cover up spray, and you know so, i kind of trust them, even though i told their president. In a letter that i wrote to them on linkedin that it doesn't look like they really are targeting black women for this product and i'm starting to sweat, because my hair is out i'm going to turn the fan on. Hopefully that will um will allow you guys to still hear me um, oh my goodness, oh my god. This is why i don't like to wear it out that much but anyway um i just have sunscreen on right now and so um, and actually i was talking about sunscreen for when i go outside to work out, but i also wear neutrogena's um. What is it called? It'S their um wrinkle fighting retinol spf 30 formula, it's in kind of like a silver little canister pump thing that you can use on your face daily. So i use that daily and when i start to sweat, it turns white so ignore. But sun damage is real, whether you're, black or whatever color. This is an evidence of sunscreen, i'm not sunscreen, but sun damage that i might get the dermatologist to take a look at it. But i'd have to wear a band-aid because back in college, i used to have something here as well that they shaved off, but i needed a band-aid for a while. So whatever i feel like dealing with that i'll take care of that and sitting so close to the camera, all of a sudden, you see all of your bumps and um, you know warts or whatever, but i'm 56. So i'm thanking the lord that i'm holding it together this well at this age, but i digress anytime. I start to sweat. I can't think straight. So please forgive me for um. You know the off topic thing, but anyway, back to the person who wrote me earlier um asking if i had any tips for wearing her hair short. Obviously your hair is being problematic because it's mad that you put that brazilian keratin treatment on there. Maybe that's for japanese women, maybe it's for. I don't know, indian woman. I have no idea well, it says brazilian. So maybe south american women, whose hair is a lot stronger like a hair, looks strong in this natural state um. But it's really not. I have to be more gentle with my natural hair than i used to be with the relaxed hair, and so the fact that i let someone put a brazilian keratin treatment on my relaxed hair. It was catastrophic, so it took at least three years to fully recover from the ill effects of it and for me to get over the fear of going to a hair, stylist and letting them put some chemicals in my hair. So i got over that fear. Probably in about 2017, i would say - and there was a hair cuttery close by like i wanted to go to other stylists, but they're, not a whole lot of stylists that are able to deal with natural hair in the state that i have it. And so i wound up going to one lady, not too far from supposedly you know a person who talked about natural hair as being her specialty and so the minute i go there with my tingly hair and if my nails weren't wet. If i tried to run my fingers through this, it wouldn't go very far because, as soon as i comb through my hair, it retangles. So if i combed it through three times every section, it would be tangled by the time i came back and tried to comb. It you know an hour later: it's just the hair that i've been given. I'Ve learned to love it and to accept it, and that's one of the things that you have to do if you wind up with natural hair um, if you decide to make that decision, because it really is what it is, and everybody doesn't have the hair that You see on these commercials where they're promoting you know like showing these lovely little ring lids, you know loose curls and things some of us get that everybody doesn't. I didn't get that i get. You know kinks and coils, and so my hair immediately turns into an afro. If i don't do something you know serious to it and usually by the time, i'm into the second day of hardcore workouts, it's going to turn back to this immediately. This is its preferred state, and so some people have written in comments from my past videos and saying why won't you, you know: do your hairnet style, newsflash and afro is a style that my hair defaults to so anyway, um back in 2017, i was going to The hair cuttery letting them put well, no, that other stylus i was letting her do a texturizer, because the minute she saw my hair she said now. Why is it you want to be natural? And so she, you know talked me into getting a texturizer which was wonderful. My hair looked great but because it wasn't really a texture brush, it was a um, a kitty. I think maybe ultra sheen - or you know something from the beauty supply store, that she was using it didn't last very long and people thought that that was the way that my hair looked in its natural state. That was a slightly texturized version and i did do some videos on that, and so that was a little damaging because i wound up doing permanent color um with it. I was trying to do the semi-permanent, it didn't work and then i tried permanent and then my hair, you know was hating it and then it took another. You know year or two to recover, and so the next thing you know you know i'm back to the natural thing again and i picked one i said: either it would be relaxed, hair and and semi-permanent color, or whether it would be permanent, color and natural hair. So i wound up choosing natural hair in the permanent color, because my hair can't take it regardless of what the people that pr partners said, regardless of what any other stylist said, my hair, it's one of the other for the harsh chemicals. So because i am so gray and this redness, my son, said it looked rusty. There was a time you know back in, like maybe 2018 and it did um. If i let this go, and i don't do anything to it - it does kind of look rusty, so um, all of that to say i kind of had to take back control of my hair and stay away from the harsh chemicals and, like i said, the only Reason i'm even using permanent color now is because my hair literally lasts at semi-permanent color of all kinds, whether it's in a salon