Teaching Adoptive Parents To Care For Natural Hair
Every child deserves to be properly groomed and to feel confident in their sense of self and in their cultural identity. But for many transracial families, especially those where Black children are adopted by non-Black parents, hair care becomes a point of struggle. Many non-Black parents find that their unfamiliarity with their children’s natural hair leaves their kids at a disadvantage. That’s where Tamekia Swint comes in. As the founder and executive director of the non-profit Styles 4 Kidz, she is creating a space for parents to learn how to care for their children’s hair without judgment or negative criticism.
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It'S hard for kids to be in a family where your family is different, but it's especially hard to be in a family where your hair is not growing. Black hair is everything in our community and it's a huge part of our identity is to be embraced. As part of your kids, culture, sometimes translation adoptive families, don't understand how important here it is it's much bigger than hair. It'S really about the care and the confidence that we're giving to the child through the hairstyle. My name is Tamika Slynt and I am the executive director of styles, for kids house for kids is a nonprofit organization that provides haircare services, education and resources for Translational adoptive families, biracial and kids in foster care. I'M gon na wash your hair. Now, okay, I've always loved doing here, and I was inspired to start this organization because I met a transracial adoptive mom. She really just needed help now watch my fingers here. She never had experience working with textured hair before and the appearance of her girls were not good. I saw the genuine need not only for her, but for so many other moms who were adopting transfer. Usually, there are not a lot of families in the african-american community or the racists who are adopting, so there does need to be more education about the hair in the cultural aspects of adopting a child with different reason. We'Ve partnered with several adoption agencies in Chicago that expressed interest in having us come there and teach classes. Why is hair a big deal who wants to take a stab at it? You'Re gon na use your column. I want you to practice this to get your parts more accurate here we see between 50 and 100 families per month come into the salon or to our workshops. Home does not even it out. Okay, all over, we have helped over a thousand families with hair care services and education. I have six adopted kids three year. Haitian and three are African. American julia is my middle child she's, eight years old, and she has a lot of hair all right. You know when my daughter was about three years old. I realized that my hair styling skills were not up to the challenge, so I looked online and found Tamika and she came to our house and she gave us a whole hairstyling lesson. She showed me how to braid and took us to the store to pick out products for my daughter's hair texture, but first the biggest challenge is learning to part straight, had to learn that oh use gel here. That helps who knew I would want to tell other transracial adoptive parents that it is your job to make your kid look decent when you're out of the house, and if you can't do that, naturally on your own and most of us can't, then it's your job To seek out help from somebody who can teach you what it does for the self-esteem and confidence of the kids is just unbelievable. It'S amazing to see the transformation that takes place and it is a blessing for me to be able to participate in the lives of the kids that I serve the basis. At the end of the day, when I go home, I feel like I truly made a difference in someone's life, and that is beyond words.
Comments
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honey money: I love that these parents are taking the time to learn how to do their child’s hair. They could have chose to have their hair looking any kind of way, but they want to learn how to make their hair amazing. It warms my heart ☺️
Halfling: I feel so sad when I see a black girl in a white family with a shaved head or completely unstyled hair because they will not take the time to learn. This woman is doing such important work!
Dagmawit thompson: I am ethiopian and was adopted when I was 4 years old. My mom had NO clue how to do hair but she learned for me and she would practice until she got it perfect. Thank you mama for learning and always being there for me ❤️❤️
Substantial_Z: IDC what color of the damn rainbow you are, if you are giving a child/children a chance at having a better life, you're alright with me.
Antikia: I'm white, single and have no kids, yet I find myself binging these 'care for natural hair' videos
ann: The parents took the time to know how to do their child's hair and I respect that.
Gabrielle Johnson: “I have six adoptive children. Three are Haitian & three are AA”. Thank you for making the distinction. There is a difference
Lilly Caines: I live in the Chicago area, I'm afro latina, and have no clue how to do my natural hair. My mom has been relaxing her own hair for forever, and had relaxed my hair for the past 12 years of my life. I'm now 19, and in college and I've just past the one year mark of no relaxers. I'm scared to big chop but I'm excited to embrace my natural hair. If these moms can learn, so can I!
