I Cut My Hair

Is it the kisses for me so if y'all can see close the door, so y'all can see from the title I'm cutting my hair off today? How do you say cut off in Spanish? Wait, let me ask Siri, hey Siri, how do you say cut off in Spanish in Spanish cut off this? No okay? I was close, of course, I'm low yeah. We kind of hear the [ __ ] off. We call it the low. This here is [ __ ] off because um, okay, let me show y'all the back while I'm still in the bun. The back of my hair is treacherous like it is ridiculous. Y'All see this y'all see it's ridiculous, so we I'm about to cut this off um. My hair is very damaged, so I guess this is the start of my new hair growth Journey um. I had recently cut my well not recently, but I come out here like two years ago on some. I wanted to restart my hair fresh and start hair growth journey and grow along, but one thing about me: I just cannot resist to put heat to my hair while I'm talking, I'm gon na be like be tackling my hair, but not, but I just couldn't resist Putting ease in my hair because I'm the type of person my hair is very thick. My hair is very thick, and so I just hate dealing with the thickness of my hair, so I just started putting heli Heats in my hair. After putting Health heat to my hair for about almost a year actually, over a year, I decided to go ahead and bleach my hair, while my hair was already heat damaged. So I decided to bleach my hair right and I over processed it just a little bit, but it was cool like when I first bleached it it wasn't. None of my hair fell out like it was cool, but about after a month I started experiencing a lot of breakage with my hair, and so I was trying to just hold on to it. I'M, like you know my hair is going to grow bags. It'S gon na grow back, I'm just gon na. Let it grow out, I'm gon na keep getting it braided. I can't deal. I cannot [ __ ] deal like you see this like I can't I can't imagine. My hair is literally, is not flat iron or anything. I wash my hair about a few weeks ago and ever since I washed my hair, it's literally been literally slipped back under my wigs, and it's this straight, that's ridiculous! I can't I can't do it so this coming. This is getting cut off. This is getting cut off and then, on top of that, I'm just y'all, I'm really [ __ ] depressed I'm really depressed and I feel like cutting my hair off will help with that depression because maybe it's just my hair is holding on to a lot of Negative energy and I just need to cut it off to let all that go. You know, so that's what I'm going to do. So, I'm just going to part my hair into four sections. Just so that way, it'll be easier for me to um, see what I'm doing, and so my hair can be even-ish. I may go to a barber shop and just have them. You know finish it up or I may not. I don't know, honestly, you probably wouldn't even make any sense for me to go to the barber shop simply because after I cut my hair, I'm gon na be gon na be wearing wigs. On top of this year, like my hair is not going to be out. So but yeah I got to cut this off. This is not it for me and I'm just you know. I just woke up woke up earlier from a nap mind. You I've been asleep all day. I'Ve been asleep all [ __ ] day and I'm like you know what I'm cutting this off. I can't deal with it anymore. I cannot deal with this and see more. I can't deal with my hair anymore, I'm depressed I'm. This hair is pissing me off just because it's just so damaged and healthy and, honestly, my hair, my hair, is at the point to where it really can't even be it really cannot even be fixed, like I feel like my hair cannot be fixed, there's nothing. I can do about this, so what do you want me to cut my hair off? I do not give a [ __ ], I'm not holding on to no hair, that's dead. Maybe I try to because I was telling people like trying to get people's opinions. Like should I cut my hair and everybody was like no don't cut, it, don't cut it. I don't listen. I don't listen so like y'all, since, since the last time I cut my hair two years ago, I and ever since, like it's, become damaged. Ever since I bleached it, I lost inches off my hair. My hair was not the shorts. My hair was literally touching back there why the [, __ ], is it already short? My hair came all the way down here and look look as I'm pulling it. Hair is literally just coming out literally just coming out, so we're about to go ahead and cut this. I feel like it'll just make me happier after I cut it so we're about to do this. We want to do this. We are about to do this girl. I'M about to go back to being a ball [ __ ] wow, I'm about to go right back to being a ball [ __ ], but that's okay! I really don't care! Oh my God yeah! I was so confident to cut this [ __ ] off. Until I actually had like look at my edges, my edges are throwing okay, we can do this, we can do this. We can do this. We can do this. We can do this. Let me text her. I want to see what you're about to say. I just tell him I'm about to cut my hair off now. If you want to question me, I don't have time for