Tipsy Talk: So Black Girl Luxury Is Out And Soft Girl Life Is In?

Okay, i'm jumping straight into doing my hair because i don't know what's going on. Okay, this hair is from julia hair and i'm excited because this is my first v part and you know i had to get curly hair. I love a good curly moment, but it's huge. I brushed it out. It is it's big okay, so i think i want to add just a couple layers to like give it some shape, because i don't know what's happening right now. This is supposed to be my first tipsy talk and i'm gon na grab the wine after i cut this hair just because i don't need any hair getting into my drink speaking of hair. This is not one of the topics for today, but i'm this close. I am this close to relaxing my hair. I feel like a lot of black women are jumping back on the relaxer train and a part of me is like okay, like i really want it to be natural, but another part of me is like i'm exhausted. I just cannot keep up with my hair. I'Ve been natural for almost five six years and i'm tired. I sometimes i just want to go outside and not have to deal with it not have to deal with it. So, okay, so i'm pulling these curls apart and look how soft and fluffy they look. I think i want to go for like a bigger look. I need to keep playing around with it, but i really like the way this hair curls everything about it will be in the description bar. I don't know if i like v parts like i'm gon na wear it, but i don't know. Maybe i left a little too much hair out because it just feels like it feels like a leave out wig a u-part wig, so i don't know other than that these curls are bomb. I am going to clean up my station grab. My wine grab my makeup. So we can actually sit down and have a little talk. Okay, hair is done and wine of choice is cloud watcher. It'S a pinot grigio honestly. I think i love wine so much because one it makes me feel good and two. I just like the idea of going in choosing a wine that you know nothing about and experiencing it. This is my first tipsy talk. That'S what i wanted to call it something chill i feel like girl talk, like i don't know, youtube has grown out of girl talks like girl. Talks were a huge thing like three four five years ago, even like two years ago, and i'm not gon na call. It a get ready with me, because i am not a makeup girl nor my beauty girl so most times i probably won't be getting ready. I just wanted to do it this time. I just want to be sipping. My wine answering questions talking about topics bringing my girlfriends on so this this particular video is just an experiment. I'M trying to see what i like what i don't like y'all see. I made a little background trying to make it look a little pleasing to the eye. Okay, we are finally getting into things my eyebrows take forever and i don't even know why, because i don't even feel like i do a good job at doing my eyebrows, so why do they take so long to give me average first things first, is i started School and man being on a schedule has changed my life, i know y'all were thinking. I was going to say something. Negative, no being on a schedule has truly changed my life, and i feel like that was what i needed this whole time like being not restricted to any timelines or deadlines that made me wild, like it really made me unmotivated to do anything, and i feel, like I was just wasting every single day of my life. Like i felt my days just floating past me, i would wake up at 12 o'clock. Do one thing that whole day go to sleep at two o'clock in the morning, like i just felt like all my days were the same. I wasn't super happy with how i was moving, but i didn't know how to change it and i didn't really see what the problem was. But now that i have a schedule and it's involving something that i am absolutely in love with. Oh, my god, my life has changed honey and i feel like with this new change. I'Ve been so much more in tune with myself and i feel my creativity coming back for the longest time. I didn't feel creative anymore, which was crazy because growing up, i was so creative, like ideas would always come into my mind, but once i became older and i obviously worked online, i just felt like i lost that sense of creativity and i'm finding it again like. I would just do trends i would do whatever worked um. Even my thumbnails. I wanted my thumbnails to look like everybody else's blah blah blah um. The titles y'all know y'all know what it takes to um, get seen and noticed on social media. So i felt like i lost my sense of creativity. I am just running with ideas all day long, that's how i came up with this um tipsy talk. I was like you know what that would be so fun, because a goal of mine was to start a podcast and i'll be honest with you, i never say never, but that doesn't really align with my with my real goals, the goals that i want for myself. I told you all over and over again i don't want to be a content. Creator like this is not. This is not like my end goal. This is just something that i'm doing along the way, while i'm finding myself. So i didn't really want to over involve myself in the content world like i really wanted to focus on learning design and being in school and getting hitting those milestones in that way. So i was like how can i really