or whether it's from a beauty supply store. So please don't write me tell me about the great you know: um, the great experience you had with a semi-permanent color that you found at the beauty supply store. Everybody'S hair is different, and i've been there done that not doing it again, and so i'm very happy keeping my natural hair, even though it's a lot of work, and so, if you decide to stick with your natural hair, just realize you have to give it patience And care and love and realize that it's temperamental and so just find all of the um solutions that you, you know need to take care of it. The best way that you can so i'll. Let this say at 56, i'm very thankful to have a full head of hair. After all of the bad experiences that i've had often at the hands of an experienced stylist who um you know, might leave me sitting in the chair for five hours? Might wind up trying to um, you know, run a brush through my hair very quickly. All my hair will do is break. I'Ve heard probably the most bad advice from stylists that i've ever heard. Like one lady, the one i was talking about, who did the um? The mini texturizer for me she was saying well, if your hair breaks, you know with me, brushing it while it's wet, that's hair, that's meant to break really lady. I don't think so, and we kept getting into baits debates about how long she was leaving me or how long it took for me to get out of there one time it was like about six or seven hours, and that's just ridiculous. You know because i would comb through it myself, because nobody really has the patience to detangle it. The way that i want it, you know to be detangled, so all that to say you got to take the responsibility you got to take the reins. You got to do what it takes to fight back, to get your hair to wherever you want it to be. In your natural hair care journey, so one of the things that helped me to get back on point sorry, biotin. When i was fighting back through around 2010, i started taking biotin to try to help my hair grow back more fully because there were some areas that were a little thinner, because my scalp and hair hated that brazilian keratin treatment - and i was a fool to let Someone give me a relaxer after um having that devastation happen to my hair, and i did it twice. So how dumb can you be, but anyway, um sorry about that? But anyway, why is the camera acting up? Okay, now i'm back in focus, but anyway um. I did it. I was a big dummy and so another thing that i did while i was um on that project. I was telling you guys about where i was embarrassed by the way that my hair was looking. I did try viviscal and that kind of gave some moderate improvement into how my hair was growing and the way that you see it right now, even though i'm probably not going to um to diet today, i may diet tomorrow. One of the things i want to tell you guys about at some point i'm going to try this kiss quick cover because um, even though i spray my roots with l'oreal root, concealer um, one thing that i do to um like if i go out with my Husband, neph, i don't decide to um to dye my hair today, i'm going to touch up the edges with um kiss's quick cover and when i order it from amazon, they keep sending me this color change. Shampoo! That'S supposedly going to be a natural rinse for my diet, for my hair to maybe emulate like a short version of dyeing it with permanent color, and they just keep giving me all these packs, and i want to try them. But i'm so scared, because one, my son's graduation is next month and i don't want to do anything that could cause devastation so every time i order these now they're giving me these packs. I was telling l'oreal that they should have a product readily available that i could use in addition to their permanent color and their um spray, because i would be you know, hook, line and sinker, but i get this from amazon. They sell two at a time. I think it's like maybe seven dollars or something which is cheaper than the asian beauty supply store that i used to go to so one day when i get brave enough, i'm going to try this, but in the meantime, i'm just touching up the edges and i'm Going to do that permanent color thing by tomorrow, but fortunately my husband likes my hair like this. So i might you know, be talked into going out to dinner with it like this and and see how we roll, but at 56 it's such a blessing to be here. So, no matter what happened at 44. You know 47. 48. At 56 i have a full head of hair, and so i'm hoping that that gives you an encouragement um to keep fighting to keep pushing. You know to figure out what works for your particular hair, because there is life after desert devastation life after brazilian keratin treatment, and so i'm so i'm actually very happy. But one other thing that i was going to say in addition to doing things internally, also take a good multivitamin supplement, drink plenty of water and find some good products, and everybody was always saying you got to find the right products, even at stylist, who used to Do my texturizer? Oh, you need the right products, you need the right products and i'm like well you're a trained professional, can't you recommend the right products and no one could ever tell me what the right products were. So if your hair is as temperamental as you were, mentioning excuse me one thing that i might suggest that you try is um aligned by chemic biologics, like whenever i do my plaits or like after i shampoo. I use their amla and olive heavy cream which has castor oil and ayurvedic botanicals. It says um it softens and moisturizes very dry, coarse, hair, ding ding ding. That'S me: that's what i have if that's what you have and that's what my son has. So whenever i pull out you know his hair like while we're talking when i go visit him. You know, since he doesn't live at home anymore and he's in grad school and he's he's far away. It'S a nice way to talk to your kids, where i'm just like sitting there and his hair is wet and i'm just