Hazelxx: My daughter is almost two and mixed and I’m trying out different hair styles and products. I’m so happy with the results, YouTube helps a lot!
After all it’s not like I Cared: A looooot of triggered racists in this comment section over the white family who had 6 adopted kids who were only of a darker complexion I doubt they are refusing to adopt kids based on race, we see that the mother loves her children greatly When you adopt a kid a good parent picks the personality and the kids situation over anything else Over the age Over the appearance Over everything And I can say, that is a good parent
CurveTheRain: She even goes to the store with them and makes house calls! Amazing woman!
B: As a gay man, I always knew that adoption would likely be a part of my future. As I’ve gotten older, now 22, I’ve realized that I personally would not ever consider bringing another child into this world when there are SO many beautiful children already born who need loving homes. I just did a bit of looking into data on adoption in the US, and as I expected, Black children are the least likely to be adopted I also learned that it costs significantly less to adopt a Black child than a child of a different racial identity, especially White kids. Kids have price tags being put on them based on their racial category before they are even born Apparently the majority of adoptive parents are still White, well educated, and relatively affluent. I am White, soon to be a first-generation college graduate, and may be headed for a decently-paid future (although I come from a working class, rural family). I only mention these parts of who I am because I recognize and worry about the realities a future adoptive child of color would face in our world. One news article that came up shared the story of a transracial family from my current city, Minneapolis, who has experienced people in public making comments / asking questions about their children being a different race. And I also worry that my child might experience a lot of identity and emotional distress if they are growing up in a home where their parents don’t look like them. But all I could do is my best to love them, listen to them, and seek advice from members of the Black community about what would be best for my kids. I hope that someday I will be able to marry a kind man and adopt a child or two in need of a loving, supportive family. If Black children are the least likely to be adopted, then I’m more than willingly to give them a home This video was so touching and I am so grateful for these women working their butts off to help kids feel more comfortable and confident about their natural beauty.
Esther 에스더: This is so wholesome. I'm mixed, half Korean & my mom's hair texture is the complete opposite of mine, so it was 50/50 hit & miss when it came to her styling my hair. I used to get my hair straightened a lot, but now I'm totally natural. It's actually still a huge challenge for my own self on how to style my OWN hair. These kiddos & their parents are super cute & I wish them all the best!
stee: Look at that mom braiding her daughter's hair like a pro at the end! This woman def makes a difference in these families lives.
Spiritisalive1: I'm white, & I'm married somebody white, so I don't really have a dog in this fight, but I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama. I'll never forget a group of black girls were talking in gym class about interracial dating. Very loud, for everyone to hear... one girl said, "If your gonna have our children, then you need to learn how to do their hair." I don't know why that stuck with me, but it did. Years later I moved next door to a biracial family. The mom was white, the dad was black, & she never did her kids hair. Every time I saw those kids I would always think about what that girl said in the 7th grade... but I never had the heart to repeat it to their mom. Cowardice I know.
Christy Gior: You’re amazing Tameika
Oh: Seeing white people adopt black kids and black people adopt white kids always makes me happy for some reason
Mr. Bones: The fact that the parents are willing to learn...speaks volumes. That learning mindset needs to stay in place to counter any negativity they my encounter from people, regardless of race...because it’s coming.
yummyjackalmeat: My wife and I are thinking of adopting, this is definitely something I've thought about. I'm glad to know there are resources out there
Terena Rosa: Lol, my mom's black and didn't care to learn any of this. She immediately just gave me a relaxer. I didn't know what actual hair looked like for the longest time.
Xion Memoria: When I was in high school there were two adopted kids in my algebra class. One was a girl from Trinidad with horribly fried hair because her white parents didn't bother to learn how to care for it. The other was a Chinese boy whose hair was straight up nasty and greasy because his black parents didn't understand that he NEEDED his hair washed at least every other day. If you're going to adopt a child from another racial group, at least have the decency to learn their hygiene and health concerns.