questions like. Should I or not foreign foreign? No, but I'm about to cut this. I don't care what you say. I knew he was gon na say no though I know he was gon na say no. I know he was going to say no, he said nah chill foreign like it. Is it really that it means like? Am I really that depressed like? Do? I really need to get rid of the energy like. Is it really that serious? You know, [ __, ] love hair like [ __, ] love girls with a lot of hair like they love hair, but I'd rather no hair than dead hair? And that's just how I feel but like should I really cut it because everybody been telling me now but and my hair is growing out pretty fast though so, like maybe I shouldn't cut it. Maybe I should just wait right. Maybe I should just wait. Maybe a few more months and then I should cut it, but I feel like it's in the [ __ ] way. Yeah, like this [ __ ], is in a way it's so uneven and everything, and I'm tired of putting my hair and um buns and the whole clump of hair, be coming out your face off two hours later, like whenever I put my hair in buns. I a whole clump of hair be coming out. Okay, I'm cutting this [ __ ] off. I don't care, I'm cutting it off day. Two y'all [ __ ]. I'M about to cut this off. I'M about to cut this [ __ ] off, like I need to stop just wasting time. [ __ ] with anybody else, think what oh, my God but look dog, look at how look at this y'all see mine. It needs because it had to be done. It had to be done, it had to be done. I don't care, it had to be done. It had some baby, hmm! Well, I guess, since it's already so we can finish. I wish that I could be like the cool kids. What am I doing? Uh? What the [ __ ] am I doing like seriously. I don't lost it. I don't lost my Everlasting mind, cutting my hair off, hey, like I said it had to be done. You got to do what you got to do. I guess this is a new, A New Beginning. Right, no start fresh start, always some police sirens always like it never feels never fails well. Well, I don't know I have a sense of relief doing this. I don't know, look at how much hair I just cut off like dog, but this is really brittle as [ __ ] like this was it was no coming back like it was really no recovering this so and my hair probably grow back faster anyway. Since I cut it [ __ ], I don't got ta braid my hair down, Elise, I'm gon na bring my hair down for no damn wig. So I guess that's the that's. The bright side like uh get out of here get out of here. I'M about to get straight in the shower after this and wash my fresh cuts, so I guess this is the start. This is the start of my of my hair growth journey and this time I'm actually going to take care of my hair loss like I'm. Actually going to take care of it, I'm not going to put any heat in it, I'm just going to keep it Embrace because, honestly, when I was putting heat in it, it was unnecessary like it was no point in me putting any heat in my hair. It was really in a serious [, __ ]. So with that being said, you know this is the start now it's time for the bag. That is crazy. I really just cut my [ __ ], like that, like I just cut myself off foreign well, now, let's do the back. I honestly can't even see that, so you know what I'm about to do. I'M about to move this me for right here, yeah, I'm about to put this in here right here and then I'm gon na cut the back. Oh [, __, ], foreign foreign, I think that'll be so [ __, ] cute young tattoo right here. Like I don't know, I, like the short look on me. I really do I'm not gon na lie like I do like the short look on me, but hmm, so I guess that's it. For this video about um, I'm gon na go ahead and wash my hair matter of fact. That'S not it. I'M gon na go wash my hair, I'm gon na go, get in the shower and wash my hair and whatnot, and I'm gon na come back and show you all. My hair looks like after it's washed in deep conditions and stuff. I do want to do a hot oil treatment. Y'All think I should do a hot oil treatment in my hair. You think it'll make a difference. I think I'm gon na do it for a few minutes, even though my hair is short now I still can do something to promote strength and um yeah. So all right I'll be back. I'M gon na go wash my hair. I think I cut it enough, like I think, hmm all right, I'm gon na stop because I'm a [, __ ] around me hatched, I'm gon na be looking a robot, but all right I'll be back. So I'm at the shower - and this is it this - is it y'all, I'm actually gon na go oil, my hair and everything you know put some leave-in conditioner in needs and yeah um. I don't know okay, so let me show you guys what I used to shampoo finish, my hair. I use this. I'Ve been using this for years like this smells so good and it's obviously smelling good, like it really helps your curls to really come out when I use the shampoo and conditioner and I'm just gon na go oil, my hair, I guess but yeah this - is it Y'All um, I'm not gon na lie. This is this, feels I'm not gon na lie. This feels rain in a way like, I just feel like a new person, I feel like rejuvenated anyway. I don't know, maybe it's