Should you kiss or dismiss your stylist?

So you have formulated a hair regimen that works for you.  You’ve decided to either transition, continue to relax or remain natural.  You have a core group of staple products, you’ve perfected a few looks, and you have even added to your styling repertoire.  You have celebrated some success in your hair journey, noticing healthier locks and perhaps longer lengths.

But now it is time for what you normally visit a professional to do – a trim or cut, color, highlights, relaxer touchup and/or sew-in, just as a few examples.  You are nervous because maybe this is your first visit to the salon since you began your HHJ.  Maybe you are concerned because the practices your stylist usually performs on your hair used to be suitable for you, but now, armed with more knowledge and seeing some progress, you no longer want her to do those same things.  Maybe you fear that you will suffer a setback after the salon visit.  What to do?  Should you kiss or dismiss your stylist? Here are a few suggestions to help you decide:

• Evaluate the relationship with your stylist.  Is he or she open to feedback, has s/he received critique from you well in the past, do they value your satisfaction above all?  If the answer to all of those questions is yes, then they are probably worth working with.  Redefining a standing relationship can be easier than establishing a new one with someone else.

• Consider the health of his or her other clients’ hair.  Although you may have struggled in the past with this stylist, it does not mean that your stylist is automatically at fault.  Some ladies frequent the salon and still get the hard, brown-gelled up ponytails every two weeks without moisturizing at all in between visits.

It is unfair to judge the skills of the hairdresser based on these clients!  Think of or find out if other women who rely on his or her services have HEALTHY hair.  Not hair that just looks good.

I have literally seen clients of my long-time stylist in NJ grow their hair from their perpetual shoulder length status to APL, which most would agree for the general “off-line” Black population is considered long.

• Share your goals and gauge your stylist’s reaction.  If they become excited about helping you reach your health and most importantly length goals, they may be a keeper!  However, if they display skepticism or doubt – dismiss them immediately!  A person who doesn’t believe in or share your goals for your hair is not the person that can best help you achieve them.

• Explain your “home” hair regimen.  Do this for a few reasons, one so that they can offer their expert advice.  There is a lot of information online, and we can become self-experts, but nothing (in my opinion) can replace the knowledge and experience of a GOOD hair care professional.  Secondly, if they understand fully how much time, energy and effort you are putting into your own hair – they are more likely to be careful to not do anything to cause a setback.

For example, you may have been a person who liked to bleach and relax your hair, sometimes within a week of each other.  In the past, your stylist may have taken the attitude of “the customer is always right” and proceeded as you requested.  Now, he or she may caution you about the potential dangers of double processing and take the time to fully educate you on the process to make sure it is something you really want to do.

I do not ascribe to the belief that all hairdressers are bad, will cut your hair out of hate and jealousy, that they take advantage of people or that they do not know what they are doing.  Just like with any other profession, hairdressers are not all created equally but once you find one who is knowledgeable and in whom you can trust – he or she is worth their weight in gold!