pulling it out with that. You know because he used to try to pick it but picking um, it's not the best option. I don't. I don't pick my hair, i pull it and so um because he wears his hair. You know like kind of pulled out um. We do that and it keeps it nice and moisturized and hydrated, and so he's able to wear it long in corporate settings or professional settings without anyone. You know really say anything because it's moisturized, so that's a good product for you to try like maybe, if you're wearing a short fro or something or like a short style, while you're growing your hair out. But like say if you're plaiting it and wearing protective styles or whatever, underneath maybe a half wig or something like i did in that one picture, i showed you where i put a hair piece on. This is a good product too, and i got desperate because i'm waiting for um chemic biologics to send me a package with that heavy cream that i just told you about, but also this is their olive and honey hydrating balm with grape seed oil and pure wildflower Honey, it softens and hydrates dry hair, ding, ding ding dry hair. So what i do is in the morning when i finish working out, if my hair is still in plaits, i um spritz it with paul mitchell, our pooy moisture, and so i dampen my hair before i moisturize it any time, and even since um 2010, when i Was trying to recover from the brazilian keratin, i would miss my hair after working out and then i would moisturize it so what i do now, after working out spritz it with paul mitchell's awakui, moisture mist, i sometimes switch it up with um. What is it called? Um, i saw some videos on youtube where this lady was mixing um. What'S the name clover, um yeah, i think it's clothes like she would take clothes bowl, some more to put them in there strain it and she claimed that your hair would grow like crazy and that it would help. I haven't noticed any difference with that, but um. You know i use it anyway and mixed in a little hibiscus. You know just in case but, like just moist, you know add some moisture to it before you put your creams on, especially even the hydrating balm, but that's a good thing if you're like putting it on top of the heavy cream after you've, plaid it or like You'Re, maintaining your plaits during the week. I just put some in my hand and just rub it on each of the plaits and then pull them up. You know, especially while i'm working out like when you guys see me in some of the videos one where i was talking about having more energy and my hair is pulled up with plaits. Those are moisturized by that hydrating balm and there's one other thing that i buy from that line. The castor and amla nourishing pomade, supposedly it nourishes your scalp, encourages growth and softens hair. I put that near the roots and on the ends to try to um to try to protect them. So i think those are three great products that you might want to try out from the chemic biologics line. I went to their website and, if you're not sure how to spell chem it um in a fun pronouncement correctly. I am not sure it's q-h-e-m-e-t um google searched that look at some of the reviews. The reviews are pretty good um, that's a good thing to try. So get something to moisturize your hair and take care of yourself internally and then also find good products that you enjoy for shampooing. My hair is very temperament, temperamental and so a lot of times we'll say: oh yeah try this oh yeah get this get that and my hair is like yeah whatever i'm like for, like the fido product products. My my hair was like and whatever you know, try again um. You know i tried the nioxin things that my stylist recommended that were overpriced and didn't work and she's like oh, you need to get a good shampoo. Like i used nioxin, like you said she's like oh, i don't mean that i mean something else, so almost everything that stylist would recommend. I try that and then um it didn't work and then they said. Oh, you just need to try something just to try something else, and so that's why i'm done with them. I take care of my hair and whatever state it's in. If i've done a dumb head thing, at least i can live with it. So what i can tell you, after spending thousands on shampoos conditioners? Oh my goodness, i have found that expensive versus what you can find. You know in the beauty supply store. It'S not much different. In my humble opinion, so some of my favorite shampoos right now are miele. If i'm pronouncing that correctly, it's their pomegranate and honey, moisturizing and detangling shampoo, because my hair is very tangly, and so i don't know if this is your hair type. But it says it cleanses with rich lather and soak it slip to pre-detangle thick curly type, 4 hair, hopefully um. You know. If you have this hair you'll get similar results and there are conditioners that they have as well that i just saw in the beauty supply store and it was pretty packaging. The next thing you know i had it, and so i've been reordering it ever since um and my son, he loved that he used it on his hair, and you know i thought he might not like the smell, but he didn't seem to mind and it did Have a good effect on his hair, so men too, but also miele's pomegranate and honey moisturizing and detangling conditioner. You notice that there's a recurring thing detangling, because my hair needs to be detangled and then it deeply hydrates conditions and silken's thick curly type for a hair. So um that's something to try. Also um. I like design essentials, they're, honey, cream, moisture retention, super detangling conditioning shampoo, that's something to try as well and then a last one that i've actually been enjoying is shea moisture's high slip. Detangling shampoo there's definitely a recurring thing, because my hair is constantly tangled, but i tell you what, in the interest of taking care of my hair, growing it out after each one of these fiascos. You know some based on my dumbness and some based on you know. Poor advice from professionals