William Fung: Let’s just appreciate how still the toddler is
Ashley Woodall: I'm 100% white as hell. That being said, my mother had stick straight hair and I had curly/wavy hair. I was told to take care of it like she took care of hers. We would get in fights where she would insist I didn't brush my hair when I had JUST brushed it and if course it now looked a frizzy mess. I don't have any pictures of my hair looking even slightly decent until I was much older. I know this is much different, but I feel for these kids and I'm glad their parents are taking the time to learn how to care for their children's hair. My husband has stick straight hair but so far both of my kids have my hair texture and I'm ensuring it's taken care of, properly. ❤️
Jamie JunkJournals: You women rock! Instead of putting down bi racial families or white families that adopt black kids you are helping them and lifting them up and that's how it should be! I really respect these women for taking the time to do this for these kids and also the parents ❤
Life in Bonnieland: YES!! My husband and I are preparing to adopt black children and we need all the help we can get to do right by our kiddos
Bella Capulet: I'm Hispanic and my husband is White.... I have major infertility problems, both my husband and my mother were in foster care at some point in their childhood. I can't wait to adopt a sweet child or teenager that needs a loving home. Thank you and God bless for giving us a resource to care for our future.
ansi roy: I'm so shook with the amount of care natural hair needs.... I mean I always knew it was hard but recently I have gotten to know it's a whole process that takes like a lot of time.... I used to think it was just like okay you need to put in some conditioner the chill for a bit tgen straighten it then chill for a bit but it is like a 6 hour upper body workout and so demanding... I will never be able to do it and I stan black women for being able to take care of their hair so well, it's a whole prescience. My own hair is the most easiest kind yo work with, its wavy straight, and I wash it once a week and still feel like I wanna cut it all off but damn now I'm just like counting my blessings and just educating myself on the various types of hair and care and stuff..
Group836: The problem is too many white people try to live in the “we don’t see color” world. That just doesn’t exist. Your black child’s hair is not the same as yours or your white children. You may not see them or treat them differently but they’re still black and as their parent it’s your job to embrace that and learn what you need to in order to raise a healthy black child. I’m so proud of these parents who seek out help and I’m so glad there are people who are willing to help without judgement.
TheCarlScharnberg: I'm mixed, and my (white) mother just cut off my hair because she didn't know how to deal with it. Eventually, we did get what we needed, and she would take us to afro shops to get our hair done. But I still don't really know how to take care of my own hair, because I was never taught how to do it properly (I'm gonna learn, though; especially in case my future kids get the same texture). I've had dreads for over a decade now, so it's not a problem. That said, people with mixed or adopted kids need to be mindful of this.
Chloé Grace: I worked at a summer camp every summer and there was this one little girl who wasn’t in my class but was across the hall from my mine so I always saw her and we had activities together because the groups were similar ages. I will never forgot how messy and tangled her hair was and how she knew it was. I just felt so bad because her mom put her hair in 4 puff balls everyday and her hair was breaking off and dry! She would also itch it in pain sometimes. I loved that little girl so much and wanted to help the mom but the mom was extremely intimidated that I was black. It effects their self image so much because the days that her hair was redone and brushed her personality was different and more joyful. So please please please. If you plan on adopting yay!! Thank you but you are hurting the child if you ignore their hair and culture.
Dad Shoe: I like how the people aren’t rude or I guess racist towards the families, they are just simply helping them out with hair care.
Bacon.: These kids are going to be so grateful when they get older. There's nothing negative about this video. So lovely
S H: That crown braid is so pretty on the little angel, wish i could do it in my own hair but it's actually a really hard skill to pick up so these parents' initiative and involvement is commendable !
Uma Kotwal: It's so nice that these people take the time to learn how to care for their children's hair. They could just do whatever, but they want to do it right and I respect that.