just talk talk my ass off, because i love to talk. I'M like how can i talk, but it not just be random on a podcast and somebody clicks off of it. I mean not a podcast it'd not just be random. On a vlog and somebody clicks off, and i was like you know what i just need to have like a cute little series where i can just chat it up, and it really just had me open my eyes to a new lifestyle. And that brings me into the first topic that i wanted to hit today when i thought about the lifestyle that i wanted for myself. I thought i want a life of freedom and i feel like so many people are moving towards that idea, like it's funny. Um. First, we had this like girl, boss era 2014 i'll, say 2012 to 2016.. There was like this girl, boss era, where women wanted to work their ass off, be in the same positions as men. Um ceo girl bosses y'all, know like there was a whole genre of books movies, just women in general, like we were trying to all be girl bosses, and then it came out that okay, like even though you're a woman you're still contributing to capitalism like you're. Not it's not any different, whether a man does it or a woman. Does it like you're you're still causing problems. So then we started to reanalyze. That and say: maybe your girl boss is not. Maybe that's not the vibe. We want to go with and then we moved into this like luxury black girl movement or just luxury in general, we were all about this black girl luxury. Like wanting nice things, um, i don't care what y'all say. We were saying that luxury just means a better life, but to be honest, when you looked online luxury the way they showed it, it was material. It was designer items, it was floor-to-ceiling windows, it was literally luxury things. So then we moved out of that because we realized that it was almost kind of elitist and now it's it's funny how, as a collective, we're all figuring things out together and everybody's mindset kind of shifts at once and we're realizing okay, that maybe that's not exactly What i want - but i think i want this and i'm not gon na - lie, i'm there right now. I have been seeing this idea of a soft girl movement. Okay and that's what i want. That'S what i want, but right now i wanted to really dive into what a soft girl movement is like everybody's talking about having a soft life now like that is the new movement. It'S soft life everywhere. I just want a soft life and, to be honest with you at first, i knew what they were talking about. Like i understand you want a soft life, but how do you define that and i think that's coming out of this pandemic like we're all saying? Okay, you can be home and you can still have a good life. You can still make good money and you don't have to work as hard and i think that's the place that most people are at in life like we don't want a lot of money. People don't care about having the best material things like most people just want a good life full of happiness and peace and calmness. I think a lot of people are equating a soft life to the job that you do, but i think it's a little bit more than that. I would define it as creating a life full of calmness, um really being in tune with your emotions and your intuition. Not doing things that don't make, you feel good, not putting yourself in traumatic situations, not being around people who don't have your best interests at heart, like i look at it as catering to yourself and catering to me, above all else, it's just being super intentional and Being soft with yourself, literally just being a softer version of yourself, not to say that's me that means you're more feminine or you're more masculine, like just having a balance there so yeah. I just find it interesting that everybody wants to move towards that kind of lifestyle, but i also want to talk about the fact that we're constantly trying to put ourselves in a box like why is everybody all of a sudden want to be a soft girl, including Myself like, why are we all saying this is the new wave? We are no longer luxury black girls, we are soft girls and it's like. Are we not tired? Are we not tired of this idea that you have to be a certain person like you have to fit a certain mold like? Can you not be all of these things in one? Can you not be a girl, boss, a luxury girl and a soft girl and an it girl like? Why is there an idea that you have to pick one and stick with it like? This is your aesthetic? This is who you are and that's what it's gon na be. I think we are too multi-dimensional to be so focused on just one part of who you are because sometimes i'm not soft. Sometimes i got ta get to the money. Sometimes i got ta go to the store and buy some things. We embody so many things. So why is there an idea to just be a half of yourself or less than a whole human? Like you have emotions you're allowed to think outside what you said yesterday, and sometimes your aesthetic is not giving what you wanted to give and that's. Okay, like life, is not perfect. I feel like all these movements are just making it hard for us to be authentic. Like it's fun to play around and have an aesthetic, but in all honesty you know just take little things from it like okay, i enjoy being soft and i enjoy respecting my own boundaries, so i'm gon na implement