um the thing of it is it's like you're responsible at the end of the day, and so the less you do to natural hair, especially if your hair is not easily combed. My grandmother, who you know was part indian. She had like the wavy fine, thin hair that she could just take a little fine tooth comb and just go and she kept her hair in flats, and i wondered why my grandma was wearing plaits. It'S easy to maintain. It keeps your hair from being tangled. So as much as you can like plait it twist, it pull it up, you know the less you do to it. The faster it'll grow and i think that that's why my hair is at this stage. At 56. um years ago, i used to kind of scoff, especially when you saw the picture where my hair was really long and relaxed. I used a scarf at protective styling. Now i'm convinced i am a fan of naturals of um protective styling, because it allows me to do more with my hair without doing more with my hair, meaning that i could have those plaits. I could pull it up in a bun. You know put a ponytail on it and then like let my little plaits wrap around in the front. That'S a wonderful thing or like put the plaits in the back. Have my hair in a bun put a half wig on it? Those are ideas that you could do. You know, while you're growing your hair out, but if you put your inner protective silent, you have to take care of it. You know you have to moisturize. You notice i mentioned. Even if my hair is in plants, i'm spritzing it in the morning i'm putting that hydrating bomb on it. Oh another thing: i'm growing up. We used to use grease and, like everybody says, oh you know grace is so bad. You know clogs your pores. You know my grandmother used to use grease on her hair. Although she used to use royal crown, i'm not recommending that you get that, because that looked like straight for petroleum jelly, but one thing i am suggesting sulfur eight i've been putting that in um the parted areas in the back. You know like for my scalp and it feels nice and tingly, but i think that it's helped with the growth process. You know, but it might help you too, give it a shot, see how your scalp responds some of the areas. I was going to talk to my dermatologist about were some of the areas that are not growing back in as thick. I'M just happy to have edges, but like no matter what protective style you choose guard your edges with your life because there's no guarantee that they will come back. So, like you know, people who recommend putting braids or you know things that you know pull on your edges. Just please say no, your um, your early um 40s or maybe not even 40 um. Please don't do that. Don'T put anything on your edges. Try to protect them. That'S why i'm a big fan of half wigs um. One time i was telling someone in a video about you know me trying to cover up my gray, hair and the person said. All you need to do is just get a lace front. I don't want a lace front. I want to show my hair. I want some of my hair to show my husband is like i don't mind you adding hair on, but just make it believable, and so, like a lace front where you can see, you know that it's not my hair in the front that doesn't that doesn't turn Me on, i don't want that. I want to be able to let my edges have you know room to breathe room to grow, nothing to um. You know to damage them because we already struggle enough to fight against damage. You don't need to add insult to injury. So i'm thinking that that is everything that i wanted to tell you, but just the main thing is it's just there's hope, and i'm just so thankful that you know that my hair forgave me, you know, i don't know if around the edges, if it's forgiving me As much as um as i'd like it to but like i said at 56, i think this is. This is pretty good. This is a blessing from god and i thank him right now, and so i thank him for the opportunity to encourage you you're only around 40.. So if i can do this 16 years after that point, then you can do even better. So hang in there keep fighting, and i hope this helps you and anybody out there that's face any sort of devastation realize that stylists are professionals too, and there are people too, they may be professionals and they may have had all the willa training in the world Which is what the person at pr at partners told me, and she did all of those horrible things to my hair and caused my hair to go in the matter of like maybe four years under her care, where i lost probably about six inches of hair. So it was not a good thing and i'm just thankful that there's a scripture that says all things work together for good and i believe that that is the case if she hadn't done what she did back in 2009-2010, i wouldn't be natural now and i wouldn't Have an afro at 56, which i love it's just difficult to maintain. So hopefully that helped you and answered your questions. What i'm going to do before i post this is see if i can find some suggestions of half wigs or hair pieces that might work for you and that i probably would consider now, if i was um, you know to be like transported back to 2000 and 2015, where i was trying to fix things. So let me know if that doesn't answer the question and i apologize again for the video being so long, but um so much happens. And when you watch youtube it makes you think that you're, the only bobble head that it's happening to and that everybody's just having this wonderful hair experience everyone's, not you know the people who have major problems, just usually don't say anything. They just suffer in silence, which is what i did until i made that video you know way back in the day. You know warning people about the dangers of the brazilian keratin treatment, but anyway, let me know if i need to do anything else. Otherwise, i'm going to go back to the other topics that i have been discussing on losing weight faster and you know, especially over 40 over 50 and hopefully that's helping somebody out there. But until then i hope you guys have a good one. Talk to you soon. Bye