Fashionably Late: This is absolutely beautiful and I'm so happy to know that you are helping in this way and parents are actually interested
eternet: imagining arguing in the comments that white people cant adopt black children because the white parents might not know a lot about the black community. that's the whole point! getting involved in the hair, making sure your child loves who they are and not stripping them away from their culture. any parent with a child know its learning along the way. you're not going to know every single thing about black culture. hell, I'm black and my mom doesnt know how to do jack squat with my natural hair because shes been perming and straightening it her for a long ass time so when I started to become natural, I had to learn the shit on my own. white parent who adopt black kids, all I'm saying is that you try. try to do their hair, try to reach out and find help, understand that your child is going to feel out of place at times but it's your job as a parent, white, black anything to make sure your child feels love. in transracial adoption, learning about the difference is important but everything you need to learn should come from wanting to be a loving parent. not because you absolutely have to just because your child is black. learn to take care of your child because they are your child, not just because they're black. there shouldn't be one or the other.
Angel Copes: It takes a lot as a parent to admit that you can't or don't know how to do something for your child. I'm glad that there are parents like these who seek the help to make their kids lives better and more exciting.
snailmail_art: I’m so glad she has the hair shop. I as an adopted child it’s hard to connect to my culture. I hope there are more people like her to help adopted children to learn there culture.
Mary Wangen: When I was going through foster care certification, all of us who were willing to foster transracially, we were required to learn how to take care of their hair. It was very useful! Thank you for doing this!
S: Wow, you’re doing great work ladies. Keep it up! X
Gem -: I lover her saying "...the kids that I serve". It is such a warm expression. You ladies are doing a great job!!!
Disney Princess in training: I’m so happy to see this is out there! I want to adopt and if one of my babies ended up being African descent I want to know how to care for their hair. Look at these beautiful families and babies!
kindle urie: This makes me so hopeful for the future. As an lgbt person Ive always known I will adopt one day and have always known id need education like this. God bless this woman
Life of An Awkward Oreo: I wish this was around for my family when I was adopted. I was taken in at birth and every man women and child no matter the race was against the fact that a white family took me in. My dad was in fights with people in our country and even to today at 23 years of age people assume negatives about my family because of the colour of their skin. What astounds me even today is the biggest outcry comes from the black African community in my country( I'm in South Africa so to us no matter your race you are considered African if you are born on this land). At age 18 I had a fellow students mother (black woman) physically try to force me in her car yo take me to the police because in her eyes I've been brainwashed and kidnapped. But, thank the good Lord, people are becoming more lenient to the newer generation of adoptive families. Seeing this warms my heart and I hope it continues to become something to celebrate instead of shun and shame
ppjskh: This made me cry! These children are so beautiful and I appreciate their adoptive parents for actually learning how to maintain their hair, so the better children are prepared to manage their hair later on in life. So many adopted black children never learn how to manage their hair if they aren't taught early on, so this is absolutely amazing. ❤
Lucy Mueni: I love everything about this thank you for everything you do
S S: I love this! And I so respect and appreciate the parents doing this for their babies!!
sejuti: The effort these parents put into doing their child's hair nicely helps the children love themselves for who they are and also acts as a whole new experience for the parents. It is really a lovely thing.
Suzie wanjiru: I absolutely love this! It’s very upsetting to see little kids who are adopted into families that don’t seek help with stuff like this. What an amazing cause.
Lekha P. Reddy: The love in these parents' eyes as they're learning so is beautiful! They look so excited to be able to take care of their children's hair properly
Regina Phalange: This warms my heart. Especially with everything that is going on with the world these days and the hatred. We need to promote positivity and love louder than the hatred and ignorance in this world.
worship the comedy god seo eunkwang or else: im an asian adoptee, but this is a really amazing thing that adoptive parents actually want to be culturally and racially aware! growing up, my white mom would just chop off my hair to shoulder length because its very coarse, thick, and grew 10 inches every 6 months and she didnt know how to style it since its so stubbornly straight. her hair in comparison is the thin, wispy blonde that never grew past her shoulders. she was actually pretty abusive about cutting my hair and keeping it short. i never felt like i had control over my own hair and as a result, i hardly took care of it and let it get tangled into visible knots. to this day i still struggle to care for it, although watching tutorials online has helped me a lot. i know its a very different experience compared to black adoptees though. im just glad that there actually white parents out there that care.