just a mental thing, but I really do like. I really feel rejuvenated like cutting my hair off, really make me just made me feel good, like it really boosted my mood for real for real. Like I already been very depressed - and I read up on the fact that hair has a lot to do with hair hold energy, like I said in the beginning, hair holds energy and I've been to so many different places within the past two years, and I've been Going through summer stress and just been taking in a lot of negative energy with being in a lot of toxic situations and just having to deal with a whole bunch of [ __ ], so I feel like me, cutting my hair off definitely is was needed. It definitely was needed because I'm in a new place now I'm a new chapter in my life and I feel like um, I'm growing more as a woman and stuff with that being said. Maybe this hair has to regrow and um yeah. I restart with this hair. Um, I don't know not even just my hair. I feel like it's just a lot of stuff that I feel like I'm changing in a way I'm changing in a way in many ways I'm changing and um. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel better. I feel better, because I really was not feeling it like. I took a nap. I'Ve been sleep all day like my mood is just not been it. I'Ve had zero motivation. I just been real depressed. I don't know, but all I know is, I feel good. Okay, I feel good for now. For now I feel good, let's see how this, how this feeling is, how long this feeling is going to last um y'all. Please give me like good um. What'S the word, give me hair tips, give me hair tips, your hair routines, if y'all can in the comment section. So let me know like how to grow my hair really quickly, because I won't be bald forever, but actually this is a little convenient because, like I said, I hate braiding, my hair down for wigs. I just want to throw cap on and go so. This will really take away time and my weight is not going to look as bulky because, honestly, I haven't been braiding my braiding, my hair down before I put it. I wasn't ready my hair down for a minute while putting my wigs on, I literally just slick it back and put my recap on and probably gone and go and my wigs just wouldn't lay as flat as I would like them too. But I just didn't care honestly, you know what I'm actually glad I did this because I could show other girls like you: don't have to have a full head of hair to be considered a woman. You know what I mean like well: being trans, a lot of people feel like having hair solidifies your Womanhood, having hair certifies your femininity, and I feel like that's not true like you - can be bald and still be very much considered a woman. So very much. You know be seen as a woman. I probably am going to be rocking my bald ass skin. Without my wigs and what about it, I probably am going to be rocking my hair without my wigs, because I mean, if I'm a cuddy I might as well. You know wear it just like this, like I didn't just cut it for now. Like I mean I'm not gon na say I didn't just cut it for no reason because well obviously I didn't just cut it for no reason, but I might as well show it off. Since I cut it like one thing about me like even when I previously cut my hair to work, yeah previously cut my hair. Two years ago, I literally immediately started putting wigs back on top of my head. I probably wore my hair out, probably like once or twice simply out of embarrassment. I didn't want people to see me as a boy like I just wanted to be seen as a woman, so I felt like hair really. You know solidify my Womanhood me having weights on me, having hair really made me feel more like a woman to make me feel more like a girl, and you know, as I'm growing more into my transition and growing more into being a woman, I'm starting to realize That hair doesn't mean anything, hair can grow back. You know, yes, hair may be physically attractive to men into a lot of people. Having somebody having a lot of hair is attractive. You know it's very much like eye-catching. Like wow, you have a lot of hair and I'm not gon na lie like, but I was like. I was really nervous to cut my hair because me having hair made me feel good. Like you know, when I took my wig off in front of a dude, he seemed that I actually had hair. He was actually impressed by that, like, while you actually got a lot of hair, you know what I mean, and it actually made me feel good for adults to say that, like I don't know, if a man saying that to me or even a woman saying that To me saying I actually have a lot of hair and being um being mesmerized by my hair. It made me feel good, but baby hair don't mean nothing. Hair can always grow back, and that's just that this is your sign to cut your hair. If you want to cut your [ __ ] cutting, don't let anybody stop you? Don'T let nobody what nobody got to say, stop Boo-boo! You can cut that [ __ ]! It'S gon na grow back, it's just a little bit of hair if it's damaged cut it boom. Please let that go. Please let it go. It'S just let it go. Let it go. That'S just a call.