that into my life. Okay, i believe that i deserve nice things, so i'm gon na implement that into my life, like you, don't have to take on these lifestyles wholeheartedly. That'S really where i'm at, like i'm talking to myself as well, because you see it happening and you see these lifestyles you're, like. Oh, my god like she looks so happy like okay, i need to be a soft girl. I need to be an it girl. Why did i put all this blush on my nose? I need to be an it girl and i don't know i feel like i just lose myself like. I can incorporate certain parts of it into who i already am because i, like this person, i think, she's fun. I think she's cool, like i can be a it girl on the weekends soft girls on wednesdays luxury girls on fridays. When i get paid on 15th, i can do it all. I don't know that's how i feel on that and i've said that about every movement, clean girl movement, it girl, movement, black girl, movement, like it's just so hard to box yourself into these aesthetics y'all, because we're so much more just be it all. One day you post a clean girl aesthetic one day you posted it, girl, aesthetic, switch it up. Confuse everybody - and i said this in my last video and i'll say it again. I feel like the reason we gravitate towards these ideas is because we associate them with better lives like okay. If i am a clean girl, maybe i'll get my together faster, you know or if i am, a soft girl i'll be able to manifest the certain things that i want in my lifestyle. So i don't know just just just relax, you're perfect. The way you are things things are happening slowly. I forgot to put my setting powder on that. One is hitting me so yeah. Let me know how y'all feel about these movements. I don't hate them. I think that they're fun, like i think it's really fun to like see these different aesthetics aesthetics are very applic. Oh aesthetics are very pleasing, but sometimes they can be harmful. If we take him too serious and last thing, i'm noticing, with the soft girl movement it's getting taken over by the femininity coaches - and i don't have an issue with them, but i don't know: let's have a talk about it because for some reason, although i don't Have an issue with those coaches: it can feel it can just feel a little performative and unattainable in a way like the coach is always coming out with new rules. You know what i'm saying and i love them. I love them. I think some women need things like that, because i remember when i was talking to a friend. She talked about the fact that she didn't have a mother figure in her life, so those videos kind of guide her. So i can see how they're extremely helpful, but sometimes it's like girl, another rule dang, it kind of it. It pushes people out, like certain people, are not allowed to be feminine. You know like it creates a category of feminism that i don't appreciate and i'm noticing that some people are equating the soft girl lifestyle to that, which i don't like, because when i think of soft girl life, i just think of a life where you're kinder to Yourself, like that's it, i think, of a life where you're putting yourself first you're super intentional, and i don't think of it as the way you dress the way. You look so, and i think that was the reason why the luxury movement was messed up, because so many people started to look at it as what you had versus how you felt like it's all about how you feel inside. I think all these movements just mean confidence like it's just equating to having more confidence in who you are and showing up. As that period, there's gon na always be another movement after this one there'll be another one, and you just have to like, i said, take what you want from it and keep it pushing you can't make it who you are. The lighting in this room is so trash and this wine is getting to me. This is my second glass. This is my second glass, but i'm feeling good. I promise y'all. The next video will be a lot more organized, i'm just kind of going with the flow like i'm not even well wrong brush. This one is definitely getting to me, i'm not even thinking too hard about it, like i'm having fun right now. Let me put my lashes on and weird time all right, so this is the finished. Look i really like it honestly. Let me know what you think about the look and let me know what you think about this first tipsy talk. I might have got a little too tipsy, i'm not gon na lie. Maybe i could bring it down to like maybe a sip, every 10 minutes that might work a little better, but i had a lot of fun and i think next time i'll come better prepared with topics, because i like my topics, but i wanted to get more In depth with very specific topics, so maybe that'll be something that we can just figure out along the way, and i can fix my setup and it'll just be a whole thing and we have junior. I cut his hair myself, so he looks so handsome say. Hi june he's over it girl he like where the food it anyways. I think we are done. I have a couple errands to run so leave any critiques that you have down below on how i can make this better comment on all the topics that i talked about. I know it wasn't a lot, but i want to hear your opinions and yeah y'all. That was our first tipsy talk. I will talk to you later, bye, guys,