GracieO_says: This is such an important service for adoptive parents. Amazing work Tameka!!!!
Angelica C: this is amazing. I would like to adopt in the future and I am open to any race. I do worry about making sure their hair needs are being properly taken care of because hair is apart of who this child is. Gotta make sure they are confidant !!!
I Am Dash: Awe I have lots of respect for them taking the time to learn and love these kids ❤️❤️❤️
ello: My sister was adopted and is light skinned my mom being white and only ever dealt with white hair always struggled with my sisters hair witch in turn made my sister very self conscious about her hair . so it’s really not just about hair being treated properly it’s also about the kid that is wearing that hair and how much confidence they can get from felling “pretty”
kiera c: yesss she’s amazing. she’s been doing my hair since I was 6 (now 13) I’m biracial and it was very hard before she came along SHES A GOD SEND
Annie NYC: This. Is. Beautiful! The kids are gorgeous, and learning to care for all of who they are is absolutely essential. I love this!
Julia Hofman: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I want to adopt someday and I'm reserved about adopting an African american child because I dont know how to care for their hair! But now I see there are resources! THANK YOU
Cf: I love this! Everyone deserves happiness ❤️❤️
D C: I'm an transracially adoptive parent. My twins came home when they were 3. Now 16. We live in a rural area and I had no help learning hair!! This would have been so helpful for my family!
Amanda Kelley: How can there be 169 thumbs downs? If a child has a loving home that cares about how to properly care for a child’s needs how can it be something you don’t like?
Saroki: I’m so glad people are teaching this. Builds so much confidence for the kids and represents their culture. I love it
Mz. Nesha: This amazing. They need more organizations like this all over...
Smith A: Omg!! So adorable!!! Bless their little hearts!!!
Shre: This is so thoughtful and beautiful ❤️ Hats off to the parents and Tamekia
Charlotte Bossen Nielsen: This almost made me cry. What a beautiful way to help families
priscilla james: OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T EVEN WATCHED THIS BUT IVE BEEN SAYING THIS MY WHOLE LIFE - if you’re going to adopt a child you are adopt their culture and heritage, it’s a package deal, so take the time to learn it and nurture where they came from and who they are and teach them about it!! this is so important ❤️ make well rounded individuals who are proud of who they are and their heritage and culture NOT copy’s of you ❤️
Sarah-maude Gilbert: This warms my heart
Marichele Jeremiah-Wright: Loved this the fact that they wanted to learn is beautiful
mcloving lol: i remember when i was about 6-10 years old i was best friends with these kids from church and they were mixed. their mother was white but she did everything she could to take care of their hair and make it look as good as possible. she used to teach me how to do their hair too because i’m not black and i don’t have their hair type. this family really inspired me and made me realize how amazing black hair culture is and the history behind it.
Lizette Avila: Thank you so much!! As a curly hair girl I know the struggle of getting teased for having hair that looks different from others. But as time went on, I found YouTubers just as yourself who helped me take care and treat my hair in a proper manner!
m8trxd: I am crying. Missing my childhood bf.... she was mixed and oooooooh boy I was taught at an early age that you do NOT touch all those amazing barrettes and baubles. Missing the little girls in my old neighborhood who cornered me one day and worked a magic starbust of cornrows into my fine blond hair. Tamika, you must be the most patient person on the planet to deal with white ladies all day, for these little girls to get their pride in order.
RDM _Bk: As a transracial, transnational adoptee, thank you for what you do!
Gisma Turuk: This is so sweet. it makes me so happy how much effort they put in. ❤️
cosi: i wish this video was here 14 years ago, my parents left my hair very unhealthy and dry. luckily, I have used youtube to learn how to care for my hair. Thank you for doing this, it really means a lot!
행복하자: Tamika sounds like an amazing woman! It’s my dream to be financially stable to either adopt or foster. I wouldn’t know how to style AA hair. It’s an wonderful resource for all the parents that love their kids and understand the importance of proper hair care. This story had me crying tears of joy.
LMmccallL57: I Love this! I appreciate the young woman for starting this up in order to help the parents, and I'm proud of the parents for taking time to get the help they need. I know of five biracial girls that I see around my city a lot. I'd say the age range is seven to twelve. I feel so bad for them because their hair always looks terrible and I fear that they're bullied at school about it. I believe their mothers are sisters. They're both white women who do look somewhat alike, and they both have reddish/strawberry blonde hair. One has three daughters and the other has two, and all but one little girl has reddish brown hair, while hers is dark brown. Their hair is always parted crooked, as if with fingers, it's extremely dry and stiff, and never in any nice styles...usually a dry, matted, bushy puff on top of the head, while the rest sticks out whichever way, or one puff on each side of the head. When I see them in the store, I do have the urge to ask the mothers if they would like some tips, but I don't know if their reactions will be good, and I don't want any trouble. Maybe if I ever catch them looking at hair products, I'll try to strike up a conversation about the products and try to ease in some advice and hope not to offend. I just wish I could take care of their hair or at least give them a nice style for a day.
Tonia Putinia: I love seeing them learning from the child, and about how important their identity and culture is! This is a really great idea❤️
Isabella Byers: My family is a foster family and we had to learn how to care for textured hair all on our own so I’m thrilled that others don’t have to be alone in their journey and they have educated people to help them along the way it truly warms my heart ❤️☺️
Wabba’s Abode: I love that even the dads are being so involved!
Lisa: I have to admit I was a parent that had no idea what to do with my daughter's hair. We struggled for years trying to find the right products and how to do her hair. It wasn't until she was older that we figured it out and by then she could do her own hair. I wish there was this type of program when she was younger.
Rose: This is so sweet, I love how the parents take the time to learn how to style their kid’s hair also the fact that the women teaches the parents about how to work with textured hair.
Vee Rose: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this!!!! I’ve been trying for a while to learn how to do biracial hairstyles for my boys and stepdaughter. This would be awesome and beyond appreciated when I live!
Den Keeper: What a beautiful bonding experience and opportunity to talk to your kids.
whovibe: I’m crying so hard, they’re so adorable
-Esmée -: Awh this is so nice to see❤️ as someone who’s adopted i really appreciate them doing this, i can imagine that that kind of hair is hard to style
Natalie Ngonela: This is te most beautiful thing ever! Congratulations to the adoptive parents there! They deserve all the praise! ❤️
:3: This was so heartwarming it's nice to see that the parents took the time to actually learn to do there child's hair instead of just not trying at all. this is definitely one of my favorite channels.
Poopie Unicorn: This video made my quarantine a whole lot better ❤️
Evil Pussywillow: Worked in the school system 25 years. I’ve seen the “hairstyles” and parents just lost. There is tons of love but styling and care for our beautiful children with beautiful black hair. Thanks for the care, thanks for bringing communities together!
Mollie A: This is absolutely wonderful! My husband and I were foster parents to two beautiful biracial children. The little boy was only a year old and didn't have much hair, but the little had LOTS and it was gorgeous. I watched SO many videos on youtube that helped, but having someone hands-on teach me would have helped even more.
J Mid: This totally warmed my heart much respect and love ❤️
Dollie: Aw, this warms my heart! Well done ladies for teaching these parents and helping these children love their hair!!!!
CumulusSkies: What an awesome story! Thank you for making and sharing it with us. :)
Jazzie Daniels: I literally teared up. This makes me so happy for those beautiful kids
AnnyLovesPink: Love this ❤️ my son is mixed (black & white) and I’m still trying to find the perfect hair care routine that works for his hair. He’s three now and has curly hair but it’s not coarse. My biggest issue is the lack of products where I live. So frustrating like I have to spend $40 dollars just for shipping
Olivia Drew: i’m a transracial adoptee(my parents are white and i’m african) this video makes me really happy because my parents never learned how to take care of my hair and it made my self confidence plummet as a child. i wish my parents had the same drive to learn as these moms and dads.
Angie Pangie 💖: This is amazing! So glad there’s education out there for these parents I am thankful to be be raised by my mother who is black, (I am mixed) so I never had issues caring or understanding my own hair thanks to her.